What happens when a military Brony suddenly dies and wakes up in Equestria? Follow the adventures of Steven! Your average military Brony who dies and gets a chance at a new life in Equestria.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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No. Just no.
*reads last part and dirty thought comes up*oh hell no
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also
Why does everyone think just because its your first story means you have a silver bullet into pantie town?
Oh no.
OH NO! Please God no!
I'll be gentle as a bee that stung your ass. Seriously don't ever put this in here. You're just asking for trouble.
And it's quite hard for me to care right now. What kind of intro sentence is that? You need to grab your audience right away, and you by all chances just sucked any life out of the story by that one sentence.
Oh go cry me a river special snowflake #3425. You're just as bland as the rest.
I got that you're character was a brony in the description. And while I'm a brony, there's more to life than just ponies (hell MLP is probably like one percent of my life at best). I think there are doctors for how obsessed you are with ponies.
And still not caring. You've given us nothing to indicate that we should care about your character besides some special snowflake story. Yawn I've seen it all by now.
Some parents you have there giving in when you don't get any thing you want. Again, how am I supposed to like this character? He is our protagonist right? You know, the character that we're supposed to be cheering for.
That's about as far as I got before I stopped. This is just your typical self-insert fantasy wish (and minus points for it being Fluttershy). Move along people. Just move along.
6578342 You didn't even get to the r63 yet... or my Fedora's.... Do you know how hard it is to be able to write such genius, it's... it's nearly impossible to come up with but I do it for you! Yes you plebs out there, I do it to cater for you and I don't even charge cookies! ! !! ! !
6578362 Yep. Confirmed troll.
6578366 Confirmed mother douchebag.
is good story, as person who pretends to be in the military I can say this is 98% accurate.
6578374 Now this guy here is a ledge, he knows what I'm saying.
Oh hey. Haven't seen THIS cover image in a while.
Drugs are bad, mmmkay?
Eh. Author could try a bit harder, his grammar is too good for this kind of troll thing. Not enough use of the word "faggot" in the comments.
7.8/10 not enough salt
6579259 *sprinkle sprinkle*
If you went to a popular nightclub, wouldn't you at least want to dress appropriately?
So, you're suggesting that everyone, literally everyone is going to stop what they're doing to look at one person?
"They all float down here!"
But seriously, that is not Pinkie Pie, unless she had brain damage of some kind.
Wow, that is a unique way to pervert the My Little Pony franchise.
This is stupid. In every sense of the word, this is stupid. I hate your main character. I know he has zero traits aside from being a self-insert, but I hate him. Your story does nothing to differ from the millions that are bad for all the same reasons.
Obvious trollfic. 3.5/10
6579618 But come on the Fedoras were good right?
6579932 If we're putting effort into it it cannot be a trollfic. So stop being a nagging nark and upvote us.
6580146 I didn't leave a rating before. I will now. You get a thumbs down for having an unoriginal fic (self-insert).
6580283 If this was a self insert we must be proper mother douchebags (hint) we are xx
6580295 Evidenced by the dislike ratios and comments. Any other brilliant observations?
6580308
Jet fuel can't melt steel beams. #BUSHDID911
6580316 Go back to 4chan, you beta.
6580338 You're nothing but a jumped up panty boy who doesn't know his place... now please return the rings... if that's alright with you.
6580345 "Jumped up panty boy"? Really? Do your parents know that you're on the internet? Get back to your schoolwork summerlord. The internet's for adults.
6580365 Learn your Smiths you uncultured pleb, I will eat you and your freakin' cereal! Swear on me mum fam, 1v1 one chu wan' some!? I'll give it ya!! Bully BEEF
6580374 Settle down before you give yourself a seizure, spaz. Your story sucks, your writing sucks, and your "trolling" is on par with a twelve year old playing COD online. Keep failing though. You definitely got that on lock.
6580393 You bore me, I guess you just don't understand art. I'm done with your pathetic little attacks, you are like a depressed trojan horse. Praise Jesus, no homo expect all the homo.
6581268 So you're saying you want a rape scene with Big Mac and all the three Crusaders (feat Pip)......... Yeah ok we don't really do that but if you make a formal request we will be able to process it and pass it on to the management.
6580507 Calling your pathetic mess of a story is like calling dig shit on a sidewalk culture. The presence of this fic and your amateur trolling shames fimfiction, competent trolls, and the groups you've been added to.
6581506 I like you, we should date
6581510 You're right Brah... I've seen like the errors in my ways... Like I'm totally out of my league brah.... you helped me realise that brah.... I mean brah I love you brah and we should like be total buddies brah, like best buddies
Brah
6583552 :(
6681233 ... Magic
6730010
Like when he read Hope? Interesting, could make this fimfiction somewhat readable.
Please, please quit writing...
6739460
Art.
7129012 What you've just read, is a masterpiece, no doubt about it. Shakespeare would be crying in his grave, tears of joy flowing freely.
*reads chapter*
NOPE I was willing to give this story a chance but after that yea no cya
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7131028
Somebody sounds like an egotist. Plots that go nowhere, characters glicthing in and out more that DOki Doki literature CLub, then calling it art. The sun is the only bigger thing than your ego
Queeeee?