• Published 16th Jul 2012
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Pony POV Series Season Three: Butterflies - Alex Warlorn



Discord beaten. Reality restored. But invisible wounds must heal too. Time for butterflies to fly.

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Pony POV Series Episode 40: "Butterflies Good Morning Fillies"

My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic Fanfiction
Pony POV Series Butterflies Part 12
"Awakening Fillies"

This wasn't the club house. I was on clouds. I felt something warm and soft against me. Was it mom? Was it dad? Was it Her? Was I back home? Back in Cloudsdale? Was that all just a dream? Living with Her? Had I always been with my parents? Was being alone, and then being with Her just my imagination? Did I want it to be? More confused and scared than I'd ever admit to being, I slowly opened my eyes, and saw a big mass of cyan hide next to me. I turned my head a little, and saw a rainbow colored mane, and I imagined behind those closed eyelids beautiful rose colored eyes.

I felt relief wash through me, she was still here. Shame bubbled up next, was I so bad a filly that I didn't care about my parents anymore? I felt my heart twist a bit, it wasn't fair, I loved all of them, mom, dad, Dash, why would I have to choose?

Even sleeping she looked like a hero right out of the old Pegasus myths: rough, tough, proud, not afraid to get dirty, unbreakably true to all those around her, she was like the north star. She was the star I wanted to spread my wings to reach for, she was the 'me' I wanted to be. Somepony I knew my mom and dad would always be proud of. Someone she'd be proud of too.

I noticed her breathing wasn't quite even, I saw her closed eyes scrunched together, a look on her face I didn't get but felt familiar in a weird way.

I asked worried, "Hey Dash, you awake?"

She opened her eyes. She looked at me like she was trying to figure out whether or not she was still dreaming.

She whispered, "You're still here."

"Well," I said embarrassed, racking my brain for some stupid excuses, "Tank's being stubborn this morning and doesn't want to give me a ride to the ground so if it's not too much trouble-"

She hugged me like I was a plushie. It was more than a little sudden. "Whao! Dash!"

She stroked my mane like she was worried I would break, "You're still here."

I didn't want to say I was having trouble breathing but, "Uh, Dash, this is kinda-"

She seemed to get the message and kinda hesitantly she let go. "Alright squirt. Just-just give me a minute."

I think I've actually lost track of how long Dash has been looking after me now. Since she squeezed out of me that I had been living on my own and I had no idea where my parents were. She promised she'd do her best to find them. Of course she said she would find them. But if there's only one pony I'm not oblivious to, it's Dash. I can see she's scared, I can see she's worried. Yesterday I thought she was worried she wouldn't be able to get her promise done. And before that, I figured it was something else. After all, Rainbow Dash not being able to keep a promise? Who would have ever heard of such a thing?

But today I think I finally get it. Dash is like me. She's scared she will find them. And I don't know what I'm going to do if she does. And I don't think she knows what she's going to do either.

"Hey Squirt! Stare into space later! Get ready for school now! I'm due at weather control this morning too!"

"Oh! Right Dash! Got it!" I gave a tiny salute and got to work at light speed. As long as I am here, here with her, I'm not gonna miss a moment of it! Because, being trapped with her I'm free.

+++

Of course Ah get up early. Ah live on a farm. You get up before dawn and go to bed early. Ah'll never say so out loud, but Ah kinda get why big sister AJ wanted to leave for the big city. Naw I ain't gonna do the same. This here is mah family, mah friends, and Ah ain't gonna leave'em!

Oh yeah, that gettin' up early part? Don't think Ah get up early to watch the sunrise, we don't have the time to waste on checkin' that out. Sweet Apple Acres didn't set the stage for Ponyville existin' in the first place by bein' slack about it! And big brother Macintosh didn't get those muscles from peeling apples. Let it never be said mah family never needed me! This apple farm needs as many ponies as it can get its hooves on. Even if Ah'm still a filly, there's lots of stuff I can do around here.

Now, if ya'll excuse me kindl-, eh? Mah friends? Ya'all have no idea how happy Ah am to have'em, and how happy Ah am that mah family lets me have time to be a Cutie Mark Crusader. 'Cause trust me, there is always more jobs ta be done on this here farm!

Ah just hope Ah can all find some fireworks today. Ya see me, Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle were all talkin' 'bout how ta get our cutie marks and-hey, ya gotta go already?

Heard what Fluttershy was doin' fer Ruby? Can't say I did. Look, Ruby's a friend, a real friend, but, I really don't wanna talk about that again? Please?

Mah time when Discord . . . made my worst nightmare come true?

Ah, ah really really don't wanna talk 'bout that again. Ah talked it over with Dr. Head Scratcher, and Ah talk it over with Applejack, them nightmares have finally stopped again. Bein' colder than cold inside, wantin' the tiniest bit of warmth but yah can't find any anywhere, every part of ya hurtin.' Knowin' if ya put yerself out of yer misery, it just starts again - can we please not talk 'bout that?

It's funny though, when Ah think about Scootaloo, Sweetie, and yeah, Ruby, the fear ain't half as bad. Funny how havin' friends around can make all the difference ain't it? Ah never thought Ah'd say it, but if there's one thing Ah thank Diamond Tiara for, it's that because of what she put me through, the Cutie Mark Crusaders came together.

Sis actin' weird? Yeah, Ah guess she kinda was, but Ah think it was just that rodeo still messin' with her a little bit. Ah can't believe she went and thought a bunch of dumb blue ribbons meant more to all of us than she did.

Ah love AJ to pieces, but she can be stubborn sometimes... What? Yeah, Ah guess that's bein' the pot callin' the kettle black, but it seems to run in the family. Ah guess Ah could've gone easier on all the praisin', but can you blame me? And don't put this all on me, Mayor Mare did her fair share of talkin' too. Ah ain't the one who told her the whole town was dependin' on her winnin'.

Come to think about it, Ah can't blame sis for messin' up with that much pressure on her shoulders. Ah almost choke when we get a test at school, let alone the whole town hopin' Ah bring back some big old prize. Yeah, Ah bet if we hadn't been being so big on her winnin' I bet she would have won the whole darn thing! Yeah! Ah bet she would have come home with all sorts of blue ribbons!

Excuses? Waddayamean excuses? AJ's the best! AJ can't lose! AJ . . . AJ did lose. You saw her at the rodeo? So what happened? She was distracted right? The pressure got to her? She tripped? She stumbled?

The ponies who won first place were just faster and stronger than her? Ah bet they all rubbed it in her face and . . . one took her out for a smoothie after she came in second?

. . . Right. Ah said AJ was bein' dumb fer thinkin' a bunch of ribbons meant more to us than she did, maybe Ah'm bein' a little dumb mahself.

Yeah, it's good to have her back. She's family, and the Apple Family is a tight knit bunch.

++++

Giant soft bed, slight smell of perfume, no doubt about it, I was still home, erm, at Rarity's. I spend so much time here Rarity converted one of her rooms into a place for me. I actually spent a lot of time here. Don't tell mom and dad, but I think Rarity's home is a lot more pretty to look at than theirs.

It's nice how they let me spend so much time here. Oh? Yes I would say out of the year I spend more time with Rarity than I do with my parents. It's great Rarity lets me stay over so much. Oh, oh yeah, my visit before the big Sisterhood Social? Um. I never did get why Rarity looked so unhappy, maybe she had a bad dream? Yes I did spend a long time with my parents before they dropped me off, a lot more than normal. It had been so long Rarity actually looked surprised to see me for once!

Yeah, we really crossed horns that time. I actually forgot how neat and tidy and impossibly clean Rarity always wants everything. Mom and dad were sure in a hurry to leave after they chatted with Rarity, last I checked they were still in the islands, even that big shot Photo Finish has come back from her vacation. Who did I stay with while Rarity was in Canterlot then? . . .

I'm never gonna call Applebloom lazy again as long as I live. And I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that farming is NOT what I want a cutie mark of! Applejack's nice, but I'm REALLY glad she didn't take me as her little sister when I tried to become an Apple! I'm gonna be a fashion designer like my big sister if it kills me. I'm just really not into sports like dad, Rarity says he tried to make her into a hoofball player too. Didn't work out.

Do I like to sing? Okay, I guess I do, I get a warm feeling whenever I do, but Rarity is the pony I wanna be like. She sings too? Well, I guess that's okay then, but why does everypony always keep asking when I'm going to sing?

Am I still scared of my dolls? Well, I, er, the doctor and AJ all said I've gotta own them and not let them own me, and Rarity actually took some time off to PLAY dolls with me. With the ones I thought I threw out! I'm really happy now that Rarity kept them.

Rarity told me what the doctors and Applejack all said, they're just dolls, they're not alive, they're not me, I'm not them, and I'll be me no matter how many parts got switched around.

Yeah, me and Diamond Tiara. I kept putting on and taking off dresses in sister's shop, then a pink filly sized doll wandered in looking for new dresses to put on. Our eyes locked and wouldn't look away. We took hooves, and danced together.

All I could think about with her was that dance, just spinning in place forever on one hoof. With seams on my plastic body I just danced, and danced. It was so pure, there was nothing in the world but us dancing. Rarity didn't exist, Scootaloo didn't exist, Ponyville didn't exist, just her and me, dancing.

Then we stopped dancing. I mimed that I really liked her mane. So we exchanged heads. Then we exchanged tails. Then we danced some more. Then we exchanged legs. And we just danced more.

The worst part was how good it felt, a simple, pure mindless happiness. The exact same dance over and over. I thought Discord was supposed to be spirit of chaos. You'd think he'd know more than one dance to make us do.

Over and over.

And, we never, ever, changed parts back, before Rarity and her friends saved us all. Diamond Tiara looked at me in shock, screamed some things at me I can't remember, kicked me once, then ran away like I was going to eat her. I'd laugh, but it wasn't funny.

I still love Rarity, I still love mom and dad, I still love my friends, I'm not about to act all snotty towards anypony, but . . . I keep wondering, do I have her heart? And does she have mine?

I know it's silly.

It's not like Diamond Tiara really opened up to us afterwards, she just closed herself off, she wasn't being mean, she wasn't being anything. It would've been a relief personally if it wasn't so weird.

I saw her coming to and from Rarity's for a good while after, before she... disappeared. Did she have my heart after all? Did she now like Rarity somehow? Maybe I'll finally ask her when we see her again. I mean, we gotta see her again, no way she'd just run away, not a filly who has everything.

It's funny, the day she vanished, while I was out and about, I suddenly felt horrible. I didn't feel sick or anything, but I felt so guilty I wanted to crawl to the nearest adult and bawl how sorry I was. It took me a second to realize I had no idea what I felt sorry about! Thankfully Scootaloo and Applebloom were right near me and the bad feeling passed quickly. Maybe I regretted all those times I wished she'd just disappear when she was bullying us... It's one thing to wish something like that, another for it to come true...

Leaving something out? What you mean leaving something out? Besides you couldn't know if I was lying anyway, I'm too good. Er, with all the practice from . . . Gabby Gums.

Me and Spike? Oh he's still acting like he's Rarity's personal servant whenever she trots in the room, but he's not minding hanging around us for a change. Twilight's saying he needs to hang with some colts his own age, but that's easier said than done in Ponyville. And he's really gonna come in handy with our plan with the fireworks, the railway tracks, and that flux-capacitor we found in Doctor Whooves' junk pile.

Ugh. I feel sick, maybe Rarity's right and I should stop trying to cook my own dinner. I feel like I ate wood pulp.

----

I dreamed of the dance. Two dolls. Just dancing. So pure, so right, nothing else mattered, nothing else could matter, no doubts, no fears, just the dance, two little dolls, just dancing. Forever. No appearance to keep up. No pecking order to secure. No cutie mark that showed how worthless you were. No worries about self worth. Only the dance, beautiful and forever.

Diamond Tiara.

. . . Go away.

It's time to wake up now.

. . . . . .

You've been napping for a while now. But now it's time you woke up.

. . . . . . . . . Mama?

Time to get up. You have a lot to do.

But I don't wanna.

Get Your Butt In Gear Little Pony!!

I startled awake. I felt like I was in molasses.

Everything was a blur, green and blues, slowly coming into focus.

I remembered walking so long my hooves had felt like lead weights, I remember being so cold I was going to freeze to death, I remember being so tired I could sleep forever.

I saw Canterlot's walls not too far off. Canterlot was built into a mountain side, but there was an obscure patch of wildlife and a cavern that could provide shelter. Or there was now. Was this here before? I dunno. I never really paid much attention to geography in class.

The Cockatrice that had been following me since the voice told me to ignore that strange song was still nearby. Watching outward. There were a couple pegasus statues nearby that hadn't been there when I went to sleep wearing fancy Canterlot clothes. I shook myself fully awake and realized I was covered in dust and leaves. How long had I been sleeping?

Just a month or two or three. I didn't count.

"What?" I gasped out load. It ached just to move my jaw.

Yes, you had to sleep right through Hearth's Warming Eve, sorry about the mountain of toys your father would have bought you.

I shivered, the cold air bit at me.

We had to wait. The time wasn't right. I wouldn't have been able to help you. This world was bound to the will of the heart world, meaning certain things couldn't happen. Now it is free to make its own destiny. And so are you.

I was positively filthy. If I didn't get washed soon I'd absolutely die.

Don't worry. We'll take care of that soon enough.

That was when two timber wolves came from behind me. I screamed.

They circled around me, I saw myself reflected in their glowing yellow eyes.

A dirty, cowardly, ugly, unwashed, unkept filly, the diamond tiara on her head that wearing was all she was good for stained and tangled in a rat's nest mane.

I tried to run, but my legs were so weak I couldn't even stand. I shook like a leaf wondering how badly it was going to hurt when they ate me.

Father, mother, a silver filly, and a white unicorn mare all flashed in my mind.

Oh don't be such a fraidy pony. They're friends. They're here to help you. You must be hungry. Eat up.

One of the timber wolves tore open the gut of the other. It fell on its side, green insides spilled out.

I felt sick. "You, you can't really want me to-"

Oh come come now! Be a good little filly and eat your greens. Timber wolves are plants, it's not like you're eating an animal. Unless of course you're one of those wicked meat eaters who likes eating poor defenseless animals. They can always go get you some if you want.

"Oh no no no!" I said, I felt myself pale. "I just might catch some disease, eating wild plants that haven't been cooked."

Oh don't worry about it. You won't. I'll make sure of it. Now eat up and get your strength back, you still have a long road ahead. And once in Canterlot you'll have a lot to do little filly. Unless you really don't love your mother and this was all just a waste of-"

I dove my muzzle into the timber wolf's inside, chowing down. I felt my stomach trying to defy the laws of biology. I wouldn't let it. I imagined it was mashed alfalfa, horrible tasting, but I had eaten for my parents' sake before.

The other timber wolf simply took a protective stance on the opposite side of me from the cockatrice. They moved when I moved, they didn't try to get in my way once. They always kept the same distance.

Finished, eating, I felt dizzy and hot. My face was a mess of green viscera.

There there. That wasn't so bad now was it my dear? Now go along, you have a long way to go before you reach the finish line.

I limply got to my chipped and unshoed hooves.

"And you promise," I wheezed out. "You promise mom will be healthy again? She won't have to go back to that place ever again?"

I promise your mother will be completely and utterly normal. She'll be the way you want her to be. Of course if you're having second thoughts, you can just turn around and go home. Maybe your mother is happier the way she is. In that little room. Maybe she likes being around all those big strong pegasi. And I'm sure they like her when she's strapped helpless to the electroshock tables and they're all alone with her when the doctors aren't looking.

"NO!" I gasped out, "Please stop."

You want this to stop? Alright, I'll tell your father where you are and-

"No no no! I mean, you don't need to say it! I'll do it! I'll do anything! Just promise me you'll cure my mother!"

Cure her? First, are you sure that's what you want?

"Yes!"

Second, are you really sure?

"Yes yes! Please."

Third, but is that what you really want?

"Ye-he-eh-es!" I begged. I would have done anything to see those stupid blanks begging. Ladies don't cry my instructors said, I'm not a lady.

I swear by Mother The End Of All Things. Now hurry along. The Alicorns want your mother to stay sick forever. You're wasting time and there's still much left for you to do.

I obey.