Unexpected Adventure

by WhooshieWoosh

From Man to Dragon

"C'mon, c'mon!"

I sat hunched over my controller as I valiantly fought Ornstein and Smaug. Only one more Estus flask and I still had to deal with the remaining member of the duo. I rolled aside as Smaug's oversized hammer crashed into where my virtual knight had just been standing.

Third times the charm! You won't defeat me Dark Souls!

I grit my teeth as his health bar slowly yet surely was hacked away by my character. Finally, with a suppressed cheer I stood as the boss toppled to the ground.

"Oh ho, suck it! That's how it's done! Not so tough now are you!"

Suddenly, the controller slipped out of my hand. I reached down to pick it up when my hand phased through it. I looked in surprise at my dextrous digits only to see, well, right through them. I slowly started to float and grew frantic.

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I HAVEN'T SAVED YET!"

With a flash of multicolored light I was... well... you guys know the Void from Dishonored? Think that except... if a cartoon adict designed it.

"What the..."

"Hello there! Allow me to introduce myself!"

I turned and saw... you know what, I have no idea what I saw. It had the head of a horse, a lion paw, an eagle claw, a goat hoof, some sort of lizard leg, and a long, scaly tail. It was... like something a kindergartner would draw after they got their little mits on their older sibling's red bull.

"I am Discord! I know, I know, no need to bow and grovel. I am just an ordinary chaos spirit like anyone else."

Suddenly he turned into me except still with the mismatched body. Like somebody stuffed him into a me shaped mold. So... like a scrawny teenage version of himself.

"Uh... what?"

He sat down on a chair (don't ask me where it came from, I don't know.) and motioned for me to take a seat on A THRONE MADE OF SOLID GOLD! I whistled,

"Now that is badass. I like it."

He held a paw to his chest and fluttered his eyes.

"Oh stop it you! You'll make me blush."

And then his whole head turned red. Right, okay, mhm.... Exactly what was in that taco I ate today? He returned to (relatively) normal and looked at me. He held out his lion paw which I then shook (why did I shake it? I didn't tell my arm to move?)

"I don't believe you mentioned your name."

"Uh... Drake, Drake McCain."

He smiled and laughed.

"Oh that's perfect! Nice name!"

I raised an eyebrow. Why wasn't I concerned about the creepy smile?

"Now, you might be wondering why you're so calm right now."

"It had crossed my mind."

"Well, I put an eensy-weensy little spell on you to make sure you didn't do something stupid that would poison our relationship from the start."

Wait, relationship!?

"Uhm... Discord? It is Discord right? I'm... flattered and all but--"

He slapped his palm through his head and began moving his hand like a mouth.

"A business relationship you nincompoop."

I rounded my mouth into an "o" and nodded. He waved his hand causing a screen to appear in front of me. On it was a picture of him... being turned to stone by... was that a rainbow?

"As you can see, I've hit a little bump in my plans and, well, won't be doing much for a little bit."

I nodded. Yeah... being turned to stone would do that.

"So, I used my powers to take a small time out and bring you here. Well, it was more roulette with every human ever on it and, lucky you! You got chosen."

"Thanks?"

He waved his paw dismissively.

"Oh no, thank you. I'm going to be watching you like a tv show as you do... whatever it is you will do. Now, I'm going to drop you off at a latter time and turn you loose to do... whatever you nerds do in those mindless games of yours."

"Hey! Video games aren't mindless! So many have great stories and gameplay! Give them a chance and you'll change your tune!"

He conjured a massive pensil and a tiny notebook and wrote, "play some nerd games" right under "wear a shirt with 'life' on it and give people lemons."

"Fine, but... I'll give you one thing as a boon. Only one thing."

Discord smiled but internally groaned.

So help me if he tries wishing for unlimited wishes I'll turn him into a corn chip in the middle of a room full of crows.

I tapped my chin and hummed. One thing... one thing....

"I want a badass coat! Like the ones you get in Final Fantasy XV for your party members. You know, two rows of buttons, black. Very stylish."

"A... a coat? You want... a coat?!"

I nodded. He sighed and snapped his fingers (er... claws) and suddenly I was enveloped in a flash of light and the smell of burning popcorn.

------------------------------

I sat bolt upright and looked around. I was in some sort of garden sitting under the statue of--

"Oh sweet Pajeebs!"

I had turned to find myself face to face with Discord himself. Except stone. I looked around before wandering over to a fountain. I looked in and--

"What the actual hell."

Dragon! There... there was... I was... a dragon! Blue scales, elliptical pupils, wings, tail, the whole shabbang. I was the same height, but....

"Damn! I am ripped!"

I mean, I looked pretty dang good. I went from scrawny to burly in one second. Discord should sell his product to people everywhere! I mean, I went from toothpick arms and visible ribs to washboard abs and taught muscles. I mean, I guess it made sense. How believable of a dragon would I be if I looked like I could barely hold a controller, let alone do... whatever dragons do. What should I do? And, where was my--

*POP*

I turned as a coat and a backpack landed behind me. The coat... was awesome. Like, exactly what I had in mind. I put it on and realized that there were convenient openings for my new wings to fit through. I looked inside the backpack. Inside was a water bottle, some peanut butter crackers, a map, and a small bag of....

"Holy... these are real gemstones! Like, rubies and stuff!"

Inside the bag was a note written in wonky handwriting.

Dear Drake,

I forgot to mention I was turning you into a dragon. Now, you might not realize this, but dragons need to eat gemstones in order to keep their scales sturdy and their other inside stuff normal. Have a fun day!

-Discord

"Yeah yeah, not to sell. Whatever."

I turned and started looking for... something. I saw a path leading off out of the gardens and rolled my shoulders.

"Alright, lets see what this world is all about."

...how was I so calm about this still?!

Comments

[Note Of A Ghost]

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I HAVEN'T SAVED YET!"

DEAR GOD!!! I couldn't even wish that upon my most hated enemy.

[Mortefleur]

Suddenly, the controller slipped out of my hand. I reached down to pick it up when my hand phased through it. I looked in surprise at my dextrous digits only to see, well, right through them. I slowly started to float and grew frantic.

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I HAVEN'T SAVED YET!"

Spoken like someone who has never played Dark Souls

[WhooshieWoosh]

8247591
I actually have played all the Souls games as well as Bloodborne and trust me... I dread the Ornstein and Smouge boss fight. You spend ages wearing down one of them and then the other gets a huge boost and gets fully healed.

[Radioactive Dragon]

8240894
what if that enemy was Hitler?

[Gear_change]

8267592
Not even Hitler deserves that, a lifetime in hell, yes. BUT THAT IS OVER THE TOP MAN.

[nullvariable]

He conjured a massive pencil and a tiny notebook and wrote, "play some nerd games" right under "wear a shirt with 'life' on it and give people lemons."

[AcrossTheCosmoz]

So far this is really entertaining, a bit random and fast-paced but I'm guessing it's like that for a reason. One thing I really like so far is that the main character keeps asking the question "how am I okay with this?" not many protagonists actually do that in many stories I've read.

Consider my attention grabbed.

[WhooshieWoosh]

8358242
Thanks! I'm glad you like it!

[bluemoon1996]

8247591

Poor lad :( had that happen to me with the abyss watchers. The game crashed in the end of the fight

[WhooshieWoosh]

8605190
Few people will understand the pain. Especially given it typically autosaves a few seconds after you win. But if something happens in those few seconds....

[Frazzle2Dazzle]

So help me if he tries wishing for unlimited wishes I'll turn him into a corn chip in the middle of a room full of crows.

Got it, got it, no wishing for more wishes... But can I at least get that ham sandwich I ordered?

[WhooshieWoosh]

8927996
Unfortunately that’s gonna take a while given most delicatessens don’t deliver here.

[Shadowshame]

8240894
That very much brings anxiety to a head

[Killjoy1221]

I really want him to get in a fight with another dragon and end with his jacket burning up.

[Someguy458]

"NO! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! I HAVEN'T SAVED YET!"

I hate it when that happens.

Off to a good start, can't wait to see where it goes

[Someguy458]

He conjured a massive pensil and a tiny notebook and wrote, "play some nerd games" right under "wear a shirt with 'life' on it and give people lemons."

Do I even need to make the reference?

Also, misspelled 'pencil'.

[Blaze Song]

8606647
Take it from a 90's kid, The times before Auto-Saving was commonplace? dark days, indeed...