"BAD PONY!" Rainbow Dash yelled.
SMACK!
"Ooww, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Sunset Shimmer cried.
"Well you better be!" Rainbow Dash finished with a loud huff before groaning loudly and walking a few steps away, handing the rolled magazine over to Applejack, who looked equally as bemused as her. As all of her friends, for that matter, though some were more vocal about their feelings than others. As requested, all other Rainbooms (and Sci-Twi) came to see her at the warehouse eventually and were rightfully freaked out to see Sunset, their Sunset Shimmer, lying on the floor, beaten up, bloodied, with disheveled hair and ruined clothes. Except the jacket, it was spotless as ever. It took her a while to calm everyone down enough to be able to explain her recent adventure. During the explanation, their faces changed from concerned, to confused, to slightly annoyed to the way they were now. She knew they weren't going to be happy to hear it, but they still managed to surprise her.
SMACK!
With a paper bat that hurt like hell!
"Oww, I said I was sorry!" Sunset massaged her head after Applejack’s mighty swing.
"Please stop squirming." Fluttershy said in the least Fluttershyish tone she has ever heard her say. Not quite angry, but decidedly less gentle, even as she was carefully wiping blood from Sunset’s face with a gauze from Rarity's first-aid kit.
"Ah heard ya loud an'clear!" Applejack said, flailing the paper bat dangerously near Sunset’s face. "We jus' wanna know what da heck did ya think you were doin'?"
"I'm sor-" she stopped herself when Applejack’s stare hit her. Geez, I thought only Fluttershy was able to do it. She sighed with her shoulders slumped. "I-I didn't want to... endanger any of you... meep!"
"By risking your own life even more?" Now it was Rarity's turn to lash at her, as she walked over and claimed the weapon from Applejack and pointed it at Sunset's face. "What made you think you were safer alone than together with all of us?"
"Umm... she could've been a... changeling..."
Rarity's eyebrow twitched. "And was she?"
Sunset swallowed, feeling smaller than ever. "No, but..."
SMACK!
"Oww!"
"Sunset, darling, we do understand what you were trying to achieve. Suppose that Magical Girl Sunny did turn out to be a changeling, she could have used our Power of Friendship against us. We understand that part. But what we would like to know is WHY you didn't bother to tell us anything and went alone to fight her!"
"B-because..."
Rarity smacked the paper bat on her hand, raising an eyebrow. "Choose your next words carefully."
Sunset Shimmer swallowed. "Uhm, be-because... you would've stopped me..."
SMACK!
"Owww!"
"Of course we would have stopped you! You were going on a suicide mission alone, without anyone knowing, armed only with two hastily made magical gizmos!"
"I-I also took Pinkie's batter gun!" Sunset hopefully announced, turning towards Pinkie Pie. "And it worked very well! It saved my life and helped me turn the tide!"
"You're welcome, Sunny Bunny!" Pinkie Pie beamed. "But don't change the subject, I'm just as angry!" More like 'slightly less cheery but still smiling brightly', which for Pinkie standards had to be quite severe.
"Yeah, I figured..."
Rarity continued. "Sunset, what if, heavens forbid, something bad... well, worse happened to you? What if she was a lot stronger than she appeared? Or if she had someone to help her? How do you think we would feel if you disappeared without a trace for a long time while there's a clone of you running around? We would've been worried sick about you!"
"Y-yeah!" Fluttershy shouted, with Twilight nodding.
"And there wouldn't be a restraint strong enough to keep Rainbow Dash and Applejack from tearing the city apart, block by block!"
"Damn straight!" Rainbow shouted, with Applejack nodding.
"And let's not even theorize what Princess Twilight would bring with her from Equestria! Or how many space-time laws she'd have to break to get here on such short notice!"
Sunset sighed deeply, her shoulder slumped lower than ever before. "W-well, that's true, I... I didn't think of that..."
Rarity nodded. "No."
SMACK!
"You didn't!"
Maybe the wounds she received from the battle made her body weaker, or the adrenaline did way more to mitigate the pain she felt while getting punched, kicked and almost blown up on several occasions. But nothing Magical Girl Sunny threw at her hurt half as much as a stupid, rolled up magazine imbued with the Power of Friendship.
***
"Ouch!" Sunny winced, as a wet gauze touched her wounded face.
"Please stop squirming." Coco asked politely.
"I can't help it, it stings!"
"You've had worse," Coco deadpanned.
"I was on an adrenaline rush, I didn't feel pain. I'm more worried about you! You need to rest, my face can wait."
Coco pouted, not even slowing with her treatment. "I will rest when I'm done with you."
Sunny snorted. "Hehe, that's what she said!"
Coco paused cleaning her roommate's face and the two stared blankly at each other, one having a sheepish grin, the other... not. "...Sunset?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know," she crossed her hands and turned her gaze away slightly "I'm sorry."
Coco couldn't help but giggle, resuming her nursing. "Good to know you're back to normal. Your normal." She said as she finished nursing her friend. "Okay, that should do it!" Coco hummed, looking at her friend's bruised face. While most of it was dirt and scratches, she still had a visible black eye and a few cuts. "Well, I won't sugarcoat it, it doesn't look pre-I mean, you've been better!" She pulled out a pocket mirror and let her have a look, at which Sunny winced slightly.
"I am so glad the school photo was weeks ago," she nodded to her friend "thanks anyway Coco. You're a lifesaver. Literally."
After a short pause filled with a little warm fuzzy inside, Coco continued. "Umm, I could cover some of it with enough make-up, b-but, you should take a few days off. I'm sure it'll get better in no time!"
Sunset hummed, before shrugging with a sigh. "Yeah, I shouldn't give people more gossip fodder. I don't want them to think you're the abusing type," Sunny said smiling slyly, but only for a second, biting her tongue a few words too late. She panicked and started flailing her hands around. "B-because there's no way you would do anything like that and if anyone ever implies something like that, I swear I will beat them up until they-"
"It's okay," Coco nodded, smiling weakly "it was just another one of your distasteful jokes. I know you didn't mean anything."
Sunny laughed sheepishly, scratching the back of her head. "Heh, yeah, sorry about that... wait, what do you mean 'another'?"
Nervous Cocough. "Do you mean it? You won't sneak out to fight crime the second I close my eyes?"
Eyeroll ensued. "No, mother, I promise I will stay in bed today. I doubt I could stand straight after the things she and I did today." Pause. Sunset's smile grew larger and slyler (that a word?). "I know I said I didn't ask her to be gentle, but she was a lot rougher than I wanted. Especially since it was my first time doing it. Now my legs are all shaky, but they say it gets better over time..."
"I get what you're trying to do," Coco deadpanned "but you have to try better than that!"
Sunny snorted. "Fair enough," she shrugged, turning away "you're growing up so fast I can barely recognize the frightened, tiny mousy-girl I invited not so long ago. In a good way, of course." Another warm fuzzy happened before Sunset continued.
"That said, unless you spontaneously developed some magical super powers of your own I would appreciate if you leave the action to me! Does that sound fair?" She asked, receiving a weak nod in return. "Good. Because the next time I see my double, I won't go easy! I admit, I took her a bit too lightly and she took me by surprise... two or three times, who's counting anyway?" She giggled sheepishly, unaware that Coco just turned to grab her laptop "I already got rid of one of her super gloves and she needs to be within melee range for the second one to work, so as long as I-"
"Sunset," Coco interrupted her friend, catching her attention "there's something I need to tell you," She slowly turned the screen for her roommate to see. Sunset's eyes slowly went wide at the opened MyStable profile.
"I wasn't meeting with my mother today..."
***
SMACK!
"Ow!" Sunset yelped as Sci-Twi smacked her this time. It was the weakest one physically, but internally it was a lot worse than all the previous ones combined.
"That's for losing the 'Power Gauntlet' prototype Princess Twilight and I worked so hard on!"
SMACK!"
"Ooww!" This one was at least twice as vicious, both physically and mentally.
"And that's for going alone, after I specifically told you that we would do it together!"
Rainbow chimed in. "Especially after the whole Midnight Sparkle thing we had just recently!" She paused, looked at Sci-Twi, and her face turned red. "I-I mean, n-"
"No offense, I know." Twilight rolled her eyes and turned away cross armed. "None. Taken."
"Yeah, it took a while to get used to it."
After a longer, silent moment, Fluttershy finished treating Sunset's wounds. "There you go! It might hurt a little for a few days, but there shouldn't be any scars or permanent damage. Just try not to get into a fist fight in near future, if that's okay with you?"
Sunset managed a weak smile. "Thanks Flutter-"
SMACK!"
"Ow!"
"I don't EVER want to treat your wounds again," Fluttershy unleashed her stare into Sunset’s eyes, the paper bat (when did she get this?) still patting the fiery-haired head "u-unless you get hurt, then I’ll definitely do my best to help you heal, even if I will do it reluctantly and I know I will be v-very p-p-peeved if it's like today, b-but... did I make myself clear?"
Sunset nodded strongly, her eyes glued to 'The Stare'. "C-crystal clear!" Fluttershy nodded and 'The Stare' slowly turned into just a tiny stink eye (a technique vastly less powerful!).
"Kay, as much as Ah want ta keep punishin' Sunset Shimmer till the end of the week," Applejack started "we need to focus on the real problem. We know who Magical Girl Sunny ain't, but then- what is she? Who is she?" Everyone turned to Sunset, who was still nursing a huge headache. "Did ya learn anythin' new?"
While still massaging her new numerous bumps on her head, Sunset closed her eyes and hummed. "Well, to be perfectly honest, I'm even more confused after our fight. A lot of things add up to make a coherent explanation, but there are way too many inconsistencies!"
Everyone raised an eyebrow. Rainbow Dash asked. "Like what?"
"I thought she was out to get me for sure, but when we talked she seemed like she was just as confused as I was. I thought she was pretending at first, but I'm not so sure anymore. She seemed way too... honest. Like she believed she was the real one, who tried to fight the fake, which I kinda am, in a sense..." She hung her head on her hands. "And then, there's the magic she was using!"
Twilight finally let her pouting down and raised an eyebrow. "What about it?"
"All this time I assumed she would have all of my magic, but when it came to exchanging blows... let me put it this way, I counted at least three spells that would've been really handy in her situation. I was ready for a lot more than she used."
"That's good."
"Except, the few spells she used, she... I dunno how to explain it," she crossed her arms and looked at the sky for a few seconds before answering "what little she was using, she used it up to its full potential. Like, I know channeling magical energy into limbs without damaging yourself is possible, but she was able to do it almost instantly!" She noticed the puzzled expressions of some of her friends, so she quickly explained (rolling her eyes in the process). "Her punches exploded."
"Awesome!" Rainbow chimed in.
"And the way she was using a teleportation spell. I knew it was technically possible to transfer objects outside of your line of sight, or even ones you're not aware of existing, but still, she made it look so... so effortless!"
There was a moment of silence, before Twilight spoke. "Does that mean you weren't able to do any of this as a unicorn?"
"I... I won't say I wasn't able to, as much as I never went that far with any of the spells I learned. I was more into learning as many as I possibly could, more for the sake of knowing them than ever utilizing any of them. Quantity over quality."
Rainbow Dash scratched her head. "All this power and you never wanted to use it?"
"I did. I just... didn't know where." Her head lowered. "Or how." Lower. "Or when." A chill went by the near area, even though there were barely any clouds on the sky. "Even when I got the element of magic, all I did was-"
SMACK!
"Oww, why?" She asked through the tears of a newborn bump.
Rarity smacked the paper bat on her hand. "Sunset darling, we've had this conversation before."
"Three times at least!" Rainbow added.
"We explored all the angles we could and we learned all of our lessons, so let's keep our focus on present time. That said," she coughed "you mentioned something about another girl that was there?"
Still massaging her newest bump, a still very fresh image of Magical Girl Sunny and her friend (?) appeared in her mind, still giving her an uneasy feeling. "I don't know if she was there all this time, but when... it happened, she was so terrified she missed a golden opportunity to-... umm," she coughed and omitted the part where she almost died. Again. Her friends heard enough of that angle. "I think her name was Coco," she frowned "I don't know who she was to her, but I hope she's okay. I mean, I know we just fought and all, but seeing her so afraid and... and vulnerable, it... it put a different perspective on things."
"Like how evil can she be when she displayed so much care for someone else?" Fluttershy asked.
"Yeah, that. I would've felt and acted the same if any of you were hurt. Especially if it was my fault, even if it was just an accident."
After a brief moment of silence, Sunset's friends each fought with their own self to not smile warmly, because they were supposed to be angry and this was no time for warm fuzzies, no matter how well she put her words together.
"Wait, her name was Coco?" Twilight asked.
"Yeah, I think so. Why?"
"Hmm... I think it's nothing, but did she happen to have shoulder length cyan hair? And was she about this size?" She motioned her hand to somewhere around her neck.
"I didn't get a good look at her, but I think she might be... why?"
"Because, and it's a longshot, I remember someone like that, from Crystal Prep." All eyes went wide at the shrunken from overabundance of attention Twilight. "W-we were sharing some classes a-and I remember t-that one time she forgot her book, s-so the teacher h-had us share mine a-and... it was terrifiying! Though at least she was really quiet, so it wasn't a complete disaster!"
Sunset put a finger to her chin and hummed for a moment. "It's worth a shot, I guess. We don't really have any other leads. Is there anyone we could call to confirm that?"
"Twilight, can you call Cadence?" Rarity asked. "She's pretty much your big sister."
"Unfortunately I can't. Her and Shining Armor are still on their honeymoon in the mountains. Besides, if she saw Sunset Shimmer in Crystal Prep she would've dropped everything and called me right away!"
"And there's no way to contact her?"
"Believe me, we tried! I don't know if there's no reception or they're always busy with whatever they're doing in a secluded hut far away from civilization-"
Rainbow raised her hands. "Okay, stop now! We don't need any mental images of your brother and sister in law!"
Twilight blinked and tilted her head. "What mental ima-" then her brain shut down. When it rebooted itself ten seconds later, her face soured, as if she just swallowed a whole lemon with a side of tabasco, which explained why it was getting steamy red. "Eeeeeewww! Eewwewwweewwwww!"
SMACK!
"Ow!" Rainbow cried. While Sunset felt sympathy knowing full well about her pain, she also tried to hide a smile of satisfaction from it not being her for once! Rarity wasn't as strong physically as Applejack or Rainbow Dash, neither were her hits as emotionally damaging as Fluttershy's or Twilight's, but she somehow managed to be a jack of all trades when it came to scolding. With a paper bat. "What?! I didn't say anything!"
"With your impeccable timing, you didn't need to!"
"U-uhm, can we go back to the topic before it gets too embarrasing? If that's okay with all of you... please!?"
Sunset coughed. "Right, let's! So, we need to figure out who that Coco girl is and if she's the same one Twilight remembers. Is there anyone else we can ask?"
"Her name is Coco Pommel, she's our age, she lives in the Crystal Prep dorms and she used to be a member of a fashion club, but quit recently." Pinkie Pie announced with the peppiest, beamingiest smile only a Pinkie Pie on a normal day could muster. She was met with six blank stares that only Pinkie Pie's friends after hearing a surprising announcement were able to do.
"Pinkie Pie... how long did you know that?"
"For about five seconds before I told you!" She showed them her phone. "While you were busy talking about Dean Cadence and Twilight's brother having se-"
"PINKIE PIE!"
"MEEP!"
"GAH!"
"AAAAAAAH!"
"EEEWWW!"
Pinkie shrugged. "What? It's not weird or anything. That's what married couples do!" She rolled her eyes and turned to the readers. "Sheesh, and they say I'm the ditz!"
After a moment of cooldown, Sunset managed to soldier on. "Pinkie, just... just get to the point!"
"Alrighty! I texted Lemon Zest if she knew any Coco and that's what she answered!"
Everyone blinked. Applejack recovered first. "By Lemon Zest, ya mean one o'the Shadowbolts?"
"Yup!"
"...huh. Why did’n we think'o that?" Sunset scratched her head and had a look over all her non-Pinkie friends to confirm from their expressions that they were all on the same boat- none of them actually kept in touch with anyone in Crystal Prep. After-Friendship Games party was one thing, but once they parted ways, the contact was severed as they never intended to talk to them again. Not because there was any animosity left, but more like they had nothing to talk about and, contrary to what some cartoons taught them, there was a limit to how many friends one can have at any given moment.
Such limits were not an issue to Pinkamena "Reality Is Optional" Diane Pie.
A cheerful beat announced another text appearing on her phone. "Oh, she sent another! She says..."
She's dating Sunset Shimmer, they're totes adorbs <3<3<3 Btw, you guys had a fight or smth? She doesn't want to talk to us at all. I thought we were cool -_-'
A well earned silence loomed over the seven friends for a long period of time.
***
"...I listened to your voice mail and you know the rest." Coco finished telling her story, all the while doing everything in her power to avoid eye contact, though if she sneaked a better peek she would've noticed it wasn't the issue, as Sunny was almost obsessively absorbed in checking everything she could find about the other Sunset Shimmer. "Umm, Sunset, are you..."
"Every word," Sunset answered without sparing her a single glance. After a brief pause, she closed the laptop and let out a loud sigh. "She was there all this time?"
"Y-yeah."
"Long before I arrived?"
"It-it would seem so."
"She was even at the Friendship Games! And here I thought it wasn't anything important!" She chuckled to herself "That's why everybody acted so weird around me!"
"I-I didn't know anything about that too! I wasn't chosen for the team, s-so..."
The two stopped talking for a while, each trying to piece together the large amounts of recently acquired information. Sunset opened the laptop again to take a look at some of the recent Sunset Shimmer photos. Most importantly, a group picture of the main six members of each team during the friendship games, which included Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle (whose room she was apparently inheriting!), five Shadowbolts she met in passing during the last few weeks (all of a sudden all their familiar behavior made a lot more sense), as well as five girls she didn't recognize. There's something familiar about them, but I can't quite put my finger on it...
"Sunset Shimmer?"
Sunset looked up at her friend's oddly determined eyes. The kind of face she didn't see often, that managed to take all of her attention. "Yes?"
Coco swallowed, then took a deep breath before asking. "Who are you?"
Sunset didn't answer.
"T-this morning, when I found her page, I-I realized just how much I know about you... or rather, how much I don't know, and it made me... doubt," her eyes lowered, but her voice, as trembling as it was, pressed on "and everyone I spoke to said such… such kind things of her, the other Sunset Shimmer, that I didn't know what to think anymore and... and..." a few lone tears slid by her cheeks "and things happened and I realized that I... that you... that you are the best thing that happened to me... I know how it sounds, but I'm serious! And whoever you really are, or whatever you are and whatever you want, I just want to say... that I trust you! But... but I have to know!"
Sunset kept being silent.
"I don't care what you want to do, or where you are from, be-because I decided that... that whatever happens, I will be there for you, l-like... like you were for me... I just, I want to know the truth! No matter what it is!" She paused to look up to see Sunset in the eyes. "I won't ask you for anything else, but I need to know! I want to know!"
The two pair of eyes were locked into each other for a brief moment, before Sunny suddenly raised her hand toward her friend. Coco jerked her head away and closed her eyes on instinct, but quickly opened it when she felt a gentle pat on her head.
"I swear, you have the craziest imagination!" She chuckled. "What did I do to you to inspire such loyalty?" She asked, gently stroking Coco's head. "What if I'm really a nasty monster?"
"You're not! N-not to me, at least."
Sunset snorted, then took her patting hand towards Coco's face to gently wipe her friend's tears with her thumb. As the tear drops soaked into the gloves, Sunny continued. "I didn't want my past to define me and I wanted everyone to see me, both Sunset Shimmer and Magical Girl Sunny, as I am today and nothing else. Canterlot City and Crystal Prep were going to be a new, fresh start, far away from yesterday. I never wanted to go back there because... well, it's not the easiest thing to talk about, to be perfectly honest."
Coco lowered her head. "Oh... w-well, if it's this painful to you-"
"But!" Sunset quickly interrupted her. "If knowing everything will prevent you from making another reckless mistake... then you, of all people, should know."
Coco swallowed, her palms tightly grabbing her skirt in anticipation.
***
"She was in Crystal Prep ALL ALONG!?" Rainbow Dash verbalized everyone's thoughts. "Why didn't anyone tell us?!"
"That's a good question!" Sunset said, then turned to Pinkie Pie. The party girl nodded and sent another text, getting a reply shortly thereafter.
We thought you knew o_O We didn't ask you because we didn't want to interfere... also Sunset is a jerk.
Rarity hit her face with her palm. "The age old 'you didn't ask'... I thought this only happened in cartoons!"
"But now what?" Twilight asked. "Should we tell her the truth?"
Sunset hummed and eventually nodded. "It's only a matter of time before people will start figuring it out. Lemon Zest has the right to know, especially if we're going to need her help later."
After sending a more elaborate, multi part text via Pinkie Pie's phone, the Rainbooms and Sci-Twi waited for an answer for a bit longer than usual. Once they started to get worried, they were assaulted by a myriad of text messages. Most of them were pictures of cartoons and celebrities, each wearing a varying degree of shock, surprise and general bewilderment, until the last one contained actual text.
THAT. EXPLAINS. SO. MUCH!
"She took it a lot better than I thought." Fluttershy noted.
"Well, now that we have this out of the way," Sunset continued "we need to ask her if she could let us inside the dorms."
"And then what?" Applejack asked. "Ya wanna go for round two?"
"No, I've had my fair share of mirror matches for a lifetime. I want to talk, this time for real. I have a feeling she doesn't feel like fighting me ei-"
SMACK!
"Owww!" Sunset yelped, holding her head where another bump suddenly appeared. "Pinkie Pie? Why the heck did you do that!?"
"Sorry," Pinkie smiled sheepishly, trying to hide the paper bat behind her back "I never got my turn, and the timing was getting worse, so..."
"Ugh, nevermind that! Could you please send one more message and ask if she could help us tomorrow?"
"Roger dodger!"
"Oh, and one more thing! I want to be as discreet as possible..."
***
"...also, don't tell anybody else," Lemon Zest read the text out loud "we need to keep this a secret from everyone for a little... longer..."
One blink. She looked up from her phone and looked at the other girls gathered at the cafeteria table. Indigo Zap had her finger up and mouth opened but said nothing. Sunny Flare had her arms crossed, with one eyebrow slightly raised. Sour Sweet was in between transition between cute and rude. Sugarcoat betrayed no emotion. Lemon Zest went back to her phone, then again at her friends.
"Yeah... whoops."
***
A series of loud knocking on the door woke Sunny up. She opened her eyes lazily and raised her body to a sitting position with barely endured pain. I knew I was going to feel it in my bones, but this isn't funny! She let out a loud yawn, grabbing her phone from her desk to check the time. Already past noon? It's a good thing we're skipping class today, otherwise we'd be so in trouble for getting late... Putting her phone back, she glanced at the other bed. Coco was still sleeping cutely and deeply as always. After the day we went through, I don't blame her.
A few more knocks caught her attention. She groaned and finally forced herself out of her nest, though reluctantly. "I'm coming, I'm coming, geez!" She went towards the doors, checking herself in the mirror to fix her bed head, even if only slightly, before unlocking the door. She expected one of the teachers or the class president coming to scold her and Coco for skipping school, but instead she was met with the green haired Shadowbolt. What was her name? Some citrus... Orange?
"What do you want?"
The girl scratched her head a bit. "Hi, I don't really want anything in particular myself..."
"Then bye!" She was about to violently shut the door, but Lemon Zest (THAT was her name!) quickly held it back.
"I brought someone who wants to see you!"
Sunset blinked and leaned out of the door frame to look to her right, where the other four Shadowbolts were waiting. She then turned to her left, where a different group of girls stood in the distance. Despite being a few doors away, she easily recognized all five original Rainbooms, as well as Twilight Sparkle. And then, there was her, just like she remembered from their first meeting, except without any gloves, instead holding some sort of plastic bag in one hand.
If not for yesterday's talk, her first reaction would've been either throwing the first punch, fireball, or better yet, teleport her and Coco out of here... except she didn't feel like it anymore. She faced the other Sunset Shimmer, while everyone else gathered on the hallway held back their shocked expressions from seeing two identical girls in one place. Except Sugarcoat, she had no problem masking her surprise.
"Hi." Jacket Shimmer waved her other hand.
"Yo." Pajama Shimmer did the same. "So, you found me again."
"I got lucky, I guess," she scratched her head, then reached inside the bag "you lost something, and I came to give it back to you." That said, she pulled out a familiar looking black beret, as well as a pair of aviator sunglasses.
Sunny looked at the two items, then turned back to her room to see Coco awake, though still groggy and looking at her in confusion. She turned back to Sunset and accepted the items.
"Give us fifteen minutes."
Not really in Madoka, read the tail end of the manga and know most about, it really isn't my thing. Though I do a read a magical girls web comics that also took a surprisingly dark turn early on, though I suppose it does maintain light-hearted elements that keep it from going too dark.
How about Sunny vs. The Forces of Evil for a chapter title? I mean, Star herself said she was a magical girl from another dimension.
Madoka Magica has some amazing music too:
And awesome fight scenes!
http://i.imgur.com/u8EOYeY.mp4 (since imgur doesn't allow fimfic to hotlink..)
So, is there any reason why this is listed as the first chapter in the overview?
Sunset's many dope-slaps made me giggle.
Come to think of it, I don't remember her getting many of those in the movies, no matter how badly overdue she was for them for all the stupid things she does, so I think Team Paper Bat must have at least broken even there.
Also, I like the cocough, as it fits her slightly awkward nature.
...And, why is chapter 9 at the top of the chapter list?
7948062
Eh, I expected Sunset to grab her own paper fan after Rainbow brought up Midnight. Compared to all the crap everyone else pulled in the movies (and this fic), Sunset, even counting her actions in this fic, is the least deserving of multiple fan slaps (particularly since she's injured).
Damn it I still want Daydream Shimmer to at least show off in front of Sunset Shimmer.
I found great enjoyment in the rolled paper of discipline. I always find it funny when the girls treat Sunset like the pony she is. The next movie should really squeeze in some more pony jokes.
Maybe Senki Zesshou Sunnygear for a future chapter title? I'm watching that show right now, and it's a whole lot of fun.
7948223 This.
Also - Cocough = Coco + Cough was fairly great. Don't doubt yourself :3
Also, I'm not certain how (if at all) this is related to Madoka. That's a severe drug-induced clustereff if I ever seen one. And this one isn't.
Why is Chapter 9 in front of Chapter 1? You might want to fix that.
Congrats on making chapter 9 the first chapter in the list.
7948583
7948600 There, I fixed it! Gosh, make one simple mistake...
7948473 The titles have nothing to do with the contents of the chapter and are just an excuse for me to talk about shows I watched. It might as well be called "Chapter 9" , but where's the fun in that?
7948570
7948665 For the sake of removing confusion, the Equestrian Sunset Shimmer will be called "Sunset", while the Magical Girl will be called "Sunny". That's what I used back in chapter 8.
7948813 That hardcore number 9.
Though?
I thought Cocough was brilliant. It fits the humor of this story so well.
I'm glad that this entire 5500 word chapter was devoted to explaining that the last 6000 word was stupid and accomplished nothing. Maybe 500 words of progressed happened in pinkie texting someone and them just walking up to Sunsets place. A newsletter could have solved what that huge fight accomplished.
The embedded Youtube videos in the author's note say they are "not available in your country" (USA here).
For some reason I find the "Bad pony!" line to be a bit extra amusing.
Nice.
Oooo.
It's good to see Coco finally asking the important questions.
Hahaha!
Answers for everyone!
I think skipping the shenanigans chapter was the right idea, that would just have been drawing things out longer for no good reason.
7950248
You haven't subscribed to a VPN yet?
What is this, 2002?
7949909
Newsletters are so BBS-days. She should have sent Coco a Tox ID for some face-to-face hatchet-burying.
Or the tried-and-true IRC invite if the school network takes exception to tor traffic.
Unlike Usenet and BBS, IRC will never go out of style.
https://xkcd.com/1782/
sabrina-online.com/strips/SabOnline26.GIF
7950248 Sigh, this keeps on happening. In order:
-First video is an opening to Madoka Magica
-Second video is a full version of the ending theme, Magia by Kalafina.
For once I'm at an advantage for living in Europe
7949909
wholesalefrozenyogurt.com/images/backgrounds/flavors/CottonCandyPink.jpg
Cotton candy is soft, fluffy, and sweet, but not really substantial as food. One might even understandably say it's stupid to bother eating it at all. Even so, some people like a bit of fluff. I know this because I've got a 200,000+ word story going with tons of fluffy scenes that don't really further the story much, especially early on, and scenes like those are (judging by which parts of the chapters my commentors seem to enjoy the most) quite possibly the main attraction of the fic in question. They don't do much of anything for the plot, but they're fun to write and to read for quite a few people.
I'm not crazy about action scenes, but (and I might try to have this put on my tombstone) the best writing advice I ever got was to write the kind of story you'd like to read. If the author and at least some of their readers enjoy it, it's not pointless, and a story without any kind of fluff, padding, or detours whatsoever only has the advantage of being shorter. I can understand being worried about things getting too bogged down with stuff on the side, but I don't think that was what happened here.
Well, they got the fight out of the way, so hopefully now they can have a proper conversation.
7950705 I don't have a problem with fluff in of itself and I don't have a problem with fight scenes either. What bothers me is when they are both pointless and poorly justified. Writing 101 is 'don't bend your characters to fit scenes' and the fight scene in the last chapter was the result of Sunset and Sunnys conversation that played out like people coming off of a concussion. Making insane and pointless accusation of the evilness of the other based off of literally nothing. That is on top of Sunset just decided that three movies of love and friendship were stupid and that instead of working with her friends she should run off on her own and have a fistfight with a magical shapeshifter that could totally replace her and endanger her friends if she fails.
Fluff doesn't have to progress the story at all, but it at least should require the character hold the idiot ball on top of it, and not for 11,00 words. a full 1/4 of this story is now devoted to the fistfight that didn't need to happen, didn't make sense for either of the fighters to participate in, and didn't accomplish anything. The last two chapters could have just been Coco having her adventure and doubts about her Sunny and then confronting her and it would have been a million times better.
I don't mind eating cotton candy when the mood hits me, but I certainly don't want to eat it during the rain, the sugary fluff just becomes a soggy slurry before disappointingly dissolving into nothing.
7951646 I wished to never have this conversation again, but I will try to explain it to you and others who had similar complains (you weren't the only one- not by a long shot).
I wanted them to fight. If the story was going to be "and they met, talked and just became friends", I wouldn't be writing any of it. At all.
That's my reason. I specifically tailored the story to get to that point... and I failed. I dun goofed. I didn't give the characters a good enough motivation to go into fighting and, thinking back, I could've done a lot more with it, but I didn't, partly because I was a bit too blinded by my own vision. I get that. I wish to consider myself a good writer, but this one time I really dropped the ball and I'm not afraid to admit it publicly.
It's too late to change it, but it's time to move on and keep on Shimmering and improving. I might sound bitter (I kinda am, writing is hard), but I'll swallow that bitter pill and try to learn from my mistakes. Next time something big happens, I will try a lot harder to make everyone happy with the final product, myself included. And I wish for everyone who didn't like that part to be there to tell me if I managed to achieve it.
7951762 Eh, its fine. Nothing is perfect and for a not perfect story this is still pretty good. Everything else was good enough on its own that deliberately twisting the storyline to cause the fight instead of it organically happening or not was unnecessary. I didn't know that you were writing the whole story to get to the fight scene, and if I did I might not have even started the story, but enjoyed the rest for what it was. Best of luck.
7951795 A chance is all I ever asked for.
To clarify- while the fight is important, there is still a lot more to explore. The story isn't over and won't be for some time.
7950614
Thanks!
7950315
I've used one before but the bandwidth was abysmal and I used it (or at least, actually benefited from it) so rarely that I couldn't justify paying for something I didn't really need and wasn't using anyway. *shrug*
I can't help but think that Sunset is getting the short end of the stick (or paper bat ...) on this one...
That is much more adorable than I should expect it to be.
I haven't seen Madoka yet, all I know is that signing a contract with a mysterious adorable magical creature is NOT WITHOUT CONSEQUENCE. Might give it a spin later down the line.
The saddest thing about this story for me is that I have an unpublished MG novel series that I'm working on (Actress Square), and that if this story were written 10 years from now, one of the parts could've been called "Sunny Square."
Story of the fucking year. 11/10.
And there's not way to contact he
1. No.
Oh this is gonna be quite the meeting.
GREAT WAY TO START THE CHAPTER!! CONFUSING THE HECK OUTTA ME
That was genius!!!
Have u watched the Puella magia chapters?