(Just a heads up. Massive dose of Christianity incoming. If this offends you, please skip this chapter. If not, then please enjoy.)
Meanwhile though, while these two lovers were happily asleep, all was not well. While Taylor and Redheart were sleeping soundly below her, Celestia was trying to sleep as well, but she was still haunted by her previous actions.
"Why did I do that? All Taylor was trying to do was comfort me while I cried, and then I go and pull a stunt like that! Why? Now he will probably hate me forevermore."
While Celestia was contemplating this though, she was also haunted by the words of several prophesies regarding Equestria's future. One of them warned that one day, Celestia's and Luna's powers, as well as the curse that would come with them, would be passed to another mare by the end of the next generation.
"Another Alicorn, doomed to live practically forever? Poor young mare. Poor, poor, whoever she will be. And by the end of the next generation too. I pray to the Heavens that this does not come to be."
Another stated that when Nightmare Moon did return, she would not be defeated by Celestia this time, but instead by "Six, untrained fillies, as well as an elderly being from another world. All will become the next bearers of the Elements of Harmony."
The final prophesy though, really unnerved Celestia. This one warned that at some point down the road, another human would come to Equestria, but he wouldn't be fully human. Instead, he would be a sort of hybrid! The prophesy failed to state exactly what this hybrid would do, but it's description made it sound like a science experiment gone wrong.
Celestia shook her head. "I really don't like these at all, especially this last one, known as the 'Hybrid' Prophesy. It all sounds so awful." As the Princess of the Land, she feared for the future of her nation, as well as for the lives of her subjects.
"These are just prophesies", she tried to reassure herself, "Those mentioned here are the last ones that you would ever suspect to be heroes, and the date on the first one is too specific." However, Celestia then remembered one remarkable aspect of God.
"He always seems to have a knack for picking the least likely of heroes to save the day, or the most unlikely of situations to further His Glory."
Seeking a source of comfort, Celestia had started reading the old 'Holy Book' that her mother had passed to her; both for comfort, and because she wanted to know more about God, and His role in the affairs of Earth. She wanted to ask Taylor some questions about all of this, but she didn't know where to start.
She already knew off the bat about the Story of God, and His role in early history, but she wanted to know more, so she kept reading. Finally, she couldn't take it anymore. Celestia knew that it was almost 3:00 in the morning, but she went to her door, and stuck her head out.
"Guards?"
"Um, Yes my Princess?"
"Would one of you be willing to go and wake up Mr. Taylor for me?"
"Well, sure Princess, but why?"
Celestia seemed to be on the brink of tears. "I need him! I want him to show me the way! To tell me the real story!"
The guards all looked at each other, incredibly confused. One of them however spoke up.
"I'll do it Princess." That guard was Tinker.
"You will, Captain Tinker?"
"Yes Ma'am."
Celestia nodded. "Go then, and please hurry!"
Tinker nodded, and left immediately to go find Taylor.
Taylor was sound asleep when all of a sudden, he awoke when someone, or rather somepony, shaking him.
"Huh, what?" Taylor then found himself face to face with Tinker. "Tinker? What are you doing in here? It's late. What is it? What's going on?" Taylor knew that something was up.
"What's going on Sweetheart?" Redheart had woken up as well, and she was concerned too.
"I'm not sure Miss Redheart. One minute I was sleeping, and the next, Tinker here was shaking me awake."
Redheart looked at Tinker. "Seriously though what do you want?"
"Um, Her Majesty has requested Taylor's presence in the Library immediately."
Redheart looked at the clock on Taylor's nightstand. "It's almost 3:00 in the morning. Can this wait?" She was upset that her snuggle time had been interrupted.
"I'm afraid that it can't Miss Redheart. The Princess seemed extremely upset about something, and she sent me to come get Mr. Taylor."
Reluctantly, Taylor got up, and after brushing off his pants, and pulling on a robe and slippers that really didn't fit him at all, he went up with Tinker to see what Celestia wanted.
"How bad is it Tinker?" Taylor asked as they walked.
It's pretty bad. From what it sounded like, she was concerned with these prophesies that she was reading, and so for comfort, she started reading some old book that her mother gave her. After reading that for a while, she said that she needed help, and told me to come get you."
Taylor was both concerned and confused at the same time. "What book was it, do you remember?"
Tinker thought for a moment. "I think that it was one that looks like it was very important to her. It did say 'Holy Book' on it, I think."
"Um, wow, that sounds almost like a Bible. If it was, then maybe it's like the Equestrian version of it. But if that's the case, what was she so upset about?"
"She said something about wanting to make it all right again, but that she didn't know how."
By this point, the two of them had reached the door to Celestia's room, and Tinker knocked.
"Y-yes?" Came a voice from inside. It almost sounded like Celestia was sobbing.
"Um, I've brought Mr. Taylor, just like you requested."
"Just, j-just send h-him in."
Tinker opened the door, and Taylor then found himself once more inside Celestia's room. She turned around when he entered, and her face was streaked with tears.
"I came as fast as I could Princess!" Taylor was shocked when he saw her condition. "Now can you please tell me what's wrong?" ("And maybe appologize for you behavior earlier?!" Taylor thought)
Celestia then looked at him with tears in her eyes, she asked Taylor a question that not only made him freeze up like he was dead, but it made all of the Angels of Heaven rejoice, and the Demons of Hell scream in rage and agony.
"Mr. Taylor, how can I and my subjects be made right with God the Creator?" She sobbed.
Taylor had to hold onto a shelf, he was so shaky. He kept opening his mouth, but no sounds came out. Then, he felt a power in him that he never felt before. It wasn't coming from him, so he knew that it had to come from God.
He answered slowly, "There's absolutely nothing that you can do on your own to be made right with God", he explained. "After the Fall of Man in the Garden of Eden, Sin and Evil came into the world, and I'm sure that you've seen all of the results of that."
Celestia nodded, and then asked, "If I can't do anything to earn God's favor, is it out of reach because of our sin?"
Taylor shook his head. "No. God knew that He would have to create a plan to save the world from Sin. This plan would require a sacrifice of a perfect individual; someone who never sinned. Since there has never been a perfect creature since the Fall, God knew that He would have to live among Humanity for a time, before having to suffer and die a hideous death before our punishments for our Sin could be removed."
"Who? Who was this perfect sacrifice?"
"God sent His Only Son, Jesus Christ, to Earth about 2,000 years ago. According to the Bible, he was born in a barn, and laid inside a manger."
"Wait. He was born in a BARN, and laid in a MANGER?!?!?!?!"
Taylor laughed softly. "Yes, as bizarre as this may seem, it's true." Taylor then pointed to the account in the Gospel of Matthew. "All throughout His time on Earth, Christ taught about God, as well as the Way to Salvation."
"What's.....What's the way to Salvation?" Celestia asked, still sobbing slightly.
"I'm getting to that. Jesus Himself said that 'I am the Way, the Truth, and the Light; No one comes to the Father except through Me.' That's the way to Salvation. All you have to do is to put your Faith and Trust in Jesus, and that's it."
Celestia was still confused. "That's it!?!?! That sounds WAY too easy!"
"Yep, that's all there is to it. Just put your Faith in Christ."
"Is that the whole story though? What about the Sin, and the punishment for that?"
Taylor nodded. "Yes, there's much more to this. I know that you're going to want to hear the full story, so I suggest that you make yourself comfortable, and hold on, this is going to be a story that will change your life forever."
Celestia sat down on her pillows, and once Taylor was seated in front of her, he began his tale....
Brief suggestion: Change your short description so it tells us a few things about your plot instead of saying it's part of a series and what that series is called. Those few sentences are the only thing you get to win over new readers when your story updates. Those words and characters are precious--each one can convince someone new to come take a look.
The fact you're writing it is self-evidence, no need to state that. That it's part of a series can be determined by site metadata by anyone who clicks on it. You have only a few seconds to win over people as their fingers skim the list of new stories. Make them count.
Thank you for the suggestion Starscribe. I corrected it. I'm still learning how to use Fimfiction, and since this is my first story, I'm learning through trial and error.
--I think I'm getting conceptual whiplash. I just spent the last chapter reading about a very much not okay from a Christian worldview (and certainly not to somone from the Greatest Generation) graphic encounter with a horse, and now I'm about to get God again?
--Hey some actual regret from Celestia. Even if it's very "Mary Sue" regret (IE: Her regret isn't focused on herself, but whether the mary sue will like her. As opposed to being focused on her own personal struggle and mistakes, the way a regular person would feel regrets) Still, that's at least half credit from me!
--OH NO. Not another "7th element of harmony". I bet this sentence earned you at least 3 of those downvotes you got.
--Also, things like this earn downvotes. Why? Because they're a betrayal of the spirit of the show. Those who read MLP stories obviously care very deeply about the canon, or they wouldn't read in the first place. Adding new places and characters is one thing, but this kind of thing is a _betrayal_ of the canon. WHat does this mean? You're taking the characters we know and love and making them helpless in the presence of some powerful savior (of your own creation, of course). This kind of thing is one of the quickest ways of making readers dislike a story.
Celestia shook her head. "I really don't like these at all, especially this last one, known as the 'Chosen One' Prophesy. It all sounds so awful.
--I agree with you, Celestia. It sounds so awful. Like a draft I would cover in red pen and send back for revison.
--1, we never saw Taylor loan his bible last chapter. If you want an element to be plot significant, you MUST do it in advance. You can't retroactively do it like this, it feels like Dues Ex Machina. I'm sure you've heard that before.
2. Why the heck would Celestia search for comfort in the bible? Presumably Equestria has its own record of God's dealings with their own kind. And if not, why would she even have reason to believe what it says? She might search for answers in it, or search for information, but we don't go to something new and strange for comfort, we go to something old and familiar. A favorite blanket, a favorite verse... Celestia surely has her own sources for comfort.
--Oh boy.
(almost 3 in the morning is a fine thing to say, BTW. I'm not complaining about it. Unlike 1060 years ago, it's the way a person might actually talk)
bed.
--Here's a question. If God really needed ponies to be "made right" with him, wouldn't he have cared enough about all the ponies in the thousands of years in the past to call prophets back then, so those souls could be saved too? If that was a thing ponies needed, why wouldn't he care until Taylor to send help?
Yeah, talk about conceptual whiplash. Fornicating with an animal to Jesus saves in one chapter flat. I'll just say that none of this feels like it belongs in your story. Like you took time out from the story you were actually telling for some religious wish-fulfillment. Helping Celestia find her faith really could make sense in a story, if that's what the story was about and it was earned. It very much isn't earned here, so it just feels like someone vomited bible onto the page. I'm not offended by religion, just bothered by poor narrative choices. I would cut this section completely if I revised the story.
8537591
Hello Starscribe.
*sees chapter, remembers how I did it, and braces for the repercussions. Mind begins to run through explanations.*
First of all, I already foresaw the Christianity being seen as offensive to some people. I added that warning, because I didn't want to get kicked off Fimfiction because somepony complained!
Next, again with the Mary-sue thing. I see what you mean, and I get it. *makes a mental note that when I write more about characters in the future, to not make characters too shallow, or too deep. Also, above all, NO MARY-SUES!!!!!!!!*
Next, yes I know all about this. For some reason, nopony seems to like the "7th Element". However, this is because those who tried fudged it up. Luckily for you, I have a secret weapon. I actually listened to a panel at a pony convention, Midwest Bronyfest, on how to do this properly. Don't worry, I did it the right way. When I write that chapter, hopefully it'll be a breath of fresh air from all of the other "Botched 7th Element" fails.
*sighs* THAT prophesy was written down by a lunatic. Some "All seeing" wacko wrote that stuff down to scare ponies. It does contain a grain of truth, but nothing more. Just needed to clarify. (I'll also fix it.)
1. I failed to realize this until after this chapter had been written. I'll fix that.
2. I wrote this story 2 1/2 years ago. Looking back, I see now that I may have fatally cross-wired it. I'll explain it as best I can. Celestia knew about the curse that her family had inherited, and after what she had done with Taylor, her guilt really came back to haunt her. This coupled with the prophecies, really began to tear her apart, just like it had done to Taylor. In her distress, she read the book that her mother had given her, and it made her realize the need for salvation. As such, she summoned Taylor. (*bangs head against the wall* "This was a good idea, this was a good idea, this was a good idea.....")
Finally, there is something that I should probably say about my characters. All of them, from my OC's, to historical figures, to Ponies and the like, are all flawed. Even my heroes like Taylor are flawed. They're only human/Pony after all. They all make mistakes. I use this as an anchor to try and keep my stories relate-able. (but yes, I really botched this one. From Chapter 16 onward, I see the error of my ways, derailed plans for future Christian storytelling aside from occasional references, and tried to recover from these massive blows. So far, i don't think that I've succeeded very well.)