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Pink Blanket

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The Great Derpsby

The Great Derpsby #1 · Sep 15th, 2017 · · · Chapter 3: Day One ·

Well, you have some writing issues that you may want to address, such as putting a comma before the name when characters address one another in dialogue, or writing out numbers under a hundred (or just always) as that hinders immersion otherwise, and...

Wait.

she would notice a couple groups of dragons looking up at her and silver, snickering and smirking up at them, this made Sarah blush as she soon felt another tug on her collar.

Who is Sarah?

Walk

Walk #2 · Sep 16th, 2017 · · · Chapter 3: Day One ·

8427166
Thanks a lot for the advice! I still need to proof read these chapters and try to fix all of the mistakes I made, also sorry about the slip up of 'Sarah'. Sarah is a character in another story I am in love with, I was so tired when I wrote this I must have mixed them up, but I have sence fixed it sence reading your comment

Flametiger 12