Honor and Glory
The worst thing about winding up in the hospital is probably how it wrecks your sleep schedule. Just trust me on this. I’m willing to bet the weird sleeping times earlier are to blame for my being awake now... at like two in the morning.... I’m not being overdramatic. So now I was absent-mindedly pacing the floor while singing under my breath.
“There lived a man on Walkden street, a gentle Irishman, mighty odd. He sang a brogue so rich and sweet. And in all weather he carried the hod. Tim had a sort of a ti-*mumble* in his way for the love of the liquor he was born. It helped him on his work each day, with a drop of the *grumble* every morn!”
“Hop a la do and thence do ye part and round the world ye trudders shake! Isn’t it the truth I tell ya, lots of fun at Finnigan’s wake!”
*Swoosh.*
I spun on my heel to face the griffin at my door. She was obviously a nurse but not one I’d seen before given she had red feathers. She growled,
“Could ya stop!”
“The singing? I thought I was being quiet!”
“Not the singing you codger! The thumpin’ around! Go back to sleep.”
“I can’t!”
She picked up one of the apples from the fruit bowl I’d been given.
“You either go to sleep, or....”
She crushed the apple with one hand.
“I knock ya lights out!”
I closed my mouth and nodded vigorously before carefully making my way back to bed. She nodded.
“Good.... Sleep tight!”
And with that she was gone. I waited to be sure she was gone before shuddering.
“Why are griffin women so aggressive?”
(The next morning)
You know those mornings where you wake up feeling refreshed and relaxed as you watch the sunrise through your window as a chorus of birds sing softly their exuberance over the start of a new day? Me neither. Instead here’s how mine went.
*eye creaks open*
*pterodactile screach of a yawn*
*lip smacking as I try to become semi-cognatively active*
*SLAM*
“Hey wake the f*** up you got stuff to do.”
*SLAM!*
So one mini heart attack later I was carefully rising from my bed. Again, not easy. Once I was standing I put on my coat (I still wasn’t comfortable walking around butt naked) and trudged to the door. It slammed open again and the same delightful nurse as last night and before was there.
“Good, follow me.”
“Where are we—“
“Shut up and follow me.”
I sighed and trudged after her. After a couple turns we reached what must be the main lobby. There waiting was a griffin in uniform. To be honest describing it is difficult so just... picture those coats revolutionary war era soldiers wore crossed with Fullmetal Alchemist army uniforms. It was something like that and a deep blue in color. The griffin nodded his head (I think I’m getting better at determining the genders now) and said,
“Thank ya, Grellod. It’s wonderful ta see ya on sooch a fine day, mah bonny lass.”
The nurse blushed and hid a smirk.
“Shut your beak, Dunsted, or I’ll shut it for you.”
“Ah’d like that very much.”
She couldn’t help but smile at that and gave him a quick kiss. He grinned and asked,
“Koomin’ to tha festival taday?”
“Wouldn’t miss it for all the paid leave in the world.”
She turned to me.
“Alright, beat it you scaly sack of sh—“
“Grellod....”
He raised an eyebrow and rubbed two of his claws together. She sighed.
“You wonderful and pleasant individual with feelings of their own who I respect and appreciate for their individuality.”
“Thas better. Besides, this bloke here’s tha ‘yoo-kno-what.’”
“Yeah, yeah. Just go before I have to smack the sh... crap out of you.”
He grinned.
“Love ya, babe.”
She turned and stalked away before grumbling,
“I love you too, you oversized buffoon.”
Once she was gone the griffin threw a smart salute and addressed me.
“Gamoernin’ to ya, sir. How’d ya sleep?”
“Eh, not bad but not great.”
“Well thas better than nothin. Anyway, I’m here ta escort ya to Jarl Fiadhaich’s place. So unless ya need a potty break or something, let’s hit the road.”
I nodded and we set off. As we navigated the streets I noticed just how empty they were. Although there were more decorations out now.
“Uhhh... hey, um....”
“Dunsted.”
“Dunsted, where is everyone? Also, what time is it?”
“It’s mid-morning, and as for yoor other question, you’ll see.”
I crossed my arms and grumbled,
“That’s reassuring.”
“Relax, you’ll love this.”
“Also not reassuring.”
He grinned and continued walking. It wasn’t long before we entered an alleyway that lead to a large, open-air courtyard that lay before the Jarl’s house. Whereas it had probably been relatively empty before, rows upon rows of tables filled the cobblestone sections and lights hung from the trees growing in the grassy patches.
Griffins, ponies, hippogriffs and other such beings filled the space and spilled out into the surrounding streets. Dunsted tapped my arm and beckoned for me to follow him. As I passed people broke into excited whispers and stared at me.
As we wound our way through the crowd we drew closer and closer to a raised table at the far end of the yard. Standing before it was Jarl Fiadhaich talking to a tall dragon with a longsword sheathed in his belt. Standing beside him was the heavily scarred Einheria. They looked over as Dunsted stood at attention and saluted.
“Jarl Fiadhaich, sir. Ah brought him like you asked.”
Fiadhaich nodded and spoke in his unusually hight voice.
“Ya have mah thanks. Yoor dismissed.”
With a nod Dunsted turned and vanished into the crowd. The three imposing talkers all fixed their eyes on me as Fiadhaich smiled and clapped me on the shoulder.
“Just the dragon ah was hoppin’ tah see. How’re ya doin, mate?”
I shrugged and immediately regretted it. I winced and said,
“I’ve been better.”
“Well ah just want to thank you for all yuh’ve done. Einheria here was just tellin’ me aboot it all, and I have something I want to say.”
Fiadhaich then cleared his throat and climbed onto the dais, dragging me behind him. He raised his head and shouted,
“Citizens of Halvstead! I would like tah take a moment so we can honor the one who made this joyous occasion possible. Standing beside me,” he gestured at me and I nervously waved at the crowd. “Is the brave outsider who risked his own skin to rescue our friends and family. People he dinay even know. And for that, I thank him.”
There were excited cheers and whistles from the onlookers as he shook my hand. He held up a claw and silence returned to the crowd.
“I also wish to do something else. Not only did he help the town, but he helped me personally. If it weren’t for him, I might have ne’re seen my beloved Einheria again. So for that, I embrace him as my kinsman. May friendship and honor flourish between us and our blood forevermore!”
He grabbed me and pulled me into a backbreaking hug. This was made slightly uncomfortable due to his hight and size which caused him to pretty much just smash my face into his (totally massive and rock-hard) pecks. There was raucous applause and cheers as he pulled away and raised my hand in his.
“LET THE FEASTING COMMENCE!”
We stepped down (me very woozily) and Fiadhaich threw his arm around my shoulder.
“Anythin’ you need, I’ll do my best tah help ya. Ya hear?”
I staggered slightly before Einheria propped me up.
“Dear mercy, you’re like some kinda meat mountain! I think you cracked my ribs!”
He guffawed as Einheria’s shoulders shook with silent laughter. I caught my breath before pointing to the two griffins.
“So you two... she’s your wife?”
He drew her close and gazed down on her affectionately.
“Aye, that she is. She’s my lovely little sgiathan.”
“...Your what?”
He waved his claw.
“Shieldmaiden. She’s the first griffin tah ever best me in combat. It was love at first sight.”
I laughed.
“I can see that. She’s a total badass.”
The smile fell from his face.
“What. Did. You. Say.”
I froze, a cold pit forming in my stomach.
“That... that she was a b-badass.”
“And....”
He cracked his neck menacingly.
“—pray tell what that means.”
I put my hands up in a placating gesture.
“It means like, awesome or cool. At least, where I’m from it does!”
He froze and thought for a bit before smiling.
“Yeah... I like that.”
He wheeled around and bellowed.
“MY WIFE IS BADASS! THAT MEANS SHE’S AWESOME!”
Cheers erupted followed by the clinking of cups.
“BADASS! BADASS! BADASS!”
He laughed and gestured for me to follow.
“Come, let’s not stand about while everyone else eats.”
I followed them until there was a loud *ahem!*
We all jumped and turned to face the dragon from before. Despite him being a head taller than the Jarl, somehow he had gone unnoticed. Fiadhaich sighed and said,
“Ah forgot you were here. What do you need?”
The dragon scowled and straightened his black military jacket. He was a very beefy dragon with purple scales and red eyes, so needless to say I was quailing under his glare. He spoke with a quiet, gruff voice.
“As I was saying, I’m still here because of him.”
He pointed at me.
“I looked into it and he’s here illegally.”
Fiadhaich looked at me with confusion.
“Yah don’t have any papers?”
I slowly shook my head before shrugging.
“In my defense it never even crossed my mind. Gerhman never mentioned it.”
Fiadhaich looked past me and huffed.
“Speak of the devil.... OI! BARD! GET OVER HERE!”
There was a scramble of paws and Gerhman skid to a halt before the Jarl.
“You ra— SWEET SKORVAR!”
He jumped when he saw the dragon. Before he could talk Fiadhaich huffed.
“Why would you bring Cain here illegally?”
Gerhman blinked in confusion before dawning comprehension bloomed across his face.
“Oh, Odin.... So that’s what I was forgetting. That... that’s my bad.”
I crossed my arms.
“Yeah, definitely your bad.”
Fiadhaich turned to the dragon.
“Can’t I give him a pardon or something?”
He shook his head.
“It’s in King Cróga’s hands now. I’ll tell him everything and we’ll see what he says. Good day to you all.”
He inclined his head to each of us before leaping into the sky. Fiadhaich ran a claw over his face and sighed wearily as Einheria rubbed his shoulder. Meanwhile Gerhman was trying not to be seen as hard as he could. I coughed and asked,
“So... who was the ray of sunshine?”
Fiadhaich sighed,
“That... was Naegling, the King’s right hand. He’s His Majesty’s bodyguard and personal warrior. Don’t worry. He might seem harsh but he’ll present your case fairly, so don’t worry.”
“So... what does that mean, the whole ‘being here illegally’ thing?”
He shrugged.
“It’s no big deal. It pretty much means you’re not allowed to leave Halvstead until this all gets sorted out.”
I huffed,
“Thanks Mr. Dragon dude.”
“You should be grateful to him. In fact, he’s the one who came to the rescue of you and Einheria.”
I briefly remembered the silhouette with the longsword that had eviscerated the bandits and shuddered.
“Glad he wasn’t fighting against me. So... King’s right hand, huh? There’s bound to be some stories about him.”
Fiadhaich shrugged.
“Ask your friend about it later. I’m sure he’ll tell you all about him. Anyway, let’s get back to business. More importantly, the feast.”
He beckoned once again and our group moved to the table. He pointed to the chair right next to his and motioned for me to sit. Einheria moved to the chair beside me and Gerhman sat to his left beside the griffin I’d seen with Fiadhaich when we first met. Presumably some kinda general or something. I looked from my chair to Einheria’s before tapping her shoulder.
“Do you wanna swap seats with me so you can sit with your husband?”
Einheria looked stunned and made an obviously disbelieving gesture. I nodded.
“Seriously. Take my seat. You two lovebirds have been separated for days. You should sit together.”
She stared at me and a tear welled in her eye before she blinked it away and hugged me tight about the middle. I chuckled.
“Seriously, it’s no big deal.”
“Ah don’t think you realize how big a deal it really is.”
I looked over and saw that the Jarl was looking at me, stunned. He continued.
“To sit at my right hand at a feast is the highest honor I can give. Are you really going to give that up?”
I paused before nodding.
“Yeah, I will. You two should be able to sit together.”
His expression softened and he raised his cup in a toast.
“To your health.”
I scooped up my cup and raised it as well.
“Here, here.”
We both drained our respective cups and I almost gagged. Whatever this drink was it tasted pretty funky. Kinda sweet but also a bit... spicy. Like peppers in honey mixed with... something. I grimaced but smiled and nodded to the Jarl. He gave me a thumbs up before bellowing,
“BRING OUT... THE FEAST!”
This caused even more cheers to erupt over the already boisterous chatter of the feastgoers. Cooks came streaming out of the Jarl’s house laden with trays piled high with food. I saw pies, roasts, bread, vegetable dishes, and desserts of all sizes go racing by before some was set at our table. So far I saw some kinda massive roast bird, a pot pie, a platter of mushrooms cut to look like flowers and other such plants, a whole parade of BBQ meats and sausages, and by now my head was spinning as I tried to take it all in. A server refilled my cup and I mumbled a quick thanks as I followed the example of my tablemates and began filling up my plate with anything I could get my hands on. So far I had taken a couple pieces of assorted bread, various meats and sausages, a slice of pie, and a sampling of the various potatoes offered in abundance. With all that I had barely even put a dent in the assortment of food available.
I was taking a drink of the weird beverage (which admittedly was growing on me) when Fiadhaich raised his goblet.
“And now, as is tradition on this most joyous day, we shall hear the recitation of the legend of the griffin Stoirm-Lann One-Eye and the mare Bratach Silver-Mane.”
I glanced around at the decorations as Gerhman took center stage. Sure enough the banners were emblazoned with Gaelic-style depictions of a griffin and a pony. There was a sudden silence and Gerhman began.
“Long ago, when Gaisgeil was still young, conflict raged between the griffins and the ponies that dwelt there. Both claimed the land to be theirs, and neither were willing to leave. For years skirmishes had broken out only to end in uneasy peace, but that ended with the tragedy at Caern Ford.”
“There, a young griffin named Denaer and a pony named Truncheon died under mysterious circumstances in those cold waters. Both sides blamed the other for the deaths of those two youth, and full fledged war raged across the land. The conflict seemed as though it would never end. Neither side could gain the upper hand, and neither side would surrender. It was at one of these battles that took place in the Brachenrock Mountains that Stoirm-Lann, knight of the griffins; and Bratach, the cloud walker met.”
“On the side of the mountain these two warriors fought with their siblings-in-arms until an avalanche caused by their rage swept them all into a treacherous ravine. Only two survived, Stoirm-Lann and Bratach. They awoke to find themselves lying next to eachother, trapped under a boulder. Stoirm-Lann’s wing was broken and his eye ruined; Bratach’s leg was twisted and her side bore a deep gash. They both realized that alone they would die in that Odin forsaken ravine. And so, a fragile accord was struck. They would help eachother only until they could reach safety.”
“Together they freed themselves from under the rock, and then they each helped the other to bind up their wounds. Stoirm-Lann set Bratach’s leg and stitched up her side and in turn she splinted his wing and bound his maimed eye. With the mare on his back and with her guiding them, the two enemies wearily journeyed through the mountains.”
“Night fell, and with it came biting winds of freezing cold. To sleep, exposed as they were, would be the doom of the pair, so they kept eachother awake by swapping stories. Stories of battles won, of rivers crossed, of mountains flown over, and of home. Slowly, without either realizing it, enmity became respect, and respect grew to understanding, and understanding to fondness.”
“With each story, Stoirm-Lann became infatuated with Bratach’s beauty, her free spirit, and her gentle heart. While Bratach grew fond of his courage, his strength, and with the fierce loyalty he felt to his people. They came to realize that neither was as alien as they had thought. That both bore great love for their land and their family. Indifferent shoves became gentle caresses, gruff words turned to soft encouragement, and unwilling proximity became tender closeness. Until, in the dead of night, their eyes met and, slowly, timidly, the battle-hardened knight took the warrior mare into his arms and they shared a forbidden kiss.”
“From then on their hearts were one. They traveled together about the country, sharing their story and spreading their message. That ponies and griffins could share Gaisgeil and live together on the land of their ancestors. It took many years, but slowly more and more of the former enemies let bitterness die and allowed peace to take its place. Enemies because brothers, and foes became friends.”
“And so, every year, we gather together on the day Stoirm-Lann and Bratach were wed to celebrate the unity and peace that healed this land, and to remember the mistakes of our forebears so that the country we love shall never again be rent by the torment of war. Long live Gaisgeil! And may brotherhood forever tie together all those whole dwell within her borders.”
Gerhman bowed and everyone cheered. I clapped my hands as I leaned over to Einheria and said,
“That was beautiful, freaking beautiful.”
Gerhman gestured to the top of the Jarl’s home and a large tapestry was unfurled that showed a griffin and a pony with their foreheads pressed together under two crossed swords, both of which were tied together by a rose.
“TO GAISGEIL!”
We all raised our cups and repeated the cry.
“TO GAISGEIL!”
As I drained my cup again musicians began to play and those who had eaten their fill began to dance and sing. With my head swimming oddly I staggered over to Gerhman and clapped him on the shoulder.
“That... wash real good.”
I grabbed another cup from a passing server and chugged it before hiccuping.
“Thish... whatever it is ish really weird. But it’s kinda tashty.”
“Uh... mate, that’s mead.”
“Mead? Like... alcohol mead?”
I swayed in place as he nodded.
“Uh... yeah. Cain, buddy, how much have you drank?”
I crossed my eyes and frowned.
“Welp... I think it wash like... six. My food wesh real salty.”
Gerhman turned around and began to scan the crowd.
“You stand there while I find somebody to watch you. In fact, why don’t you go sit... Cain? CAAAIIIN! Oh crap, now I gotta go track down my sloppy-ass drunk dragon friend.”
(The following morning)
My head felt like it was about to explode and I could feal my pulse in my brain. Also, my tongue felt oddly thick and hairy. At least my pillow was super soft and warm. I wrapped my arms around it and snuggled my cheek into it... and it yawned.
I felt something drop onto my back and wrap around my neck before a voice hummed,
“G’mornin.”
I cracked an eye open and slowly looked up to see that I was hugging a griffin lady with redish-brown feathers with gold highlights on the tips. I opened and closed my mouth a few times before something stirred across my back and a curtain of strawberry-scented hair the color of red-wine covered my face and something equine pressed against my neck.
“Dein Nacken ist so warm und bequem.”
I froze before croaking,
“What... the... Hell.”
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8928121
Oh well... Can I at least get some of that bottled muscle Drake was talking about?
8928123
And how greatfui I am that it does... Saves a lot of time fighting low-levels.
8928131
That's kinda the plan to give me one, or for it to be 'Agent MacGuffin'?
Damn, I thought he was getting shipped with Ember eventually? Good chapter either way.
Looks like someone got lucky last night.
8928247
I’ll contact shipping and see what I can do.
8928458
My dude, I’ve got years worth of story left to write. Patience, my friend.
8928492
Sure looks like it doesn’t it.
8928538
Hope they don't go to voicemail again...
8928540
Damned son, how long you been planning?
Uh oh.
8928663
Probably not. You’ll just see a delivery frog at your front door some day.
8928967
You don’t want to know.
bruh why i trusted you to not cliff me bro. good chapter though hope to see more soon
8929215
Sure it'll be frog? It could be a small toad.
8929646
I really couldn’t think of a good way to end it otherwise, and it was starting to get late so I just hung it out there.
8929893
We’ve been having problems with witches stealing the toads for potions so we only use frogs now.
8929930
Shame... Well, they have to maintain a warty complexion somehow.
8929927
meh not that upset it was still a good chapter
8929978
That’s just economics. Gotta have those potions to remain acceptably witchy.
8930359
I hope to not have to cliffhang in the future.
Lol he got laid by a griffin and a pony