Transparent Living

by PinoyPony

Chapter 40: Holding On

Coco smiled as she read the newspaper this morning. It would be great news to share with Dazzle. With these hard times, she knew it was important to focus on the positive. Just as she thought of it, she saw Dazzle walk through the living room, making her way to the kitchen.

As Coco cleaned up the kitchen, she smiled, and tossed a newspaper onto the counter, sliding in front of Dazzle. “Looks like you and your friend made the paper.”

“Thief’s plan foiled by foals: Underdog of the streets,” Dazzle read aloud as she paused next to the counter.

“Underdog couldn’t stop talking about it the other day. It was sure hard to focus on cookies.” Coco laughed. She put the dirty utensils into the sink. “Luckily, we got a good batch in. Unfortunately, no cutie marks, I guess we need you here.” She flashed a smile for good measure.

Dazzle didn’t respond. Instead, she stood captivated by the paper, reading the paper.

“Goes to your head a little bit, doesn’t it?” Coco said. “In my experience, one positive review can dispel the dark clouds of criticism.”

Dazzle pushed the paper away. Tears were slowly coming to her eyes. “I don’t― I didn’t deserve this.”

“Surely you do! Just take a look at what the paper said!” Coco motioned to the text. “You managed to be agile enough to catch up with the thief, even risking injury to help out.”

Dazzle faced away from the paper. She leaned against the counter. Nervously, she rolled down her sweater sleeves.

“Want a cookie?” Coco offered. “We have leftovers!”

“Not right now. I need breakfast,” Dazzle said as she started for the pantry.

“Nono.” Coco held up a hoof. “I do admit, cookies seem improper for breakfast, but would you like French toast?”

“Uhm, sure.” Dazzle said.

Coco pulled up a chair and motioned for Dazzle to have a seat. Sighing, Dazzle obliged.

Satisfied, Coco donned an apron and started the stove. She whisked a mixture of milk and the powder from a nearby kit.

A prolonged silence filled the kitchen, minus the noise of the whisk scraping the bowl as Coco mixed. Coco figured she had to be the one to say something, but didn’t know what to talk about. The weather? Wait! The weather! Cloudsdale had a surprise for Mane-hattan.

“So, Cloudsdale sent out a report that they have a surplus of snow backed up at the weather factories.” Coco said. “Something about the fact that their work was slowed down due to safety precautions. Thankfully, the crops all over Equestria seem to be resilient.”

“Yeah?” Dazzle said.

Coco dipped the bread into the mixture. “Yep. So, dress warm tonight. We are about to receive the last grips of winter.”

“Okay.” Dazzle answered back. “By the way, thank you for mending this sweater.”

Coco looked back to the white sweater she was wearing. She worked hard to bleach the red out of it, thank goodness she used a material that cooperated with the wash well. That, and a couple stitches, the sweater was good as new.

However, she hoped that she could figure a way to mend the pony wearing it. Mending a sweater was one thing, mending a broken spirit was another. The doctor had been vague about the details, but one thing she knew for sure. Keep talking. Establish trust. Once that trust was there, tender loving care would come next.

“Since the weather will be a cold one, I’m going to run to the store to get some ingredients for soup,” Coco said. “You want to come?”

“No,” Dazzle mumbled. “Not really.”

“Why? Coco asked. “I thought you liked shopping with me… used to be one of your favorite pastimes…”

“I’m… just not in the mood,” Dazzle said.

“Not in the mood?” Coco asked. “I would leave you here, but then again, what if I get caught up in the storm? I might need some help…” She figured that talking about vulnerability would be a step in the right direction. The statement was technically true. The storm might delay her.

“I… I’m just tired, that’s all,” Dazzle said.

“Uhm Okay,” Coco said. “I guess I’ll figure something out.”

---

Coco laid in her bed. The was nothing like curling up and reading a book. She managed to get backlogged enough on books lent to her from Rarity that she practically had a book monster sprawling out from her shelf. When it came to Rarity, you would think she’d be into romance novels, but beyond that, Rarity had an affinity for mystery. Ever since the incident with Wind Rider, Rarity earned her spot as a mystery novel enthusiast by clearing Rainbow Dash’s name.

As she shifted in her covers, wondering who stole the diamond pendant in a midnight heist, her stomach growled.

“Oh! Better start dinner!” Coco placed the spare piece of cloth she used as a bookmark where she stopped and hopped off the bed.

Her hooves echoed on the cold hardwood floor. Outside, a snow storm raged. Not quite a blizzard… but still a storm that a pony wouldn’t like to be caught in. Dazzle had some wisdom in not making a grocery store trip, otherwise, the storm would’ve soaked them through.

She decided to take a detour. Check on Dazzle and see how she was doing. She rapped on the Bedroom door. “Hey, Dazzle? I’m about to start dinner. You want to help?”

Coco’s heart gradually sped up when nothing but silence greeted her. The faint peppering of snow could be heard gathering on the windows accompanied by the ensemble of the wind rushing down the streets outside.

“Dazzle?” Coco said, wedging the ajar door further.

Please be asleep. Please be asleep. Coco took a few steps forward, her forelegs starting to tremble. As she approached the bed, she found no occupant.

Coco started to speak a little louder. “Dazzle? Sweetie? Where are you?”

She started towards the kitchen, hoping that Dazzle might’ve fallen asleep on one of the sofas.

Strike two. Where could that filly have gone?

Her heart nearly stopped as she saw an envelope atop the kitchen counter. Galloping now, she picked up the envelope. On it, it had the words ‘Mom’ on it. She ripped it open and started reading the contents.

Her eyes raced back and forth across the paper. Every so often, the words would be muddled by warping of water. With a quick skimming, her eyes locked onto the keyword she needed most: Rooftop.

She booked it out the door not bothering to lock the door behind her. Don’t be too late. Don’t be too late.

She burst through the stairwell and up the grated stairs.

Her mind was going a million miles per hour.

Finally, she shoved her way towards the roof doors and burst into the cold air.

Flurries of snow flew everywhere. The whole world around her seemed encapsulated in a white fog. She could only see to the edge of the nearest buildings. Then, she saw it.

Coco's heart pounded as her eyes witnessed a ghost― a shadow from the past.

"DAZZLE! DON'T YOU BUCKING DARE!" Coco shouted as she rushed forward and pulled Dazzle away from the edge.

"Just leave me alone!" Dazzle said as she pounded on Coco.

Coco clung onto Dazzle, every fiber of her being forming an iron grip around her.

Coco carried Dazzle away from the edge. In the process, Coco almost tripped over the firepit, the form of it hiding under a blanket of snow. Despite the obstacle, Coco still held on tight to Dazzle.

“LET GO!” Dazzle thrashed. “LET GO!”

Coco, not sure what else to do, did what she did out of desperation. Her grip changed. She pulled Dazzle closer to her and wrapped her hooves around her.

“Dazzle!” Coco choked on her words. She couldn’t believe what she was about to say…

“If you jump, then I jump too!” Coco breathed out. Her words were eerily smooth as they came out of her mouth. It glided out of her mouth, seeming more like instinct than actual thoughts.

Dazzle stopped punching and kicking. She looked up to Coco with a mixture of confusion, shock, and tears in her eyes.

Coco squeezed Dazzle tight. So tight, she could feel the slow, eerily calm heartbeat of Dazzle. “Dazzle, I have a confession to make. I haven’t told anypony this, and I don’t know why I haven’t told you.”

Coco took a deep, icy breath. The mixture of the humidity and the cold in combination with the knots forming in her throat made it feel like she was drowning. Managing to muster up strength, she continued, “Dazzle, the reason why I let you into my life so quickly and without hesitation is that the night you came, I was preparing to leap off that very edge. I’ve stared down at that gaping chasm for a long time before mustering up the energy necessary to finally make the jump.”

Dazzle embraced her back. For a long time, she stayed there, even amidst the biting frost of the snow touching their hooves.

“I-I had no idea.” Dazzle sobbed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I should’ve been there to listen.” Coco sniffled. “That’s what I longed for more than anything. Just to have somepony listen to my troubles… not solve them, but to console me with the hard times I was going through.”

“Will you listen to me?” Dazzle asked. The poignant question hung in the air, catching Coco unprepared. Her mind was drawing a blank, yet her heart was speaking for her.

“I will.” Coco said with a smile. “Just as long as you come down with me to dinner. I think I changed my mind to Apple Fritters.” She motioned towards the doors. “Come on. Let’s get out of the snow.”

Author's Note:

Whew! Just got back from a Midterm Exam! Anyways, I'll correct this blog post later, but for now, I hope you've enjoyed the new chapter!

I know the topic is serious, so if any of you are struggling, just so you know, it gets better next chapter (maybe in unexpected ways). It's been a rough year, but you're almost there! Just one step (or day) at a time!