It was a balmy spring day in Ponyville. The pegasi had left a few clouds lazily floating in the gentle breeze that blew in and around the peaceful little town. It was altogether, a calm and regular day. Somewhat of an oddity, given the excitement and seemingly random shenanigans that occurred almost daily in Equestria, so everyone was relishing the relaxing atmosphere. Everyone that is, except for one lone pegasus filly sitting in a small clearing on the property of Sweet Apple Acres. Normally this little pegasus would be with her two best friends, trying to earn their cutie marks, but sadly for Scootaloo, the others were occupied.
Apple Bloom had gone with her family to a reunion of the Apple clan being held in Neighsconson. Sweetie Belle was learning how to better control her magic from Rarity. That left Scootaloo alone with her thoughts. She lay on her back staring up at the sky as the clouds rolled by.
“Looks like another day alone, but what else is new?” Scootaloo sighed and closed her eyes thinking of the one thing she didn’t have besides a cutie mark. Family. “Apple Bloom's got that big family of hers. Sweetie Belle's got her sister and her parents. What do I got? A whole lotta nothin’!” The filly huffed and clenched her eyes shut in frustration.
Why did her parents leave her, she wondered. Did they not want her? Were they just cold and uncaring? Or did they just not have any way to provide for her? Scootaloo wished she could at least have an answer, some reason she could put as to why she was alone. But she had nothing. So she just lay there and before too long she fell asleep in the midday sun. Dreaming of a day she could have a family to love her.
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Not so far away, in a thicker part of the orchard, another lone soul was just waking from unconsciousness. This creature wasn’t a pony, but was similar in design.
It stood up on its legs and gave it’s tattered wings a flutter to test them. Finding nothing wrong with this part of its body, it moved on the the rest of itself. Its solid ice blue eyes scanned over it’s midnight black fur that gave way to the tough ebony hide that made up most of its upper insect-like body. Its back resembling the shiny shell of a beetle. This creature was none other than a changeling.
Only yesterday it had been in the capital city of Canterlot for an invasion, but then a blinding force of magical will and love had thrown this one to this secluded area in the orchard where it had stayed and recovered what little energy it could from feeding off of residual love from the town only a few miles away.
This particular changeling was one of the siege drones. The main attackers when invading a new area and thankfully because of that was gifted with a tougher body.
“I’m lucky I wasn’t born a simple worker or I could be a lot worse off,” the changeling muttered to herself. She tried to sense any others of her swarm, but when she tried to tap into the hive mind her kind shared, the only voice she heard was her own. She sighed and shook her head as she realized what had happened.
She’d been cut off, abandoned, and left for dead by the others. “I may be on my own, but I’ll be a parasprite before I just roll over and die,” she said, determination deep in her layered voice, she began walking in the direction of the source of the love she could feel in the distance. Little did she know, that this path would also lead to another that was alone. A little orange coated filly, still asleep and unaware of what was coming her way.
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As the changeling walked, she could feel another emotion coming from just ahead of her. All changelings could feel the emotions of others. This let them feed off of the positive emotions of their prey and avoid other creatures if they were hostile. The emotion she felt now could best be described as longing.
She’d felt this emotion before, but it had always been from one longing for a love they couldn’t have, so she’d assume the form of what had been wanted and feed off of that love. But this was.... different. It feels like a longing for another type of love. But what? the changeling thought as she went to investigate this familiar yet strange emotion.
Scootaloo groaned as she came out of her impromptu nap and stretched. After fully waking she sighed “Another dream huh? I wish it could be real.”
“Wish what could be real?”
Scootaloo jumped as she heard the oddly layered and feminine voice behind her. The little pegasus spun around and found the source of the question. Her amethyst eyes widened at what she saw. One of the changelings that had been at the wedding. Scootaloo remembered how she and her fellow crusaders had been chased by the insect like shape shifters. She also remembered how scared she’d been at seeing other ponies being put into those strange cocoons. All this added up in her mind and led to her cowering. Fearing she would be captured and used as food, she clenched her eyes in fear in front of the changeling.
The changeling rose a brow at the cowering filly before her taking a few steps closer.
“What do you wish was real little one?” she tried again in a softer voice. She could feel the fear coming from the little orange pegasus, but even under that, the longing she felt before remained. She still couldn’t place the emotion and was compelled to know what this filly wanted. She didn’t know why she had to know. She just did. And she was determined to find out. “I won’t hurt you. Just tell me what you were talking about.”
Scootaloo stopped cowering and looked into the face of her, as she saw it, captor. “Y-you won't?”
The changeling shook her head and tried to smile disarmingly at the filly. Her fangs glinting slightly “No, I only want to know what you were talking about before. What was it?”
Scootaloo stood and kept staring at the changeling in front of her. It, she, was smiling and even with the fangs, she looked like she meant what she said. Well s’not like she’s gonna tell anyone else about it. Scootaloo exhaled and looked at the ground as she began talking.
“I-I don’t have a family. I don’t even know who or where they are. I was in an or-orphanage, and no one tol-told me anything. I’m alone and I...I...” Scootaloo didn’t cry often but telling this to someone, anyone, seemed to open her flood gates. She tried to hold her tears back but it was a losing battle.
The changeling didn’t know what was going on. This little filly had just said she had no family and started crying. She’d never been in this position, but seeing this lonely, crying pegasus made her do something she’d never done. She moved forward, quickly covering the few feet left between her and the filly, and gathered her in her holed forelegs.
Scootaloo felt the changeling hug her and she desperately clung to the shapeshifter. She didn’t care that she was hugging a changling. Scootaloo was just thankful that she wasn’t alone. That someone was comforting her.
As the amethyst eyed filly clung to her and cried into the changelings chest, the shapeshifter felt the gratitude from the pegasus, and as odd as it seemed, to the changeling especially, it strengthened her. It was like when she fed on others, but instead of stealing the emotional power for herself, it was being given, and felt better than all the times she’d simply sapped the emotions from others.
At that moment the changeling had an idea. She needed to feed to live, and this little filly wished for someone to be a family with. She looked down at the filly, who’s crying had subdued to light sniffling, and spoke. “What’s your name?"
Scootaloo sniffed and looked up into the ice blue eyes of the changeling, “S-scootaloo.”
The changeling smiled “Well Scootaloo, I think I can help you with your problem if you want.”
Scootaloo wiped a foreleg across her eyes to clear the last of the tears and tilted her head,“You....can? How?”
The changeling sat Scootaloo down in front of her and began to explain, “You know I need to feed on emotions to live right?” The filly nodded. “And you know I can make myself look like anyone?” Another nod. “Well, if you promise to let me receive your emotions and not tell anyone about me, I’ll be your family.”
Scootaloo's eyes widened at that. A family? I can have a family? Even if it’s only me and her but... Scootaloo eyed the changeling, “You said I gotta let you have my emotions? How does that work?”
The changeling chuckled lightly, “Well you’ve already done it once. When I hugged you.”
Scootaloo rose a brow at that, “But I still don’t understand.”
Another light laugh, “Scootaloo,when I hugged you, you were happy. Happy to have someone here with you right?”
Scootaloo nodded “Yeah, so?”
“Well, that emotion was directed at me so I was able to feed on it without having to hurt anyone. See?”
Scootaloo closed her eyes in thought before speaking again “So.... I give you emotions and you’ll be like... my mom?”
The changeling nodded, “If that’s what you want, I will. Do we have a deal?”
Scootaloo smiled. She could get a mom and all she had to do was be happy about it? Sounded like a win win to the little orange pegasus. “Deal! But what’s your name and what’ll you look like when you change?”
Now that the deal was set, the changeling stood, and in a flash of electric green magic, she changed. Her coat went from ebony to a deep rose color. The fin like mane and short tail transformed into a flowing but windswept matching set, both a similar color as Scootaloo's. The wings that were insect-like became strong pegasus wings and on her flanks appeared a cutie mark that was a ring of storm clouds with a lightning bolt striking through it. The only thing that remained the same was her eye color. Now more pony-like instead of solid ice blue.
“Does this work, Scootaloo?”
The filly was amazed at what she saw. She knew that changelings could do this, but to see it was different. “Wow! That was cool! But what about a name?”
The changeling nodded, “Just tell everyone my name’s Lightning."
Scootaloo nodded and then looked at the ground sheepishly “And I..I can call you mom?”
The newly dubbed Lightning smiled and held open her forelegs “Of course, Scootaloo.”
The amethyst eyed filly smiled again and jumped into the welcoming embrace of her new mother. Things are finally looking up for me. Then she had a thought and looked up at Lighting “Um, not to be a downer mom, but.... where’re we gonna live?”
Lightning looked down at her, at the filly who was now her daughter. “Huh?”
Scootaloo laughed nervously and scratched the back of her neck “Well I’m kinda homeless. I mean we can't exactly live at an orphanage.” She smiled and Lightning could swear she saw a halo appear over the orange coated fillies head. She sighed and shook her head. It looked like she’d solved one problem only to run into another.
Lighting chuckled, Oh boy have I got work to do.
not bad it seems nice that theres a changeling story thats centered around a minor character but do changelings completely take emotions? or is it like a kind of parasite? or is it like the birds that eat the bugs off of a rhinoceros?
702422 nothing has been declared by hasbro or anyone working on mlpt, but i think its just when the changelings feel love they feed off of it, but the prey (pony being used as food from love and what-not) wont lose emotions.
This is really, really good for a first story. Dang! I wish my first story was this nice looking. I am a little confused, and I did spot a few grammatical and punctuation errors as well as formatting, but for a first fic, very nice work.
702474 i think ikind of like your perspective better. i dont like overly sad things
702474
Well like you said it's up in the air so I took a little artistic liberty.
My whole thing about it is it seems like if they feed of emotions it'd be like them being a parasite. Just my view. Anyway thanks for taking a look at this. I didn't think anyone'd be interested.
I liked it. A mix of common changeling and common Scootaloo stories into something new. I'll be tracking this to see where you go with it.
Btw caught a typo: "One of the changelings that had been at the weeding." Makes me think of Applejack trying to dig up weeds at the "garden party" during sweet and elite
Also I tend to think of changelings as symbiotic parasites. or at least potentially symbiotic parasites. They do much like what lightning is doing here, taking the place of lost/missing/absent loved ones (usually secretly) to feed of the love while filling the roll of their disguise.
Heavy is Tracking
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
tracked to see an awesome Scoot story
702538 i am EXTREMLY surprised that that name wasnt already taken. kudos to you pal. have a sandvich!
702528
Thanks for the typo thing. I'll fix that. Hmm I guess you're right about what lightning does and what the changelings normally do but meh to each his own.
Looks like a promising start with an interesting premise! Please continue.
702575 *Nom Nom Nom, Nom Nom.*
Good on you Kail. ^_^
702578 this is original
and it made me smile
a track for being original
and a thumb for making me smile
Awesome story idea. I love Scootalove stories, and one with a changeling is a nice change of pace.
As for the format of the story, I have a couple pointers.
1) Every time a new character is speaking, start a new paragraph. It can get really confusing trying to figure out who said what. This idea can also be used with thoughts as well, just to make things easier for the reader.
2) Try and keep the spacing between paragraphs consistent throughout the story. About half way through the story, you go from having a space in between each paragraph to having none. Try and keep it all the same. I suggest using the space between, but it is up to you how it goes.
3) After you finish writing the story, proof read it before you publish it. There were a couple easy to fix errors like "and" instead of "an" and "sings" instead of "wings." If you aren't good at doing that ( I personally am horrible at with my own stories) there is a group of proofreaders that you can ask to look over your story. They may also point out flaws plot wise i.e. pacing to quick, or someone out of character, or give advice at some points.
All in all, I can't wait to see how this story unfolds. Hope I could be a little helpful with the C&C.
702788
Thanks. I honestly didn't think I'd be any good at this. I hope I can keep it up.
Got a beta now so hopefully ya'll won't have to suffer my slaughter of grammar.
Thanks TsunamiWhooves for the help!
You're very welcome Kail. It was my pleasure to read such a nice fanfic.
I truck out?! enough puns... I liked it, thats what it counts!
more master i need it
Aight, I loved the story as I tend to love Scootaloo stories. Now all I need is an episode based on Scoots and I will be complete.
i actually shed a tear for poor scoot she's one of my favorite characters
(it's sad when grievous cries) good fic fav and watching for more
When you think about it, it would make sense that a pony wouldn't be drained of their emotions when a changeling feeds on them. After all, if you look back at the hearths warming eve story, the windigos feed of hate, but the ponies were not drained of this emotion.
love the idea
Hm.... I recently posted a comment (under Fun with Changelings) about having an idea for a story that involved Scootaloo adopting a changeling as a pet.
Did you--how shall I put this--borrow my idea? I don't mind--I don't think I was going through with writing it myself anyway. I'm just curious.
When you think about it, it would make sense that a pony wouldn't be drained of their emotions when a changeling feeds on them. After all, if you look back at the hearths warming eve story, the windigos feed of hate, but the ponies were not drained of this emotion.
703311
I did. After I read your comment I thought to myself what if I took this a bit further and this was born. I originally was gonna do a one or two shot but now I'm gonna run with this and see where it goes. I hop you'll stick around for it.
703415
I thought windigos only got stronger in the presence of hate.
703436
They do, which is my point. wingdigos grow stronger in the presence of hate just like changelings grow stronger in the presence of love. The ponies in the story of Hearths Warming eve never stopped hating so it only makes sense that in the presence of a changeling, you wouldn't stop loving.
703559
But then why was Chrysalis searching for a place for her changelings to feed? if she could have looked anywhere and not have completely drained the love why not stay there? It seemed to me like the changelings would find an area, drain it of love, then move on to a new love filled area.
705683
She probably could have, but the problem was that she didn't want food, she wanted power. She was egotistical and arrogant, thus leading to her to thinking she could take over the WHOLE of equestria in one fell swoop.
I can see that I think. How bout we say we're both right and chalk it up to creative liberty on my part for how I made changelings work in my fic.
Best idea I've heard all day! :)
Regardless of what rules you follow, this is a cute concept for a fic, and I shall wait for more in the future.
702474 My personal opinion is that they don't weaken the target when they eat emotions in normal circumstances, but they have a defensive/offensive tactic to drain enemies of both strength and emotion, but I'm fine with all the other theories too.
I'm liking this so far! The writing is far superior to a few other fics I've read, so I can focus more on the tale, and less on mentally glossing over errors XD
I hope I enjoy the next couple o' chapters as much =3
705683
I think it's that they were running low on food and the Queen wanted to increase her arcane energy with a huge dose of passion. When love is drained out of someone, that doesn't mean that creature is unable to love forever. It would probably regenerate overtime. Direct draining would also probably cause a huge headache and a decrease in energy.
Of course, nopony would like the idea of being a "Changeling service station," constantly being tired and drained.
Basically, they'd turn Canterlot into a feeding ground for Changelings, the Queen would gain even more arcane ability through the surplus of love, and Equestrian would be under their control while Princess Celestia was trapped in that cocoon.
That's just my two cents.
hmmmm i wonder how you got the halo idea hmmmmmmm
"Even if it’s only me and her but..."
I completely read that as:
"Even is it's only me and her butt."
Really rushed, but a great idea. You might want to go into the changeling's head a bit more, not have her just blindly make an offer. Also, she lost connection to the swarm, and she was just fine with that, you might want to have her freak out a little bit at that before she calms down.
All in all, great concept, but the delivery could use some work.
The part where Lightning spontaneously offered to be Scootaloo's mom felt a little rushed, but all in all, a good story. I look forward to reading the rest
Well, so far this is looking all right. I'm not really an MLP: FiM fan but I do like this fanfic so far.
702538 Heavy is tracking?! Magical Trevor had better follow suit then! *Eats a sandvich*
Well in case you care for feedback, I kind of enjoyed this chapter, but to me it seemed a bit too much like Scootaloo fessed up way too early. I mean, I understand it's your story and you can do whatever you want, but I'm simply suggesting that when a character has emotional stress or trauma around a certain subject (such as Scootaloo with the orphanage), they tend not to be willing to talk about it, It just made the entire chapter seem off, as though it as progressing too quickly. Otherwise, great work.
I believe that I speak for 90% of the brony population when i say that Changelings have chitin shells, instead of fur like ponies, considering that they are exact polar opposites in almost every way. Saying that Changelings have fur, instead of chitin is actually one of my pet-peeves. Hopefully the rest of the story divulges into chitin instead of fur...
2672772 I agree that the changelings do have a chitinous shell. However, from what I can see, the shell gives way to to a type of fine fur on the lower part of the changelings body. It's my understanding that the chitin covers the back, breast, and half of the barrel on a changelings body. The lower extremities, excluding the legs, are a durable hide covered in fine fur because, and this is only my belief, the changelings are a type of pony species that changed at some point. Since an official history is not given for the changelings I took some liberties with how I wrote them in my fic. And given that the changelings resemble ponies in body shape and size I didn't think it was to much of a stretch for them to have a type of fur on some parts of their body.
A-Freaking-dorable. For a first fic it's good.
2673860 that's a much more in depth view on a changeling than I expected anyone to give but you do make a good point.
Also nice job with the story so far, although I've only made it a chapter in I think I may like this
Only one chapter in and I'm faving and giving it a thumbs up. I will be sad when I reach the end and have no more to read. Ah well, such is the fate of all stories. Onwards!
I'll be sad when they finally reveal Scootaloo's origins, whether it's just her parents not ever having a reason to show up in the show (as stated by Faust) or an orphan or whatever, because we'll stop getting stories like these. Neat beginning, anyways. Theirs will be a mutually beneficial relationship, so the Changeling lucked out in revealing her true form early on lest the truth come out later to Scootaloo.