A Bench-y Trap

You walk past them, those two endlessly-shady mares. Sitting on their oak bench, watching you, a couple of hawks... Not even that, they stare so in sync that you could mistake them for a single hawk, if you were slightly more delusional than you already are.

There has got to be some reason that they act like this, day in and day out, you think to yourself. And let Celestia Herself burn you at a stake for looking at Her strangely, if you are not going to find out what in the hay they are doing!

You approach carefully, your hooves loudly crunching on the road below, now considerably more noticeable to you as you try to be inconspicuous. Their gaze never parts from you, but maybe the quiet would make them concentrate less. That's not how it works, you think to yourself... Maybe if I'm really loud, but not over here, that will divert their currently unmovable attention. You feel a warm glow envelop your horn as you maneuver the anvil through the crowds of ponies, and into the music store.

CRASH!

Even you wince as you hear the anvil make a collision with the grand piano. You can pay them later, but for now, you can safely approach Lyra and Bon Bon while their attention is diverted to the... diversion.

Sadly, their attention span appears to be longer than a long snake. They remain, unmoving, staring at you.

Ok, new plan... Pounce them.

You jump with all your force at them, and...

SNAP!

Just as you recover, your eyes widen as you realise that you've just broken Lyra! You turn to face her, and find that her head has snapped sharply off, with a pattern not unlike that if you were to snap a piece of plywood!

You approach, horrified... and quickly realise the reason behind Lyra's plywood-ness. She wasn't actually there, ever, just the plywood cover! Nor was Bon Bon, probably! You nudge her in the face with your muzzle, just to be sure. At least that's what you keep telling yourself.

That means they must be up to something, you think. Sitting down on the bench, in between plywood Lyra and Bon Bon, you contemplate all the possible things that they might actually be doing.

And then you fall.

And land. "Owww..." you moan in pain. Looking up, you see that... there is dirt. That damn bench must be designed to do just that. Deposit poor bench-sitters into this... place.

You shortly loose your fascination with the dirt and the bench, looking around now to see an advanced-looking, shiny room. There are monitors to the left of you, and keyboards to the right. Along the center is a carpet, with a four colour twirl pattern running lengthwise, the colours of Bon Bon and Lyras' manes. The decor on the left side of the room seems to fit Bon Bons' style of candy shop, while the right side is... Your mind draws a blank. What pony, in their right mind, gets decor themed to rounded pinky-white claw... things?!

Shaking the horror out of your mind, you refocus and decide on a next move. Go investigate more, or just leave the way yo-. You slap yourself for your awful memory.

You trot deeper into the strange, echoing room. That was a hell of a fall, if the roof has enough room to echo, you mention to yourself.

Two hallways branch off, one to the left, and one to the right. Left!

Bon Bons' decor style follows you down the long hallway, until you come upon another room, a smaller one than the first, with a bugbear inside a glass container. That better be some tough glass, you worry.

BANG!

You turn sharply to the sound, finding a metal door smashing to the ground. Panic quickly overtakes you, as you jump from one hoof to the next nervously. You can't get out! What if you never make it out?! You'll melt from the summer days and metal! You don't want to melt!

"Hello," says a completely unfamiliar voice from behind. You spin sharply again to face the noise... At this rate, something's gonna give. Hopefully the noises, you think.

You come to see a plywood Bon Bon and Lyra, both smiling at you. Smiling in a way that doesn't really make you feel comfortable, in fact. So uncomfortable you are that you make a snap decision. Pounce.

The snapping sound you expect never comes, though. Standing up and looking back, you find that Lyra is in fact lying on the ground, groaning. "What the hay was that for?!" she cries, clearly annoyed.

You reply with a completely incoherent mumble, to which Bon Bon sighs.

"So, you've found our secret hideout. I guess we'd better explain everything to you."

You nod excitedly, before Bon Bon bursts out in laughter. "We told that one to Twilight, too. She had the same reaction, to a tee."

Lyra takes over lead of the conversation, "No, what we're actually going to do, is wipe your memory using this here pen," she gestures to a small black pen with a white clip, which appears to be glowing lightly.

Before you can object, the both of them are wearing sunglasses, for some reason that you only manage to contemplate for a few seconds, before they make the pen do a flashy thing that sends shockwaves through your head, before causing you to fall unconscious.

You wake up in your bed, and shake your head, trying to remove the incessant headache. You get yourself ready for another normal day in Ponyville.

Walking past Lyra and Bon Bon, you notice that Lyra isn't staring at you anymore. So you happily continue, briefly thinking that Lyra's head was meant to be attached to her body. You slap yourself at how stupid that entire idea is.

In fact, it's more stupid than the idea of a half a room decorated in the theme of rounded pinky-white claws. Or than that idea of sanity.

Author's Note:

Welp, I'm not particularly happy with this, but whatever. It's only a little messing-about silly story, so, as long as it's mildly entertaining, it's not too much of a problem .