you've actually made her, not only bearable, but actually likable. me wonders if you're gonna go with a slow uptake to the smex or just fleur getting what she wants.
Your opening was beautiful written you shown skillful use of description and tone.
I love human x pony romances and find Sam quite likable he is just going though the flow, not at the least bit shocked by talking ponies. Though I do wish he didn't kiss Fleur so quickly but wait a little, tease her make her want it. the kiss could have been done better, it felt rushed to me.
8184937 Well, Fleur was being a little mischievous. Seeing what he'd do. Sam's just thinking he's learning how ponies great each other in Canterlot as she stated.
Fair warning, I had two people look look over all of the French in this story, but I myself can't speak a lick of the language. So, if you see any mistakes calm your tits and just pm me please.<-- did any not see that lol didnt even get to read the 1st word of the story
this story is starting really good I love the first chapter. on a side not I am also interested in the fact you are using Squirrel Hill in your story. as I have been threw not only Squirrel Hill but the Squirrel Hill tunnel many times.
Would he kiss her cheeks? Perhaps he’d go for a peck on the forehead? Maybe a kiss on the nose? To both her delight and amusement, he did none of those things. Instead, he leaned forward and planted two quick pecks right on her lips.
No matter how hard she tried, she shouldn’t hold back the laughter.
“Oh my, how forward,” she said, tittering.
Sam reddened.
“What? Did I do it wrong?” he demanded.
“Kissing a mare you just met? What will ponies say?”
Sam, now as red as a tomato, flinched. “Hey, I told you that I wouldn’t know how to do it right!”
This only caused Fleur to laugh harder, a pleasant warmth filling her. “Oh, I’m sure you don’t~”
Ten out of fucking ten. That is a perfect moment in fanfiction authorship right there. Absolutely flawless!
Comment posted by ThatNoobPony deleted Nov 14th, 2017
Fair warning, I had two people look over all of the French in this story, but I myself can't speak a lick of the language. So, if you see any mistakes calm your tits and just pm me please.
Hey, uh, just wanted to point out: by actually including stuff like that you're already on top. ;]
Does it say bad things about the quality of the crap I read when I appreciate you not spelling Fleur de Lis' name as "Fleur Dis Lee"?
Would he kiss her cheeks? Perhaps he’d go for a peck on the forehead? Maybe a kiss on the nose? To both her delight and amusement, he did none of those things. Instead, he leaned forward and planted two quick pecks right on her lips...
The stallion nodded, adjusting his glasses. “A stallion by the name of Svengallop asked me to come and fetch you. He said that you were running very late for an appointment.”
The supermodel’s brow furrowed. “Non, you must be mistaken. It's only been—”
Fleur gasped and her eyes widened as she looked up at the clocktower. It was almost nine o'clock; she had missed her appointment with Hoity Toity by an hour.
“Seigneur...” she said, looking blankly over the crowd. Had she really been that distracted? She'd never been late before, not since she was a little filly.
This reminds me of the time in undergrad where I missed class because I was engrossed in conversation with a cutie that I met at lunch. By the time I checked the time, class was like 3/4 of the way through, and I was out of uniform. I sprinted out and try to make it to my dorm to change into uniform and get to class. By the time I got to my room, there was like 3 minutes left in class. Hindsight 20/20, I should have wrote it off, and kept talking. Worst part is that I didn't get her number on the way out, and if I did, I couldn't remember her name. Never saw her again.
Sign me the fuck up; instant like and fave!
what the fuck
what the fuck.
you've actually made her, not only bearable, but actually likable. me wonders if you're gonna go with a slow uptake to the smex or just fleur getting what she wants.
Instant fav.
I really like the cover art for some reason.
Your opening was beautiful written you shown skillful use of description and tone.
I love human x pony romances and find Sam quite likable he is just going though the flow, not at the least bit shocked by talking ponies. Though I do wish he didn't kiss Fleur so quickly but wait a little, tease her make her want it. the kiss could have been done better, it felt rushed to me.
A favorite
8184937
Well, Fleur was being a little mischievous. Seeing what he'd do. Sam's just thinking he's learning how ponies great each other in Canterlot as she stated.
Fair warning, I had two people look look over all of the French in this story, but I myself can't speak a lick of the language. So, if you see any mistakes calm your tits and just pm me please.<-- did any not see that lol didnt even get to read the 1st word of the story
I just fell in love just from reading the first chapter. Following
I like this story
the first chapter was like a kick in the balls, you got my attention
Id hardly call it little...
It amuses me because I live in Pittsburgh right now.
I can now not un-visualize his voice as Scout's
8203292 "Here's a schematic for ya - MY ASS!"
My god, this is perfect XD!!
this story is starting really good I love the first chapter.
on a side not I am also interested in the fact you are using Squirrel Hill in your story.
as I have been threw not only Squirrel Hill but the Squirrel Hill tunnel many times.
So bold Sam!
I wonder how this will develop.
8242554
Reminds me of a few anime characters.
Who was that guy in Familiar of Zero?
8207862
beaten to the punch again by you I swear if I didn't slack off I would have gotten here before you!
Loving this!
How the H E double hockey sticks did I not know about this? Me, a fellow Fleur writer and enthusiast! Must remedy with a like and a fave!
Ten out of fucking ten. That is a perfect moment in fanfiction authorship right there. Absolutely flawless!
I mean, he should have at least guessed that the lips weren't his target.
That was pretty fucking great
Hey, uh, just wanted to point out: by actually including stuff like that you're already on top. ;]
Does it say bad things about the quality of the crap I read when I appreciate you not spelling Fleur de Lis' name as "Fleur Dis Lee"?
Whilst you're a "model pony", in multiple meanings of the word. Nice wordplay!
This one scene was gold~ ha!
I love this story
Missing word Ch. Un -C'est la vie
This reminds me of the time in undergrad where I missed class because I was engrossed in conversation with a cutie that I met at lunch.
By the time I checked the time, class was like 3/4 of the way through, and I was out of uniform. I sprinted out and try to make it to my dorm to change into uniform and get to class.
By the time I got to my room, there was like 3 minutes left in class.
Hindsight 20/20, I should have wrote it off, and kept talking.
Worst part is that I didn't get her number on the way out, and if I did, I couldn't remember her name.
Never saw her again.