Bandit Busters
I can barely express how much self-control I had to exert to avoid breaking down into hysterics at Jarl Fiadhaich‘s voice. Have any of you seen Mrs. Doubtfire the old Robin Williams film? His voice sounded like a slightly more masculine version of Robin’s Mrs. Doubtfire voice with a strong Scottish accent. I was literally vibrating from holding in my laughter as he and Gerhman talked.
“Jarl Fiadhaich, why was the festival cancelled?”
The humongous griffin sighed and dragged a claw across his weary face.
“It’s because ah tha bandit problem.”
“Bandit problem?”
“Aye. No less than three days ago a whole bunch ah lads, lasses, and their mums went out to tha woods ta gather boughs and wildflowers tah make festival wreaths. We dinae think ta send any soldiers along ‘cause the woods hae always been safe, but they didn’t return. Then Ah sent a patrol teh go look for em and they couldn’t find hide nor hair o’ the lot uhv ‘em. It was then that we received this letter.”
He handed Gerhman a letter written in some weird language. Gerhman read it over and said,
“A ransom?”
“Aye. Tha best soldiers ah kin spare are out lookin’ fer ‘em right now and ah even sent word to tha King aboot our plight, but we d’nay know where they are.”
Gerhman set down the note amd groaned,
“This is bloody awful! I’m so sorry.”
The Jarl nodded and growled,
“Ah promised not tah rest until those bandits were taken care of and by me beak Ahl do jus’ that.”
Me and Gerhman both gave the Jarl a pittying look and Gerhman said,
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“Not unless yeh can find those bastards fer me.”
Gerhman sighed,
“Don’t think I can help ya there mate. I’m just a bard.”
“Aye, though ah din’t think ah tha affect this would have on ya. This festival is one of yoor main sources of money. Yer just as anxious ta get things goin again as we are tah see our families. But ahm afraid we can’t help eachother.”
I chose then to butt in.
“Actually... we might be able to.”
Both Gerhman and Fiadhaich looked at me. The Jarl said,
“Who’s this?”
Gerhman wrapped an arm around my shoulders and said,
“This, is one of the smartest dragons I know. Well, only dragon I know, but he’s pretty damn smart if’n you ask me. Reads enough to be at least.”
Fiadhaich nodded and asked,
“Alright dragon, what’s yoor plan.”
“Well, we need to find out where the bandits are so we can rescue the hostages, so why not have somebody else either get captured or escape capture by the bandits, have your troops follow the bandits back to their hideout, and rescue everyone. It stands to reason that the bandits would still be in the area. Also, in my experience, bandits tend to be greedy to the point of spreading themselves thin. So that results in a good chance of your bandits looking for more hostages, or at least being willing to take more.”
Fiadhaich sighed.
“Ah’d thought ah somethin’ like that. Ah’m just not sure if thas a risk Ah’m willin’ ta have on mah head.”
“Well, it’s the best plan we have, so it’s at least worth consideration.”
He bowed his head before looking me in the eye.
“That it is. Here’s tah hopin’ yoor plan works.”
He waved over a soldier and told him,
“Ah want ya ta gather a squadron and follow these two. You are to locate tha bandits, follow ‘em while evadin’ detection, and rescue our people. Are we clear?”
The griffin saluted and hurried off while I processed what had just happened.
“Wait... what was that about us?”
Fiadhaich raised an eyebrow (or... whatever feathery things griffins have for eyebrows. I’ll just keep calling them eyebrows.) and said,
“Well it was yoor idea, and ya did mention yah wanted ta help. Ah figured you were volunteering.”
Gerhman and I chorused,
“Yeah, no.”
“No.”
“Nope.”
“Nadda.”
“Not at all.”
“Nuh-uh.”
Fiadhaich sighed.
“Please, Ah can’t spare more troops then Ah already ahm sendin’. We need yoor help.”
Gerhman piped up,
“But we’re not soldiers! Those bandits will rip us apart.”
“But tha plan is tah get captured. You’ll just have to play along and wait for mah men tah rescue ya.”
I sucked on my teeth and said,
“Sssssh.... I dunno.”
“Ah’ll be sure tah reward ya handsomely, and yu’ll be heros to our town for years tah come. In fact, Ah’ll even be sure ta add your names to tha same festival yoor here for. C’mon, help ah brother out?”
I looked over at Gerhman who was giving me a meaningful look. I sighed,
“Fine. Let’s do it.”
He laughed and grabbed me in a bear hug.
“Ha ha! Thas tha spirit! C’mon! To glory!”
“Can’t... breath! Too... tight!”
It didn’t take long for the troops to muster and for Fiadhaich to direct us to the area where the townspeople went missing. As we walked, Gerhman and I nervously chatted.
“So... why exactly did you want me to say yes, Gerhman?”
“Well, not only would that reward and the festival be nice, but this’ll make a fine story. How Gerhman the Bard and Cain the Dragon led the Jarl’s soldiers to the lair of the Halvstead bandits.”
I nodded and kept walking.
“That’s nice, here I was thinking you had a heroic streak.”
“Well... that too. Growing up hearing stories and songs of brave heros fighting monsters and bandits and such kinda made me a sucker for this kinda thing.”
“I can definitely understand that.”
He looked ne over for a second before asking,
“Hey, where are you from anyway?”
“Huh?”
“I’ve told you some about my past, but for all I know you didn’t exist before I found you.”
“Oh, uh... you see... the thing is....”
Before I could reply there was a rustle from the left and a griffin in a green, patchwork cloak stepped out.
“Evenin’ chaps. As much as I hate to break up ya little chat, I’m gonna need you two to come wiv me.”
German huffed in a less than convincing way to (but the bandit [hopefully?]) seemed to buy it.
“Oh yeah, and why’s that? As far as I can see there are two of us and—“
*whistle*
“One... of... you.”
He gulped as we both looked at the two bandits pointing crossbows at us, one griffin and one pegasus. A unicorn stepped out from behind a tree and grinned wickedly as the original bandit said,
“You wus sayin’?”
....
“Wonderful weather we’re having?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.039 seconds
Total duration
970 users online
221,346 hits today, 2,280,440 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I don't remember, has discord escaped his statue yet? If he has he could say "I was pulled from another world and transformed when that Discord guy got out however many months ago" and it'd be truthful and also believable.
8707687
Well he got there when Discord was captured. And I figured that if anyone were sent to an alien world they probably wouldn’t go around saying, “Hello, I’m an alien! Yep! Alien! Now please study me in a lab so we can slowly start a romance!” Which is basically every HiE story ever.
Ha that last line about the weather made me laugh
LMAO
here's some traveling music
8707983
I'm just saying it probably happened a lot before Discord was first statued. They might be used to the idea.
8708057
Only that part? I have failed.
8708345
I raise you the opening themes from My Hero Academia covered by Natewantstobattle.
8708990
Don’t you worry, I’m going to adress stuff like that in the future.
8709066
I like it all it's just that that part made me laugh the most you have not failed
8709177
Not lame!
8709261
Nope it's awesome
What jus happebed
8709265
Yay!
8710563
I ate some chips.
8711329
Your profile pic is creeping me out :)
8712821
You come into MY HOUSE! And insult MY PROFILE PIC! I will scream to the heavens as I backflip slowly into oblivion!
8713138
Also, wonderful story, keep it up its a good read!
8728460
Thanks!