Pretending

Her bed is cold, the sheets, having been empty for the entire day, are crisp. There is an emptiness in the room, after all, she hasn’t really said or done anything. Her saddlebag is still over her flank. Her body laid out against the sheets, she feels heavy, not in a body image way, but in an aura sense. Silver Spoon exhales. She lifts her front legs up just a bit, inching the saddlebag off, hearing it hit the floor with a small thud.

“Fuck” She mumbles, body flopping back down. She lays still for a few moments before rolling over, slowly, laying on her side. Her summertime was filled with fantasies. She rarely saw the girl she loved so much, she was free to think about their lives in the way she wanted too. When school started though, her fantasies were stripped away so quickly.

Summers spent laying on the beach, thinking about a life that she wanted, oh that’s what she wanted so badly, more time to wish, more time to play make believe. Of course though, the fall came, with its cold winds, and frost mornings, and robbed away her hope.

She couldn’t tell Diamond how she really felt. Not because of a fear of ridicule really. The fear was more about changing things. She knew she couldn’t expect Diamond Tiara to be interested in her. She knew there was no chemistry between them. It was okay. She tried her best not to be jealous, not to go out of her way to cause trouble.

Especially when she knew that Diamond had spent some of her summer home alone. With a colt. Thinking about it makes her mind wander. She thinks about things that may have happen. She tries not too though. Rolling over. Getting up.

School too, had exhausted her today. The first day of her last year. That was a lot to handle. Silver still didn’t even know what she wanted to be. Being raised as an heiress, well that had robbed her of some creativity in that field.

It was likely that she would take her general courses, and then come home, and live, without needing a job comfortably. Diamond would do the same thing though, wouldn’t she? They had similar home lives. They had been raised with a promised future.

In some ways, Silver wants to get away from Diamond. She loves her friend. She adores all the time they spend together, even If it hurts so very much when they are apart. The problem is that Silver was not helping herself.

She had put away all of her life so far, in being the perfect friend. She had always been there for Diamond. And now it was time to ween away from that. She had one more year of pleasant dreaming. Pretending to not be in love. Pretending to have crushes on the colts in their class.
After that year, she would get to spread her wings. Move on and become her own pony.

She has finally gotten out of bed, she has finally pulled herself to her desk. The polished marble piece when there is a ring from her bag. Her phone. She assumed it was Diamond. Rarely did she ever get a text from any other pony. Sometimes her parent’s, but they were downstairs, they would have just called for her.

“Want to hang out?”

Silver sighs, eyes scanning over the screen. “Not sure. Where?” No. that wasn’t write. She erases that. Backspaces to a starting point. “What are we doing?” Send.

“Pool?”

It was still warm enough to swim, hm. She sighs a bit. “Can’t.” She looks at the text for a long time before finally sending it. Her heart skips a beat. In her fantasies, this is where Diamond might reply with a ‘What’s wrong love’

“Why? You Busy?” There was no love between them in the real world

“Rehearsal dinner tonight” It wasn’t even a lie. Usually she would have gone anyways, and gotten there late.

“Tomorrow?”

Silver sighs. This was a lot to think about so soon after the end of summer. She gives in though, she always gave in. “Of Course”

She sets her phone down. Sighing, hanging her head over her desk. Her body is filled with phantom pains. Her heart hurts. She was trying so hard though to not screw anything up. It was unrequited. That was okay. She has to remind herself that a lot; just because they were best friends didn’t mean that Diamond owed her love.

She digs her textbook from her bag, she opens it up, and she looks at it. Next thing she knew, her mother was calling her name. “Time to get ready Silver Spoon” Had it been an hour already? How much reading had she gotten done.

Silver doesn’t waste time though. She was used to this it would, of course, end up being her future. It doesn’t take her long to get her dress on. Light blue, it looked nice against her eyes. She adjusts her glasses. She straightens her braid.

Diamond Tiara hated the dress she was wearing. Silver remembers that, and she feels her body prickle with embarrassment. She wants to take it off, but she resists it. She walks down the stairs. She’s working off autopilot. All of the rehearsal dinners they did for events, they were all the same.

Someone asks her how she thinks her last year of school will be, she smiles of course. “Oh, it will be as good as the last.” There would be a lot of preparation for hurt though. But this pony, the wife of one of her father’s business partners wouldn’t care about that.

“Are you going to stay at the top of your class, make valedictorian?” Another stress she didn’t want to think about. School came rather easily to her though, it wasn’t the stress of the work she feared, it was the claiming of the position. She was the optimist of course, at least around the casual acquaintances. She nods

“So” The mare says. “Do you have a coltfriend”

Her stomach churns, her heart sinks in her chest. But she forces a smile, a chuckle. “No not yet”

“Your such a lovely girl though, I’m sure you’ll find a nice boy soon”

Another faux, forced chuckle. The manners of pleasantries, her body language perfect as she lies through her teeth, “Oh yes, I have my eye on a few.”

Author's Note:

IDK man, i like to write about unrequited love and lesbians.

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