Chapter 33: Seeing Things, Looking Ahead, and Business Plans
Taylor sighed, before nervously looking up at the doctor. "So, um, how exactly is this process going to work Dr. Stables?"
The doctor looked over his notes. "Well Mr. Taylor, it's going to be a very simple procedure. First of all, we're going to remove the black gauze covering the bandages over your eyes. Then, with the greatest of care, we're going to remove those bandages. Once that's complete, we're going to give you a few more eyedrops, and then do a final check to make sure that your eyes are indeed ok."
"And then I'll be able to see?"
"Well, to an extent. Remember, the optometrists said that your eyes will never again quite be what they once were. You will be able to see, however, we won't know for sure how well until the bandages are removed."
Taylor nodded. "Yes, I understand doctor. However, before the procedure begins, I have a simple request to make."
"And what's that Taylor?" Redheart asked.
"Can James please be present for this as well? I want him here for this."
"I assume so Taylor, provided of course that he's awake."
Redheart then paged an on-duty nurse to go see if James was awake, and if so, to tell him that Taylor wanted him to be present when the procedure to remove the bandages began. The nurse said that she would get on it right away.
About 10 minutes later, a very tired looking James walked into the room.
"Gosh", he mumbled, "Can't a guy get some sleep around here? It feels like I just fell asleep, and then some nurse came in and told me that I was needed in Taylor's room, and that it was critically important. Now that I'm here, I have to know, what was so important?"
"I wanted you here James, because the time has come for me to have the bandages removed from my eyes."
James's tone immediately changed. "What? It's time for that? Well, in that case, I guess that I can't really be too mad at you Taylor. In fact, I'm glad that you called me here to witness the procedure."
Taylor smiled a bit. "You're welcome James, you are my comrade after all.
A few minutes later, Once Dr. Stables and Nurse Redheart had prepared a few things, they were ready to go.
"Ok, now just lean back a bit Mr. Taylor."
Taylor did so, and sighed a bit.
"Are you nervous Taylor?" Redheart asked him gently.
He nodded. "Yeah, I am. In the past week, I went from having 20/20 vision, to being blind, and now it looks like I'm going to be able to see again. It's a really weird change."
"Yeah, I can imagine that it would be. Would, um, would you like me to hold your hoof, er....um, hand?" Redheart blushed, although Taylor couldn't see it.
He nodded slowly. "Sure, if that's what you want Miss Redheart."
He then reached out his hand for her hoof, and she took it gently.
"Ok, are you ready for this Mr. Taylor?"
"As ready as I'll ever be Dr. Stables."
"Ok then, here we go. It all boils down to this."
Then, as gently as he could, using a pair of scissors with his magic, Dr. Stables gently removed the black gauze from Taylor's face.
"Are you doing ok Mr. Taylor?"
"Yep, I'm doing fine. However, before you remove the bandages, I must ask; what am I going to see?"
The doctor looked over some of his notes. "Well, from what I know from my studies of flash-burn, first, you'll probably only see darkness. Then, as the light begins to hit your eyes, you'll see it, but then everything will just be light. Eventually, things will come into view, but everything will be blurry. Your eyes may hurt during this time, for which we have eyedrops for. Eventually, everything might come back into focus, however, only you would be able to tell us how much into focus you can see things."
Taylor nodded. "I understand doctor. Also, hey James?"
"Yeah Taylor?"
"What's the date and time?"
"Oh, well, today is Friday, December 14th, 1945, and the time is now 4:22am."
"Ok, thank you James. It's good to know that. Anyway, back to the matter at hand, you may proceed doctor."
The doctor nodded, however, just before he removed the bandages from Taylor's eyes, he paused for a moment. "Um, Mr. Taylor, when I do remove the bandages, I want you to tell me about what you see, so that I can take notes."
After taking a few breaths, Taylor was ready. "Ok then doctor, I'm ready whenever you are."
"Ok, I'm ready too, and I have my notes, so here we go, the bandages are coming off!"
With that, and as gently as he could, Dr. Stables removed the bandages, and Taylor's eyes were once again exposed to open air. Also, another of the doctor's suspicions was confirmed. All around Taylor's eyes, the skin was dark purple, almost black.
"Gosh", the doctor thought, He really does look just like a raccoon. If that doesn't heal on its own, which I don't think it will, I'm probably going to ask around, and see if I could find Taylor the right shade of makeup to help disguise that."
Once the bandages were off, Taylor opened his eyes.
"Do, do you see anything yet Mr. Taylor?"
"Yes, I do. I can see light. It's bright, and it seems to be white, most likely indicating that it's from an artificial source."
"Can you see me yet Taylor?" Redheart asked softly.
"Not yet Miss Redheart, however, I maybe can just make out dim shapes."
"Can you describe them?"
"Yes, They're grayish, and if I had to guess, they're the ceiling tiles."
After a few moments, Taylor suddenly sat up, and rubbed his eyes. His eyes were watering a bit, but for the longest time, Taylor said nothing. Eventually, he stopped rubbing his eyes.
"Do, do you see anything Taylor?"
In response, Taylor turned to Redheart. "Hey Miss Redheart, it's so nice to 'see' you again!" He then laughed a bit at his own joke.
"You, you can see me?"
"Of course! My eyes are still adjusting a bit, and if you don't believe me, I can see that you haven't brushed your mane in a while, your nurse's cap is sitting on the table next to James, James is wearing his leather flight jacket, and the light bulb closest to the door is burned out."
Redheart put a hoof over her mouth. "My word! You really can see again! You were unconscious when you were brought into this room, and you were always blind. There's no way that you could have known that that bulb was burned out unless you could see it!" She then hugged Taylor tightly.
Taylor hugged back. "Gosh, I really missed 'seeing' you Miss Redheart. Even though you were here in the room with me, you still seemed so far away, even if you were right next to me. Now, it feels so good to be back to normal, minus of course, my broken arm!"
"And it's so good that you can see again Taylor. I'm so happy for you. And just know right now, that even though you kinda do look like a raccoon, I love you just the same!"
"What?!" Taylor felt his face. "Look like a raccoon? What do you mean by that?!"
"What Nurse Redheart means is that because of your burns Mr. Taylor, the skin around your eyes was badly discolored. It's now a purplish-black. Sadly, I don't think that it's going to heal on its own. However, you need not fret. I'm going to look into getting you some makeup, so that the burns will not be noticeable anymore."
Taylor still couldn't believe what he was hearing, so he asked for a mirror so that he could see for himself. Redheart got one for him, and sure enough, the skin all around his eyes was indeed a dark, purplish-black.
"Oh gosh! I really do look just like a raccoon! This is awful! Taylor the Raccoon! That's what Ponies are going to call me from now on!"
"There, there" Redheart comforted, "It's not so bad. Look on the bright side. Your sight has been restored, and you're in no real pain. Plus, the flesh wound is only superficial. Like the doctor said, the right shade of makeup will make the burns all but invisible."
Taylor nodded. "Yeah, I guess you're right. There's far worse things than having a raccoon face. I could still be blind!"
Redheart hugged him again. "That's the spirit Taylor!"
"Yeah, and this whole bit has been nice and all, but if I don't get at least a little bit more sleep, I'm going to be too tired to tell Miss Flutters all about my business plan, so if all of you don't mind, I'm going to get a few more hours of sleep." James then got up to leave the room.
"Ok, goodbye James, I'm glad that you could be here."
"It was no problem Taylor. You were always there for me, so how could I do any less for you? Anyway, I'll come back later and see how you're doing."
"Ok, goodbye James."
"Goodbye."
Later that afternoon, James found himself once again on the streets of Ponyville. He had all of his notes, drawings, and sketches in a saddlebag that the hospital staff had loaned him, and he was now searching for Miss Flutters's address. He was not having much success.
"Um, excuse me, but could you please tell me where a Miss Flutters lives?"
Most ponies just stared at him blankly.
"Miss Who?"
"I've never heard of her."
"Sorry, I'm not sure who you're referring to."
This went on for almost an hour. Nopony seemed to even know who Miss Flutters even was.
"Gosh", James thought to himself, "If I didn't have confirmation from Nurse Redheart, I would be almost certain that Miss Flutters didn't even exist."
However, as he was still pondering this, a pegasus mare with yellow fur, and an orange mane and tail walked up to him. "Um, excuse me, Mr. Human?"
James turned to her. "Yes Ma'am? Oh, and my name is James. Ensign William James, but you can just call me James."
"Oh, well then, Mr. James? Were you the one who was asking around about a Miss Flutters?"
He nodded. "Yes, do you know her?"
The mare nodded. "Yes, she's a very good friend of mine. She takes care of my animals when I'm out of town."
"Do, do you know where she lives?"
The mare nodded. "Yes, as a matter of fact I do. She lives in a small cottage outside of town."
"And how do I get there?"
The mare pointed down the street. "Just follow this road to the edge of town, then turn right at the bridge, follow the stream for a bit, and you'll come to her cottage. It's covered in grass and flowers, and surrounded by trees, but you can't miss it."
James's face lit up. "Oh, thank you Ma'am! I'll go there right now!" He made the move to leave, but then he stopped. "Oh, and before I go, I don't believe that I caught your name."
The mare smiled. "Oh, my name is Flare. Lightning Flare."
"Nice to meet you Miss Flare." He shook her hoof.
"Nice to meet you to Mr. James, however, it isn't 'Miss' Flare, it's 'Mrs.'"
"Oh, well then, I apologize, Mrs. Flare, I didn't know."
She nodded. "it's ok Mr. James. Anyway, it was nice to meet you. I'm heading back to Cloudsdale now, but hopefully I'll see you around again sometime. It would be nice to finally get to meet Mr. Taylor."
James smiled. "Well, if I see you again Mrs. Flare, I'll be sure to introduce you to Mr. Taylor."
Mrs. Flare nodded. "Yes, that would be nice. See you around Mr. James!"
"Goodbye Mrs. Flare."
Lighting Flare then took off towards Cloudsdale, and James continued on his way as well.
"Well, that was certainly nice of her. She knows Miss Flutters, and she pointed me in the right direction. She was really nice. I'll have to tell Taylor about her."
And with that, James continued on his way.
About 15 minutes later, James reached what he believed was his destination. Up on a small hill, close to the Everfree Forest, he spotted a small cottage. This cottage was covered in grass, and had some trees around it as well. Also all around were birdhouses, bird feeders, birdbaths, small baskets of nuts and acorns, as well as a number of birds, and small animals scurrying around as well.
"Wow", James said as he got closer, "This place is definitely owned by somepony who really cares for animals."
Also as he got closer, he wondered what Miss Flutters was like. Would she be nice, or not? Nurse Redheart had held her in a very high regard, but what was she really like? Was she old, or was she young? What did she look like?
After walking for another minute or so, James found himself at the front door of the cottage. The smell of animals almost overwhelmed him.
"Oh gosh! That's really strong!" He felt like he could throw up. "I certainly hope that Miss Flutters isn't like a crazy cat lady, or anything like that!"
After gathering together his courage, James knocked on the cottage door. At first, he heard nothing, so he knocked again.
"Hello? Miss Flutters? Are you home?"
Suddenly, there came a strange sound from the other side of the door. It sounded like something scratching at it, something big.
"What in the......?"
James never got a chance to finish that thought. Just before he could, part of the door opened, and something large, and furry leaped out at him!
"AAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!" James screamed.
The big thing knocked him about five feet back, and he skidded another two before coming to a stop.
"Great, I've stopped. Now then what.....?"
Again, James failed to finish that thought. This time though, it was because he looked up, and got a better look at the creature that had attacked him, and when he saw what it was, he froze in sheer fear. The creature, was a massive wolf! It was all white, and it had red eyes! It was much, much bigger than a wolf back on Earth, and it was standing over James, staring down at him. It's mouth was open, revealing all of its teeth. James was frozen in fear. The wolf then leaned it's head down, and seemingly went for his neck.
James had a final fleeting thought. "So this is how it all ends. I survive the Bermuda Triangle, only to die by a wolf in Equestria while coming to a cottage to pitch a business proposal! Jeezums!"
Then the wolves's teeth made contact with him, and he screamed. "AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
His scream was met by a lot of wolf-slobber.
"MISSY! YOU GET OFF OF THAT POOR HUMAN RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!!!"
The wolf heard the voice, stopped messing with James, and stood up.
"Now then, you leave him alone! Bad girl Missy!"
The wolf, Missy, hung her head in shame. She then got off of James, and walked to a spot a few yards away, and sat down. The female that the voice belonged to then went over to see if James was hurt. He was lying in the ground in a fetal position, mumbling insensibly.
"I'm dead......I died.......I'm dead, I'm so dead.....!!!"
"Um, excuse me, Mr. Taylor? Are you alright?"
James stopped. "Huh?" He thought, "Taylor? I'm not Taylor." He then opened his eyes, and standing above him, he saw a Pegasus mare with yellow fur, a purplish-pink mane, and blue eyes. Her cutie-mark was also of a pawprint.
"Um, M-Miss Flutters, I presume?"
She nodded. "That's right Mr. Taylor. And I'm really sorry about Missy. She can get pretty excited sometimes. Um, She didn't hurt you, did she?"
James looked himself over. "Well Miss Flutters, aside from some minor cuts and scrapes, as well as apparantly having been slobbered on, I feel ok. Oh, and I'm not Taylor. My name is James. Ensign William James, but you can just call me James."
"Oh, I'm sorry Mr. James, I thought that you were Mr. Taylor. From a distance, you looked like him, and you're wearing almost the same outfit that he was wearing when he crashed here. However, he had brown hair, not reddish hair like you do. It's a pleasure to meet you." She shook his hoof.
"Likewise." James shook her hoof. He then looked over towards Mia. "So, that's Missy?"
Flutters nodded. "Yes, that's Missy." Flutters then whistled, and Missy came trotting up to her.
"Can, can I pet her?"
"Sure. She's actually very friendly. My door wasn't locked, and since I really don't get very many visitors, Missy jumped at the chance to meet you. Before I could stop her, she'd opened up the door, and pounced on you. She then proceeded to slobber all over you until I stopped her."
James nodded, before petting Missy gently. She almost seemed to be purring in response to James's petting.
"Gosh, she's really pretty. What kind of wolf is she?"
She's a Mountain Timberwolf. She's very special."
"And why is that?" Also, why does she have red eyes?"
Flutters smiled. "She has red eyes, because she's actually an albino wolf."
James was very surprised. "What? She's an albino?"
"Yes, that's why she looks the way that she does. If she wasn't albino, her fur would most likely be black, and she would have yellow eyes. I found her as a pup, and I raised her. She's always been very special to me."
"I've also been told that you really like animals Miss Flutters."
She nodded. "Yes, I always have. From a very young age, I was always fascinated with them. Ever since I moved to Ponyville, I made it my life's mission to take care of sick and wounded animals. I've done such a fine job, that some ponies have brought their pets to me to take care of while they leave for a while. I may not be a veterinarian, but I'm the next best thing!"
James then decided to ask her about his business plan. "Um, Miss Flutters, I'm going to ask you a question. This question may be a sensitive topic for you, but if I'm going to restart a small side-business that I had going back on Earth, then I have to know the answer."
Flutters looked at him curiously. "What, is the question Mr. James?"
James took a deep breath. "Well, in your entire time taking care of animals, have you seen any of them, well, um, d-die?"
Flutters was taken aback by his question. "W-what? Wh-why would you ask that?"
James sighed. "Because, back on Earth, my small side business was making tiny coffins and tombstones so that my customers could give their pets a proper sendoff. I was very good at what I did, and I received a lot of thanks for my customers."
Now Flutters's confusion gave way to surprise. "W-what? You, m-made deceased pets coffins and tombstones? W-why?"
James then told her the same story that he'd told Taylor and Redheart.
".....And so that's where everything currently stands. Miss Redheart told me to come see you, as perhaps you could tell me if there would be a market for anything like this here in Equestria."
For the longest time, Flutters looked at the ground. Finally, she sighed, and looked up at James. "Well Mr. James, to answer the question you asked first, yes, I have seen animals under my care die, and it has saddened me greatly. I buried them as best I could, but not like how you have done. I see now what may be your calling Mr. James."
Now it was James's turn to look at her curiously. "And what would that be, Miss Flutters?"
"Well, since you seem to have a passion for doing this, I can tell you that yes, there is a small market for this here in Ponyville. I could see you as being the kind of person that could maybe even run a small pet cemetery for residents of Ponyville, as well as the surrounding area."
James was very surprised. He didn't think that there even would be a market for anything like this in Equestria. Finally, he said, "Um, wow. That would, be, well amazing if it would all work out. Also, I brought along a number of drawings, sketches, and plans for a small business like this. Would, um, y-you like to see them?"
Flutters nodded. "Certainly Mr. James. You can bring them inside my cottage. Maybe you would prefer to talk about this over tea?"
James nodded. "Certainly Miss Flutters, that sounds like it would be very nice."
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a good chapter.
discord made me do it.
This is bad for two reasons.
1. A doctor would never promise anything with certainty like this. This is an invitation for a lawsuit. Or, if not that, it's a way to make many people think you're a bad doctor. He would say "we hope so." or "There is a positive prognosis" or "hopefully".
2. MORE IMPORTANTLY: This is taking the drama away. Remember how I said that's the worst thing to do? You just told us how the scene is going to end. Even if we understand on a deeper level the chances of you making your character permanently blind are near-zero, you could still hold us in suspense before we saw this line. Now I feel like I can skim the scene and not read, because you told me how it's gonna end before I even get there.
This is deflating the tension. Only do that AFTER the scene is over.
I'm only quoting this part for brevity, but really I'm talking about the doctor's answer.
YOU JUST DEFLATED THE TENSION AGAIN. You just told me what Taylor will see before it happens. Even if it's a sensible question for him to ask, it would be much better for you to have the doctor answer in an ambiguous way. Like "It's different for every patient. I've never had someone burned like you. Why don't you tell me what you see?"
We want to experience the story through Taylor. We don't want to be _told_ the story before it happens. #lame
:angryface: Did you put this in here just to see if I actually read your chapters? Yes, I'm still reading. And yes, this is awful. This question makes no sense and the answer is not how a human would answer.
Someone who's afraid they might be blind for life does not ask for the DATE AND TIME IN THE MIDDLE OF THEIR DAMN OPERATION! a;ljgl;fsagjfdlg
Sorry, I think I just had a seizure.
You want to deflate the drama some more? Have him compliment the paint on the wall next time. Or maybe interrupt the tense action scene to have the characters watch grass grow for a few hours.
This relates to a fairly simple concept, though it's not necessarily intuitive. Basically: Character attention leads reader attention. Or put another way: when you write something, that's a message to us it's important. Putting in unimportant stuff makes the reader trust you less.
Arbitrary. The spell healed third degree burns but not this. #inconsistant
'Miss Redheart'. Aren't they close enough for him not to use titles? Isn't this an emotional and intimate moment? Why does he sound so formal?
Yikes. Awkward titles have become a plot point now. At least they're strangers, but it seems pretty rare for random pones to use in Equestria. At least based on the show.
AGAHH EVERYONE IN THE WHOLE WORLD USES TITLES WHYHYYYYYYYY. At first I didn't notice, but now it sticks out like a blister in every line of dialogue.
If it wasn't for that I would've thought this was actually some clever dialogue. You almost got some extra credit points, but I take them away for robot talk.
EXTRA CREDIT! YOU DIDN'T WASTE OUR TIME!
Also, one of my editors wants me to ask why you always identify as a wolf in your author's notes if your name is scarFOX. This appears to be a very sensitive subject for him.
8578975
*puts hands over face*
No, just, please, no. James is working on a pet CEMETERY, not a pet Sematary.
*suddenly gets idea from this*
I'm going against my better judgement, but, well, let's just say that people with PTSD and severe anxiety issues, and creepy cemeteries, don't mix!
8579372
Hello Starscribe.
Well, I see that we have a lot to cover, so let's get to it.
First of all, it the doctor didn't promise anything. If you read it all, it said. "Well, to an extent. Remember, the optometrists said that your eyes will never again quite be what they once were. You will be able to see, however, we won't know for sure how well until the bandages are removed." The doctor didn't promise anything, however, as revealed earlier by the two optometrists, Taylor would be able to see again, however, it was unclear how well he would, until he fully regained his sight. It's not really deflating. I said that Taylor would see, I never said how well.
Next, this was what usually happened when PONIES regained their eyesight after being temporarily blind. Taylor is a human, so the doctor gave it his best guess. This is why he asked Taylor to tell him what he saw, so that notes could be taken to update the records.
Yes, I did this for you to make sure that you were paying attention. 😏 However, on a more serious note, only the gauze had been removed, the bandages were still over Taylor's eyes. Just before the real operation began, Taylor decided to ask James about this, just so he would know, as it can be rather difficult for a blind person to tell time by Earth standards while in a hospital in Ponyville.
*note to self* Be careful with dialog and wording, as my readers may lose trust in me*
Like I said before, that spell couldn't do everything. Taylor still has a broken arm, and his eyesight will never again be what it once was. He also looks like a raccoon. Why? Because the healing spell couldn't fix everything. The vast majority was restored to Taylor, but not all of it.
Also, like I said before, this is just a part of Taylor's personality; he calls all females "Miss", "Mrs." or whatever their title may be. I do have a plan to change this now, but as I see it, a rut well traveled, can be hard to get out of.
Please remember, this story takes place 60 years before the events of MLP FIM start. In that time, two whole generations passed. Things were different back in Taylor's time, and things changed as time went on. I think that I may have subtly hinted at this, but maybe I didn't, I can't remember. The point is, over that 60 year gap, Ponies began to drop titles, and just use names. This will be highlighted much more in the sequel to Bermuda Beginnings, but for now, it's going to be a mixture of Ponies/Taylor and James who use titles, and those who don't.
*sees that I could have gotten extra-credit for humor* "All around me are familiar faces........"
*Sees that I did get extra-credit for keeping it to the point* "Because I'm Happy......"
Lastly, yes, I can explain this. However, the truth is, as I explained in one of my blogs, after I finish this story and its two sequels, the story then becomes all about ScarFox, aka, The Author, aka, well, Yours Truly. (Yes, I'm not only my own OC, but I'm also my own main character as well.) The story of the origins of Scarfox's name come from the second book of the Wolfentein Chronicles, which is still in the works for actual publication, as it does not contain Ponies. However, the full story of why I'm a Wolf, named ScarFox, is actually going to be a story in-and-of-itself. After I finish the third book, "A Bridge Between the Worlds", Taylor's story comes to it's final conclusion, and then ScarFox steps in as the main character. This story will be a catch up, explaining key pieces from the entire Wolfentein Chronicles, as much of it will be heavily referenced from then on. However, if you cannot wait that long, then here's the answer. In a nutshell, every Wolf has an inner name, or, the name of their inner Wolf-Spirit. My name, is Nosprit. translated, from Wolf-Speak, (the native language of all Wolves) this means the "Scarred-Fox", or ScarFox. This name was made to make sense after an accident involving a miss-thrown frag-grenade, caused a massive scar over ScarFox's left eye. (I would explain more here, but I really don't want to spoil too much from that tie-up story. I hope that this is sufficient enough for now, and if it isn't, just let me know.)
Also, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, why did your editor want to know this?
8581078
I don't usually respond to these comments, because stories don't get to defend themselves in the comments. You get the text on the page, and nothing else. If it isn't in the prose, it isn't true.
I'm making an exception for this specific comment, since it indicates you did not understand my remark:
I am not making a criticism of Taylor. This is a criticism of EVERYONE IN YOUR STORY. If it was a vocal tick of just one person I'd consider it part of their personality. But read one of these chapters. Basically, everyone we ever encounter uses proper titles for those they meet, instead of the natural way of speaking. In particular with adults who are equals in social status.
I think my editor wanted to know because your name is different from the role you've been playing, that's all. Editors are all about finding inconsistencies.
8581100
Hello Starscribe.
*suddenly realizes that this is far more than just a worn out rut.* Well, I see now that I just opened a box of bouncy balls inside of a room full of trampolines. One wrong move, sends everything reverberating off of the walls in all directions. I've tried to explain this, but I see now that my point maybe didn't fully get across, or that something was lost in translation. Instead of arguing my point, I'll put it this way; I see now that this is a serious issue that needs to be worked on, UNLESS, like I said before, this whole story is an Alternate Universe. Things happen differently here than in the real show. Maybe this is one of those things? At least until a few more decades roll by? If this answer does not satisfy you, then I guess that all I can say is that this is something that I need to work on, and will start on in Chapter 34, which should be out sometime before 6am.
*takes the wrench, and pulls it out of my story writing gears.* Hmm, a good wrench. I'll give this to Spitfire. Maybe she'll find a use for it. In the meantime, limit my "Mr.'s", "Miss's", and "Mrs.'s", as well as proper titles, to just Taylor, and James, and only when necessary.