Transparent Living

by PinoyPony

Chapter 43: You

Diamond felt herself drift onto a shoreline. She coughed, as something was stuck in her lungs… no... her barrel. She dared to take a peek. She gasped. Out of her heart, she found silver tendrils, like weeds growing out of her, stretching to elsewhere.

Strangely, as she took a look around, she found herself on her bedside, not on a beach. This bedroom wasn’t just any old bedroom though. Her very own bedroom back in Ponyville. Only with a couple discrepancies. She noted that some corners of the room looked like the Mid-summer Theater backstage, others like Mane-hattan Elementary, but for the most part, most space was taken up by her foalhood bedroom.

Around the edges of her room, the tendrils weaved and tumbled in array like webs, like tangled threads of Coco’s. However, upon closer inspection, she found silhouettes of ponies attached to the other lines. She barely recognized ponies around the edges of her room.

Suddenly, she heard the fluttering of wings and the landing of hooves against the hardwood.

“Luna? Where are we?” Diamond asked.

“You.” Luna said.

“Pardon?” Diamond asked.

“We are inside the very pure and untainted inside of you, your core, the place where your heart and soul are conjoined.” Luna answered. “To be simple, we’ll call it ‘You’.”

Diamond pointed to the tendrils. “What are ―wait!” Diamond stopped herself and noticed a tendril reaching out of Luna’s heart. She followed the loops and waves, until it ended on Diamond’s heart.

“This is what we call a lifeline.” Luna said. “It’s a connection you’ve made with another pony… I mean, not with everypony you pass by or talk to, but the ponies that you make a lasting, non-superficial tie to.”

Luna waved out to a corner of a room that mimicked the façade of the school hallways. “Let’s start with the hard ones, almost superficial,” The corner of the room illuminated, showing three ponies: Babs, Candy, and Underdog. Each of them seemed in a sleep-like state, with their eyes closed.

“Are we in a merged dream?” Diamond asked warily.

“Oh, don’t worry about it, this is just a projection.” Luna answered. “Anyways, that is beside the point. Notice anything about the lifelines?”

Diamond did. Two of the threads bled red when it reached Babs and Candy. She also noticed that the threads connected elsewhere. To Babs, it connected to her neck, to Candy and Underdog, it connected with their heart. What added intrigue is that Underdog’s line had some red and green faintly in it, but it was almost gone, as if somepony bleached it. Replacing it, was a strong color of blue and it had some flowers woven into the string.

She noted to Luna her observations.

“Very good. We’ll start simple.” Luna said. “Red represents feelings of anger, usually contempt or hatred.” She pointed to Babs and Candy respectively. Made sense.

Luna continued as she pointed to Underdog’s line “Green represents feelings of envy, jealousy, or pride. Lastly, Blue represents soft, yet strong feelings such as sadness or compassion.”

Also made sense. Diamond asked, “Is the reason why the red and green are faint in his line is that he used to have those feelings, but no more?”

Luna smiled. “Quick and Sharp, Diamond Tiara. He used to feel contempt or jealousy regarding you, but once you got to know him, those negative feelings washed away.”

She was about to turn to the next corner, but Diamond interrupted, “What do the flowers mean, though?”

Luna blushed. She sheepishly smiled and said, “If you ever get to see Vertigo’s You, then you’ll see that Napoleon’s line to Vertigo almost seems like a vine then a thread.”

Diamond could feel the burning of her cheeks. That meant Underdog lo―

“Speaking of which.” Luna interrupted, motioning to the next corner. Next up, was a lunch table with Vertigo, Bling, and Napoleon. Each of them had the thread connect to their hearts.

Diamond immediately saw the contrast in colors. The lines were primarily yellow. However, each was unique in a different way. Vertigo’s was solid yellow, not a tinge of any color to take over. However, Napoleon’s and Bling’s lines had a hint of purple in it.

“What does purple mean?” Diamond asked. “I can guess that the yellow represents happiness, but what about purple?”

“You are correct, Diamond Tiara. Yellow denotes happiness, most of it is derived from gratitude.” Luna said. “Purple represents apprehension, anxiety, fear, paranoia, embarrassment.” Luna chuckled. “You did a lot of that with both of them. Napoleon was socially awkward around you and had to swallow his pride when you stood up for Bling. Bling, on the other hoof had to humble himself a lot to apologize for the mistakes he’s made. That began a bright friendship for both of them.

Luna turned towards another corner. She took a deep breath. “This one will be quite unnerving for you. Do you want to go forward to see this one?”

Luna being hesitant wasn’t a good sign. Diamond asked “Is Silver Spoon in that corner?”

Luna nodded grimly.

Diamond gulped. She nodded. “I need to understand what is going on.”

The corner illuminated, an ordinary corner of her bedroom, but with three ponies: Silver Spoon, Coco, and… her father.

Her father’s was blank. A faded shade of yellow was just barely discernable in the thread. The flowers were still there, and healthy, but they were roses.

“Roses mean both a special connection of love, but have a thorny and bitter undertone.” Luna explained. “In contrast to the daisies that we on Underdog’s line, which are you know… puppy love.”

“I got that.” Diamond said. She understood why her father’s thread was so gray. He’d been so distant, so removed from her problems. If she had any trouble with anything, it was Randolph’s duty to listen closely.

…She’d honestly wanted to know how the tired old stallion was doing now.

“If you notice Coco’s, the lilies mean a lot more. I’ll keep that up to interpretation.” Luna said. “Although we all know the nature of the relationship.”

The thread was gold and blue with the undertone of purple slowly being overrun. No surprises there.

Then, she turned to Silver Spoons. She froze. The thread was primarily blue with a couple pricks of red, green, purple, and yellow mixed in. Roses covered the thread. However, that wasn’t the part that unnerved her. The thread had wrapped around her head in a messy bunch, like an unkempt wig. Then, it wrapped around her forelegs, before looping to her heart.

Luna pointed directly at Diamond’s heart. “Notice anything?”

Diamond looked at the many threads coming out, but one she noticed above all. A line was turning black, along with another black thread that had a frayed end.

“What’s with the frayed one?” Diamond asked.

“That is a Lifeline where the pony has passed.” Luna said solemnly.

“You mean… Silver is going to die?!” Diamond shouted.

“Not exactly. But she is on the verge.” Luna clarified.

“You know what? I need to go to Ponyville now! I don’t care what my parents do!” Diamond demanded.

“Diamond, I must urge you that isn’t the wisest of decisions.” Luna said.

“What am I supposed to do then?!” Diamond shouted. “Let my best friend die?”

“It’s a hard decision to watch from the sidelines.”

“I know. Bling mentioned that to me earlier…” Diamond recalled. “W-wait! I also remember something, why did Silver point out that spell? She’s supposed to be an earth pony as far as I remember…”

“That was a volition spell. A morally grey area of casting.” Luna gave Diamond a grim look. "Let's just say a mind that wants to harm itself knows creative ways to do so, even if you aren't the creed."

Diamond shivered.

“You asked, and I answered, but that’s not important right now.” Luna pointed to the final corner. “This is the most important message of all.”

The corner illuminated, revealing a pony she barely saw, but knew better than anypony else.

Her eyes closed, as if asleep, the string stretched from heart to heart. On it, existed all the colors- red, green, yellow, purple, blue, but what frightened her the most… the string was primarily turning black.

“Notice how there are no flowers?” Luna asked.

Diamond’s eyes widened. She turned to the Princess in realization.

“Way too late in life ponies realize that they should learn to love themselves.” Luna said. “I had to learn also.”

“Why is the thread turning black though?” Diamond said.

“I think you already know the answer to that, Diamond Tiara.” Luna said. “Fortunately, it can be delayed.”

The room shifted.

Luna waved out to a moving painting, showing a dark forest “Unbeknownst to you, this was the last dream that Silver had before her attempt… you’ve heard of old buffalo folklore regarding the story of two wolves that exist within us?”

“Yes.” Diamond said. “Wait… you mean to tell me the silver wolf―her armor is a symbol?”

“There are two wolves that exist in ourselves.” Luna motioned to the forest as two silver-clad Timberwolves emerged from the forest. “Here, two Silver Spoons, fighting for control. One belongs to the side, led by the Diamond Princess, and also her friend. The other, is led by her parents, who’ve molded her and created her to what she is. Unfortunately, the two wolves at war…”

Diamond flinched as two wolves made up of interlocking metal parts gnawed at each other necks, scratching and biting, each clash throwing up metal shards and sparks.

“She doesn’t know which side to choose, which side is right. But, with an internal battle within oneself… it only can lead to one path―” Luna’s eyes darkened. “Death.”

For a moment, Diamond caught a glimpse of Nightmare moon’s dragon-like eyes. “Why are you showing me this?”

“Her lesson applies to you as much as anypony else’s.” Luna said. “Don’t try to hide your intentions from me.”

Diamond was acutely aware until that phrase sparked a flare of burning in her chest, an innate reaction to when she was about to be made a fool of. She suppressed it. “I know you are trying to help, but how am I supposed to trust you when you know my secrets?”

“I don’t need you to trust me, Diamond Tiara.” Luna said. “I’m doing this for you and for Coco.”

Diamond’s heart quaked inside of her. The only feeling that kept her from jumping.

“Coco has been through a lot. She doesn’t need to deal with losing you.” Luna said.

“I know. I just want Silver Spoon to get better.” Diamond begged. “Nopony understands what we’ve been through…”

“You’re wrong, Diamond Tiara,” Luna said. “I’ve had the same battle. My two wolves are Luna and Nightmare Moon. Your two wolves are Diamond and Dazzle.

“I’ve envied my sister when ponies respected her day and took for granted my night. You’ve envied Apple Bloom for her close-knit family while yours was distant.

“After I was freed, I expressed self-hatred and never forgave myself for the mistakes I’ve made. After you were given the chance to flee, you never forgot about what you did back in Ponyville.

“We both have yet to overcome our fears of our abilities. For me, an Alicorn Princess that feared her Demonic side. For you, an incredibly gifted filly that feared her blindly ambitious past self.

“You see, we are both afraid that we’ll slip into the ditch our past selves fell into, fearing that our abilities will hurt others.” Luna finished. “But we both overcame it.”

Luna bowed her head. “I have no control over your choices, but I must warn you, be careful with this choice, as it will affect you and those around you. Choosing life or death is not a decision to take lightly. It fully depends on your ability to have a clear head and keep the other wolf at bay.”

“You mean, I will be fighting for the rest of my life?” Diamond asked.

Luna nodded. “But, even amidst the struggle, doesn’t mean it will be awful. Nor does it mean you have to do so alone.” Luna helped Diamond turn around, the strings reaching out to every pony’s life she touched.

Babs, Candy, Underdog, Napoleon, Vertigo, Bling, Babs, Coco, Dad, and Silver Spoon. All with their colorful connections.

“They are there for you, all you need to do is stop suffering in silence. They can’t help you unless you talk to them about what is going on.” Luna said.