• Published 21st Sep 2015
  • 11,491 Views, 227 Comments

A New Wheel - Northern Desert

You know the drill. Some poor sap manages to buy something from a creepy salesman and is sent to Equus. Now our stranded and weary dimension hopper has to survive war, politics, and others who've managed to get in the same mess as him.

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Chapter 3 - Learning some history and becoming the best lawyer

Well, no one explained anything to me. They just cheered and swept me away towards the palace, holding their own mini parade. While I was taken to god knows where I saw the guards restrained by some of the citizens and other guards. Okay, what the fuck have I done?

It didn’t take long before we reached what seemed to be a palace. They swung the doors open and squeezed me inside, with my protests of course, and I was lowered from the wave of hooves. I shook my head to regain my senses. Looking up I saw what seemed to be female unicorn with a red coat and black mane.

She gave the crowd a bewildered look, her mane looked like she had just woken up and a coffee cup floated in front of her. “What the heck are you all doing,” she said in shock. “If Coal Patch catches you with this...this thing he will--”

“Coal Patch is gone,” a member of the crowd cried with joy. “This creature saved our friends and liberated us!” the crowd rejoiced once again.

“Wha---what!?!” she questioned, dropping her coffee mug. She immediately turned towards me. “You...you killed him?” she asked skeptically.

“I have no idea,” I cried. “One minute I was falling, the next minute I’m being whisked away by a group of colorful ponies!” Not gonna lie, I was starting to freak out. Okay, I just killed a king, by the sound of the inhabitants that was a good thing, and now I’m being praised as some kind of hero.

What the hell is going on? I’ve gotta be on some kind of drug or sleeping, because this is some weird crap. “Okay, look,” she said to the crowd of ponies. “Why don’t the rest of you go on home or plan some kind of party while I explain to what’s happening to--”

“--Philip,” I said.

“--while I explain what’s happening to Philip.” she finished. The ponies cheered once more before taking off, leaving me alone with the unicorn. “Oh, what a mess today,” she muttered as the enthusiastic crowd exited the building. “Okay, follow me, your majesty.”

“Um, your majesty?” I repeated in confusion. She nodded and motioned me with her hoof to follow her. I followed the mare for a while as we passed the rooms of the palace. Getting use to walking with these bird legs was a little strange, but I managed to not fall on my ass.

We got to what seemed to be some kind of office. She opened the door and let me in first. I looked around, seeing a comfy office. It had a normal wooden desk with some cabinets, book shelves against one of the walls, and a fireplace near a comfy sofa and table.

The mare trotted over to a coffee machine and made another mug for herself. After she made more coffee for herself, and a mug for me, she sat down on the large sofa. “Sit down,” she said and patted a spot next to her with her hoof.

“Um, okay…” I said hesitantly. I sat down, my sheer fluffiness engulfed my side of the couch. “Look, about this whole ‘killing your king’ thing--”

“--He was an ass who deserved everything coming to him,” she said bluntly. “While it shows that you clearly didn’t intend to kill him, you’ve still done us a great favor.”

“Oh,” I said in surprise, taking a sip of my coffee. “Well, I’m happy I could help. But I’m not from around here….so if you guys could just help me get home I would appreciate it.”

“Where do you live?” she asked.

“America, but if you can point me to San Diego that would be great---” I saw her give me a confused look. I sighed, well it was worth a try. “You have no idea where America is, do you?”

“Um, not really,” she said apologetically. “I’ve never heard of the place.”

“Yeah,” I huffed. “Well it looks like I’m stuck here…” I looked down at my mug. Where ever I was, it wasn’t Kansas. From what I’ve seen and what I am, I’d bet my money on a different reality or universe. Not gonna lie, I was tearing up.

“Hey, you okay?” she asked, her voice clearing my thoughts.

“Yeah,” I sniffed. Her eyes went wide as she saw my eyes mostien.

“Are--are you crying?” she asked in shock.

“No!” I snapped. She raised an eyebrow and gave me an O’really look.

“You wanna talk about it?” she asked. I gave her a suspicious look but took her offer and told her what was bothering me. This resulted in me turning into a blubbering mess with my head on her lap as I cried my problems away. What, you think you would be different? Here, let me send you through a dimensional rift where everything you have changes and the chances of getting back to your loved one ranges around 7%.

Yeah, I though not….

Anyway, she stroked my neck as I rambled on about my problems. “An--and who will feed my guinea pigs!” I stuttered. Yeah, this went on for a while.

I’m impressed the unicorn actually listened to me, let alone cared. “You feel better now?” she asked sympathetically.

My fur was matted with tears and my breathing was choked, but I managed to nodded my head in a yes. “Mmhmmm,” I sniffed. I raised my head and situated my body next to her. “Thanks,” I said in embarrassment. “I know my issues aren’t really your problem…but I have a feeling I’m not here for a therapy session.”

She let out an exasperated sigh. “Yes,” she said. “Well, as you may not know, I’m the royal advisor to the king. While Coal Patch was an idiot, he was still king. With him dead, and the issues we already face because of him, I have a favor to ask you.”

“Uh huh,” I said. “Well, what is this favor?” I asked, though I already had a feeling on what it was from the crowd of ponies declarations.

“We need a leader, a real leader,” she said. “For too long we’ve been the stomping ground for the other island kingdoms.” her face turned into a scowl. “And with you, a strange new creature, showing up and usurping our previous king, we need even more help.”

“My help,” I affirmed. “Look, Ms. umm---”

“--Parcel Dove,” she answered. “that’s my name.”

“Okay, Parcel Dove,” I continued. “I’m not a leader, and you’re asking me to fill up the hole your Nero dug.” She nodded solemnly.

“I know, it’s a lot to ask,” she said. No, begged. “But our economy is a wreck, the natives, Drakes, are at war with us, and we have the other kingdoms just waiting to take over!”

I was silent for a while, pondering what she was saying. She gave me big pleading eyes. It was hard, I’d be sticking my head out the window and screaming ‘Come at me’ to the world. But, I could do something. Something good.

“Alright,” I said confidently. “Though, if I’m gonna be king, I’ll need my advisor.”

She let out a squee and hugged me. “Thank you!” she cried in joy. I looked at her in shock.

Damnit, these ponies are getting to me……

I had a couple of issues on my agenda that Dove and I would need to address. One of them was the zero knowledge I had of this island, let alone this world.

So, Parcel Dove broke it down for me. The first was the other civilizations and their species. And my god there are a shit to of species!

First was Equestria, the land of ponies and one of the most magical of any species. Equestria was currently ruled by, and for a long time, 4 alicorn princesses. Now, these alicorns were by far the strongest, and most magical, of the pony species; consisting of all three pony races. The three pony races are the Unicorns, Pegasi, and Earth ponies. The Pegasi can manipulate the weather, Earth ponies magic is connected to the earth, and the Unicorns can concentrate their magic with their horns to perform spells and other magical feats.

I didn’t have much trust for them. They kingdom I now rule use to belong to them, so I had a feeling they might want it back…….

Next was the Griffon Empire, one of the closer neighbors of Ashen Veil. The Griffons are ruled through houses, each house represents a certain type of griffon. Griffons are different from the mix of bird and cat they are. While there are many different types of Griffons, the ruling class is a mixture of hawk and panther know as the House of The Nighthawk.

Another major civilization is the Scorpion Kingdom. It contains two species known as Centaurs and Gargoyles. The Gargoyles were skilled craftsman and the centaurs were unprecedented when it came to manipulating the very fabric of magic. It was smaller than many of the other major world powers, but the empire has existed longer than Equestria.

One of the most...diverse civilizations would be the The Republic of Zecornia. It consisted of different tribes that dwell on something similar to the African plains. Now, are you ready to get hit by the boatload of inhabitants: Zebras, freakin Elephants, Rhinos, some swagger Ostriches. They have a democracy that consisted of representatives of each one of the races. They also were at war with Hyenas because of some kind of dispute no one could remember.

Dear God, it sounded like Lion King minus the ‘lions are master race bullshit’.

Changelings, the mere name caused Parcel Dove to shudder. The Changeling Empire is ruled by an Empress who chosen amongst the changeling hives for being worthy. To be worthy one’s hive must have the most love, which is a food source of the Changelings. From the details given to me, the changelings could be a great friend or foe. They have the ability to not only change shape of any body part, but said part becomes real; such as a griffon’s claw.

The Changelings were well known once and were a great friend to many nations but after the coronation of the latest Empress, around 300 years ago, the changelings disappeared. Their last location that is known was somewhere in the plain of Zecornia.

“So, we have no idea where the greatest natural spies are located?” I asked in concern. She shook her head to confirm my fears.

“I’m afraid so,” she answered, pointing with her hoof towards a castle attached to a mountain on the map. “But we have info that Queen Chrysalis invaded Canterlot, but was eventually defeated.”

Another thing that had me worry was Equestria. Besides the interest they would have in my kingdom, they were also a breeding ground for super villains. I pity Celestia, she’s gotta constantly deal with enemies of great power.

“Okay,” I said. “we’ll have to see what information we can get on Chrysalis, I rather not find out Bugzy is plotting to pull the rug from under me until it’s too late.”

The Diamond Dog’s had a small kingdom in Canineda, north of Equestria. The Diamond Dogs there more sophisticated than their cousins in Equestria. They’re the manufacturing country in the world and have a heavy industry in mining. Out of all the races, they would seem the most open to negotiations with us.

“We can set up a meeting with King Mudclaw,” I noted. “If we can get into diplomatic relations with them we might be able to bring our economy back and running. Dove, see if we can arrange something.” She nodded her head and wrote it down on a notepad.

We only had three more left to jot down. I told you this was a freaking dosey. Anyways, the next on the list is the Minotaurian Kingdom. They were known for their brute strength and determination. They were also known for their wealth after years of constant plundering. All I’m gonna say is that I wouldn’t trust them with shit, cause they’d take it and then break everything around it.

And last would be the Dragons. After years of being a world power, they ruled with harmony and peace. I know, it sounds nothing like dragons. A great problem arised when Princess Celestia and Luna’s parents, Crescent and Solaris, had reports of dragons attacking nearby towns. Instead of finding out the issue they decided to create an alliance with many other races, called the Alliance of Harmony, telling them the horrors the Draconic Empire had imposed on the poor little ponies.

What was really going on was that King Brimstone had recently broken a cult centered around the Red Dragons. The cult, known as the Red Bloods, believed that all other dragons and races were inferior to the Red Dragons. It is said the King Brimstone fought a hundred of the cult members on his own, driving the survivors out.

Guess where the survivors went. Ding ding ding! If you guessed Equestria than you are correct! So these draconic douchebags attacked the ponies, who, in return, blamed the other dragons. After the alliance invaded the dragon kingdom, they crumbled everything the pure civilization once stood for.

Once the alliance discovered the truth, it was too late. Even now the Princesses try in anyway they can to help the stubborn and now greedy dragons.

Unfortunately, information of any other civilization was lost long ago. Only Celestia or Luna would remember them. Maybe I should meet the two and get some more information.

I stared off into space, processing the information I had gained. A couple of ideas came to my head that I would implement later. There was one more thing I needed to be clear though. “What about Ashen Veil after the destruction of the capital?” I asked Parcel Dove.

She let out a sad sigh before replying. “It became a power grab,” she said. “Some of Ashen Wing’s children took over, but others fell to outsiders,” I wave my wing at her.

“Tell me….” I said. I knew this was hard for any of them, history hurt.

After Ashen Wing died the 8 remaining islands split from each other, forming small independant cities. 3 where taken by pirates that now circled the ocean around us, forming an oligarchy of the strongest pirate captains. They called their new kingdom Wyrm’s Tooth. 4 other kingdoms were taken, counting Ashen Claw, by the remaining children of the old king.

In Thunder’s Peak, one of the 4 islands, one of Ashen Wing’s sons, Spirit Trip, became a philosophical pony. He believe in the improvement of his city by creating a more equal and democratic government.

After several years in office, he resigned and handed to torch to the people to choose the next leader. Now named the Ashen Republic, they focus on diplomatic relations and trade with the other nations.

Another, by the name of Sharpened Axe, was able to take the island called Kraken’s Isle. They set up a strong and prominent city that leads as a military power. After a couple of kings, they crowned Shield Breaker as their new king. Kraken’ Isle are the ones who were supplying Coal Patch with weapons. All he had to do was to offer tribute to aid the war between Kraken’s Isle and the Pirates of Wyrm’s Tooth.

Lunar Island formed around to preserve the teachings of Princess Luna and to keep record of Luna’s true history secret until her return. They became a religious group and were ecstatic once Luna returned. It only took a while before they became a vassal of Equestria.

“And now onto Ashen Claw,” I pleaded. A man can only take so much knowledge at a time. She nodded and began the tale of my new home. Turns out Coal Patch’s ancestors slowly rotted into the bag of shit that became our craptastic king.

The first ruler after the collapse was named Blackened Fur. Once his father died, Ashen Wing, Blackened Fur was quick to remove any challengers to his throne and take his own little kingdom in Ashen Claw. He ruled for a couple of years but eventually was killed by the natives that already dwelled on the island.

“Natives?” you say. Yes, natives….

All of the islands had native inhabitants that resembled lizard like creatures, Drakonians. Of course, Celestia being the kind motherly figure she is, forbade the colonists from fighting the native tribes or taking their homes. That was all and good, before Blackened Fur got into a heated argument with the chieftain of one the Drakonian tribes, Chief Bulkwater of the Red Spear. This argument lead to the stubborn king having a spear inserted into his skull.

Now you would think that his son, guy by the name of Gleaming Sword, might have learned the error of his father’s ways and not piss off the natives, right?


The moron not only declared war on the tribe, but managed to bungle up the invasion of the Read Spear tribe by getting his troops lost in that freaking forest. Poor sap. By the time they got out, they lost over 70% of their forces.

Lesson learned, right? Wrong again!

This dumbass is now left to defend what he can but even then homes are plundered and farms are raised by angry lizard-men. Instead of pushing for peace and helping out his people he just raises another army with forced conscriptions. But here’s the bright side; before he could begin his next invasion of the tropic jungle he was unfortunate enough to order an exotic meal of pufferfish.

You can guess how that went.

Luckily the idiot managed to do one good thing in his short, five years to be precise, reign as king. He died and left the kingdom in the hands of his daughter, Ivory Tuft.

Unlike her warmongering father and moronic grandfather, she managed to get real shit done. The farms and homes that were pillaged by angry Drakonian were rebuilt. And the Red Spear was dealt with in a civic manner, she even convinced them to join their city, more labor and more soldiers. All and all, she managed to keep things afloat for awhile.

But good things don’t last forever, and Ivory Tufts died during a embassy trip to the Griffon Kingdom. Some called foul play, but the ship and all onboard it were never found. Her brother, Coal Patch, was the only one who had legitimacy to take the throne and when he did he allied with Kraken’s Isle and banished the natives, starting war with them once again.

Ding, ding, ding! Bullshit detected!

Okay, I can actually use this to my advantage. I looked at the clock to see the time, it seemed we spent the entire afternoon talking. Time to deal with my second agenda. The retrial of the six assassins.

Yes, they were trying to help their country by killing the weed. But the law was the law, and if I were to ignore it I would be as bad as Coal Patch. But with the new information I had just required, I might be able to save their lives.

“Okay,” I said, getting off the sofa. “Parcel Dove, I need you to get the court ready.” I began to walk away and opened the door. “I’ll meet you there, I need to run somewhere.

“Um, okay,” she said in surprise. “But why don’t you fly?”

“Fly?” I repeated.

“Yeah,” she said in confusion. “The way your body is shaped it looks like you could fly. I closed my eyes and thought back to my old Pokemon days. Ah, that’s right! I remember what this Pokemon was since Helen was always an enthusiasts of the franchise.

And since she was dating my brother and one of my best friends she managed to drag me into it during X and Y. I mumbled to myself as I went through a mental list of my moves.

Ohhhhh this is going to be more fun than I thought. Now that I think of it, I think Yveltal is like the Embodiment of Death or something. I activated my life absorption powers, the wooden floor slowly started to wither away and Parcel Dove began to wobble.

Not good!

I stopped my power, feeling rejuvenated. “Are you okay?” I asked Parcel Dove with worry.

“Y--yeah... what was that anyway?” she asked in confusion, still tipping over a little bit. “I felt powerless and….I felt like I was being drained.”

“Sorry, that was me,” I apologized. “I’m not quite use to my power yet….”

“Just don’t do that again….it felt weird.” she said, giving me a punch in the shoulder as we walked out of the room.

“No promises,” I snickered.

(Ashen Claw Stadium)

The stadium wasn’t the greatest of locations, but it was large enough to house a large number of ponies and myself. That and I made the choice to have laws debated here, this way others could see the debates know the ins and outs of our kingdom.

Judge Fair Gavel sat on the highest platform with a desk in front of him. The only one close to the judge was Parcel Dove and myself since I was the king and she was my advisor. The prosecutor and defenses desks sat opposite of eachother. The crowd would be able to view the entire presiding on the bleachers of the stadium.

“I, Judge Fair Gavel, will now announce the retrial of the six accused,” The judge said. “Will the prosecution now read the crimes that the defendants are accused of.” many of the ponies were hoping that the six ponies might go free, or at least get a lighter punishment. But laws were laws and even the king would have to follow them, unless he be a tyrant.

“The crimes still stand,” the prosecutor said. “Unless the king wishes object?” even he looked at me hopefully. I stood up in a regal position.

“Even though it pains me to see these six brave stallions and mares on trial,” I said, bring my gaze towards the six defendants. “We cannot ignore the law the states murder and treason against the crown be a crime. If I were to do this, I would become the very tyrant that came before me.” with that I sat down.

Many gave me sad, yet respected looks. I saw the reaction of the six ponies, instead of hate I saw admiration. The prosecutor then solemnly read the charges brought against the six ponies.

“The defense, as before, cannot deny these crimes,” The Defense attorney said. “But as stated by my clients before, they do not regret their actions.” They six nodded in agreement and stood proud and firm.

“Are there any objections?” The judge asked.

“I do, your honor,” I declared. The entire crowd, judge, defense, prosecution, and Parcel Dove gave shot me surprised looks. “One of the crimes listed is treason, is that not true?” I asked turning my gaze to the prosecutor.

“Yes your majesty,” he answered the strange question. “you would be correct.”

“If I remember correctly,” I mused. “You can only be king if you are a citizen, correct?” he nodded in agreement.

“What are you getting at, your highness?” Fair Gavel asked. I chuckled at him, a mischievous grin forming on my face. “I’m afraid if you are planning to take Coal Patch’s citizenship, I must inform you that to do so is to break one of our most sacred laws!” the judge said with worry, did they really get a better leader?

“No,” I laughed with glee. “If I were to do that then I would be no better than the tyrant I replaced. But if I am not mistaken, I can remove citizenship if evidence proves one guilty of murder.”

“What murder?” Fair Gavel questioned. “While Coal Patch had committed many cruel acts, he never murdered anyone.”

“After learning of your history, I found one thing fishy that was never resolved,” I mused. “The death of Queen Ivory Tuft,” the crowd gaped at the mention of their good queen. “After finding evidence in Coal Patch’s own office, I’ve found significant evidence linking the death of Ivory Tuft to Coal Patch and King Shield Break of Kraken’s Isle.”

The crowd burst into chatter. Fair Gavel slammed his gavel down many times to regain order in the stadium. After all the ponies had calmed down the judge turned to me with a smile. “Then, by the authority I posses, I revoke the citizenship of Coal Patch, thus dismissing the treason charge!”

Many cheered with joy, ready to parade the six defendants away. Once again the judge banged his gavel to stop the commotion. “While the treason charge is no longer on the table, plotting murder is still consider to be against even outsiders!” The crown was silent, realizing that the six heroes were still on the chopping block.

I then turned towards the prosecution. “Is it not true that as king, I am allowed to choose the punishment of those found guilty?” I asked.

“Yes, your majesty!” the prosecutor replied. “While death is one of the penalties, as king you can give leniency and assign a different punishment.” the eyes of the crowd bore into me, waiting for my decision.

I got up from my chair and walked down the steps towards the defense. I reached the table and meet 14 eyes of the attorney and his clients. “Tell me,” I urged the six thestrals. “If I were to pose the same threat to you as my predecessor would you not hesitate to strike me down, even if I showed you leniency?”

The question shocked many, but they hoped their friends would make the right choice. I was Hardened Steel who spoke, “I would not hesitate for a second to stop you,” he replied sternly. “For if an honorable creature such as yourself should fall to corruption, then I would preserve only the memory of the good you had done.”

This response elected audible gasps from the crowd. “Do your compatriots follow the same ideals?” I questioned with a scowl.

“Yes,” they all said in agreement.

The ponies waited for me to strike at them. To smite those who disrespected me and threatened me. I stared at them with a fake scowl before bursting into laughter. All eyes widened while I continued to laugh. “Then I see only one way this can go,” I chuckled, some might think I was about to go Palpatine and kill them in glee. “For your punishment, I assign you to work in public office!”

Many sweatdropped at my proclamation. “Wha--what!?!” every shouted.

“That’s right,” I smirked. “You will be forced to not only deal with the mountains of paperwork, but also the stress of dealing with yours truly!” I strutted back up to my seat and plopped down on the throne. “I think that adjourns this court, but I would ask you all to stay for the trial of the previous captain of the guard!”

The crowd once again went silent. My six new political officers would meet me later about their new job. For now, I had Captain Thorn Brush to deal with. I had read over the reports of him and his guards and saw the issues they presented. For one, Thorn Brush himself had no real power over his own guard, adding to that he was completely clean of any corruption.

So what do I do with him? I could take his position away, but I know for a fact he can lead the guards back to their former glory. Keeping him was a must, but I still need to give him a warning. Obeying your king is not a crime, so I wasn’t about to punish him.

What guards were honest and I deemed worthy to stay in service had restrained their comrades during their king’s untimely death. They brought the former captain before me, the crowd having unsure feelings.

“Captain Thorn Brush,” I said kindly. “It seems I have reached a dilemma.” he gave me a bewildered look, unsure of what was to become of him. “Obeying your king is not a crime, whether or not you enjoyed what you did is unknown. So I want you to help me with something.”

“How can I be of service?” He asked in shock. Maybe he was waiting for me to strike him when he least expected it.

“I want to believe you are fit for your command of the guard,” I said, leaning my head toward him. “Can I trust you?”

“Yes,” he said with conviction. “I serve my king, no matter who he be. My actions were only those asked by our former king.” he bowed before me, his wings touching the ground.

I nodded in agreement. “Here’s a new rule for you,” I chuckled. “only follow orders that abide to the laws of this kingdom, not the rule of the king. If I do any stupid shit, you have permission to slap some sense into me.” The crowd stared at me, completely dumbfounded.

“But I warn you, Thorn Brush,” I said, my mood becoming more dark. I felt the crowd shiver as the air around us turned cold, my body setting of red-purplish glow. “If I am to learn of you abusing your power, their will be no second chance! Do I make myself clear?” Pure malice poured from my voice.

“Y--yes my lord!” he stuttered in fear. Many ponies made a sigh of relief as my menacing aura dissipated.

“Good,” I smiled as if nothing had happened. I shot looks over to certain ponies in the crowd, those who might have had thoughts of taking my crown. Emphasis on the word “had”. “I think that takes care of all--”

“HELP!” a voice shouted. All of us turned to see an Earth pony galloping towards us. He panted for air, collapsing to the ground. “T--he Dr--ak--onia--ns are at it again, this time at Pumpkin Patch!”

“Guards,” I ordered, shooting up from my seat. “Come with me, we’re going to Pumpkin Patch!” The guards saluted and Captain Thorn Brush took off with his new guards.

“What are you going to do?” Parcel Dove asked, giving me a worried look.

I opened my wings and prepared to take off. “To deal with agenda three…” I flew off towards my destination.

“Pumpkin Patch is the other way!” she shouted.

I sweatdropped and a blush came to my muzzle. “Right, I knew that!” changing my direction towards Pumkin Patch. “Okay asshats,” I said to myself. “Time to learn not to fuck with my subjects!”

Author's Note:

*Finishes typing* It's done! Yeah, I had some issues with this chapter. I had a change of heart on how I'm going to write. I chose that all of you deserve longer, and better, chapters. I want to improve myself, so I scraped my first shot at chapter 3, remaking it. Then the document I made it on got deleted.....so I wrote it again!

I want to thank all of you for the support you've given me. When I saw 60 likes, the favs, and more followers I was shocked. Yes there are also 14 dislikes, but I hope if you have any issues that you would tell me so that I could improve my writing!

I also want to give you guys a better look at what Philip looks like, so here is some more are from SoftMonKeychains! I know SoftMonKeychains' Yveltal is a girl, but Philip is a guy so yeah. This art is just so FLUFFY! That and I couldn't find any work that was so impressive as hers for Yveltal.

Here's a map based off the Cutie Map!