• Published 22nd Apr 2021
  • 2,146 Views, 77 Comments

I summon... - Xinrick

  • ...

Chapter 8

The last two days here in Equis have been… a challenge. Firstly, Sunset and Pure are both hell bent on fighting at every turn. While they don't fight while I'm looking at them, they fight the second my back turns.

Try as I may these two just won't stop…

I was taking a break from them right now by hiding in the throne room with Celestia as she read over and signed or burned documents.

“Seriously, how the hell did you manage to deal with those two?” I asked Celestia nervously.

"Cake and wine helps." Celestia said as she looked over a scroll. "Other than that I learned it's best to just let them tire themselves out."

“I have half a mind to drop em both if they don’t stop this incessant fighting.” I frowned. “Probably the only thing that will make them stop…and I hate that…”

"I wouldn't. Last colt to break up with Sunset I had to put into witness protection. They're a griffoness now."

I gulped… gender and species change?!

“What the actual hell is wrong with her?” I asked in horror.

"Hm? Oh, no no, the ex in question found out they were transgender. The species thing was so they could have children with their new husband."

Oh thank god… good for them?

“Alright…so at least this land handles that a lot better than in my original home world…” I shook my head.

"Magic allows for many things."

“Alright, so I thought you had to change their race and gender, as well as witness protection, because Sunset was going completely apeshit over being either dumped or cheated on.” I said carefully, immediately trying to not think about how Earth’s whole thing kept ranging from ‘you do you’ to ‘deranged lunatics’.

"Oh no, they went into witness protection because they witnessed a mob boss murder. Sunset took the break up well actually."

Well then why did… did… did Celestia just… troll me?

“Did…did you just troll me?” I asked with a growing frown.

Celestia kept looking at her scroll, but smirked. "I am afraid I have no idea what you're talking about."

“Woman I swear.” I groaned. “I’m trying to be serious here and trying to figure out how to get those two to stop…”

"I can think of a way." Celestia said plainly. "Fair warning, it will only work for nine months to a year or so."

“Getting them pregnant won’t actually solve the problem.”

"It would temporarily. Plus making them mothers would mean they'd put the care and love of their goals ahead of their rivalry. As much as they bicker, I know neither would want to do something to cause harm to their own or each other's foal. Sunset for wanting a family she never got to have, and Pure for wanting to be the parent hers were never. Affectionate and loving without condition."

“That would be great, if their ‘rivalry’ wasn’t really to the point of breaking bones and being bloodthirsty towards each other every waking moment.” I countered.

"You think either would risk traumatizing their own foals over it?"

“They have been physically assaulting each other since Sunset has woken up, so yes.” I answered. “Bruises, broken bones, way too much blood and all the screeching and name calling…there’s a difference between ‘sibling rivalry’ and just plain wanting to murder each other, the only reason why they haven’t been able to is because magic exists and it wouldn’t get that far, and if it did actual adults would step in.”

"I know my daughter and niece well enough Mike. I only raised the both of them."

“And one of them ran and the other look’s and kinda acts like a spoiled rich kid, so I think there’s some disconnect going on that I’m not getting here.” I countered, honestly not understanding how actual bone breaking and blood smearing violence is just a ‘silly sibling rivalry’ to her. “I know you're a literal Goddess but…come on, read the room here.”

"Says the colt who forgets he's speaking to a sun goddess." Celestia said, giving me a raised brow.

“Look me in the eyes and tell me this is okay?” I told her. “I have had to help heal sixty broken bones, dozens of knocked out teeth, and had to clean up so much blood and chips of horns in two days from each. How is that okay Ms. Sun Goddess?” I asked, feeling exhausted and scared for the both of them and having their foster mother act like this is a complete non-issue is just…baffling to me.

"Alright then, so what alternative would you propose that I haven't already tried?"

“I don’t know, I don’t know what you have tried and haven’t tried, I’ve only been doing…any of this shit for like, three four months!” I answered.

"I've tried therapy, medicines, memory alterations, taking them to the underworld and letting them torment their father, sending them on life and death missions of mainly bonding, nothing worked. They sent the therapists to an asylum for fun, gave the meds to the doctors that gave it to them, undid the memory alterations, both tormented their dad for a long time and actually made the committee of soul tormentors consider hiring them. And while they completed every mission they still fought and bickered. At this point I believe the only explanation is that they express their sibling bond through extreme violence towards one another."

I rubbed my temples. “Cause…why not…” I grumbled. “Alright, I’m going to have to ask those two personally, cause apparently they just actively want to spite everyone that tries to get in the middle of their catfights.”

"If you find out the truth let me know. Miracle like that deserves a Heroes Reward."

With that I was walking to the room Pure and Sunset typically where this time of day.

The guards combat arena. I walked inside only to be surprised that the only sound was of a mare practicing spear thrusts against a training dummy. She was the same white coat colors as Pure but had a short neon blue mane.

“Hey there.” I said to the mare.

"Hm?" She looked over at me, then stood at attention. "Greetings, Private Gleaming Shield at your service Mike."

“It’s nice to meet you Gleaming, mind if I ask if you’ve seen Sunset and Pure around? I need to talk to them about their blood feud.”

"I haven't seen the princesses around sir."

I sighed. “Well…what are you doing here by yourself?” I inquired.

"Training. We've been trapped in those cards for two months and I need to get back in my routine."

“That’s fair.” I nodded. “Also…jeez, it does not feel like two months…” I frowned.

"It's hard not to think about it. My little sister has been having night terrors and developed Claustrophobia as well as her other phobias."

I winced at that. “I’m sorry to hear that Gleaming…I would have saved you all sooner but…well, Canterlot is really big and it was only me and Sunset at the start…”

"I understand. I'm not blaming you, and right now other ponies and creatures are all still in them. I just want to do my part."

“Well, you can join me and Sunset in helping take back all the places that were carded.” I said honestly.

"I'd love to, but my Captain won't let a Private out in the field, let alone a battle mission unless I pass my combat exams with a B or higher."

“And how soon is your test going to be?” I inquired, knowing that there should be some monsters that could help her out in training if not the MTF.

"Two years…"

“Right…” I said with a frown. “Well…what if you join the MTF? If you train with us you can immediately join us in our fights and stuff.” I brought up. “Or…I could have you be my ‘personal guard’ or something like that so you won’t have to wait forever.”

"I don't know. No offense but those MTF agents don't all seem to follow the same ethics code, and I'd rather not get special treatment because you have pull with the princess."

“Both are fair and…well, the MTF have to deal with some very…interesting beings.” I said nervously.

"Well, I guess I'll be seeing you around then Mike." Gleaming said.

“Well, I was going to say if you need help training I can summon someone that might help.” I said honestly.

"No thank you sir Mike."

“Well, alright.” I nodded. “But do you know where Sunset and Pure might be if they aren’t trying to murder each other?”

"Most likely either the gardens or out in town."

“Alright.” I nodded. “So…talk to you later I suppose?”

"If you want."

With that I walked off, looking for Sunset and Pure. I checked the gardens, finding nothing but some animals. I walked out into Canterlot town and managed to find them… having coffee?

"So they can go to their moon and back and save information on things smaller than a hoof but their law makers can't let people be themselves because of religion?" Pure asked.

"I know, it's so stupid." Sunset said.

“I mean, another part of it is because of biology.” I brought up. “Seriously, that’s a whole topic that I really don’t want to get into…as well as not having magic, and just a lot of things…so why aren’t you two trying to murder each other again?”

"Taking a break." Sunset said.

"Once we vent out our anger and stress we take a break to talk and catch up on each other's personal lives." Pure added.

I blinked, looking at the two. “I spent two fucking days cleaning up after your bullshit and…this is what I get!?” I asked incredulously, feeling so completely lost that it actually kinda hurt to be honest.

"You mean tending our injuries? We usually just do that ourselves. You're the one who freaked out and went all Doctor on us with healing magic cards." Sunset said.

"Truth be told had he not done that we'd probably have stopped sooner due to the injuries and exhaustion." Pure added.

"I mean… maybe? Did get us board of the fighting though." Sunset retorted.

"True. The fourth time breaking your jaw in a day honestly got boring."

"Same with cracking your ribs." Sunset added. "Used to be a small victory but then it was like, ugh."

My girlfriend's are psychopaths…

I stared at both of them…I tried to rationalize their talk…I really did…”No.”

"Are you alright Mike? You look stressed. Want some coffee?" Pure asked.

“What? Stressed? Why would I be? It’s not like I literally watched both my girlfriends nearly beat each other to death for two days fucking straight, having to heal your broken bones, wipe up your blood and teeth and horn chips, and then having everyone tell me ‘nah, it’s fine, they’re just sisters’, when that’s not how family should act to each other at fucking all, but then see you two just talking about how you’re bored with it all and completely ignoring anything I had to say about it, or tried to stop it…no no no, I’m totally fine.” I said the last part through gritted teeth.

"Mike. We fight. It's how we show we care." Sunset said.

“No.” I told her bluntly. “Not that, that was literally trying to murder her, and I should know, some of those broken ribs punctured internal organs from what Dian Keto told me, important internal organs.”

"Wouldn't have been the first time." Pure shrugged.

"Yeah, I mean, Pure even did kill me once for like… two minutes." Sunset said.

"I'm still sorry about that." Pure added.

"Eh, don't sweat it. Tormentors let me torture dad while I was there. Got to shove an onion up his tail hole and used a spell to make it grow."

"Gross. Did he do that whimper cry?"


They laughed.

I'm dating actual psychopaths…

I…was honestly speechless at this point…but my anger flared as I slammed my hoof into the table and stopping them both from their laughter. “Am I the only fucking sane person here!?” I snapped. “You killed Sunset, my first girlfriend ever, your own sister, and the both of you just fucking laugh about it? Really!? Do either of you hear yourselves talking?”

"I mean, that is how having a conversation goes." Sunset said. "Plus, I came back."

“That’s not what that saying means, you dumbass.” I growled. “It means that neither of you are understanding what you are actually talking about, you died, and you two still think trying to kill each other is fun? Do either of you not see the absolutely insane problem here?”

They both looked at each other. "I mean… it's not a problem for us… that's just how we are?" Sunset said.

"And it's not like if we do die it can't be reversed." Pure added.

… Wait what?

“Alright, so putting a pin on how you two absolutely do not understand the problem here, excuse you?” I asked. “Death can just…be reversed? Like sure, medical science can bring someone back to life if your fast enough, but after a certain point it’s just…no, what?”

"That's science babe. This is magic. Totally different laws." Sunset said.

"Indeed." Pure said. "When I did accidentally kill Sunset, the royal Reaper immediately appeared. Since Sunset wasn't meant to die that day he undid the death and just told us to not make actually killing one another a habit. We've come close but nothing like that time."

Royal… Reaper?

“What?” I asked helplessly. “Royal Reaper? As in you just…have a Grim Reaper on payroll? How, why, and again, when Death itself tells you to stop, why do you keep going?”

"He said not to kill each other. So, we don't. Horribly mame, break and harm sure but near death isn't the same as being killed." Sunset said.

Pure nodded. "He isn't death Mike, he is of flesh and blood and very much alive. He might be a demi god, but is still mortal, and as a Reaper among the living he ensures the citizens of Canterlot do not die until their time comes. Every city and town has one Reaper at least. It's why ponies don't actually die until they live a full life."

"And unlike earth punctured organs, lethal injuries and such as well as illnesses like cancer, aids, all that isn't an issue here. Death comes when you're old and, that's just how it works on Equis." Sunset added.

I felt my right eye twitch. “Oh…so that’s…that’s just…” I took a deep breath. “So back to the part where neither of you see the actual problem and issues that are going on that Celestia was hell bent on trying damn near everything to solve…” I said carefully. “Sunset, Pure…do either of you understand what’s actually wrong with you two? How this ‘it’s just how we are’ is such a weak, pointless excuse to just be psychopath’s that only find some weird enjoyment out of literally beating someone to death?” I asked, looking between the two…but mostly Sunset as I honestly felt…scared of her after all of this. “How I have to hear your bones crack, break and shatter, see both of your blood splatter all over the place, have to clean up your own teeth and shattered horns and…you both just think this is okay? Is that how you think sibling’s are supposed to act to each other? Practically murdering each other at any given moment if they are not watched over constantly?”

"Oh no we know we're fucked up." Sunset said.

Pure nodded. "We are indeed a unique brand of insane. The fact we can beat the living hell out of each other for days on end then just have a coffee break like this and talk like normal people is not lost on us."

“No, it’s clearly lost on both of you if you think that any of this is normal.” I stated. “This is normal, talking to each other, hanging out, being sisters, that’s normal. The part where both of you are literally trying to kill each other at every waking moment is not normal, it’s sick, twisted, not at all what family should be, and both of you should at least be ashamed for having at least part of this bullshit be apart of the worlds biggest pissing contest on ‘who did daddy love more’.” I shook my head. “But no…I’m the crazy one in this situation, how dare I actually give a shit and not just let you two beat the shit out of each other until you’re bored…”

"Normally it's just until we're tired…" Sunset said. "Well, what would you have us do? What is an alternative to our fighting you'd find acceptable?"

“Wha? Not doing it in the first place would be a fucking start.” I said, so unabashedly confused that this is the second time I hear ‘what would you rather us do?’. “Why in gods name would there need to be a ‘what should we do if we can’t murder each other?’, why are you even asking that like it’s not painfully obvious you shouldn’t even be doing it in the first place!?” I asked. “That’s also the reason why you two are completely missing the problem here…” I rubbed my temples, wondering what in god’s name I’m supposed to do or say when these two are so adamant to wanting to maul each other for basically no god damn reason.

"It's just… fun for us." Pure said with a shrug.

"We've just been at it for so long. Would feel weird to not be fighting each other." Sunset added. "I mean, how would you feel if suddenly, someone who you have always been at odds with, arguing and fighting for years of your life just, stopped. Would be pretty awkward and if you're around them all the time how would you act around them? Sure Pure and I have these breaks and such but that's because once the initial anger and hate is vented we can get along."

"Anger and hatred isn't easily let go for some Mike. We may acknowledge each other as sisters, we might even have commonality, likes and dislikes, but we were rivals and enemies first and letting that go isn't so easy."

“No…it is.” I said, which made the two look just as confused as I am feeling. “How would this,” I motioned to the coffee shop ‘break’. “Awkward? How is not literally breaking each other’s bones at any given moment magically a bad thing? At what point do either of you, honestly truly believe, that not trying to actively murder each other is wrong?”

"It would feel like… something is missing." Sunset said.

"I won't lie, it would be a nice change, more time for personal and shared interests but… it would feel like losing something Inside. Something I didn't know I treasured until it was gone."

Sunset nodded. "Like, imagine your friend in the group that was more annoying than anyone and most everyone didn't like suddenly wasn't there. Suddenly, you realize how much you actually liked them and miss them when they're gone."

I looked at the two…I kept trying to fathom what mental gymnastics they needed to go through to justify beating each other to near death.

"Maybe in a different context will help." Pure spoke up. "Sunset told me back in your world, your cards you use were just that, cards, yes?"

“Yes, and I will say, no amount of context will compare to the both of you saying ‘but we’ll miss feeling the bones of my own sister being crushed under my hoof as it’s one of the few things that satisfies me as a person’.” I said.

"Was there someone you played against you hated?" Pure asked. "Someone as good maybe even better than you you hated losing to but jumped at the challenge because it was thrilling?"

I frowned… there was him… jackass…

“So…while the guy was a jackass…you two are actually trying to compare playing a children’s card game that doesn’t involve any bodily violence…to actual cold blooded attempts at murder?”

"It's not the actions I'm comparing Mike. It's the rivalry, the thrill. Do you miss them?"

I raised a brow. I missed everyone from back home. Parents, friends and… yeah alright I even miss that asshole.

“Of course I miss home, why wouldn’t I?” I asked. “Also…again, I still think there’s a disconnect here that both of you aren’t seeing…”

"Because you're only seeing one part of our relationship. Sunset and I are proper rivals. Magic or combat, we're the only ones we can risk losing to. Because we know either one of us could come out on top. You're telling me you never knew the thrill of a proper rival?"

"If it helps, think of it like Goku and Vegeta." Sunset added. "Bitter rivals but a deep respect for one another."

I just…shook my head. “I give up…seeing my very first girlfriend that I love dearly, and someone that wants to truly be my girlfriend, actively trying to explain to me ‘no no, see, all this violence and bloodshed is perfectly fine, why are you the only one that has a problem with it?’...whatever.” I shook my head weakly, just feeling all my anger and concern just wash away for apathy. “I should know better, I’m trying to date a Bright for god’s sake…” I said, just giving up on this entire conversation as nobody will understand how fucked this actually is.

"I didn’t know you were into Wallflower!"

“Considering how much we hang out together, and how Dr Bright seems to have given me some form of an ‘okay’, I’m just some harem protagonist with every ‘villain’ possible…” I shook my head. “So whatever, I give up on this conversation cause you two are adamant on making me watch you two almost murder each other again and again…”

"Would it help if we stopped breaking each other's bones at least?" Pure asked.

“And then what? I see you two literally ripping each other's flesh off to the bone so you can go ‘see, we’re not breaking our bones, so it’s totally okay’.”

"Yeesh… fine. How about this." Sunset spoke up. "Pure and I can look through our spell books, maybe set up a dream realm link and beat each other to our hearts content in a hyper realistic dream arena. No death, no injuries and since it happens while we sleep we can do that while we sleep for the eight or so hours we do."

“Fine…” I sighed, at least it will be happening in fantasy land than actually physically causing harm. “Just…after all of this conversation, I have to ask if either of you even understood how I felt about this?” I asked.

"You're deeply upset because you dislike seeing us cause such physical pain to one another due to having romantic interests in us as well as higher empathy to the situation than either of us do?" They both said in unison… that was a bit creepy… but also not wrong.

“One, creepy, and two…well, yes.” I said. “And the fact that both of you actively didn’t care about how I felt about this whole thing…how both of you admitted to being bored because I was trying to get you two to stop…”

"Well look at it this way." Pure said. "Should someone have the gall to cause you harm, Sunset and I can easily redirect that violence towards them instead."

Pure and Sunset then shared a twisted, evil grin that sent a chill down my spine and I'm sure some of my card spirits gulped in fear.

"Plus if Wallflower joins imagine what she or Bright herself would do?" Sunset added.

Now I gulped. An angry Bright is… definitely something to fear…

“What the hell did I get myself into…” I rubbed my temples, regretting a lot of things right now. “But one thing’s for certain, my feelings barely matter here, and it’s only through me getting royally pissed is when somethings can actually be semi-fixed…”

"You can't expect a miracle Mike. Sunset and I will try to keep our rivalry in the waking world tame, we might insult one another but we do promise to try and make you happy from now on." Pure said.

"Yeah. We didn't mean for you to get so upset. It's just, I guess we're desensitized to it and forgot…" Sunset added.

"From what Celestia told me, the both of you realizing this in any capacity and doing something to at least moderately fix it is a miracle." I admitted. "And there, you finally get something…neither of you bothered to even listen to those that care about you, so fixated on your 'rivalry' that neither of you gave a shit about what others thought or felt about it…and the fact that you two still sound like you barely care, even though your trying to fix this…" I sighed, taking a seat and just resting my head on the table.

"Tunnel vision does tend to do that…" Pure said, sighing.

"You'd think I'd be more empathetic given we've been together for a while…" Sunset added, her ears dropped down as she looked at me.

"So…we're able to start fixing this…and one of the steps is apologizing to Celestia cause she tried damn near everything to get you two to stop but then gave up…she cares about you both as much as I do if not more…"

"This is gonna be awkward…"

And so, I walked the two back to the castle and once they were in the throne room, they apologized.

Celestia, in the shock, accidentally tore a scroll in half.

"You… actually got to them…" Celestia said, mouth agape.

"Apparently." Sunset said. "Pure and I have a compromise with Mike and, well, arguments aside, no more physical brawls but we will be doing Dream Realm fights."

"I suppose we should have considered that option earlier…" Pure added.

"Yes, it took me shouting at them and making them realize that their actions were hurting those close to them to realize all this…" I sighed. "But…we're starting, baby steps, but steps nonetheless."

Celestia stared at us for a time, then face hoofed. "Crap… I shouldn't have offered a Heroes Reward then…"

"You did what now?" Pure and Sunset asked.

"So do I take her hoof in marriage?" I guessed. "Cause from what you all told me about this situation, it was indeed a miracle that I could get some compromise out of it."

"That's part of it…" Celestia sighed. "The other is that as of today the crown recognizes you as a duke of Equestria, and after our marriage, will become a prince of Equestria."

"This means that even more mares, all from nobility as well will be flooding you and when we eventually rescue foreign kingdoms, offers for political marriage candidates will also flood in…" Pure huffed.

"Harem. Protagonist." Sunset added.

"Ugh~!" I whined loudly as I put my muzzle in my hooves. "Whatever…let's deal with the wedding plans…"

"Are you stupid?" Wallflower asked me. I came back to see about bringing her along for this wedding thing. I was picking up the siren sisters but stopped here first.

"Listen, it's not my fault I can apparently work miracles here." I said sheepishly.

"Not that I mean are you seriously trying to ask me to marry you in another dimension?"

"Is it the dumbest thing you've ever heard or done?"

"I mean, kinda yes kinda no?" Wallflower said. "I mostly wanna know why? We're friends sure, I suspect with time would have added benefits to that, but you know I'm a Bright, you know the kind of insanity that luggage is?"

"I literally had to talk to two complete psychopaths that would sooner have a job as Torturers in Hell itself that literally beating each other to an inch of their lives was a retarded thing to do, and had them apologize to a literal Goddess of the Sun for not knowing that's what she was trying to do for at minimum ten years." I stated. "That is considered a miracle to a Goddess and she gave me the Heroes Reward…plus, to be perfectly honest…this whole joke with me being a Harem Protagonist is getting out of hand and I might as well cut to the chase with a few people…"

"... You do know this means meeting my family. My whole family."

“Are they as bad as I’ve read up on before I learned that…you all exist?” I asked carefully. “Or are they all somehow worse? Either through whatever anomalies are apart of them or…personality.”


“So are they the same or worse?” I asked nervously.


I groaned. “Whatever…was going to have to meet them sooner or later if we were going to move to ‘friends with benefits’ anyways.”

"Fair." She shrugged. "Just a heads up, grandpa will try and shoot you. He's very overprotective of me."

Grandpa… so Bright's dad- wait isn't he… an O5…

“Uh…I forgot, isn’t your Grandpa still an O5 member?” I asked nervously.

"Yes." Wallflower nodded.

“Oh boy…” I sighed. “This is gonna be a pain in the ass…”

"Oh that reminds me I'm into pegging so…"

“No.” I said immediately. “That’s one thing I will immediately go no to.”

"Awh. Fine. Maybe I can do it with one of the others?"

I face palmed.

“Anyways…” I tried to get back on track. “So…is it a yes on my proposal?”

Wallflower seemed to mull the idea over for a time. "Well, at least my kids will know who their dad is. Sure, plus hey, pony style sounds like a neat position to do." She said, making me blush.

“W-well…” I said nervously. “I…haven’t tried any of that yet…”

After that awkward but I picked up the siren sisters and we all went back to Equestria- Twilight?

"I see, so the me in this reality is barely in her pre-teens?" Twilight asked Celestia.

"Yes and I must say seeing a teenage version of my student is quite impressive." Celestia replied.

“What are you doing here Twilight?” I inquired.

"Researching." Twilight replied. "I was bored at school so I came here."

Fair… she is a super genius…

“Yeah…that’s fair.” I nodded. “So…how are you enjoying Equestria so far?”

She shrugged. "Was weird meeting a genderbent version of my brother but other than that it's pretty interesting."

"Yes, it would seem Private Gleaming Shield is Equestria's version of her brother Shining Armor in your world."

“Alright.” I nodded. “So there are some differences in this world and the human world besides magic…”

"Yeah, like my pony counterpart is barely eleven." Twilight said. "And kinda a wimp."

"She is a kid." Sunset said.

"I mean, fair I guess? I'll check her IQ later to see if we have that in common or not."

“I mean, she was also stuck in a Card for months and is suffering from it psychologically from what Gleaming said so there’s also that.” I added.

"I suppose we should get to it then…" Celestia sighed. "Anyone not marrying the colt here today please leave the room."

Guards and such left the room. To my surprise Twilight didn't. "Eh, my parents worry about me finding someone someday and this is a good excuse to not deal with it when I get older."

“Wait really?” I inquired, a tad surprised that Twilight would want me of all people…even if it’s a ‘well, don’t have to worry about it later’ kind of thing.

"Eh, better someone I already know than actually going out and trying to date." She shrugged.

"Right, well then." Celestia started, clearing her throat. "All gathered here today are present to bare witness to Sir Mike and his honoring of the nobility rank and title of Duke. The highest nobility ranking under my own within the crown." Celestia lit her horn and now I was sporting a pin with a shield bearing a crown on it. It seemed to be held to me via magic. "Now, also, all gathered here today are here as Sir Mike shall be taking the hooves in marriage to myself and all the mares present here. Once kisses Sir Mike shall be formerly recognized as a Prince of Equis and his brides not myself shall be princesses unless they already are. The title of Prince shall make Sir Mike equal to none other than myself and his mates." Celestia leaned down to my height level. “And this is the part where we kiss."

“Uh…s-sure…” I blushed a bit, still not used to this as…this whole ‘wedding’ thing was being thrown at me really quickly but…fuck it, I have to roll with this, so I leaned over and kissed Celestia on the lips to signify our marriage.

Her lips tasted a lot like sugar and frosting.

Then one by one I kissed everyone else.

"This concludes the marriage." Celestia said, lighting her horn again, this time all of us got small crowns on our heads.

"That was anticlimactic." Sunset said.

"Normally it would be far more showy and be of big importance but the kingdom is still in a crisis."

“Yes, and I still need to fix it.” I said readily. “I need to head to the closest important place next and why are a lot of you staring at me like that?” I asked nervously, seeing a lot of…hungry stares towards me all of a sudden.

"Oh that would be the Heat spell that comes with the marriage ceremony." Celestia said. "It ensures the marriage is consummated after it's done. Don't worry we're not actually in heat just experiencing the symptoms of it."

“But…but I like my pelvis…” I said in fearousal, slowly backing away from the rather…big amount of mares all slowly moving towards me.

"To be fair you didn't have to do the marriage thing right away." Wallflower said, laing next to me in the huge bed. Ice on my crotch as almost a full days worth of sex, sex magic and more lube than was probably needed later I was sore, a bit swollen and completely empty down there… didn't help Celestia was also so much bigger and… dear God those spells… I'll be having arousing nightmares for months…

“Oh now someone tells me.” I groaned.

"I forgot how fun magic and sex could be." Sunset added, currently playing the role of a pillow for me with my head firmly resting on her belly.

“I mean…it was cool but still…” I said carefully. “Celestia is…very freaky in bed…”

"And those three were not?" Pure said, using my belly as a pillow.

"We're as old as she is, is it surprising over the years we developed some kinks?" Adagio asked, using my arm and her incredibly fluffy/curly mane as a pillow.

"It also didn't help I had been on a two century long dry spell til now." Celestia admitted, currently curled around all of us like a big dog, a wing gently covering us all.

"So that was sex… not bad." Twilight said.

“Well…glad you're all satisfied.” I said honestly.

"We should get some rest. Mike especially given I doubt he will be walking for… several days." Celestia said.

"Gotta admit, I expected him to throw in the towel after Pure." Aria said.

"Yay! Husband number forty!" Sonata said.

“I am very stubborn…” I said carefully. “But after this, we really should hurry to saving the rest of the world…”

I spent the next few days recovering and thanks to healing magic and some medical cream I was up and walking again.

I quickly went back to the almanac and was looking over the nearest locations. Hmm… looks like… Ponyville. It's the second biggest farming land on Equestria and the largest in Apples, Carrots and Pears.

Food wise it will help keep itself and Canterlot stocked. Train leads right to it. Will definitely be a necessary grab. As is, Canterlot is rationing food and water. The city doesn't have many farms given it's on a mountain.

“Alright, so off to Ponyville.” I said readily. “The farm’s are going to be helping us out a lot if we can make quick work of whatever monster or Monarch is controlling it.”

I closed up the almanac and-

"Cuddles." Suddenly Sonata was wrapped around me.

“Whoa there Sonata.” I said quickly. “Where did you come from?”

"Cuddles." She repeated.

“While Cuddles are nice, why the sudden want of cuddles when I’m about to head off to Ponyville?”

"Cuddles." She repeated again.

I gently head pat the adorable equine. “Alright, where are your sisters?”

"Cuddles." I rolled my eyes and walked off, Sonata still attached to my side as I eventually found Aria in the spa room.

“Hi Aria…help?” I asked, motioning to the adorable pony that was trying to become joined at my hip begging for cuddles.

Aria looked over at me, then laughed. "Congratulations my guy."

“I asked for help, not congratulations.” I said with a pout. “She says cuddles but…I have shit to do.”

"Well good luck cause for the next nine… or twelve, pony bodies so depending on Equestria or human world bodies she will be stuck to you til nine months to a year is up."

“Wait, she’s pregnant!?” I yelped in panic. “How? It was the one time and…is she super clingy?”

"That's how Sonata is when she's pregnant, she's had thirty nine husbands before you, we know how she gets when she is. Plus it only takes one time and it's not like any of us were using protection or spells that prevented it from happening." Aria shrugged. "Also not surprised Sonata is the first to be knocked up."

“Oh no…” I muttered. “I have to help get the world uncarded…”

"Hey what did you expect Harem Protagonist. You bed a bunch of mares they're bound to end up pregnant sooner or later. Some of them might already be pregnant but don't know it yet. Sonata Is a weird case but eh, for all you know we all could be knocked up."

“Crap…” I muttered. “Alright Sonata, that’s enough cuddles, I have work to do…”

"Cuddles~" She said, squeezing tighter.

"Yeah she's not gonna budge." Aria said.

I sighed. “God damn it…”

"Just take her with you."

“You want me to bring a pregnant woman with me on a very dangerous mission?” I deadpanned.

"Sonata fought in the French Revolution six months pregnant with triplets and sent twelve nobles to hell personally. Trust me, that mare can fight pregnant or not. Actually I think she's even more effective while pregnant."

“Well…I suppose that’s a good thing.” I said, honestly shocked by that.

"Cuddles." Sonata said again, this time nuzzling into my neck.

"Alright Sonata, time to head off and do adventure stuff." I said readily.

I awkwardly walked to the train station with Sonata still clinging to me and gathered a few MTF agents for the trip. From the distance Ponyville didn't seem that bad. A bit overgrown maybe but all in all intact.

I sat in my personal cart with Sonata still clinging to me like a backpack now.

“Alright, so any reports on Ponyville?” I inquired to one of the MTF soldiers.

"Usual various monsters and such. Most are plant, rock and animal based." The MTF agent said.

“Alright…so rocks are the main thing, so we’re probably going up against Granmarg, the Rock Monarch.” I said with some thought.

"Will that be a problem?"

“I mean, he’s the Earth Monarch, so total control over the Earth…and if memory serves…do you know of Alexander from Final Fantasy? He’s kinda built like that castle, just less machine and more brick.”

"Not a gamer."

I sighed. “Alright, so Alexander is basically a giant sentient castle with the power of god’s holy wrath behind it, now take out the machinery and god’s vengeance and you get a guy that’s as big as a house and it's like a freight train with the power of the earth

"Sounds like a heavy hitter. Any weaknesses?"

“Well…no idea.” I said carefully. “I can only guess wind and water would be his greatest weakness due to erosion and the like but I’m not a hundred percent sure.” I said carefully, looking out the window and seeing our next battlefield getting closer as I readied myself and whatever water and wind monsters I had.

To be continued...