I whistled a little song as I walked through the halls of the massive castle I'd been in the garden of. Although, oddly enough, there was nobody in sight. I kept on walking, getting hopelessly lost as I searched for... something. Eventually I reached some big, fancy door and just had to open it. Upon looking in the room, I couldn't believe my eyes. Gold. A whole room full of gold. Coins, bars, and other such riches were piled against the walls reaching almost to the ceiling. My loot-lust kicked in and I started walking around, planning how much I was going to take. My eye caught something on the far wall and I carefully made my way over to it. Sitting on display was a sword. Well, to call it a sword would be like calling a butter knife a dagger. It was long, about as long as my arm completely stretched out and then some. The hilt was long enough for my... claw? And then a bit extra. Making this a hand-and-a-half sword. Where the hilt met the blade two pieces jutted back diagonally away from the blade, forming a small letter "Y." There was a graceful metal guard extending over the hilt on one side and runes on the first few inches of the blade. All in all, it was totally--
"Awesome."
I carefully picked it up and held it like I was preparing to wreck some monsters. I swung it and was surprised at how easily I could manage what should have been a heavy weapon. I looked it over and saw... why was it glowing? Before my very eyes it began to shine with a bright blue light before disappearing.
"Wait... what?! No! I... I want my sword back!"
*Fwoosh*
With a flash, it was back.
...Ooooooooooh.
I hefted it before chucking it to the other side of the room. I thought about wanting it back, and boom, right back with me.
This is so cool. I don't have to bother with a sheath! Oh man, score!
I looked about and realized just how much of a waste it would be if I didn't take some gold with me.
I mean, I'm pretty sure that nobody lives here. If so then there'd be guards and stuff.
I scooped all that I could into convenient little bags I found and loaded up my backpack. With that out of the way, I resumed my search for... I dunno, a king? A servant? A village to save from orcs or something? What was I supposed to do?
I heard cheering and quickened my pace. Soon, I was standing on a balcony a few feet away from some stairs that overlooked a crowd of... of....
"Are those... horses?!"
They were all... horses! But, colorful and... weird. With large eyes and oddly humanoid faces.
Oh man, this is trippy.
I looked down and saw a larger horse with... wings. Wings and a horn. Of course. A uni-sus, or a pegacorn, or... whatever. Before my eyes she raised a hoof and spoke in a clear, yet motherly voice.
"Citizens of Equestria!"
Well at least now I know where I am... sort of.
"I have come before you today to address an issue of growing concern."
The crowd grew silent and many began to whisper.
"As you know, dragons have been encroaching on our land and destroying the homes of innocent ponies. Their destructive, barbaric ways cannot be allowed to continue. I hereby am putting out a reward for any valid report of dragon activity in Equestria, excluding the assistant of my student, Twilight Sparkle--"
A purple unicorn on the stage nodded and a small purple lizard, er, dragon waved nervously to the crowd.
"Now, be warned. This is not something I do lightly. And, under no circumstances should untrained citizens attempt to capture a dragon. If you spot one, inform the Royal Guard and they will apprehend it. I beg of you, be cautious my little ponies."
Oh... they're ponies! Wait... I'm a dragon. Maybe if I... yeah. Alright, I'll calmly walk down there, obviously peaceful and all that, and let then know that the coat-wearing dragon dude is nice. Then, uh... I don't really know. Oh please let this all work out like in a game! She seems reasonable!
I made my way to the top of the stairs and started walking towards the horse queen. Murmurs and gasps rang out so I decided to introduce myself.
"Excuse me, I'm sorry for dropping by unannounced, but allow me to introduce myself. My name is Drake, and I'm--"
One pony screamed in terror.
"DRAGON!"
Suddenly a whole load of armor wearing, spear holding ponies rushed towards me. The big pegacorn looked at me suspiciously.
"What are you doing in Canterlot, dragon?"
"Well, I don't really know. I just kinda found myself here and have been wandering for a bit."
She nodded towards my backpack.
"And what's in the bag?"
Oh... that gold... oh crap. I think I just robbed the queen of the horses. And... did... did she say... Canterlot!? Like... like Camelot except... canter... like a horse!?
I snickered at the obvious pun, unaware that she had light up her horn in a bright yellow glow. She gasped before barking orders to her guards.
"Guards! Seize him! He's attempting to rob us!"
The guards charged me and I turned and ran up the stairs.
Crap! Why couldn't I have left well enough alone! Stupid loot-lust!
I reached the top of the stairs only to find a bunch of angry pegasusus... or... pegasi? Whatever. They had wings, and they were ticked.
"Now, I'm sure we can talk this all out like-- OH GOODNESS! IT'S MONSTROUS!!"
I pointed behind them with a look of fear on my face. They spun around and I took my opportunity. I ran as fast as I could towards an alleyway to the right. Unfortunately, it was about, oooooh... hella feet down. But, I had wings! I lept, gracefully, like a swan in flight... before plummeting towards the ground.
"Oh balls!"
I flailed my libs before landing hard on my feet. It hurt, but... oddly little. Like, that should have broken every bone in my... oooooh, I'm a dragon now. I'm probably like... indestructible!
"After him!"
I turned and saw the pegasus troops take flight. I ran into the alleyway and started making my way towards... somewhere. Honestly, anywhere but jail was good.
I emerged from the alley into the middle of a crowded street. Everyone started to scream and run as more guards ran towards me.
Now would be a great time to figure out how to fly!
I saw some massive gates at the end of the street and ran like I'd never run before. I needed to reach those gates before they shut. Honestly, this new body was awesome! I was so fast! I must have looked epic!
(What everyone saw.)
The blue dragon ran towards the gates, arms flailing like a lunatic And screaming at the top of his lungs,
"MOVE FASTER FEET!"
(Drake's PoV)
The gates were closing, the gap getting smaller and smaller as guards lined up in front if it. I pushed myself to the limit and jumped for all I was worth. I sailed clear over the guards and crossed the threshold of the gates... and missed the drawbridge.
"Aaaaaaaaagh!"
I fell, the sky rushing away as I plummeted out of control towards the bottom of the crack of doom. Any moment now I'd become a greasy spot on the rock below. There was only so much my new body could reasonably take. Goodbye cruel--
*Splash*
I opened my eyes to find I'd landed in some sort of river. I desperately swam towards the surface and breached, gasping for air. I looked back and saw the pegasi flying around the gap... way far away from me. I dove back under and swam as far and as fast as possible.
After what felt like hours of swimming, I crawled onto the bank and sat there gasping.
"That... could have gone better."
I looked around and spotted a comfortable looking tree to sit under and dragged myself towards it. I slung off my backpack and took of my soaked coat. I hung them both up to dry before collapsing exhausted onto the grass below me.
"Well... this has been... fun."
I looked at the setting sun and sighed.
"What I wouldn't do for a bed right now."
I made myself as comfortable as possible before closing my eyes, attempting to get at least some sleep. Tomorrow... I'd figure out what to do tomorrow.
------------------------
"I'm sorry your majesty, he got away."
Celestia sighed as Shining Armor bowed his head. Luna approached and looked to her sister with a worried expression.
"Sister, what shall we do about this thieving wyrm?"
Celestia sighed before conjuring a wanted poster out of thin air with her magic.
"We cannot allow him to go unpunished. The dragons will see it as weakness and redouble their attacks."
She turned to Shining Armor and levitated the poster to him.
"Have these put up in all the places you deem viable."
He nodded before scanning the poster.
~Wanted~
Drake the Dragon
For: thievery and resisting arrest
Reward: 1,000 bits. Caution: he is deemed dangerous and clever. Do not be deceived by his tricks.
Must read More
8239878
I'm working on it, don't you worry.
Hilarious! Can't wait for more!
8240894
I know, right?! It's the worst.
8240924
Hopefully I'll finish the next chapter by today or tomorrow.
Now is he going to stay a dragon or am I going to have to read and find out?
8241103
Stay a dragon. I just don't feel like writing the typical human in Equestria thing.
if it was the river yes it would be softer then ground or rocks... but still it will break bones if hit hard enough
8267624
I figured dragons are made of sturdier stuff than humans.
wait for a second, why am I getting an uncharted vibe from this?
8434934
Huh, I guess they are kinda similar.
So, discord gets stoned and plays Russian rullet with the world instead of a gun, a random guy gets chosen and pulled into a slightly phycadelic void, said guy gets turned into a dragon and sent to equestria where he proceeds to rob Celestia and steal an awesome sword............sounds legit.
8621897
I would probably say something funny in reply but I’m too emotionally distraught because I just finished Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood. I hope you like the story.
Works every time!
8928018
People might not think it but it does.
8928018
I love how this qualfies him as clever in their eyes.
9033148
It doesn’t take much to impress people who think the extent of dragon intelligence is “me dragon! Me am smash building!”
I can't help but to feel a very large sense of OOC when Celestia straight up announced it was now legal to murder dragons. I mean, these are intelligent, sapient creatures, that we've seen to have their own culture and government. And because some of them are bad, she said it's fine to murder all of them for a government reward. My first thought was the SS promising rewards if citizens helped them round up Jews that were in hiding. I can't picture any version of her that would approve something like that, besides maybe Xenolestia from TCB stories.
9181994
I wasn’t exactly trying to say she was announcing “yup, murder time” more “yeah, we aren’t allowing them here anymore. So I’m going to have the guard keep them out and if you see one report it.” I probably just worded it poorly.
9182047 Okay, that's on me more than anything. Somehow, and I blame my recent thirteen hour work day for this, but I read her announcement that she'd be rewarding information on dragon activity as rewarding people bringing her the heads of dragons. I literally don't know how I misread that part that horribly. My apologies, how you've written it is perfectly in character for her. I'm gonna go sleep for a day or two before continuing the story.
9182303
I definitely understand given I work a crap load while also doing 15+ credit hours while trying to maintain good enough grades to keep my scholarship, ergo why I took a break from writing for a while. I’m just too dang busy/ tired.
I can't believe I only touched the first chapter of this and I don't understand why usually when that happens it's because the start takes the story in a direction that I find weird in the context of the world of the story but there is none of that here