Chapter 41: Flight to Bermuda, Soul Searching, and Not Your Average Day
Taylor tried to sleep on it that night, but even in his dreams, all he could see, was himself standing at a crossroads.
"One path leads to life in Equestria, the other leads to home. James already made his choice, now it's time for me to make mine."
As he continued to lay in his bed, he continued to think about the pros and cons of both staying in, and leaving Equestria.
"Well, for benefits, I would still be working with Fledgling Aeronautics, I would still have all of my friends here, as well as Redheart, James, Princess Celestia, and others. The only real cons that I can think of, would be the fact that those back on Earth would never know what happened to us, and worst of all, my mother believes that I'm dead. If I never go home, then that means that I'll never be able to see her again.
If I went back to Earth, I would have to leave everything behind that I've helped do in the past almost 4 months. I'd also most likely never be able to return. On the plus side though, I would be able to tell Flight 19's story, and see my mother again. Also, there is the possibility of a court-martial, both due to my being AWOL all this time, and losing my squad-mates.
God, why do decisions like this have to be so tough?! Why?!"
Taylor kept tossing and turning all night while thinking about it. He barely slept at all. However, by the time dawn broke the next morning, he knew what he was going to do.
When Taylor's alarm clock went off the next morning, he got up, brushed his teeth, combed his hair, shaved his face, and then got dressed, in his pilot's uniform.
After sighing, he went downstairs into the lower workshop. Sure enough, he was the only one there.
"Hmm, I guess that the others are either still asleep, or are getting up, or maybe eating breakfast. However, it's time for the pre-flight checklists."
Taylor then went over to his plane, and climbed up to the cockpit. "Do I really want to do this though?" He muttered to himself.
After running his checks, everything seemed in order. Taylor then sighed, and after sending a letter to Celestia, informing her of his decision to return home, he then went to the hospital, to tell James, Redheart, and Freckles that he was leaving in person.
"I still can't believe that you're going to do this Taylor."
Taylor sighed. "I really don't want to James, but it's something that I have to do. As an officer, it is my duty to face the consequences for what happened in the Triangle on December 5th."
"But what happened wasn't your fault, it wasn't anypony's fault! It was a combination of bad luck, and bad timing. Just a couple of crossed lay-lines, nothing more."
"I know Redheart, but, it's just.....ugh! It's so complicated!"
She placed a hoof gently on his shoulder. "It doesn't really have to be though Taylor. Just say that you're staying, and then we can be past this rough spot. James told me that you were ignoring me on purpose, but that you did it for a reason. Maybe not the best reason ever, but it was a reason nevertheless. I forgive you for it."
Taylor hugged her. "I know, and that's why leaving is so hard. But, it's already been scheduled. At noon today, I take off from Drywood Airbase for Fort Lauderdale. I'm going home."
Redheart nodded, but she didn't say anything. His mind seemed to be made up, but when she looked into Taylor's eyes, all she could see was fear, and uncertainty.
"Now I know that his efforts to return home really are half-hearted at best." She thought. Just before he leaves, I'll give him my letter. Maybe that'll convince him to return to Equestria."
Redheart could only hope that this would be the case.
A few hours later, close to the set time, Taylor's plane was moved from the workshop, out to Drywood Airbase. It was rolled out to the end of the runway, it's wings were unfolded, and it's brakes were set. Once this was done, Taylor then turned to the crowd that had gathered to see him off. Most of them looked to be either sad, or still in shock that he was leaving. Taylor turned to them.
"My friends, acquaintances, fellow ponies, admirers, and all others, I know why you have come out here today. You've gathered to see me on my way back to Earth. Most of you might also be asking yourselves, 'why? Why is he leaving?' Well, I'll tell you.
From the way that I see it, I am an officer, and one of only two survivors of Flight 19. It's my obligation to return, and reveal to the world what happened. It was a storm, and we ran out of fuel. I also have to go home to see my mother again."
"But, how will you explain your being missing for nearly 4 months Mr. Taylor?" Somepony asked.
"Um, well,.....that's um, something I'll have to think up on the fly. Most likely I'll say that it was a 'hiccup' between Time and Space, meaning that I entered the storm on December 5th, 1945, and exited on March 6th, 1946. A time-jump, if you will. Assuming that that makes any sense to you all of course."
Some ponies nodded, but others just looked at him confused. Taylor sighed. "I wish that I really didn't have to do this guys, really I don't, and if I didn't have the obligations, then I would reconsider, but because I do, I have to return to Earth."
"But, why can't you just return to Earth, and drop off a letter or something with your home-base, and return home?" Somepony else asked. Unfortunately, Taylor didn't hear this question due to the noise of the crowd. If he had, then maybe the further damage caused to his plane wouldn't have happened!
When the time came, it was exactly noon. As she promised, Celestia opened up a new portal to Earth.
"I opened this one in the exact same location as the one before it, so all you'll have to do is get through, and then fly home. That is, if you really want to leave. Couldn't I convince you to stay?"
Taylor hugged her. "I really wish that you could Princess. I'm going to miss you most of all. You brought me to this world, and you helped me not only with the plane, but also with the Cyclops, and most of all, you paid for my medical care while I was in the hospital. And for that, I offer you my greatest thanks."
"Goodbye, My Sunshine", she whispered.
Taylor then said goodbye to Starlight and Tinker.
"Goodbye Starlight. I'm really going to miss you. You were the best nurse that I had during my hospital stay, second only to Redheart."
She blushed a bit. "Oh, well, um, thank you, Taylor. I'm, really going to miss seeing you."
"I know. I'm going to miss seeing you too."
"And I'm going to miss you too, Flyboy."
Taylor turned to Tinker. "As am I, Tinker. It was really fun, those times that we had in Canterlot, as well as the occasional games of cards that we played when I visited the Aeronautics workshop in Canterlot."
They both hugged.
Taylor also said goodbye to all of the Airplane 8, who duly thanked him for helping them to get Fledgling Aeronautics off the ground.
"It was my genuine pleasure. It was also my thanks for you guys for helping me with my plane all of those times. I just hope that you keep it going, and one day show Equestria that they were wrong about airplanes being unsafe."
"We will Taylor", Metalwork assured him, "We will."
Finally, Taylor came to the last two that he had to say goodbye to; James, and Redheart.
"Goodbye James", Taylor said as he hugged him. "You were the best comrade that I ever had. I wish that I didn't have to leave you behind."
James sighed. "Actually Taylor, I don't think that you'll have to, at least, not for very long."
"Huh? What do you mean by that?"
"Because, I'm pretty sure that by this evening, we'll all be laughing about this over dinner at a cafe here in Ponyville, while you tell us the story about how you wanted to return home, but realized that you're life here was more important."
Taylor was surprised. "Now how in thunder do you figure that James?"
James shrugged. "I dunno. You're asking the wrong person. However, Miss Redheart might know."
Taylor turned to her. "Um, Redheart, what does he mean by this?"
Redheart reached into her saddlebags, and pulled out a letter. She then handed it to Taylor.
"Huh? What's this?"
"It's just a little something that I wrote for you. Read it once you're airborne, and then make your final decision."
Taylor looked at her curiously, then put the letter into the pocket of his jacket. He then hugged Redheart. "Goodbye, Redheart. Out of everypony, I'll only miss Celestia more than you. You were always there for me, by my side almost every minute while I was hurt, while I had my broken arm, you did all of my writing for me. Heck, you were even the first one to FIND me when I got here, and you brought me to the hospital in the first place! For all of this, I offer you my greatest thanks, and my most sincere goodbye."
Redheart hugged him back. "I know Taylor. And goodbye, at least for the next 20 minutes or so. Like James said, I'm pretty sure that dinner at a cafe here in Ponyville later on tonight would be marvelous. Oh, and you'll be back in time for lunch at your workshop, right?" Redheart smirked a bit.
Taylor looked at her curiously. "Well, I guess it all depends on what's in the letter that you gave me. I guess that, like you said, I'll read it once I'm flying, and then make my final decision."
She smiled. "Yes, you do that. I'll be here waiting for you when you get back!"
Taylor looked like he was about to say something, but then he just closed his mouth, and turned back to the plane. Once he'd climbed up to the cockpit, he sat down, strapped himself in, and began his pre-flight checklists.
Once that was done, he started up the engine. "Engine starting up!" He warned.
After pulling the lever, the engine coughed a bit, but then roared to life. The engine's roar was much more powerful when it had the proper fuel, instead of the "Moonshine knock-off" as it had come to be known. After reaching out of the plane one final time to wave goodbye to everypony, he released the brakes, and took off down the runway. a minute or so later, the plane was airborne.
"So, how long do you think it'll take for him to come back, assuming that he does decide to stay?"
Redheart smirked a bit. "Well James, I think that it'll be about 20 minutes or so. He'll most likely fly through the portal before reading the letter, then take another few minutes to make his choice, before turning around and coming back."
Celestia was worried. "Yes, but that may be time that we don't have. I could see that the weather on Earth in that area was overcast. Rain could be on its way. If that happens, then the portal could become unstable again, and if it collapses before he gets through it......" Celestia couldn't finish that thought.
James looked worried as well. "I know Princess Celestia, that's why he has to make the right choice, he just has to!"
Meanwhile, high above them, Taylor banked his plane to the right, and flew towards the portal.
"Ok, here we go. Just hold together old girl, we can make it!" Taylor then looked at the picture of his mother that he'd placed into his compass. "We have to make it! For mom, and for my return to her safely!"
Taylor then flew into the portal, and vanished from sight.
"Is the portal holding steady Princess?" James asked.
"For now James, Yes, but only just for now. I can't make any long-term promises.
Once he was inside the portal, it was just like last time; some of his instruments went haywire, but this time, his engine stayed strong, since it had plenty of fuel. Eventually, Taylor exited the portal, and came out back on Earth.
When he examined his surroundings, he was very surprised. "Wow, not much seems to have changed since I was last here. Not that it's easy to tell if an ocean's changed from the air, but still! Aside from the lack of rain, it does look almost the same. However, it does look like a storm could start up at any minute, so I'd better get going!"
As he continued to fly along, Taylor turned on his radio. "Lauderdale Base, this is Blue 1. I've been missing for nearly 4 months now in the Bermuda Triangle. I am the only survivor of Flight 19, I repeat, I am the only survivor of Flight 19. Do you copy, over?"
Only static met his message. "Huh, I thought that this frequency was still in use. Maybe it isn't." Taylor then felt the letter in his jacket pocket. He pulled it out. "Ok, now then Redheart, let's see why you're so convinced that I'll return to Equestria in less than 20 minutes." While using his knees to steer the plane, Taylor took the envelope, opened it, and pulled out the letter. Then, with one hand on the control stick, he began to read.
"My Dearest Taylor", the letter began,
"No doubt by the time you read this letter, you're flying home to your base in Fort Lauderdale. I would just like to say now that I already miss you, and are awaiting your return to Equestria. I also have some pretty good reasons as to WHY you should return.
First of all, since it has been about four months now, you have certainly been declared dead. Therefore, you are released from your obligations, as I'm sure that you are aware, a dead man cannot answer to a higher military authority.
Next, I already know that your desire to return home is half-hearted at best. Your main concern is your mother. Well, I have a solution for you! Thanks to James, he was able to build a wooden tube with a hollow interior. Contained inside the tube are papers, documents, and photographs that myself, Princess Celestia, and James put together that explain your entire situation. Celestia figured that you could take the tube close to land, and using the attached parachutes, drop it to the ground. Also contained inside that tube is a letter of explanation to your mother by Princess Celestia. It explains everything, and what you have to do in Equestria.
I know, all of this sounds too good to be true. Well, check underneath your seat! The tube is there! Just grab it, fly over land, and parachute the tube to the ground. Mission accomplished!
Then, please hurry back as fast as you can, as I'm sure that your lunch of, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches with a side of cucumber slices might be getting soggy!
Yours Truly,
💕Redheart.❤"
Taylor was in shock. To check, he reached underneath his seat. Sure enough, he pulled out a two foot long, torpedo-shaped tube painted orange, with two attached parachutes on it as well. On the sides of the tube, in black letters were the words, "To Fort Lauderdale Naval-Air Station, Fort lauderdale Florida. Here inside lies the truth of Flight 19, and it's two survivors, Lt. Charles Taylor, and Ensign William James. FRAGILE!!! HANDLE WITH CARE!!!"
It was then, that the realization of everything hit Taylor like a brick.
"What am I doing?! I have to get back to Equestria now!"
He looked down below him in the ocean, and saw a small fishing boat. Taylor then knew what he had to do. Just before he opened up the cockpit to drop down the tube, his radio suddenly came to life!
"Unknown aircraft, unknown aircraft! This is Lauderdale Base, we have received your message. Please respond, over."
"Lauderdale base, this is Lt. Charles Taylor. I'm flying Blue 1, or TBF Avenger T-28. I have come back to deliver a message." Taylor then gave his current coordinates. "The message is located in an orange, torpedo-shaped tube, which I am now dropping down to the ocean. There is a small fishing boat down there, and they may pick it up first. Please be advised that that tube contains information related to myself, Lt. Charles Taylor, and Ensign William James. , the only survivors of Flight 19. That tube MUST be delivered back to Lauderdale Base, it is IMPERATIVE!"
For the longest time, there was only silence. Then, a reply came. "Ok, listen, I don't know who you think that you are, but we are NOT hauling ass out to some spot in the Bermuda Triangle, to retrieve an orange tube from a fishing boat. Now then, get off of this frequency, before I have you found out and arrested!"
Taylor sighed. "I guess that I should have seen this coming. None of you would believe me, because you thought that I was dead. Well, then I guess, farewell, Commander Jones. It was an honor serving under you, and I wish you the best of luck." Taylor then turned off his radio.
He then turned his plane back towards the fishing boat, and once he was close to it, he opened the canopy, and released the tube. It's parachutes were opened, and it floated down to the sea, where it was picked up moments later by the fishermen.
Down below him, the small group of fishermen were doing their work, when all of a sudden, they heard a plane.
"Hey, that sounds like a TBF Avenger!"
They looked up, and sure enough, it was. It was flying all alone, and seemed to be slowly cruising along. Suddenly though, it turned, and began to circle their boat.
"Huh? Now what in thunder is that pilot doing? Is he in trouble?"
Eventually, the pilot of the plane dropped an orange object down close to their boat, and then flew away. The fisherman picked up the object with their nets, and found it to be come kind of package that needed to be delivered to Fort Lauderdale. One of the fisherman however, Dan Young, suddenly looked rather pale.
"Hey, what's wrong Dan? You look like you've seen a ghost!"
"We all just did! Did you guys see that plane's number?"
"No, why?"
"That plane was TBF Avenger TF-28!"
"So?"
"So! That plane was flown by Lt. Charles Taylor. On December 5th last year, he and his squadron, Flight 19, flew into the Triangle, and were never seen again! That was four months ago. We just saw the ghost of Taylor's plane!"
They all looked at Dan in shock. Maybe he was a bit paranoid, but then again, was the plane that they had just seen TF-28? And if it wasn't what plane was it? They decided then to take the tube, and deliver it to Fort Lauderdale when they returned to port.
At Fort Lauderdale Naval-Air station, the radio station was in confusion.
"How could that have been Taylor?! He's dead, isn't he?"
"Well, if it was, how was he still flying? How did he survive the storm?!"
The base commander, Jones was deeply disturbed. "If that wasn't Taylor, how did he know that my name was Jones? Or that I was the one on the radio? Is it possible that he is still alive?"
Whatever plane it was, it shut off it's radio, then turned around to fly back into the Bermuda Triangle, where it disappeared a few moments later. Nobody at the base knew what to do, as none of what just happened was covered by protocol.
After dropping off the tube, Taylor stuck around just long enough to witness the tube being picked up by the fishermen, who then seemed to be prepping their boat for a return to land.
"Must be trying to beat the upcoming storm", he thought. He then he flew back towards the portal. By this point though, the weather was starting to really deteriorate. A rain had begun, and the wind was really picking up. "Gosh, I really need to hurry. That portal could collapse at any time!"
Taylor then pushed his throttle farther forwards, causing the plane to go faster. "I have to make it, I have to make it!"
"Oh no."
"What is it Princess?" James asked.
"The portal is beginning to destabilize! I can see Taylor coming, but he has to hurry! This portal could collapse any minute now!"
James looked towards the portal. "Come on Taylor, come on! You have to make this!"
"Come on", Taylor growled, "Come on! Work with me old girl! We have to make it to that portal! I can already see that it's collapsing!"
Taylor pushed his throttle as far forwards as it could go. The plane was now flying ax maximum speed, and the engine was approaching the red-line. Too much more stress for a long period, and something inside of the engine could break, causing it to seize, and fail.
"Come on old girl, don't let me down now! Just a little bit more, that's all I need!"
Suddenly, lightning began to strike close to the portal.
"Oh no! That'll collapse it for sure! Come on, I'm now about 5 miles away! I can make it!"
"Augh! I need help keeping this portal open! Taylor is only a few miles away, and closing rapidly!"
Several unicorns came to their princess's aide, and used their magic to keep the portal open. However, even combined, they maybe had less than a minute until the portal was doomed.
"Come on Taylor, hurry!" Celestia mentally pleaded with him. "Just a little bit more, you can make it!"
From inside of the engine, something did indeed break. One of the engine's pistons began to crack, and this caused a huge strain on the engine. With an audible BANG!, something else snapped, and smoke began to come from the engine. Taylor could see that he had mere seconds before the portal collapsed.
"It's all or nothing now! BOOM OR BUST!"
Back in Equestria, Celestia and the other unicorns finally lost their battle with the portal. With an audible WHOOSH!!!! The portal suddenly closed.
"Did, did he make it?" Redheart asked nervously.
"I don't know, Nurse Redheart. I could see him right there, but the portal collapsed before I could see if he made it inside. It did collapse on our end, but if he made it inside from his end before it collapses, then he should pop up in a few minutes. Assuming of course that nothing went wrong, or that he didn't make it."
Redheart didn't even dare dwell on that thought. She kept looking up to the sky, hoping against all hope that Taylor made it inside.
Mere seconds before the collapse, Taylor's engine was at the brink of seizing up. It had had all it could take, now several of its pistons were cracked or broken, and the smoke kept coming. However, it was then that Taylor saw the portal going. It was now or never.
"AUGH!!!!!' He flipped the plane onto it's side, and then, just mere moments before the portal closed, the plane whizzed inside, then the portal closed, just barely missing the plane's tail, and then Blue 1 was gone, never to be seen, or heard from on Earth ever again.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- ScarFox9700 · 54k words · 22 5 · 971 views
- The Blue EM2 · 14k words · 29 9 · 1.3k views
- Sharman Pierce · 66k words · 39 1 · 1k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.092 seconds
Total duration
674 users online
993,615 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
8619049
Well, given you've started to defend and explain your way out of just about just about all the prose problems I could comment on, I expect I won't have to make these comments for much longer. It seems you've reached the limit of what I can teach you. I'll probably keep reading until the end of the story at least, but I don't really see the point of leaving these long comments if you're going to be trying to explain your way out of problems instead of learning and correcting them. Waste of my time, and waste of yours.
If you won't learn from me, I'll just have to hope you can learn by doing. It's certainly doable--that's how I learned. It was just slower that way.
8620627
Hello again Starscribe.
What? Aww, that's sad, I actually really enjoyed our conversations about these chapters. We've come a long way on our journey through "Bermuda Beginnings" since Chapter 1. You've tried to help me with my mistakes, pointed things out to me, and showed me where the story failed. I saw these problems, and tried to correct them. (Except for the Christianity thing. I've adjusted this for later stories, but for this one, I'm going to leave it the same) And I do read your comments, I enjoy reading them, and i really enjoyed explaining things. Your comments were the highlights of all of my comments for this story.
And, acutally, I have been learning from my mistakes. Don't believe me? Well, go check out Battleship Express I just started writing it a few days ago, and since that time, approval ratings, and views for it have absolutely skyrocketed! It's done more than "Bermuda Beginnings" ever could have. If that's not proof of learning from my mistakes, then I don't know what is! I don't know if it's exactly your cup of tea, but I know that it could serve as definitive proof that I have been learning from what you told me, as well as my own mistakes.
As a final note, I hope that, in addition to reading, that you do keep commenting on this story, and maybe others that I write as well. I've enjoyed our journey together, so here's to hoping that you do continue with commenting on my work.
(Also, spoiler alert, Chapter 42-43 will be all about summarizing, time jumping, and finally getting to the major action that I've been hinting towards all along.
well if the portal does spit James out Blue 1 is defiantly a total wright off this time.
8621021
Hello Harts Fire,
And pretty much, yeah. I always want to send my chapters out on a high-note, or something of suspense. This chapter was no different, even if the outcome was already a foregone conclusion.
Finally got around to doing this chapter. Guess you're pretty busy with your new story, and that's good. Glad you found an audience for it. Just remember the promises you make to your readers, don't lose them in the middle like you do on this story.
I don't like having a whole crowd of random strangers there to see him off. Taylor isn't a hero of Equestria, he's a circus attraciton. The only ponies who should care that he's leaving are the airplane eight and his other friends. They should be there to show him off, and nopony else. Nopony else would care.
Certanly they sholdn't be asking him questions about things. Most of them don't know or care about the details of his life. This should be a much more intimate scene with just a few.
To which whoever he tells that will call bullshit and probably assume he's a soviet spy who just sold national secrets to the reds. And he vanishes into a prison for the rest of his life.
No. This is stupid. The idea the pony had is stupid, but more important, you don't want to make your main character look like an idiot. It's better just to keep him uninformed.
Here's the crowd of Taylor's friends. These are the ones who should be here, this is good! The stuff with the random crowd was dumb, but this isn't.
Silly and arbitrary. It seems like if she thought she knew how to make him stay, she would just say it.
NO NO NO!
You know how you build stress and tension with the audience. You have characters emotional, confused, tearful. You know how you make the whole scene seem lame and pointless? Make everyone think they already know what's going to happen, and make them make accurate predictions of what's going to happen. It makes the whole chapter feel pointless.
YOU know what's going to happen. Make sure your characters don't steal your notes and cheat to see that. THEY should be emotional, terrified, whatever. NOt this.
The liklihood of this happening is near zero.
This is even sillier. This is more mary sue territory. Where random people happen to know about and be interested in the life of someone they shouldn't even know exists. This is (cold) WAR, so information is scarce. At _best_ he might know some planes went missing. They wouldn't know the names of the people on board, or lots of specifics about the story.
:( Cue you making up some bullcrap story about how Dan is actually someone from the naval base on a vacation fishing expedition or some other such garbage that WASN'T IN THE STORY. Could you just pretend you made up something silly and not actually put it in the response? That would be great.
If it ain't in the story, it ain't true. Moving on.
Because base commanders for the known bases like Lauderdale are matters of public record you idiot. Anyone who can go to the library and read the newspaper knows you're the commander. It would be better for you to recognize Taylor's voice yourself, or maybe have him make an in-joke you recognize. Knowing you're here proves nothing at all.
These scene transitions every two paragraphs are extremely awful. You're trying to have your cake and eat it too, but the jumps are jarring and uncomfortable. I would pick one perspective and stick with it. Pick the part of the story you want to tell the most and tell that.
8648199
Hello again Starscribe,
Wow, it's been a little while, hasn't it? Well, like I've said in my most recent blog entry, I'm not done with this story, nor is it on hiatus, I just, haven't had the time to work on it like I've wanted, but Chapter 42 is in the works right now. I don't know how much longer it'll be, but it is coming soon!
And yes, "Battleship Express" has been a huge hit. I don't know how, or why, but it never fails to disappoint! I've also always kept my promises to my readers.
Anyway, getting down to business.
First of all, Yeah, I guess that you're right. I didn't really think about this when I wrote the chapter, but yeah, maybe I should have made the crowd a little bit smaller. It does get smaller later, but I guess that it should have had it small to begin with.
Same thing, I guess that I should have thought this through better. However, maybe questions like this wouldn't have happened with a smaller crowd!
Ummm, wow, um, that's.......certainly something that I did not think about! And I don't think that Taylor thought of it either! In case it wasn't clear, Taylor thought up that answer for Redheart on the fly. He wasn't sure how to explain his absence, so he just made that one up. Plus, the war had just ended a mere 4 months before his disappearance. Soviet aggression in Eastern Europe was just getting off the ground. They didn't have the atomic bomb yet, and they were just beginning to consolidate their power. The Cold War didn't even start until 1947, so I think that Taylor would be in the clear, at least in my opinion.
Um, yeah, I could do that. *Makes a mental note to keep the main character uninformed at times*
Well, that's something that I did right, so that's good!
It may be silly, but Redheart wanted Taylor to experience the full 9 yards by himself. She wanted to have a story that they could share together years down the road. I implied this in this chapter, and outright said it in the next, so yes it IS in the actual story, not just the comments section!
Um, let's just say that this bit looked A LOT better in my head! I guess that I didn't anticipate it falling down flat on its face. I'd been thinking about this scene for a long time in advance, and in the end, I just decided to go for it. Clearly, I should have thought about it a bit more.
Eh, I did some research bout dropping things out of aircraft. It's been done before, so it is at least plausible, even if unlikely.
No, the Cold War hasn't started yet! This is March, of 1946. The Cold War doesn't start until 1947. Also, Flight 19's disappearance was back on December 5th, 1945. I did some research, and its disappearance was pretty big news at the time. Lots and lots of people knew about it. This is why they replaced the USS Cyclops as the biggest unsolved mystery of the Bermuda Triangle. So yes, it's highly likely that a fisherman from that area would know about Flight 19.
Also, when I said that Dan Young was a fisherman, I meant that. He really IS just a fisherman! He sells his fish to local restaurants. He also knows a lot about the history of the area, and when Flight 19 disappeared nearly 3 months prior, he became very interested in it, as did many other people. This isn't made up for the comments, this is legit. Except for the restaurant thing, that wasn't, but the rest of it is at least IMPLIED in the story.
The commander was extremely unnerved to say the least! Taylor and the others were presumed to be dead, and now suddenly, 3 months later, someone who claims to be Taylor, and flew out of the Bermuda Triangle, just appears for a bit, and then flies back into the Bermuda Triangle, and disappears from the radar screen. I know that if it was me, I would be VERY unnerved by the whole affair!
And yeah, I didn't like this the best either. I felt like the bouncing around was a bit distracting, but I felt like the audience would understand. I guess that you telling me this puts the final nail in that coffin! For the future, I'll work on that better.
And I don't know what it was about "Battleship Express". It literally went from existing, to sensation literally overnight. It's done more in a few short weeks of existence, than "Bermuda Beginnings" has ever done. Maybe it's the subject matter, maybe it's the characters, maybe, by sheer dumbl uck, I hit the perfect way to write a story out of the park on the first try! Or maybe.....well, I really don't have an answer. I know that the story HAS to be well-loved, or it wouldn't be as popular as it currently is. It's the best story that I've ever written, and it isn't even completed yet! And with a few sequels planned, and seemingly very much anticipated for, I guess that I need to figure out a way to transfer the framework for a good story from that one, to this one!
8648465
The biggest reason that story has had a better reception than this one is largely because (from what I've read) that story is honest with its readers about what it really is. Also, it's a new and different setup for HiE, where this one is tired and has been written many times (the idea of historical people sucked into equestria through magical shenanigans). Just make sure you keep delivering what your story promises you will, and I"m sure it will stay popular.
8650353
Hello again Starscribe,
Well, maybe it is tired now, but 2 1/2 years ago, back when I first wrote the original manuscript, maybe it was an original idea. Even today, my story is one of only 3 that I could find that are about Flight 19. But yeah, HIE has been done many times since then, and I guess that mine just didn't do as well as I was originally expecting.
Battleship Express on the other hand, turned into a runaway hit. I wrote a description, and the first 3 chapters, and then kept writing after I published the story. And ever since, the story has been growing in popularity. I've delivered on all of my promises, and I guess that's why everypony loves it.
8714935
I'm talking about the religion part.
8714938
Hello SOG AVENGER 225,
And yeah, I know. The Christianity was "Bermuda Beginnings"'s sad downfall. It largely killed the story, although I am still attempting to salvage what I can from it. From this, I learned that if you want to put religion into a story, do so in a war-time situation, and only for a few brief sentences, or a casual reference. DO NOT base an entire chapter off of it! I understand what went wrong, and I corrected this for my later stories.
8714947
Non the less I'm still enjoying it the story.
8714951
Well, I'm gad. Even this story does have mixed reviews, there are enough positive reviews so that I do continue the story.
8715041
If the story is a success will you do a sequel?
8715046
Hello SOG AVENGER 225,
And yes, this story was supposed to be the first in a trilogy. All 3 stories will be written someday, but it's all a matter of how successful that they will be. I've tried to salvage "Bermuda Beginnings", and once I've learned from my mistakes, hoepfully, I'll be able to do better with the 2 sequels.
8715191
Will Tayler be the only human or will there be others in this story or the next?
8715209
No, Taylor will not be the only Human. One other one shows up later on in this story, and there will be 2 more for the Sequel.
8715486
Awesome.
8715730
Yeah, I know, it's pretty cool.
I was wondering why this story seemed so hated when the comments section was free of flame wars. Then I saw someone mention a chapter based on religious ideas and it made sense.
Some advice, nothing kills fanfics faster than religious themes and iconography; avoid it like the plague until you've either got a larger fanbase or more practice. Most FiMfic readers are pretty secular too so you should avoid focusing on it too much without easing them into it first.
I'll refrain on giving any further advice before I actually read through it.
8999315
Hello SSJW PinkiePie,
And the honest truth is, I don't know. This story was my very first, and it started out ok, but then, I made a few very serious tactical errors, namely bringing religion into the mix, and the whole story went spiraling into an out of control tail-spin. I spent a great many chapters trying to correct this, but I was only able to give it a controlled crash-landing. The truth is, it's going to need a MAJOR re-write in some parts, and a complete reversal of the religion. I figured out how to do this properly in stories like "Battleship Express", and "Beyond the Express", so I hope to reapply this same method to here. Unfortunately though, I don't have the time right now to sit down, and fully rethink everything. This is due to my hectic schedule, working on other stories, and my job.
Don't worry though, it's not cancelled, and it's not fully on hiatus either. It's just sitting on a back burner for the time being, where it will remain until I can properly give it the attention that it deserves. So to answer your question, it will resume once I have the time to fix all of its flaws. I don't know when this will be yet, but I will keep you posted.
8972574
Hello Allstar 13521,
And sorry for the late reply.
And yes, I learned this lesson the hard way. The story started out so good, but then, because I brought in religion, it went into an out of control tail-spin. I spent a great many other chapters trying to fix it, but in the end, I only managed a controlled crash landing. The way I see it, this story is like a building. It has a great foundation, and a good frame, but some of the walls are rotting and falling apart. The concept is the foundation, the ideas are the frame, but yet, the chapters are like the walls. Some are better than others, and the ones with religion are what doomed this story. It will need a FULL re-writing at some point, but alas, I lack the time to sit down and do this with my life, and my other writing projects. One day though, I WILL get to it, but I just don't know when.
Also, I figured out how to PROPERLY incorporate religion into a story, and successfully did so in "Battleship Express", and "Beyond the Express", as well as "Fear from the Rails". Those stories were HUGE successes, and now I see that I can reapply how I did it there to "Bermuda Beginnings". Don't worry, I WILL get it right the second try, I promise!
9000347
That's good to hear, It's always encouraging to see an author who's willing and capable of improving and I greatly anticipate the rewrite. I might not have the time to read it immediately but I always enjoy new stories.
i am sorry to say i am pulling this story from my primary list and moving it to my UN-finished list.
i hate to see a story die as it is just happening way to much but well i am thinking this one is finished.
9424680
Hello Hartsfire,
And believe it or not, this story actually isn't dead. Yes, I haven't done anything with it in a while, and it did hit the ground hard, but I still have a plan for it. As of now, it is on Hiatus, and it will remain there until I have more time to dedicate to it. The truth is, the story needs a rewrite. Yes, it was a great idea, and it has great elements, but I horribly botched its execution later on. In my defense, this was my first story, and I didn't fully know what I was doing at the time.
Again, yes, it IS on hiatus for a time, but yes, I WILL finish it one day, you have my promise! I can't honestly say when, but one day I will.
9454836
Yeah I can see how bringing religion in could doom a story
9455482
Hello Ravencell,
And yes, I learned this lesson the hard way. I do have plans to revive this story one day, but I'm still busy with my current projects at the moment. I will get around to fixing it one day though.
10496680
Hello Lord of Chaos,
And no, they're not
10496695
Hello LordOfChaos,
And before you start ripping this story to pieces, please know this. This was my VERY FIRST story ever. I had no idea what I was doing at the time, which is why this story ended up failing to the point where I put it on hiatus. It'll need a massive overhaul at some point to make it better, though I'm not sure when that'll happen.
As for the stallion poking Taylor, he was fairly certain that Taylor was dead, as the plane had slammed into the ground pretty hard
10496699
Hello LordofChaos,
And yeah, you may be right. This'll be on the list of things to fix in this story when the time comes
10496705
Hello LordofChaos,
And yeah, you're right again. I'll also fix this when the time comes
Why was this cancelled?
10979810
Hello Starlight Nova,
And this story wasn't "cancelled" per say, just put on hiatus. The truth is, I stopped writing it in light of a lot of feedback where writers more experienced than I was (this was my first story) pointed out a lot of flaws with how I was writing, and parts of the story that needed fixing. Don't get me wrong, it was a great idea, and had some unique characters, but it was the execution that was flawed. Because of the sheer amount of work that it would take to overhaul this story, I moved it to the backburner for the time being, but still think about it from time to time. It's not a completely dead project, and one day I will turn my attention back to it. Keep an eye out for a blog post in the near future where I'll talk about this story, the (horrible failure) "Back from Death", and the unfinished "Wendelle in the Colony", and ask the readers what order they want me to fix/finish them, if at all