Transparent Living

by PinoyPony

Chapter 39: Alone

As soon as Coco saw the messengers at her door, her mind fell apart to panic. Like a house of cards, she stood tall and composed, but due the state of mild stress she was in, just the slightest agitation would cause her to break down. Thankfully, Florin was with her, collaborating with her on their next project. Both of them had barely come back from their presentation. Summer line was almost upon them, and they had to make sure everything was in tip-top shape.

Coco felt her heart torn every which way in that taxi. No sparing a second, Florin smiled and comforted Coco, helping her to take some deep breaths. Coco was ever thankful for that.

What Florin couldn’t do, however, was stop the whirling thoughts in her mind. The words were burned into her skull, a crystal-clear memory as messengers passed the note to her by as they rushed downstairs. The first thing that her eyes came across. “Coco Pommel, we regret to inform you that there has been a major accident.” She read through the letter, stomaching the descriptions of where Dazzle was injured. At the bottom, signed Doctor Globin. How peculiar. What was he doing in the ER?

The whole ride through town was swift as it was also a blur. She felt detached from the world. The fears of whether her new line would be a success or a flop drifted away as only one thing came to the forefront of her mind: Dazzle.

As soon as she exited the cart, some guards posted nearby marched to her side. Coco found this strange until she noticed droves of reporters trying to push into the hospital. A barricade full of guards kept the sea of never-ending questions from stepping any closer. As soon as one of the guards noticed Coco they waded through the crowd and guarded her as the other guards fanned out to push back the flood. Thankfully, she reached the emergency room doors. Respectfully, her escort guard reached and held open the door.

Inside, a mare in scrubs looked up from a clipboard. “Coco?”

“That’s me,” Coco affirmed, keeping her upright posture, trying hard not to tremble.

“Follow me back,” The nurse instructed. “Doctor Staunch is expecting you.”

Deeper into the hospital she followed. As she did, she looked around. Passing by alcoves that served as waiting rooms, she saw nopony familiar until…

She immediately recognized one of the foals. He was the bully that beat Dazzle up a couple months back. There he was, with a mean smirk on his face, sitting in a plush chair in the waiting room. Now, what was he doing here? Did he have to do with anything with the injuries? Judging by the look on his face, he might have something to do with it, probably taking pleasure in what he did to Dazzle.

Coco had the itch to confront him. Wait… should she? Would she snap under the pressure as she fumed?

“I’ll wait out here.” Florin patted her on the shoulder before she could make up her mind. Florin took a seat in the waiting room.

Maybe Florin would get some answers. She thought nothing more of it as she entered the office of a doctor. He focus was brought to the fact that she was led to a different office than Doctor Globin’s… Weird, wasn’t he the one that sent out that letter?

“Thank you for meeting with me, Ms. Pommel.” The doctor held out a light gray hoof. “I’m Doctor Staunch.”

Coco shook his hoof and took a seat. As she looked around the room, she found it to be stuffed with medical instruments and papers strewn everywhere. In itself it was a sizable room, but with all the clutter it made the room feel a lot smaller than it actually was.

“Pardon my mess. I don’t come in here often. I’m always in the ER anyways…” Doctor staunch settled down in his seat. “Let’s get to it though, has anypony talked to you about what happened yet?”

“Doctor Globin has shared the injuries with me, but didn’t tell me what happened.” Coco firmly stated. “Although I skimmed over his notes. Could you fill me in?”

“She got hit by a cart.” Doctor Staunch said.

Coco gasped. “Is she going to be okay?”

“Yes. Nothing fatal and can and will be mended on her own in two weeks.” Doctor Staunch said. “Most she’ll need to take is a prescription ibuprofen.”

“Did that foal outside in the waiting room push her into oncoming traffic?” Coco asked, she shifted in her seat, trying to keep her composure. When she got her hooves on him, he would regret―

“Nope. In actuality, he dragged her out of traffic once she got hit,” Doctor Staunch answered. He smiled. “It’s a long story that we don’t have time for. I’m sure that the foal outside could answer your questions though.”

He took some papers from the side of the desk and set it in front of Coco. “I do have a couple questions for you though.”

By the grim look on the Doctor’s face, Coco could tell something was off.

He pointed to the diagrams, showing the frontal, side, and dorsal views of a pony. From what she could see, she saw that the gash that Doctor globin gave a brief overview about how the main gash stretched across the barrel. However, something else caught her eye. Circles around both forelegs. To the side, crammed in the margins were scratchy, short notes she couldn’t even begin to decipher.

Doctor Staunch’s expression changed. He pointed to where she was looking at. “Now, this will come off as blunt, but is there any trouble at school? Has she been acting funny?”

“No. Not at all.” Coco shook her head. “Is something the matter?”

Doctor Staunch sighed. “We discovered abrasions on her forelegs also, but these ones are unlike the ones caused by cart… These ones are clean, straight, and appear to be self-inflicted.”

“You mean to tell me―” Coco gasped. So that is why Dazzle insisted in wearing her sweater even though spring was ending.

“I know this is a lot to take in, Ms. Pommel,” Doctor Staunch began. “But since you are listed as the first contact, we need your permission to allow her to go through therapy. She hasn’t said much regarding the subject, but there is stuff that she isn’t telling you.”

Dazzle? Keeping Secrets? To this aptitude? She could wrap her head around some of it, but there was a time to let it all come out. Maybe she could talk to Dazzle after a warm bowl of soup.

“Our records show you are familiar with our therapist, Dr. Glass?” He asked.

Coco nodded. “Very well, actually.”

Doctor Staunch pulled out a sticky note and clicked his pen. “I will recommend her to be the therapist for Dazzle. Are you comfortable with that?”

“If you think it’s a good idea, then I would be more than willing to setup appointments with her.”

He made note of it. “Since all of the above abrasions are shallow, we are able to release her from the hospital in forty-eight hours.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear.” Coco said.

“I’m always happy to pass along good news,” Doctor Staunch said. “In the meantime, we will need to check on her and make sure nothing has changed.” He got up from his chair, tucked a stack of papers under his leg, and trotted towards the door. He held it open.

Coco got up from her seat. “Thank you.” she bowed as she exited.

Coco made her way down the hall. As soon as she made it to the inner waiting room, she saw Florin right next to the colt from before. Florin spotted her and waved at her to come closer.

“Hey, Coco! Underdog here has quite a tale to tell!”

---

The night had come and the apartment had grown cold. Outside, the weather raged as the last hurrah of winter pounded on the windows and face of the building. Coco had her fireplace when the first winds of Cloudsdale warned of the incoming storm, but the warmth’s reach stopped midway through the hallway, leaving her bedroom and work area as cold as a Wendigo’s heart.

Coco was already restless with the tasks of the day. She figured she could go back to sewing and finishing up the line, but no inspiration was flowing through her. True, she could force herself to continue on and work and maybe her muse would cooperate. But, the combination of cold and isolation prevented her from doing such.

She could’ve gone to Florin’s earlier, but not thinking of the storm, she passed the opportunity to go with her friend. She figured she could get some of her tasks done at home, even when something in her heart told her to keep by Florin’s side. She was half-tempted to brave the storm and head over to Florin’s, but she knew that by now the whole family would have gone to bed. Especially considering that Florin was expecting and had to take it easy.

Mostly, Coco didn’t know how much she missed and needed Dazzle until tonight. She wanted Dazzle to come home tonight… Unfortunately, she had to wait until Sunday. Like a foal anxiously waiting for Hearth’s Warming to arrive, it seemed like the hours squeaked by slowly and every second felt like an eternity.

She had to be content with it anyway. Dazzle needed some time to recover from the accident. Coco knew that she would be selfish for keeping Dazzle from her recovery. After all, the poor thing had more issues than scratches.

As Coco thought of Dazzle, she was reminded of something that she needed to do. Prepare the kitchen for Saturday. Dazzle’s friends were still coming over. Underdog was making sure of that.

Coco made her way towards the kitchen and decided to prep the baking equipment. Somehow, someway, on top of her crazy schedule, Dazzle had talked her into letting her friends come over tomorrow and make chocolate chip cookies. Supposedly an activity that could potentially have some of them earn their cutie marks.

Coco at first thought it was highly unlikely that one of them would get a cutie mark in cooking, but she agreed for the simple fact that she enjoyed cooking, maybe she could perfect her craft by showing others how to cook.

Of course, after the events of today, the feat of earning a cutie mark, especially with Dazzle around, didn’t seem like longshot. She couldn’t believe the story. Underdog, one of the school bullies that beat her around was now thankful for her when he got his cutie mark. A cutie mark in the same day that a friendship was formed. Maybe that was the secret.

Anyway, somehow, they dodged a lot of carts in order to catch a thief. Dazzle got hit in the process, but Underdog dragged her out. Somewhere in between, he got his cutie mark.

As Coco wiped down the mixing bowl, she couldn’t help but think that maybe his mark appeared when he pulled her out of the middle of the road. It was the most likely.

Coco set the mixing bowl down on the table with the rest of the utensils.

Florin was equally excited for him. Who wouldn’t be though? The colt just got his cutie mark, and in a chaotic way, nonetheless.

Coco turned back towards the living room. She was done with the dishes and would like nothing more than to rest next to the crackling fire.

As she walked, her mind reeled back to the concerns and mixture of emotions that Underdog was expressing to her. Surprisingly, even though he had so much to be happy for, he still felt bad that Dazzle got hurt in the process.

Florin clarified to Coco that Underdog helped Dazzle not move after being hit. He knew that if she moved after an accident like that, she would be furthering the damage done. He also kept her calm even though something like this could be fatal.

The conversation went on to him asking more if Dazzle was okay. Coco mentioned that she was able to get out tomorrow afternoon, so that was good. However, there was something that Coco caught in his eyes that spoke silently to her.

He saw the cuts on her forelegs. He knew. He must’ve saw. Most importantly, he was worried for her.

Coco was worried also. But, as if he were reading her mind, he quickly turned the subject around, not wanting to go into further detail. He mentioned he had a friend in the hospital too, and he needed to go see how she was doing.

Before he left, Florin said her goodbyes, but let the activity that Dazzle’s friends were doing tomorrow slip, expecting he was one of the invitees. He turned around, and said he heard nothing of the matter. Coco half-expected the conversation to turn sour after that, but one thing led to another, and Florin invited Underdog to tag along.

As Coco settled on the couch, she wondered how the events of tomorrow would pan out. Mixing Underdog with those set of foals could be quite disastrous, but Florin insisted that he’d come. Coco guessed that she shouldn’t worry about it. Florin always had her back.

As Coco nestled in the couch, her mind mulled over a memory. She remembered the warmth of Dazzle as she and her rested on the couch after the Corrosion hit the school.

Coco got up off the couch, flinching at the hollowness of it all. The worry and emptiness that Dazzle had felt for Vertigo had manifested itself in Coco. She now felt her pain. It was an odd connection and one that she didn’t want to think about at this time.

Probably a good time to get to bed.

She poured water over the fire, feeling the apartment fall a couple degrees with every drop.

As she progressed into her room, she couldn’t help but feel the tugging at her heart, like an impression from before: reach into her desk for that letter. She knew that she couldn’t dig it out, for it would release old, darkened feelings. Why would she want to bring it out?

Still, though. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she might need it soon.

Going over to her desk, she reached inside the drawer carefully. Carefully enough that she wouldn’t prick herself on stray needles. She set the envelope on the desk.

Temptation started to swirl around her as she looked at it. Perhaps she could finish the job and mail it tonight.

No. She couldn’t. It was just a day and another without Dazzle.

Frustrated, she shoved the letter back into the drawer and climbed into bed.

Spreading the blankets over her, she curled up.

Inside the shell of her blankets, thoughts started spreading through her mind. Inside of her, she felt like she did something wrong. What was with that letter anyway? Nothing of great importance… it would just have as much impact here as it did elsewhere. Either way, it would eventually find its way to her family and friends.

But Coco was always paralyzed in her own bed. She closed her eyes and began to take a couple deep breaths.

Tears came to her eyes.

In a lonely apartment, braving a storm inside herself, Coco cried herself to sleep.