Page generated in 0.029 seconds
Total duration
946 users online
309,378 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Honestly, I would be kinda pissed and might want to spend sometime away from Luna if I was put up n his position. In every relationship communication and honesty are essential and Luna disregarded them both.
So instead of just straight out asking him to help Twilight, Luna hides the truth from him, and then (least it seems that way to me) guilts him into fucking Twilight.
All well and good to just go through the mechanics of sex to relieve Twilight's needs. However, Since David cares for Twilight as a friend and Twilight trusts David so implicitly, Luna has risked him getting attached to Twilight the same way that he's connected to the diarchs--if it's not too late already
Another great chapter.
Good conflict.
I see what you did there.
Also, keeping secrets from one another is one of the things that can lead to a bad relationship. Luna did just that and she should be "punished".
Please be Stella... pleeeeeasssse
God this story is so well written...
But it kills me how corny the actual dialogue is. Its so impersonal and
"David cried openly into her back, letting his tears stream down his face and her sides. He gripped her tightly and pulled her against him. “I forgive you!! I’ll always forgive you!” he yelled into her flesh."
The couple times theres been crying its so sudden and (in my opinion) out of character. Sorry man but this chapter killed it for me.
Good chapter, though in my opinion the ending was a bit... off. When I read this part:
I was expecting a bit more than a mutual sobfest. Something more along the lines of:
A lecture/scolding, projecting an acceptance of the current state of events, yet warning her against future screw ups, and with enough seriousness to get the point across that the actions she took are the start of a very slippery slope, similar to one that she's already fallen down in the past.
Aside from that, I'm really hoping that Twilight ends up as a permanent addition to his herd rather than just a one-off due to the heat.
So um...
I don't usually comment on this kind of story...
I am really enjoying the romance you are building. This is pretty well written and frankly I think would work just as well as a story without the adult material.
That said the adult material seems to hint at times that a bit of a breeding fetish might be at play...while compatibility was addressed are we possibly going to see some "happy little surprises?" due to Hero Protagonist now having some magic and having been intimate with at least one mare in heat?
7698370
Hi there!
Thank you for reading and your comment.
Not to be a pain, but I won't usually reveal elements of the plot in the comment section. That being said, if you (or anyone else) would like answers to questions, please drop me a PM!
Sincerely,
DA
P.S. Drat! The dreaded "Deleted comment!" Stupid 'post' button.
7696879
Perfect synopsis of this chapter. In my opinion, Luna should have been scolded for it, but I guess I can let this slide for now.
Is it bad I wish that it actually is possible for him to impregnate the ponies
7862503 nope however it is bad if you wished he had impregnated Twilight as she is his friend not his lover.
8150391
Eh. That may be true, but no one involved took any precautions against it that I can remember, and she was in heat. Everyone involved was an adult. Consequences happen, and we have to own up to them. "I'm/She's pregnant! How could this happen?!" Spoiler alert - It's because you did it. They teach you that stuff in grade school
It's emotional manipulation.