Once upon a time, in the magical land of Equestria, there lived a race of beautiful ponies; ranging from Earth Ponies, to Unicorns, and even Pegasai. They were all ruled over by the lovely Princess Celestia. They also all lived in peace and harmony without any war, for the past 945 years. After the whole "Nightmare Moon Incident" had ended, all of the ponies of the land went back to living their lives as normal. Normally, without knowing that one day in the not too distant future, their lives were going to be changed forever.
In December of the Earth-Year 1945, a strange creature that stood on two legs crashed landed inside the Everfree Forest inside a giant, blue, metal machine of sorts. At first, he was received with fear and suspicion, but after he proved that he was harmless, they all grew to love him very much. The creature's name was Charles Taylor, and he was a lieutenant in the US Navy during, and just after the Second World War.
His life in Equestria was one of great intrigue. I mean, how many people, or ponies even, would ever expect an 86 year old human, and 6 barely teenaged ponies to save all of Equestria? I know, it sounds crazy. But they really did it. How did they do it you ask? Well then, to answer that question, let's dive right into Taylor's story, starting all the way back, At Fort Lauderdale, Florida, on December 5th, 1945......
So, going through this story one chapter at a time. (might take me awhile, so don't expect these very fast). First chapter--this reads like it belongs in the story description, not as a chapter. I suspect this has put off many readers--we expect the narrative to start immediately, but this isn't narrative, this is telling us what we're about to read.
I suggest putting as much of this as you feel you need to into the story's long description, not as a chapter.
8511775
Agreed
Agreed
Btw still thinking of ideas for a oc
..... wow
9165534
Yeah. This was my very first story, and sadly, due to problems with how I did certain things, the story sadly failed. It’s going to need a re-write at some point, and I need to think a few things through better. Feel free to read what’s here right now though. It’ll be an interesting read, I hope.
I um... I don’t know what to say about this beginning, it grabs my attention like an introduction should but reads like a discription... umm guess I’ll continue reading
9454802
Hello Ravencell,
And this was my very first story. It started out ok, but due to a few serious mistakes that I made, (namely bringing in religion) doomed it. It was a great idea, and it has a solid frame, but sometime in the future, the story WILL need a total overhaul. I hope that you enjoy how much I've written of it so far though.