Equestria Heroes: The 3Ds (starring: Spike, Discord, and Big Mac)

by Phantom-Dragon

Whatever Happened to Queen Atta?

In the dark of the night, three figures clad in dark clothes were scaling the side of a tall rugged mountain, located in a desert region, under the moon's mystic gaze. The three figures are none other than the heroic 3 Dudes.

"I prefer you refer to us as the 3Ds, thank you very much." – Discord.

Upon reaching the top, Discord was the first to jump into action, "Hi-ya!" Discord screamed, as he stood in the moonlight, don up in ninja garbs, throwing kicks, punches, and chops, when suddenly Spike and Big Mac – who were also dressed in ninja costumes – sprang from behind and crashed into the draconequus.

When the dusts cleared up, Discord was on the floor, tapping his fingers, unamused, with Spike and Big Mac piled on top of him, "Sorry Discord," Spike groaned. "But don't say we didn't warn you. We make lousy ninjas."

"Eeyup," Big Mac agreed.

"Get off!" Discord groaned, shoving the boys off of him.

After composing themselves, the three boys quietly crawled along the rocky ledges of the mountain's wall, before slowly peering over the rocks to see a huge fortress in front of them.

"That must be the fortress Princess Celestia's told us about," Spike whispered. "The Myrmidon's Fortress! It's where they serve and protect their queen!"

"Eeyup."

"Too bad it's become more of her prison than a home, now hasn't it?" Discord mumbled, as they recalled the conversation they had with Princess Celestia.

---

Earlier

After receiving the message from Princess Celestia, the boys quickly appeared in Canterlot Castle's throne room, in a flash of light.

"We're here, Princess Celestia!" Spike and the boys saluted. "What's the word? What are the Myrmidons up to now?"

"Where are they holding Fluttershy?" Discord asked.

"At ease boys," Princess Celestia reassured. "I'm sorry, but I still haven't found where Princess Porcina is, nor the girls. The only lead we have now are the Myrmidons."

The boys all exchanged looks of confusions, "Uh, if you don't mind me asking, Princess Celestia," Spike began. "But just how exactly are the Myrmidons gonna help us find the girls and all the other missing ponies?"

"I'm with the dragon on this," Discord joined in. "I've known the Myrmidons for centuries, and I don't think we can just walk up to them and ask 'Hey ant monsters. How've you been? Where're you keeping Fluttershy? You gonna tell us or what?'" He mocked. "I don't think they're gonna give us straight answer, just because we asked."

"You're right, they won't," The sun princess answered. "So I believe we'll get all of our answers, straight from Queen Atta herself."

"Queen Atta?"

"Like I said before, she's the queen of the Myrmidons, and a friend of mine," Princess Celestia explained. "I've been trying to contact her for many days now, but I can't seem to get a word through to her. Something must've happened to her."

"Oh, I see what you're getting at now," Discord nodded, before he turns to the readers. "And I also know where this is going."

"So what are we going to do about it?" Spike asked.

"I need you boys to get into the Myrmidon's fortress in the San Palomino Desert and find out what you can about Queen Atta." Princess Celestia answered.

"Us?!" The dudes exclaimed in bewilderment. "Why us?"

"Because my troops have spread too thin around Equestria. I cannot afford to lose anymore to the ants. I can't think of anyone else more qualified than you three," Princess Celestia answered. "That and you boys have made quite the reputation for getting in and out of troubles very easily and very humorously."

---

Present

"Who knew, we have a reputation?" Spike asked, with Big Mac nodding in agreement.

"Eeyup."

"Shhh! Quiet!" Discord shushed, as he transfigures his eyes into binoculars and looked down to see several ant guards patrolling.

"So what's the plan to get in?" Spike asked.

"Simple," Discord answered. "We're going to need someone big and strong to lead us in there."

"Eeyup."

"Someone who's very quiet."

"Eeyup."

"Very, very quiet."

"Eeyup."

"Someone who can listen more, and talk less."

"Eeyup."

"Someone like a certain someone."

"Ee.....oh," Big Mac finally gets it, when he saw Spike and Discord glancing at him. "M-M-Me?"

"Y-Y-Yes you," Discord answered. "C'mon, Big M. Isn't this what you would do for lil'Apple Bloom and Applejack? OH! And let's not forget, sweet Sugar Belle?"

"Uhhhh...." Looking back at the fortress, Big Mac dons up a determined look. "Alright!" He muttered. "I'll go in there for Applejack! For Equestria! Evil pigs or no evil pigs. Ants or no ants. I'll buck 'em and beat 'em up like I do at Apple Orchards! I may not come out in one piece, but I'm goin' in! There's just one thing I want you guys to do for me."

"What's that?" Spike and Discord asked.

"Talk me out of it!" With that, the stallion attempted to make a run for it, if it hadn't been for his two friends keeping their promise and talking him out of escaping.

---

Some of the patrolling guards were chatting amongst themselves, exchanging clicking sounds from their pincers, when a rock was thrown from afar and landed in the middle of their group circle. Startled, the guards sprang into action, weapons at the ready as they didn't waste a second to scan the area for intruders.

Hissing dangerously, the vicious ant creatures proceeded to advance in the direction from where the rock was thrown.

"Now!" A voice whispered as the Three Dudes slipped past the guards, unnoticed.

"Whew, I can't believe that worked," Spike panted. "Nice thinking back there, Big Mac."

"I told you it's a good idea to for him to lead us," Discord smirked. "You didn't doubt me, did you?" Spike and Big Mac were about to answer, "Don't answer that yet. We're not done. Let's keep moving. The sooner we get to the queen, the quicker we can get outta here."

Nodding their heads in agreement, Spike and Big Mac join their chaotic friend as they resume the task at hoof. Once inside, the Three Dudes were greeted by countless of caverns and tunnels carved along the walls, the floors, and the ceilings.

"Oh dear," Spike moaned.

"You could say it's a-maze-ing," Discord joked.

Spike and Big Mac both turned their attention to the draconequus, "Really Discord?" Spike asked. "How can you make pun at a time like this?"

"Well excuse me, but it's my nature," Discord snarked. "Besides, Pinkie would've done the same." Unable to argue with that, the boys resumed their focus back on the mission.

"Quick! Hide behind that rock!" Big Mac whispered, to which the boys all did just that.

Several Myrmidon guards soon appeared, patrolling the tunnels and they passed the rock the dudes were hiding behind. One of the guards, however, turned his head, as if he suspected something's wrong.

"Uh oh. That one's onto us!" Spike whispered, before he was quickly silenced by Discord and Big Mac covering his mouth.

After a moment, the guard was on his way, "Or not," Discord smiled, before they turned to Big Mac.

"So where to now?" Spike asked.

Big Mac was just about to answer, "This is the part where I take over," Discord interrupted. "I know this fortress like the back of my eagle talon. We sneak our way, pass the guards, make our way up to the throne room, find the queen and convince her to stop helping Princess Porcina and give back Fluttershy. Then we'll be back home to Ponyville before dinnertime!"

"Eeeeee....uh.......eeyup," Big Mac agreed.

"Great," Spike began. "So where is the throne room, and how do we get there?"

"Simple, follow me," Discord instructed as he lead the dudes down a tunnel.

For what felt like hours, Discord lead the dudes down through several winding tunnels of the Myrmidon's fortress, evading guards, uncovering secret passageways, and avoiding deadly traps, though there were a few close calls.

"Dudes! Get down!" Discord exclaimed, pulling both his boys to the ground, just as a troop of Myrmidon guards passed by.

The boys watched as the guards disappearing into another tunnel, while passing by a large door, decorated with bright, vibrant colors on the front, "There! That's the throne room!" Discord pointed.

"Are you sure, Discord?" Spike asked. "It looks kinda...."

"What? Fancy? Rustic?"

"Unguarded. You think the queen would at least have some guards outside."

"Eeyup." Big Mac agreed.

"We'll worry about that later," Discord dismissed, as he beckons the boys. "Now let's go in there and talk to the queen!" With that, the dudes all sprang up to their feet as they made a quick dash for the throne room. Spike knocked on the door just slightly, before he and Big Mac waited for a response. "We don't have time for this! Hi-yah!" Discord screamed, breaking the doors open with a strong karate kick.

"Discord?!" Spike exclaimed, as he and Big Mac poked their heads from both sides of the doorway, shocked at what the draconequus just did.

"Alright Queen Atta!" Discord boomed. "It is I! Discord the incredibly suave, talented, courageous, and absolutely handsome master of chaos! And, eh what the?" Discord and his fellow dudes were bewildered to see the throne room was completely empty. "Hey! Where's the queen?"

Spike and Big Mac looked around the room and were perplexed to find no trace of the Myrmidon's Queen Atta, "I thought you said the queen would be here," Spike said.

"I did!" Discord replied. "I mean, she's got to be here. Where else could she be?"

Big Mac walked up to the empty throne, inspecting it for clues, which he found in the form of a glass ball, "Hey dudes!" Big Mac whispered. "Check this out!"

The boys quickly gathered around Big Mac, "It's just a glass orb," Discord shrugged. "So what?"

Spike took a closer look at the orb, before his eyes widened in realization, "Hey! Wait a minute! That's the same–"

Suddenly, the sound of hissing and chatters filled the air, as the boys turned their head to the doorway to see a whole swarm of Myrmidon troops flooding into the room. And from the looks on their faces, the ant creatures are not too happy to have intruders in their fortress, let alone their queen's empty throne room.

The Myrmidons all pointed their spears threateningly at the dudes, "Wait, wait a minute!" Spike shouted. "We're not here for trouble! We're–"

Unfortunately, none of the Myrmidons were listening as one of them angrily juts his spear forward, while emitting a threatening hiss with his antenna and snaps aggressively with his pincers.

"I don't think they're listening to us!" Big Mac whimpered. "Let alone understand us!"

"Don't worry, I speak Myrmidons," With that, Discord transfigured his head into an ant as he makes the same clicks and chatters the ant creatures make. In response, the Myrmidons chattered angrily.

"What did you say?" Spike asked.

"I think I might've called their mother a friggin aardvark," Discord explained. "And the fact that aardvarks eat ants, they took it as an offense."

The Myrmidons all pointed their spears at the dudes threateningly, "Shall we run?" Spike asked.

"Eeyup," Big Mac answered.

"Okay dudes!" Discord began, donning up his ninja mask as he shouts, "TOO ACTION!!"

Ditching his ninja outfit to the side, Big Mac dons up a football helmet and picks up Spike, "Hut, hut, hut, hut!" With that, the red strong stallion barged his way through the swarm of huge ant creatures, knocking them to the side, with Discord running behind them.

"Sorry I couldn't be of some help to you dudes," Discord frowned. "Naturally, I would've obliterated them with a snap of my finger, but as of late, I've been sensing more and more powerful magics in the air that are cutting off my magics! I'll give you one guess for who is responsible."

"Now's not the time, Discord!" Spike replied. "We just need to get out of this place and fast!"

"Eeyup!"

However, the dudes didn't get far, when they were suddenly snatched from behind a stone pillar and dragged to the side.

"Hey what–" The three dudes all struggled to break free, as they were dragged away into the darkness of a tunnel, until at last, they were in a dimly lit room, surrounded by several more Myrmidon guards and a slightly shorter one.

"Shh! It's okay! I'm on your side!" The Myrmidon reassured.

"Whoa! You can speak english?" Spike asked.

"Yes I can speak english," The Myrmidon replied. "I happened to be the Goodwill Ambassador for the Myrmidons, as well as Queen Atta. I am Flick, at your service."

The Three Dudes both exchanged looks with each other. They never expected a Myrmidon, like Flick, to be so well-mannered, "Well, nice to meet ya, Flick," Spike returned the greeting. "I'm–"

"I know who you guys are," Flick replied. "You're the Three Heroes of Equestria. I've been hearing a lot of stories about you guys. Though, no offense, but you're less than orthodox compared to what the rest of our soldiers had described ya."

"Once again, our reputation precedes us," Discord commented.

"Okay, so you know us," Spike replied. "But what we want to know is why are you all doing this? Why are you capturing ponies, including our friends? Why are you working for Princess Porcina?"

"We're not working for Princess Porcina," Flick answered. "Our service is to the queen, and only the queen! But the problem is that arrogant pig has captured the queen!"

"Captured her? How?"

"Yeah, I thought you guys were supposed to patrol the blocks and protect your queen from danger, 24/7!" Discord added.

"We don't know how she did it," Flick replied. "But she did it. And we've been forced to do her biddings ever since, because if we don't, she would hurt Queen Atta!"

Needless to say, the Three Dudes were shocked, if not, disgusted.

"That's awful!" Spike said.

"That is low, even for her!" Discord added. "Actually, it's not as lower than kidnapping Fluttershy, but still, it's a new low for her."

"Eeyup."

"But then, what about you?" Spike asked. "Why didn't you try and stop them, and persuade your fellow colony otherwise?"

"I tried to!" Flick replied. "Me and some of my friends have been trying to convince our soldiers to seek help from Princess Celestia, and your friends, the Elements of Harmony. But they wouldn't listen. They're too focus on serving Porcina to save Queen Atta!"

The dudes all nodded in acknowledgement, before all three heroes turned to each other, exchanging looks and nods, before they turned back to Flick and his fellow Myrmidon resistance.

"Well, I'm sorry to say, but you're gonna have to kiss your queen goodbye," Discord said, earning two elbow strikes to his stomach. "What? I thought that's what we all agreed on."

"Eenope!" Big Mac frowned.

"Ignore him," Spike began. "Look, we're not exactly Twilight and the girls. But we are their friends. And if Twilight were here, she'd insist on helping you guys get your queen back. And besides, neither of us like Princess Porcina. So maybe if you guys can help us save our friends, then we can help you guys save your queen. What do you say?"

Flick and his Myrmidon guards both exchanged clicks with their pincers, and vibrations with their antennas, just as the other Myrmidon arrived.

Comments

[Godslittleprincess]

Ooh, those A Bug's Life references were wonderful.