Hazy Hooves
Hazy is a slim young woman in her late teens. She stands about twice the height of the ponies around her, wearing the gold trimmed white suit of the Canterlot Exchange stewards. With a brilliant smile and a breezy confidence to her step she could be a student from anywhere on Earth. The only sign that she is not all that she seems is her hair, which is an inhuman lilac-grey. Standing in front of the mirrored surface of portal B-1 she, with quiet encouragement and more than a little hands on education, guides a number of shaky hooved ponies away from the portal. The stream of ponies passing through, however, soon abates and she makes her way over to the wooden bench where I am sitting.
“So, that’s my job,” she said, sitting next to me. The benches are low and sized for ponies and she ends up with her legs folded up close to her chin. “Not the most glamorous role, but it pays the bills.”
“It’s fascinating,” I admit. “I’m amazed that teaching people to be ponies is a full time job.”
Hazy lets out a little bark of laughter. “Not so much teaching them, more getting them walking so they don’t block the portal . Of course, I end up carrying a few. The portal will only stay open for a few minutes and if we don’t get everypony through in time then it's the stewards who get in trouble.”
“This happens a lot?”
“About one in ten.” She shrugs, fiddling with the buttons on her jacket. “Of course, they tend to come in clumps. Early morning most ponies are commuters or seasoned travellers and they barely miss a stride coming through. Later in the day, though, you get the vacationers who think walking on all fours is just simplified crawling and those are the ones you have to watch.” Hazy rolls her eyes. “There was one time when a whole coach party, fifty or so schmucks, came through all at once and not one of them had a clue what to do with their legs. Thankfully, we had a few strong earth ponies waiting in line to go the other way, because we had to drag a dozen of the idiots out of the way of the gate like foals.”
A groan escapes her. “Oh yeah, and then there are foals. Little kids I love, they just bounce onto all fours and are away within moments. Babies... well, babies can’t figure out why they don’t have fingers any more and just start screaming and never stop. Why anyone would take their yearling to Equestria I have no idea, but I need an aspirin every time some moron decides it's a good idea.” Hazy shakes her head, smiling to herself. “Ah well, at least they’re the exception to the rule, and I have to remind myself of the perks.”
“Is being human one of those?” I ask, anticipating my answer.
“Yep!” A smug grin plasters itself on Hazy’s face as she wiggles her fingers in front of my nose. “And free trips to Earth, and a load of other little benefits, especially if you’re willing to go the extra mile and wear one of these.” She lifts a hefty pewter and brass amulet from underneath her jacket and shows it to me. Even at a distance it fizzes and sparks as my magic slides off the edges of the spell.
Hazy picks up on my confused expression. “Humanising spell,” she explains. “Well, anti-ponyizing spell really. Equestria is always trying to make non-magical things magical, so you need a big magical spell to keep a mundane creature like a human, human.” She frowns, chewing on her lip. “Hmm, that didn’t sound right, my briefing explained it a lot better. Anyway, this thing will keep me human for another day or two, more if I stick close to a portal.”
“Do you have to wear that often?”
“Well, have is a strong word.” Hazy shrugs. “I’ve been volunteering to be the designated human a lot lately. Company policy is for every steward to have at least some idea of how to walk as a human and a pony so the amulet gets passed around a lot, but whenever there’s call for hands on work I put up a hoof to volunteer.” She seems to catch my surprised look. “Oh, don’t worry, I’m not trying to escape being a pony. Truth is, I’m practicing for next year.”
I cock my head. “Next year?”
“University,” she replies, grin growing even wider. “I got the news about a week ago. I’m going to be the first cross-dimensional student to attend university in London.”
“Oh, congratulations!” I say with false surprise, drumming my hooves on the bench. “What will you be studying?”
“Early twenty first century history, basically anything post Berlin Wall, which I guess you’ve never heard of.” She rolls her eyes. “Now, before you start, I’ve heard all the questions. What’s wrong with Equestrian universities? Why not something more useful? Won’t it be too strange? The answers are, they’re full of boring regressive morons, more happens in two years of human history than two thousand years of Equestrian, and strange is good!”
“I sense some burned bridges,” I say with a smirk.
Hazy lets out a bitter laugh. “Damn right. Not that I regret burning any of them. Equestria is just so... backward compared to Earth. You want to learn in Equestria? It’s either magic if you’re a unicorn or weather work if you’re a pegasus. There’s no philosophy, there’s no history, there’s no theoretical maths or engineering.”
I chew the tip of my pen. “Though we have all of those things,” I point out.
“As vocations,” Hazy exclaims. “As idle hobbies for the rich and bored. Humans are always learning, they thrive on it, their civilisation is built on it and ponies... ponies just sit here.” She points at the gate. “Look at that thing, the magic involved is on a scale never imagined, but the original mirror portal was over fifteen hundred years old. In fifteen hundred years, humans went from stone forts to metropolises. In fifteen hundred years ponies have gone from stone forts to larger stone forts and I never thought that was a problem until I realised just how badly we measure up. We could be so much better than we are and nopony cares!”
Hazy pauses, shakes her head and lets out a deep sigh. “Heh, and look at me. Already a rabble rousing student and I haven’t even been to my first lecture yet.” Splaying out her fingers she stares at them for a long moment. “I just wish I didn’t have to go. I love Equestria. I love being a pony. But I love learning too, and I can’t do that here.”
“Don’t worry,” I say, putting a hoof on her leg. “Things will change.”
“Will they?” she shoots back. “Equestria seems caught on a wheel sometimes. All that happens is the same ancient evils keep rising up and the same heroes keep knocking them back down. There’s no growth, no learning, just this stagnant little kingdom that gets a little less utopic every day.” She stands, suddenly her hands balling into fists. “I don’t want it to keep happening. I’m going to university to prove that there is more out there for us, and that everypony should be willing to learn everything they can from humanity. Then things will change then... things will have to change then.”
She shakes her head. “I need to get to the next portal,” she says, her eyes fixed in the middle distance. “Thanks for letting me talk.”
“Safe travels,” I reply as she strides away. I don’t think she hears me.
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A nice contrast with the attitude of the previous chapter's character.
Yup, this guy gets more and more suspicious. I can't tell if he's actually malicious, though. Those two on't always go hand in hand.
Well, it's better than the corporate work/money/greed sh*thole that is Earth. I'd rather live there than here.
I laughed way too much at this comment of hers.
There is a downside to this too many people experience. So much to study, so little jobs and opportunities to actually use it. I suppose in this setting Equestria might open up a new region for learned workers to possibly apply their skills?
I want to believe both Twilight's and Celestia 's long term goals are to find a middle point between ponykind "Harmony" and humanity "Chaos", to avoid the stagnation of the first and the strife of the second
"Ponies - FUCK YEAH!"
"Humans - FUCK YEAH!"
I can see company events being a bit tense with these two in the room.
I remember reading theory about how our education system and society in general is putting to much emphasis on specialisation and usefullness. If you look at how Equestria seems to be, it does look even worse, so I can see some more adventurous ponies making the choice to move to Earth for studying purpose.
Still going for a cruel desilusion. Studying for the sake of studying is much devalorised these day.
The sad truth is as a species the ponies seem less inclined to innovation, there are of course stand out individuals who "buck the trend". Twilight is a great example, her thirst for knowledge is unparalleled, and she is able to create things rather quickly. She did find a way to "break the rules" of the mirror portal and open it on demand in a few hours. She's managed to neutralize foes quicker than when they where first defeated and turned 2 major threats, Discord and Nightmare Moon, into allies. I expect a lot of innovations in Equestria come from Twilight directly.
I think another reason they don't innovate actually stems from their breeding practices, from what we've seen ponies don't have a lot of kids and older siblings seem to be much older. Slowing breeding means a small population, and Equestria clearly has tons of resources, if necessity is the mother of invention then lack of necessity causes stagnation. Contact with Earth will change that, the ponies will feel obligated to help their human allies and innovation will be needed to do so.
Okay that proves he's not a reporter or a book writter.
I'm starting to wonder if Sandy is Celestia in disguise trying to find out what ponies really think about humans and earth.
This was an interesting chapter. It contrasted very strongly with the previous one and I enjoyed this part. It's the first of them that actually shows a pony (or even a human) really being positive and optimistic about things Earth-side. Personally, I hope we'll be seeing a few more of these. Not just to make it even-handed, but mostly because I personally enjoy this part of the story the most. Portraying how humans see ponyland is what every HiE story here does, but the outside perspective on humanity, giving us a fresh perspective on our own strengths and weaknesses, that is really what I read science fiction for.
6831075 I would not be in the same room when Terry finds out about that one.
6831345 Thanks, I had a lot of fun righting this.
6832273 Happy to oblige
6832862 The grass is always greener.
6833168 Give them a chance, it's only been twenty years. To steal a quote.
6833345 There's a long debate to make between too much and too little oportunity for education. Too little, and you miss out of the genius just burried beneith the surface, but too much and you end up spending a lot of money for very little gain. It's a difficult sweet spot to hit.
6833516 Yeah, it's always an interesting debate when you get into the backstory of Equestria as to what Celestia's goals are. There's a tendency for Celestia to stand for order, with this perfect unchanging kingdom under her iron hoof, but I've written settings where she's surfing the wave far more than actually controlling things. It's very much author fiat I think, though Interviews leans more towards the former than the later.
6833544 No one will ever mention the company Hearthswarming party again
6833557 Yeah, it ends up being studying just because you're expected to, which isn't alway a great thing. I'm all for access to education, but I've known plenty of people who would have got on just as well in life without the degree, and the debt.
6833787 There was this great theory that never made it into one of my other stories, that Equestrian development is slowed by cutie-marks. They prevent retraining, as ponies have a biologically determined set of skills, and, while you get experts in the form of new marks, you have to wait for their bearers to grow up for them to be of any use. The system puts a hard cap on how fast you can innovate.
6834246
6834713 Great to hear you're enjoying things wlam
Alright enough of this. Who is our "reporter"? Celestia, Luna, or more likely, Twilight? ...could be Discord, though I doubt he'd take such a roundabout method..
And for them to know of Hazy's acceptance, change form, get into restricted access areas, and apparently have the power to change things? It's got to be one of our Alicorns.
...and Twilight found out others could ascend. So, I suppose it's possible it could be one of the other 6 or even Starlight..
My money is still on Princess goodness..
6834965 It looks like billymorph is having a lot of fun dropping breadcrumbs about our author, and frankly it's a lot of fun trying to notice them.
Yeah are Decades are basically eras now 70's with its free love and Woodstock the 80'S with the end of the Cold war and the 90's with the dot com revolution. So much stuff happens in 10 short years now its pitiful and that's just one country the U.S.A.
I like her name
6840196
...and the 2000s with either the broadband revolution or the YouTube revolution, depending on how you look at it.
(Given that, often, the details that we associate with an era's culture begin half-way through.)
* Steam entered public beta in 2003, YouTube was founded in 2005, and we've spent the last decade seeing the rise of other broadband-related services.
* Dial-up Internet burst into the public interest during 1995 and 1996.
* Home electronics, 3D graphics, "80s fashion", and post-Atari video gaming began their meteoric ascent around 1985. (eg. The NES came out in Japan in 1983, in North America in 1985, in Europe in 1986, and in Australia in 1987)
* The first home Pong console was invented in 1975, the cultural melange we associate with "the 70s" began around 1975 and the Atari 2600 was first released as the Atari VCS in 1977.
* The Apollo and Gemini programs, combined, ran from 1962 to 1972 and "The Summer of Love" which catapulted "'60s free love" into the public consciousness was in 1967.
* I don't remember specific events but, if you watch old movies or TV shows, stuff produced from about 1955 to 1965 has a coherent "50s" feel to it.
The recovery from World War 2 seems to be to blame for the offset since the Marshall Plan didn't come into effect until 1948 and, in some countries (eg. China (1952)) it took until almost 1955 for the economy to recover to pre-war levels. Prior to that, the pattern seems to match decades more directly (and with more variation, reflecting a less interconnected world):
* World War 2 ran from 1939 to 1945
* The great depression ran from 1929 until World War 2 but some countries managed to start pulling out of it years earlier
* The Roaring Twenties ran from the end of World War 1 to 1929 in Canada, The U.S., and Western Europe. I don't know what was going on elsewhere.
* World War 1 ran from 1914 to 1918
I don't know much about what went on prior to that, but World War 1, combined with the technologies that were just being invented at the time, seems to be what gave things the kick they needed to break out of older, slower, more rigid patterns. However, I do know that there was an era of optimism in the power of science which ended with the sinking of the "unsinkable" R.M.S. titanic in 1912 and probably began at least as far back as the patenting of the telephone in 1876, the invention of the phonograph in 1877, and, in the scientific world, included things like Einstein's discovery of special relativity in 1905.
As for the future, I suspect that we'll see the decade from 2015 through 2016 being characterized by something related to smartphones and/or something related to VR headsets, but it's difficult to predict an era at its beginning.
Congratulations! You just summed up MLP: FiM in three sentences.