Chapter 11: Dinner, Small-Talk, and Masculine Stupidity
After Taylor had washed all of the grease oil, rust, as well as minor burn marks, and changed back into his pilot's uniform, he walked with Celestia up to dinner in the banquet hall. The doctor and the two nurses were already up there, and they stood up when Celestia entered.
"Where were you all afternoon, Mr. Taylor?" Redheart asked.
"Hmm? Oh, I was in the castle basement trying to help Celestia's engineers to put my plane back together."
"What?! Your plane is here?! But, how?!"
"Well, after we left for Canterlot, Celestia told me that she had her best ponies for the job come to Ponyville, package it up, and bring it to Canterlot so that it could be studied, and possibly even repaired."
Redheart was very curious now.
"So what do you think, can it be repaired?"
Taylor shrugged. "I still don't know for sure. We will repair it as best we can, but whether or not it will be able to fly again still remains to be seen. The propeller is mangled beyond repair, the engine still needs work, the glass cockpit canopy will have to be replaced, the bodywork is a body-shop's worst nightmare, and I don't have any gasoline or oil for it."
"Um, what's gasoline?"
Taylor was rather surprised that Nurse Starlight would take an interest in the plane, but he answered her question nevertheless.
"Gasoline is a combustible fuel that most vehicles on Earth use to power their engines. Along with motor oil, t's the lifeblood of an airplane, that's for sure!"
Starlight thought about this for a moment. "Well, we do have plenty of oil, both for cooking, and for our machines, but I don't think that we have any 'gasoline'."
"Hmm. Well then, I guess that we'll just have to try and distill some then. Moonshine might be sufficient enough to be a base element. Does anypony know where I might find any of that here in Equestria?"
The doctor looked at him with a look of deep concern. "The only place around here that you'll find anything like moonshine would be Sweet Apple Acres."
Taylor was curious. "Sweet Apple Acres? What's that? Is it a farm?"
"It's an apple tree farm outside of Ponyville", the doctor spat. "It's run by the Apple Family, one of the largest families in Equestria for that matter."
"They sound so nice, but it sounds like you don't like them very much. Why is that?" Taylor was confused.
"Because", the doctor spat again, "They're nothing but a bunch of inbred, rednecked hillbillies, and they're a disgrace to our community! Sure, they provide our towns and cities with the best apples that you've ever seen, but at the cost of teaching our colts and fillies that it's ok to have foals with their brothers and sisters!"
"Now doctor!" Starlight interjected, "There is absolutely no proof to back up ANY of your accusations. The Apples are just a large family who have more down-home, home-style values than those of higher society. Family always comes first for them. Plus, only one branch of the family lives on Sweet Apple Acres, the rest live in Manehattan, and other towns and cities across Equestria. I've been down to Sweet Apple Acres many times. All of them are the nicest folk that you'll ever meet. They're so polite and kind, friendly, and they give great deals to long-time customers."
Redheart turned to Taylor while this whole argument was going on. "What do you think Taylor?"
"I think that the Apples all sound like very nice folk. I'd like to see Sweet Apple Acres for myself when I get back to Ponyville. Maybe they could help me with my fuel problem."
All while this conversation/argument was going on, Celestia was standing off to the side, listening to what was being said. Finally, she decided that enough was enough, and with that, she strode up to her seat at the table, and using her magic, she picked up a spoon, and used it to tap on a glass to get everypony's and Taylor's attention.The argument immediately stopped, and all eyes were on the princess, waiting to see what she had to say.
"Well, now that I have you all's attention, I would like to ask all of you a simple question, Who's hungry and ready to eat?"
Taylor and the medical staff looked at each other, then back at their princess.
"We all are!" Taylor answered for the group.
"Excellent!" Celestia then clapped her hooves. "Head Waiter?"
A unicorn with a black waiter's uniform stepped forwards. "Yes my princess?"
"Please bring out the food for our guests."
"As you wish, my princess."
He then clapped his hooves, and a few moments later, 6 ponies all dressed in chef uniforms appeared, pushing carts with covered silver platters on them.
"It all smells so good", Taylor commented, "And I bet that it tastes even better!"
"I bet that it does too!" Redheart was just as excited as Taylor was.
A few moments later, once all of the chefs were at their posts, several other waiters appeared, and they set out all of the chargers, napkins, plates, silverware, and glasses, as well as candelabrum, candles, and baskets for bread. Once that was complete, they stepped back, and the chefs then came forwards, and set all of the trays on the table. While everything was being set up, Taylor said a quick blessing for the food.
Once he was finished, and at Celestia's command, the lids were lifted off of the trays and platters, and everypony and Taylor gasped in delight. It was certainly a feast to behold. There were soups, cheeses, bowls of mashed potatoes, green beans, fresh corn, steamed carrots, bread pudding, other puddings, cakes, other dishes that Taylor had never see before, and of course, several bottles of various fine wines.
To Taylor's slight surprise, there were no meats, nor any other such proteins. "Because ponies are herbivores, and as such, they can't eat meat, or it would kill them." Taylor thought to himself.
There were so many dishes to choose from that Taylor and the two nurses hardly knew where to start! Only the doctor seemed to be used to eating a banquet like that.
Dinner passed with your usual amount of small talk and light conversations. Towards the end of the meal however, Taylor suddenly rose, and tapped his glass for attention. Everypony looked at him curiously, wondering what he was going to say. Once the whole table was quiet, and all eyes were on him, Taylor took a deep breath, and then he spoke.
"Your Majesty, Head Doctor, Assistant Nurses", he began, "I would just like to say, thank you. Thank you to you, Miss Redheart, for finding me, and taking care of me when I first arrived here. Thank you to you, Dr. Stables, for allowing me to stay in your hospital to be studied, as well as cared for. Thank you to you, Nurse Starlight, for assisting the doctor in everything that he does. And last, but certainly not least, I would like to extend my greatest thanks to you, Princess Celestia, for not only bringing me to Equestria, thereby saving my life, but also for transporting my plane to Canterlot, calling me here to Canterlot so that I could meet you, but most of all," he continued, Thank you for allowing me to stay here in your incredible realm." He then raised his glass. "A toast, to the good health of all of you, to the prosperity of Equestria, and most of all, a toast to the God who made all of this possible!"
"Cheers!" They all cried as they clinked their glasses together in unison.
After dinner was over, Taylor and Redheart were standing just outside of the banquet hall, talking a bit, when they were suddenly joined by a guard.
"Hello Mr. Taylor."
Taylor saw that it was the guard that he talked to earlier, Tinker Armor. "Hello Tinker, and you can just call me Taylor. So what brings you over here?"
"Oh, well, I just got off duty a few minutes ago, and I wanted to come back and find you to see how you were doing. So how are you doing? Is everything going ok for you?"
Taylor nodded. "Yes, everything is going just fine. I really think that I'm going to enjoy life here in Equestria."
"And weren't you some kind of soldier yourself, or something?"
"Yes, I was in the Navy. I was a Naval Aviator, or rather, a pilot. I flew fighter planes, and later trained and instructed others in their use as well."
Tinker gave him a funny look. "Huh, so a navy-pony huh? Well then, let me be the first to tell you, us Royal Guards are superior to all of you 'tin can sailors', and 'flyboys' in every way!"
Taylor cocked his head to the side. "Is that a challenge I smell Tinker?"
He smirked. "I dunno, you tell me Flyboy!"
Taylor closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he was smirking as well. "Oh, it's so on, 'Goldie'! Anything that you can do, I can match you, and more!"
Tinker laughed. "You?! A human navy pilot, versus a Royal Guard stallion? You'd better be ready for an ass-whooping that you'd never forget! So a competition it is then?"
"Only if you're ready to lose!"
They then agreed to a series of contests to prove who was the best. These included strength tests, speed runs, war-trivia, and of course, the old soldier favorite, arm wrestling. A few other off-duty guards decided to join in on the fun as well. Then, with Celestia as the judge, and with the doctor and two nurses on standby in case anypony or Taylor got hurt, they all got down to business.
First, the speed runs. Taylor really should have thought that through better. There was just no way that a human could outrun a pony. He placed last, although not by a lot.
"Ok Tinker, you've won this round, but watch yourself, cuz I'm coming!"
Next up, came the strength tests. This should have been another easy victory for Tinker and his 4 guards. However, Taylor was a lot stronger than he looked. They were able to move heavier loads, but Taylor was able to move his load farther, and in a shorter span of time. The contest was declared a victory for Taylor.
"I'll give this to you, Flyboy, you're gonna be harder to beat than I thought. You're pretty good for a human."
Taylor smiled. "Thanks Goldie, you're not so bad yourself."
Next up, war trivia. Since Taylor was completely green in this, he was given a war manual to look through to find the answers. A few questions about the US Navy were even asked as well. Overall, it ended in a tie.
Now all that was left, was the manliest, or stallionliest, contest of them all, armwrestling, or hoofwrestling. A wooden crate was set down in the middle of the hallway, with smaller boxes to act as seats. This contest was certainly a sight to behold! Somehow, Taylor was able to beat all of the stallions he faced. One after the other, they came, sat down, and got beat. Over and over again, Taylor showed them who the real boss was. However, Taylor was really starting to run out of steam. Finally, it was just him, against the cream of the crop, Captain Tinker Armor. (Yes, the future grandfather of Shining Armor. And, called "Tinker" for always tinkering with his armor to improve it.)
This was it, the final round. The best of the best pitted against each other. The honor and dignity of the US Navy, and the greatness of America, Earth, and the entire Human Race, rested squarely on Taylor's shoulders. The honor of the Royal Guards, and the greatness of Equestria, and the Pony-Race, rested solely on Tinker's. They both took their positions on the opposite sides of the wooden crate.
"You ready to finally be beaten Taylor?"
"Not if I can help it Tinker. But even if I do lose, I lost to the best, and plus, second place isn't all that bad."
"Yeah, but it would be nice to be number one, wouldn't it?"
"Yeah, and that's why we're here, isn't it? To prove who's the best?"
"Yeah, so let's get to it!"
Tinker then wrapped his hoof around Taylor's hand, and Taylor gripped his hoof with his hand as hard as he could.
"Come on Taylor, you can do it!" Redheart cheered.
"You've got this Captain Armor! You show that human who's boss!"
"Ready to go Tinker?" Taylor asked
"Only if you're ready to lose Taylor!" Tinker replied smugly.
At Celestia's signal, they both went at it like an unstoppable force meeting an immovable object. They were both visibly straining, sweating, panting, grunting, groaning, and even slightly cussing as they tried to slam their opponent's hoof/hand onto the crate. 10 minutes went by, and still no winner had been decided. by 15 minutes, everypony was still cheering for the contestants, but unfortunately, nopony was paying attention to the structural integrity of the crate that the match was taking place on. it was strong and good when the match started, but as time wore on, with human and stallions sweating and straining on top of it, it began to severely weaken. The longer the matches wore on, the weaker it became. by the time that it got to Taylor vs. Tinker, the crate had several large cracks in it, was sagging on top, and was drenched in sweat.
Finally, after almost 20 minutes of Tinker vs. Taylor, the crate had all it could take, and after emitting a series of cracks and groans, it collapsed completely. Both contenders fell to the right, and both Taylor and Tinker fell onto the marble floor. Their limbs were still locked together, and both of them were so exhausted, that neither of them had the strength to finish the match.
"Let's.......*pant, pant*......call....*gasp*......it a....*pant*......tie."
Taylor had just enough breath in his lungs to give a reply. "Yeah.....*pant*.....let's,,,,,*pant*....do that."
Once he had a bit more breath back, Tinker asked, "So, um, Taylor? Does this mean that we can be friends now? I mean, you are a human, and I'm a stallion, but we can still be friends, right?"
Taylor nodded. "Sure. It would be nice to have a guy friend in a world full of mares. If that's what you want, then I'll be your friend, sure."
And that made it official. Tinker and Taylor, the beginning of a life-long friendship. Of course, the night was still young. There was still much more to do before going to bed.
Stats
Page generated in 0.041 seconds
Total duration
1,025 users online
133,016 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
"Because", the doctor spat again, "They're nothing but a bunch of inbred, rednecked hillbillies, and they're a disgrace to our community! Sure, they provide our towns and cities with the best apples that you've ever seen, but at the cost of teaching our colts and fillies that it's ok to have foals with their brothers and sisters!"
- Uh oh, my "Mary Sue" senses are tingling again. The only character who doesn't like the protaganist is a huge jerk. This is one of the strongest signs of a mary sue. Danger, danger will robenson!
"He then clapped his hands, and a few moments later, 6 ponies all dressed in chef uniforms appeared, pushing carts with covered silver platters on them."
The unciron waiter has hands? That's freaky.
"It was certainly a feast to behold."
This is a kind of line to avoid. You've just told us how to think... instead of using description to show all the wonderful things in the feast. You tell us in the very next line just _why_ it was a feast to behold, so why not just leave it at that? This is common writing advice you may've heard before, "show, don't tell." In your next line, you did show us, so no need to tell us first.
"Because ponies are herbivores, and as such, they can't eat meat, or it would kill them." Taylor thought to himself.
Talor is wrong on many fronts. First, herbivores wouldn't die if they ate meat, they just wouldn't want to eat it. And maybe they would get queezy and/or be unable to digest their food. They might puke, they might starve very slowly over time if they kept trying it.
Tinker gave him a funny look. "Huh, so a navy-pony huh? Well then, let me be the first to tell you, us Royal Guards are superior to all of you 'tin can sailors', and 'flyboys' in every way!"
-How would the guard know what a 'tin can sailor' or a 'flyboy' even is? Particularly the last one. They're concepts that just don't exist in Equestria. A naval pilot probably sounds like a contradiction to him, given that their equivalent of air force ponies are the wonderbolts, which wouldn't have anything to do with the navy. Which they probably don't have if they haven't had a war in 1000 years.
war-trivia
-Huh? They're from different worlds. Trivia makes no sense as an event. Neither of them will know each other's trivia.
Also, Celestia is there? Doesn't she have a country to run? Why the heck would she be here for a dick-waving contest?
8535546
Here we go again. Let's get started Starscribe.
First of all, I think that you misunderstand. Dr. Stables doesn't like the Apple Family, not Taylor. He's beginning to grow rather fond of Taylor, although he doesn't show it. He's heard a lot of rumors about them, and drew his conclusions from them. He's not really a jerk, just a little biased is all.
*sees second comment* "HORSEAPPLES!!!!" *fixes it* "Whew! That was too close! Any more slip-ups like that, and ponies will start to think that I'm not a real Brony!
Sorry about that. Like I said before, I can get rather OCD with my writing. I tend to create lengthy descriptions on things to paint as vivid of a picture for my audience as I can.
When I say "they", I mean the ponies, not herbivores in general. Plus, Taylor is a Navy pilot just after WW2. He's not a scientist, doctor, veterinarian, or even a farmer. He wouldn't know any better. Please cut him some slack.
Ok, it's Terminology Origin Time! A "Tin Can Sailor" is what Royal Guards call ponies who serve in the navy, as their warships have some metal armor on them, which shines like a polished tin can, hence the name. A "Flyboy" is a slang term for a Wonderbolt. Tinker heard what Taylor described himself as, and in his mind, he put the two together. He also sees both of these fields as a joke, so he thought that Taylor's military experience must be a joke as well.
Yes, this is why the War-trivia ended in a tie. Both the Royal Guards and Taylor failed miserably at learning each other's trivia.
And, like I said before, she would pop in and out as her schedule would allow. Also, a dick-waving contest? WTF?! I specifically said HOOF-WRESTLING! Or, as we humans would call it, Arm-wrestling.
Quoting the chapter name
Masculine Stupidity wow just wow.
9229657
Hello Trixiecat,
And yes, I see their contests of strength as stupid. However, on the flipside, I would probably do the same thing in Taylor's position, so I can't really be a hypocrite here. I needed a chapter name, so I came up with that one on the spot.