An Octave Above the Rest

by HadezPKMN

Nocturne

A/N: Welcome to my first fanfic on fimfiction. Okay, that’s enough of me talking. On to the story! MARCATO, AWAY!

An Octave Above The Rest

I, a dark blue stallion with an even darker blue mane with a cutie mark of a trombone and percussion mallets forming an X shape, was walking down the streets of Canterlot. I had just come from the auditions for the Grand Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. I was using my magic to carry my percussion mallets and trombone. It had gone very well. While all others trombonists played by using magic to control the slide, I chose the traditional method of hooves. Needless to say, the conductor was not happy with my preference.

Throughout Equestria, Musicians were typically unicorns and they all used magic to play. If you were a pegasus or earth pony, you were ridiculed and shunned because, well, I didn’t really know. Maybe because it was a lot harder to play like that, and unicorns felt they were better than them, but I digress.

So I decided to play this way because of the fact that it was harder to play like that, and the conductor is one of those that don’t like pegasus or earth pony musicians. Though the conductor didn’t like me already, he was impressed by my playing.

The final pony to audition was, in my opinion, one of the most beautiful mares I had ever seen. She was a grey earth pony with a black mane and tail. On her back she carried her cello, which was much bigger than her.

She set down the case and set up. The conductor looked at her and said in a bored tone, “Okay, miss Octavia Tempo, you may begin.” ‘Okay,’ I thought, ‘this guy is really getting on my nerves now.’

Octavia ignored him and began to play. The sound of the bow on strings filled the auditorium. She put emotion into her playing, and she looked completely at peace while playing. Her eyes were closed, and she had a peaceful smile on her face.

When she finished, all other musicians that had stayed like I had, were stunned into silence, creating a letting the sound resonate of the stage and into the chairs, until a bored voice broke the silence. “That was very good, Miss Tempo. I will see you next week for the next part of the auditions.” Boy, at this time now, I wanted to smack the guy, mistreating her like that, and by the looks on some others around me, wanted the same thing.

Now, I am walking home from the audition, thinking about the grey earth mare that had, ultimately, stolen my heart with her appearance and musical skill.

Lost in thought, I didn’t notice the big cello case in front of me, and I ran right into Octavia. “Oh, I’m sorry. I wasn’t wat-” I was cut off when I saw who it was I just knocked down. “Oh, Miss Tempo, I’m very sorry for that,” I offered her my hoof which she accepted, “I was lost in my thoughts and wasn’t paying attention.”

“Oh, it’s okay...” she left off the as if asking a question.

“My name is Midnight Harmony, and might I say, that was the best cello playing I’ve ever heard.” Her face took the shade of a Hearts and Hooves day card.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Harmony.”

“Please, call me Midnight, Miss Tempo.”

"Then you call me Octavia,” she said with a sly smile. We took one look at each other and burst out laughing.

“Well, Octavia, would you like to go to dinner tonight to get to know each other a bit more?” She nodded.

“Just let me go put away my cello and freshen up okay?” She began walking into the same hotel that I was staying at, what a coincidence.

I walked up next to her and used my magic to pick up her cello from her back and carry it for her. “Oh, Midnight? Why are you here shouldn’t you be going to put your stuff away?” She tilted her head and stared at me, and just like that my heart melted.

“I am, Octavia. This is, coincidentally, the same hotel I’m staying at, yeah, it’s a shock to me too.”

“Oh, well, thank you for offering to take my cello, but I can take it myself, you already have your trombone and mallets, I don’t want you to think I can’t handle it myself,” she said.

I smiled at her, “Now, would I be a gentlecolt to not even offer? I think not.” She giggled and we walked up the stairs. She began to lag behind, so I confronted her, “Okay Octavia, I know you have pride in carrying your cello, but please let me carry it for you.”

She sighed, defeated, “Okay Midnight, I’ll let you carry it.” Then she gave me a serious face and said, “If you drop it once, then I will give you a punishment. worse than what Nightmare Moon got.”

My ears flattened and my eyes widened in fear. She then burst out laughing, which calmed me down quite a bit, and took off her cello. I picked it up with my magic and we ascended the stairs again.

We reached my level, and the weird thing is it was her floor as well. “Well, I guess I’m walking you to your room.” She giggled and began walking down the hall. We reached her room and she opened the door, I levitated her cello inside, and she closed the door.

I made my way down the hall to my room and went into the shower.

When I finished I brought my trombone to me and went to go see if Octavia was ready, which she was.

When she opened the door, my mouth dropped. Her hair was combed and she was wearing a black dress which complemented her mane perfectly. “Um, you l-look b-b-beautiful.”

Again, her face lit up bright red, “Oh, thank you Midnight. So where are we going that requires you to bring your instrument?”

“Oh, I have a gig tonight, and I just happened to ask you to dinner so I have a surprise for you I guess.” She shrugged and we left to the restaurant, The Gilded Trumpet.

“Oh, isn’t this a ja-” She cut off when she saw me putting on a fedora. “I see, so you have a jazz gig?” I just nodded, “Okay, I didn’t expect you to play that, seeing as you play classical.”

“Well, I’m just an interesting pony I guess.” She giggled and I got up on stage. “Welcome back to the Gilded Trumpet. It’s me Midnight Harmony back with my friends to play for you.” There was a collective cheer, not too big, not too small. “First piece we have for you is called Cantaloupe Island.” With that said, we began our 2 hour show.

We finished and I went back to sit with Octavia. “So, what did you think?”

Her mouth was agape and I took this chance to say, “So are you trying to catch a fly or what?” She closed her mouth and blushed.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Okay, but, wow, that was amazing.” Now it was my turn to blush.

“Oh, thank you, so I’ve been meaning to ask, what kinds of music do you listen to in your free time?”

“Well, to tell the truth, I listen to DJ PON-3 a lot, and I like to listen to jazz as well.” She looked away, which I didn’t understand.

“Why are you embarrassed? You should be proud to listen to what you want. Also, to tell you this, the music I listen to is rock, heavy metal, techno, and progressive rock.”

She looked at me impressed, “Well, now I don’t feel so different because of my music preferences.”

The conversation continued like that for most of the night, talking about music, like which classical pieces they despise, how they got into their instruments, and what they do in their free time. We finally left because one, we were getting tired, and two, the place was about to close.

It was beautiful night out, “Hey, Octavia,” she turned to me, “I was wondering if you would follow me somewhere?”

“Oh sure, also, you can just call me Tavi if you want, my close friends do.”

I stopped in my tracks, “Wait, you consider me a close friend already?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”

“Th-thank you.”

She gave me a friendly smile, “You’re welcome.”

I brought her out to a hill outside of Canterlot and sat down. “Didn’t you say you were going to show me something?”

“Of course, look up.” She did and gasped.

“Oh wow, Midnight, I’ve never seen the stars this clear. They’re beautiful.”

I took this opportunity to say my feelings, well, because it felt right. “Not as beautiful as you.”

She whipped her head around to look at me. “Wh-what did you say?”

“I said, they aren’t as beautiful as you. I’ve thought that since I first saw you at the auditions, you were the best cellist I’ve ever seen. No one can surpass you, and whatever anyone says about earth ponies, you will always be a great musician. Also, no matter what anybody says you are not a failure, you will always succeed if you try. I guess what I’m trying to say is, Tavi, I love you.” I finished my spiel and looked down from the sky to Tavi’s face.

In her eyes were tears, “Oh, I guess yo- MMPH!!”

She had thrown her hooves around my neck silencing my last thought with a kiss. My eyes widened, surprised by the act, then shut as I sunk into the passion. Our tongues moved in each others mouths, in a dance of passion.

When we parted, a thin strand of saliva connected our tongues, finally breaking as she rested her head on my shoulder, her hooves still around my neck. “That is the nicest, most sincere thing anyone has ever said to me. I love you too, Midnight.” She finished her sentence with another long kiss, this one lasting a minute or so. We broke apart, and said nothing the rest of the night, for no words were needed.

We came back to the hotel with happiness in our hearts, we shared a heavenly and very tender kiss, before we went our seperate ways.

A/N: Okay, how did I do? My first ever one-shot and am needing reviews. Also, tell me if you want me to try and continue this story with what will end up happening in the relationship and the orchestra... I have no idea what that was supposed to mean, hope you guys do, but tell me if you want more or if I should stop.

Comments

[ArcSeraphim]

I, for one, love Octavia pairings, although there is a lack of it. Pairing with an OC is a different story. Altogether. For the story, the tone is not there, it's a bit dreary. I gather you're a classical musician, so perhaps I could phrase it that the 'harmony' is monotonous, probably lacking cadence. It is probably rushed too, the events pass through too quickly without much description. Aside of that, it is a little short even for a one-shot, but then again it is good enough to pass. (I was hoping for clop/mature content :P) I'd say, nice job with the conversations, and the end is kinda romantic. No grammar or spelling mistakes. I'd give it a 7.5/10, and liked. I guess your writing will improve, no?

[Toraka]

Artist signature on your picture says it's from johnjoseco on deviantART.
And, before the real comment begins, let me express how I find it deliciously ironical to read stories about characters named Midnight (something) like my lil' OC.

Okay. So.
I didn't see any major mistakes in your language while reading it through. However, sometimes it feels like the english the characters are using is too correct. You understand? Ask yourself if you'd use those sentences in a direct conversation. For me, it gives the talking a bit of a sterile feel.
I'll forgive you the rather obvious self-insertion, really.

I'd like to see exactly what hill you are referring to. Directly put: Canterlot is built on the side of a mountain! There's no hills anywhere near you could reach on hoof. But whatever.

While the reader's fantasy is always better than anything you can describe, your description of where your characters are and go is a bit lacking. We find out what kind of place it is and what's relevant to the plot, nothing more.

The whole thing went kind of quick, although that's probably what you were aiming for. Just a warning, watch your speed or your characters' decisions will heavily lose credibility. There's nothing worse than a story about a cardboard cutout character.

I may be wrong about this, but shouldn't the part 'The conversation continued like that for most of the night, talking about music, like which classical pieces they despise, how they got into their instruments, and what they do in their free time.' use 'we' instead of 'they' because it's referring to the narrator and Octavia?

The line 'In her eyes were tears, “Oh, I guess yo- MMPH!!”' feels like it's Octavia speaking. I'd recommend moving the quote down to its own line in order to reduce confusion.

[Zellor]

This is a VERY good story my friend. I suggest you continue it because it's been a while I have seen a OctaviaXOC story and I must say I do indeed like a love story every now and then and this is a fine example of a good love story.

Keep up the good work!

[HadezPKMN]

875946>>875966>>884579 Thanks all of you for your comments and advice, I will try to tone back on the "perfection" of the dialogue and work out the kinks, also this was my very first story ever, and I didn't have an editor to help me, I'm also on fanfiction.net as HadezPKMN and my other story I got an editor for the third chapter, plus my writing has improved. I will try to continue this but I don't think I will because school starts soon, and I have my big story to work on. I hope to upload my other stories to fimfiction, I'm working on it, but can't seem to find time. Thank you for listening to this long and boring reply. Please stay tuned for more, If I can find time and figure out how to continue it, because I have now ideas. Bye.

[HadezPKMN]

918470 This was also a test to see if I could write in the romantic style, I really need some work, and I'm mostly a horror and sad writer, this is a drastic change, so this was expected to have flaws

[Viktor Lionheart]

Hmmm...Haven't read a romance story in a while. The last one I read was The Heart of a Dragon, which was very good. Will give it a try.

[Agri_Yob]

918483
If you need a proofreader, shoot me a PM when you do. I'd be glad to help!

[HadezPKMN]

2054523 No, I am my own proof reader. I am what is known as a grammar Nazi. It's just I have trouble putting my ideas down on paper, or in this case, a text document. Though if you go to my fanfiction.net account and read my story Diminuendo, you'll see why I am a good writer. I turned that paper in to my English teacher for our final exam and I got an A on it. And now that I think about it, I know how to continue that story, it will follow the story Idea I posted in the group forum. Two lost souls come together and make an inseperable family, until missing pony reports of those that live in and around Canterlot start to vanish, only to turn up mangled, mutilated, or hung by hooks from trees. Can Raven and Luna figure out who or what is behind this. The answer to this will shake Raven and Luna's relationship to the very core. Will all be forgiven, or will some one be forced to leave and never come back? Find out if I ever am able to finish enough of my school shit to work on the project. Only on Fanfiction.net until I bring Raven forth into Equestria. I need a suitable transition for that.

Wow, that's the largest comment I've ever typed, and I finally found a way to continue a story I've been trying to work on since last year. All because of one comment/ I thank you sincerely Armed, you got my brain working and now I have a story to work on. Could I still ask you to be a beta reader for me, so I know how my audience might react to this?

[Agri_Yob]

2054782
I'm glad I could ignite the fuse for you!
And I would be honored to be a beta reader

EDIT: If I had FiM back when I was in High School, I would probably be a well-published author right now.
Not to self-promote, but my story is my first ever creative writing experience (save for the book reports in high school!)

[Hipparcos]

“My name is Midnight Harmony, and might I say, that was the best cello playing I’ve ever heard.” Her face took the shade of a Hearts and Hooves day card.

“Oh, thank you, Mr. Harmony.”

“Please, call me Midnight, Miss Tempo.”

"Then you call me Octavia,” she said with a sly smile. We took one look at each other and burst out laughing.

“Well, Octavia, would you like to go to dinner tonight to get to know each other a bit more?” She nodded.

If only it was that easy.

As for the rest of it.....keep it going. Write more. NOW.