Pumpkin Slice Tea
My centaur-like puppet raced across the forest floor, weaving between the trees. Having just finished speaking with Zecora through Lycan, I’d sent Taur back towards Ponyville. I needed to find Discord, and I had a clue as to how to find him: Fluttershy. The mare herself mentioned that she was friends with Discord, and so she was my best chance of tracking down the chaotic chimera.
Emerging at the southern edge of the village, Taur almost immediately caught her scent — a mix of pony, animal feces, Discord, and flowers, all occurring together. There weren’t many pony smells this close to the edge of the Everfree, and Fluttershy’s distinct smell was unusually strong in comparison to the others. After a little sniffing around, I knew which direction she came from more often, so I set off that way.
One short, easy walk later and Taur was standing in sight of a cottage with a living grass roof. Unlike the princess’s home, none of the plants here were screaming, and a plethora of happy animal noises filled the air.
Actually, it was a bit too cheerful — prey were usually much quieter in the presence of a predator, and I smelled several. And now that I think about it, having so many predators so close together also felt weird. The whole scene before me gave off a distinctly artificial, house-of-cards vibe. If Fluttershy left — and I assumed that she was responsible — then this whole mini-ecosystem would collapse back into a natural state.
Taur strolled across the little bridge, and a silence fell upon the critters that I could sense. They knew I was here, and that I was an unknown predator. Animals were rather smart when they thought that their lives were on the line.
But I commanded Taur to ignore the animals and move straight towards the door. With a quick movement, wooden knuckles rapped on the wooden door.
“Coming!” was the faint reply.
Fluttershy opened the door, only to squeak and jump back in fright when she saw my Taur and his imposing size. I remained neutral and unthreatening, allowing her to calm down and come to me on her own terms. That happened quickly enough.
“Oh, Lumber Jack, you startled me.”
“Hello, Fluttershy,” I said through Taur’s deep, rough voice. “I need a little favor, if you would be so kind.”
A smile spread across her face like hot butter on toast. “Of course I’ll help you! What’s wrong?”
“I need to contact Discord, and you said he was your friend. I was hoping you had a way of contacting him.”
Fluttershy nodded. “I do. Come inside; I’ll call him here and you can make yourself comfortable while we wait.”
After awkwardly squeezing Taur inside — it was quite large compared to my wolves, which were in turn larger than ponies — and seating myself on the floor, the yellow pegasus opened a drawer and pulled out a strange looking coin that shimmered with a dazzling, shifting array of colors. She then tilted her head to the side and stuck the coin in her ear, where it rattled around as if her skull was empty, before falling out the other ear.
“Uhhh....”
Fluttershy picked the coin back up off the floor. How she did that with hooves, I don’t know.
“Um... what?”
She looked at my puppet. “Oh, that’s a token Discord gave me. I have to do something ‘random’ with it to call him, and usually, strange things happen when I try.”
“Ah...” It still seemed really weird, but I decided to accept it at face value. “And... how long does it take him to get the message?”
“Well, he already knows. He just likes showing up whenever he wishes. Sometimes, he even goes back in time and arrives before I even could touch the coin.”
“On average?”
She shrugged. “An hour, tops?”
I shifted Taur’s middle limbs impatiently as an awkward silence fell between us. I sniffed the air; the scent of animal feces filled my puppet’s nostrils. While the scent was exactly the same as my human half remembered, my plant half actually enjoyed the smell. In fact, the natural fertilizer was so wonderfully fragrant that if someone told me to “eat shit,” I would probably agree.
And yet, despite the animal scents and animal noises, there was not a single animal in the room besides Fluttershy herself. “Your animals seem scared of me,” I remarked.
Fluttershy looked around, as if just noticing that fact herself. “Oh. I'm so sorry. You're just very big and a little bit intimidating; I’m sure they'll warm up to you soon enough.”
“I rather suspect they won't,” I countered. “Animals are clever. They know that they're still on the menu, to put it bluntly.” Upon seeing her reaction, I added, “I won't hurt them here. This town is not part of my hunting grounds. But the forest is.”
Fluttershy nodded. She picked up a half-empty teacup from a nearby table a took a sip. She looked at it, and then asked, “Would you like some tea? I can put on a fresh pot.”
I declined.
“If you're sure. Well, I’m glad that you're not going to hurt my animal friends. It's hard enough keeping the other predators from eating the other animals I’m caring for,” Fluttershy replied, following up with another sip of her tea. It had the same scent as her body, which led me to believe that she drank it very frequently.
“Are those animals pets?” I asked.
“Some,” she replied, “and some who aren’t pets yet. But I also care for and feed any forest critters that come to me.”
“I wouldn’t, if I were in your place,” I mused. “When people get involved with things, equilibriums get disturbed and whole ecosystems can suffer.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, take those rabbits I smell. The rabbits eat the grasses, and we predators eat the rabbits. Grass only gets so much sunlight, so there can only be so much grass, which means there can only be so many rabbits, and only so many predators. If too many rabbits are born, the grasses will be devoured too fast and the predators will feast and have more offspring. Then the rabbit population will drop, the grasses will recover, and the predators go hungry. Eventually, everything cycles back to normal, to equilibrium. But say you protected and fed a lot of rabbits. They’d eat too much and grow too numerous. The grass could be decimated, and then they and their predators would each go hungry in turn. Worse case, all three vanish from the ecosystem. And then other creatures suffer in turn.”
“Interesting,” Fluttershy replied genuinely. She was leaning in close to me. “I’d never thought of it like that before. I try to help both predators and prey equally, so I hope I’m not doing anything hurtful like that.”
“I wouldn’t expect you to be able to do much, anyway, even if you were,” I assured her.
Just then, a flash of light announced the arrival of the one I sought. The spirit was wearing a suit and tie, the latter of which was also a living fish. “Discord,” I greeted.
“Oh, I didn't expect to see you here,” the chaos spirit said with a grin. “So, what's up with you two?”
“Discord,” Fluttershy said, “Lumber Jack wanted to talk to you.”
“Well then...” There was a flash of light. Suddenly, Taur was sitting on... a therapist’s couch? And Discord was sitting on a plush, neon pink chair and wearing the most stereotypical doctor’s getup possible. “What can Dr. Discord do for you?”
“I have a weed problem.”
Suddenly, he was scribbling something on a pad of sticky notes that he pulled from somewhere. Ripping the top one off the stack, he slapped it onto Taur’s mask.
I peeled it off and read it.
All the dank brownies.
I looked back up. Discord was no longer in his doctor’s outfit; no, he was in skinny jeans, a white tank-top, and wearing a baseball cap embroidered with a marijuana leaf. And, if his eyes and expression were anything to go by, he was suddenly very, very stoned.
“Duuuuude... Ya want a brownie?” My nose was suddenly assaulted by the revolting scent of chocolate as he shoved a tray of brownies - obviously laced with pot - in my puppet’s face.
“No. And not that kind of weed problem, either.” I shoved the brownies away from my puppet’s face with no small amount of disgust. “I mean actual weeds, of the chaotic persuasion.”
Discord sobered up instantly. All his props and paraphernalia popped back to wherever they came from. Then he vanished, only to reappear a second later. “Interesting. I didn’t expect that to happen. Scratch that, I didn’t believe that could happen at all.” He smiled; his grin literally became sharklike, teeth and all. “I knew it was a smart idea to bring you.”
“So should I be worried about that?” I asked. “Because that doesn’t look normal at all.”
In reply, Discord ripped off his eagle's claw using his lion’s paw. It parted with the sound of ripping velcro, and sure enough, there was velcro fabric in the joint, instead of blood and gore. He then stuck the arm on my puppet’s back.
Sensation surged into my puppet from the limb. I could feel it, and feel with it. In fact... A little bit of experimentation revealed that, as I suspected, I had somehow gained control of the stray bird limb.
“Tell me, what do you get when you mix symbiosis and chimerism?”
I looked away from the arm and back at the amputee spirit. Inquisitively, I asked, “Is that what’s happened to me?”
He shrugged. “Meh. It’s close enough. Don’t worry about it. You’re fine.” Sometime while he was talking, the arm on my puppet’s back vanished, and a new eagle’s claw regrew on his body.
I nodded. “Thank you, Discord.”
“No problem!” Then, he vanished.
“So, um, are you alright?”
I suddenly realized that I had forgotten about the shy pegasus when Discord had arrived. Looking over at her slightly sheepishly, I replied, “Yes. I am.”
“Oh, that’s good!” She replied, relieved.
Picking my puppet up from where it was seated, I bowed its head at Fluttershy. “Thank you. You’ve been a big help.”
“You’re welcome.” A blush spread across her cheeks. I turned to squeeze once more through her door, but she stopped me. “Um, Lumber Jack?”
I stalled and turned. “Yes?”
“I was, um, wondering if you wanted to go, um, see the breezies next week? If that’s alright with you.”
“What are breezies?” I asked.
“Oh! They’re a subspecies of pony, and they’re really tiny. They migrate every year, gathering pollen from all over Equestria before taking it back to their homeland,” Fluttershy exclaimed, her previous timidness gone in a heartbeat. “They’re so adorable, and they’ll be migrating right through Ponyville!”
I considered it for a moment. It could be fun, and it would give me a chance to get to know the other ponies. I agreed. “Just let me know when and where. I’ll be in town.”
Despite the assurances to the contrary, I was still worried about the vines. It felt like they were spreading inside of me. My bark was swiftly turning pitch black from the roots up, and spikes were growing out of my trunk. My most recently bloomed flowers were turning a purplish hue as well, rather than their former pink. Several times I had to readjust the drape-like clothing Rarity had made for me so that my new spikes wouldn’t damage it.
But, even as my body was becoming more like the vines, the vines were becoming more like me. That was more of a magical effect than a physical one, for though there was no outward change, my magic was flowing through them more easily than before, and the sensations I felt from them and degree of control I had over them was increasing. It was almost like reverse-paralysis, where I was slowly regaining control over a limb that had been numb.
But, the most interesting development from the vines was the two seeds that had grown on them; they looked almost exactly like my transmission seeds. That boggled my mind a bit. Would I grow puppets from my vines?
A few days passed before I found out the answer. In the interim days, Taur finished producing a catalogue of possible goods to bring from Ponyville, while Lycan had started on something similar in Eezdraug, with the help of Muzen and Juzu as translators. Meanwhile, Compass Rose had returned to the forest in the company of a few of my ordinary wolves. With her aid, I was quickly plotting out a path between the two villages, though she demanded to be the one to actually name it. I argued with her first suggestions, but in the end, we settled on The Sap Road.
Finally, after nearly a week since I’d gone to talk to Discord, the two seeds dropped off the vines. They, along with the replacement seed that had formed on my branches after the Tree of Harmony incident, rolled off to gather stray wood. It didn’t take long, as I’d taken to gathering spare wood in order to fix my puppets and carve them new pieces.
The wolf formed easily enough, and ran off to rejoin my personal collection. The other two took longer; apparently, those seeds were more picky about which pieces of wood they wanted to use. Eventually, however, their bodies formed.
They looked the most human of any of my puppets, but that was a relative statement. The shorter, more densely built one had triangular eyes, a hole where its nose should be, and a very jagged mouth filled with dagger-like teeth. But for reasons unknown, it wasn’t only its eyes that glowed with green light. Instead, every orifice on its head shone with the same phantasmal glow.
The taller one, in stark contrast, was thin and spindly. Its face was a decent approximation of a human’s, but that only served to make it very creepy looking. The other major deviation was its hands, which were extremely long and clawlike. Replace the twigs there with blades, and put it in a red and green-striped sweater, and I’d have a horror movie villain lookalike.
The perfect names for them popped into my mind. The shorter one would be O’Lantern and the taller one would be The Ripper. And as I made them look at each other, I couldn’t help but wonder and hope that they had the same extended range that Taur did. It would be really fun to show them off on that Nightmare Night Zecora told me about. But I also wondered exactly how many seeds and puppets I’d be able to control at once. With O’Lantern and the Ripper now added to my collection, I now had fifteen. Even thirteen was more than any other timberwolf tree.
Huh... Now that I think about it, I’m not wholly a timberwolf tree anymore. I’m a tree with vines, and I control puppets, not just puppet wolves. I guess I’m a puppetree. I’m thankful that my Other wasn’t interested in psychology, or I’d be a psychiatree, and then ponies would come to complain about their problems and their feelings.
Ugh...
Anyway, one long run later, and I found that they had the same range as my other puppets, excluding Taur. I theorized that it was the centaur's... Oh, what's his name? Anyway, it was likely his blood and the zap apples that gave Taur his extended range. And, if that was the case, then how far would Discord’s blood let that puppet travel? Meh. It's not like I can test that at the moment.
But with O’Lantern and the Ripper confined to the forest and Sweet Apple Acres, I set them to work on building some of the things I needed. Paperwork, money, and goods were all things I’d need to store, and the open forest was not good for that. So, in order to kill two birds with one stone, I started building a log cabin out of the trees I cut down to build the Sap Road.
And while that was going on, Taur was busy dealing with something else that had popped up. And while it was annoying, it wasn’t entirely unexpected.
Of all the ponies I’d ever met, the one before me now had to have been the most “normal” looking one, by my Other’s standards. With a gray mane, a gray-tinged amber coat, and a lack of a horn or wings, she really did look like she would fit right in on the Other’s Earth.
Having singled me out as I was touring the market street, she’d approached and introduced herself as Mayor Mare, a name that instantly endeared her to me, if for no other reason than the wordplay. And then she opened her mouth and began hacking away at that little bit of positivity.
Ugh... Bureaucrats.
“It has come to my attention that you wish to establish a business here in Ponyville,” she stated, her tone calm and even like any good politician. Unlike a majority of the ponies I interacted with on occasion, she showed no signs of the hesitance that came from my imposing nature.
“Yes, that is correct.”
“Then am I correct in believing that you do not have the requisite paperwork?”
I shook my head. “Mayor Mare, I have next to nothing to my name. Of course I have no paperwork.”
“I am afraid that you will not be allowed to sell your wares without a merchant’s license and the approval of the Ponyville Merchant’s guild. However, both of these are easily acquired at the Town Hall,” she explained.
“I see. Then, would you point out the Town Hall to me?” I asked.
Smiling, she replied, “I can do you one better; I was heading back there myself, so why don’t you walk with me?”
It wasn’t long before we’d ended up at the town hall — the market streets circled the building, meaning that we were only about three blocks away. We entered the building, and for once, Taur didn’t need to squeeze in or duck as the door and ceiling were both sufficiently tall. The Mayor led me back into an office where I did have to squeeze somewhat to get my puppet in.
The office was a small one, decorated with warm, earthy colors. A simple wooden desk stood in the center of the room, with chairs on either side. In between immaculately stacked piles of papers stood a little plaque that read “Mayor Mare.”
“This is your office?” I asked upon reading the plaque.
“Yes. Have a seat, and I’ll go fetch the paperwork we need.”
“We?” But she was already out the door. I looked at the visitor’s side of the room, and at the chairs therein. There was no way I could fit my puppet’s rear in those, so I sat it down on the floor. Since my puppet’s lower half was wolflike instead of horselike, it sat like a wolf, leaving the forelegs extended and my head at exactly the same height as it had been before I sat.
Some time later, the mayor returned to her office with a stack of papers clutched against her chest. Had it been for anyone else, I would have described the stack as “comically” large; for me, however, “painfully” seemed the better word.
“You can’t seriously be suggesting that I have to do all that paperwork!” I exclaimed.
She giggled softly. “No, Lumber Jack, I do not. Most of this is for me, and is completely unrelated to you.”
I sighed in relief. “Thank god.”
“Yes, well, we still have a lot to go through.”
“Again, what do you mean by we?” I asked.
The mare across from me blushed, though she tried to maintain a neutral face. “Yes, well, um... I was given your basic history by Princess Twilight Sparkle, and I, well...”
“You what?”
She looked away from me. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but... I wasn’t sure if you knew how to read.”
Wait, that was what this was about? She didn’t know if I could read? But that meant... “You were planning on giving up part of your busy schedule to help me if I couldn’t read?” I saw her nod. “That’s really kind of you. Thank you, but no. I can read.”
She looked relieved. “Ah. That makes things much easier. Now, if you don’t mind me asking, how did you learn to read, anyway?”
“Discord.”
Mayor Mare nodded, accepting that at face value. “Well then, let’s get started. First off, identification...”
And so began the long and arduous task of filling in the paperwork. Before I knew it, I was officially a citizen of Equestria, though not Ponyville since the Everfree was legally “uninhabitable.” I was also given a P.O. box, my merchant's license, and a form to take to the merchant’s guild office nearby. “After you get that last one stamped,” the mayor told me, “You’ll be good to go!”
I stood, stretching even though I had no muscles to stretch. “Ah, thank you for your help, Mayor Mare. I really didn’t mean to impose on your time.”
“No, no, it is no problem at all. This is my job, you know.” She nodded once, as if agreeing with herself. “Now, I would suggest you also go to either of the two banks in town and set yourself up a savings account or a merchant's account, and get a safe-deposit box while you’re at it. You don’t need them, per se, but they would make things much easier on you.”
“Great idea,” I replied. Then we said farewell and I left the room. One quick stop to the correct office later, and I was all set. As of that moment, I was legally allowed to run a business and sell in the market stalls. All that’s left was a matching set of permissions from Eezdraug, and I would be in business!
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Hey! Update! Sweet!
Also:
I don't think the color thing is supposed to be there.
Tea with Fluttershy, bureaucracy, and unholy-plant-monster Abbot and Costello puppets. Good chapter.
Well done. I must note that all of the chapters are also very well written.
So... Fluttershy x Lumberjack pairing?
I guess Fluttershy really likes animals. Or trees (Animal trees?). After all, intelligence doesn't change what Lumberjack is - A predator/animal/beast thing with a strange taste in fashion (A tree wearing clothes?).
least he didn't do a drug plant puppet that would be funny of the possibilities illegal puppet of fashion!
6986554 For some reason i was getting more of a wario and waluigi feel from the two new puppets.
6986511 Actually, Knowing Discord, i think it's intentional.
6986511
Fixed.
Huzzah! I had hoped to see an update for this soon, as I'd begun to archive binge to refresh myself; as is often the case, as soon as I did, it updated. So that's nifty.
Also:
I think there's an errant 'k' in that now. Just sort of loitering around.
6986803
Fixed.
which lead me to believe that she drank
Sensation serged into my puppet from the limb
migrating right through ponyville
my collection, I know had fifteen
The Mayor lead me back into
1. Led.
2. Surged. Never saw one with two E's before.
3. Forgot to capitalise.
4. Now.
5. Led.
Take your time, gather your wood (thoughts) and slowly take care of your things so that your range (life) can steadily adjust back to normal or even extend more (free time).
I'm just bad. Don't ask why I decided to do that.
*Bangs head on the wall*
Why do everyone always decide to become citizen of Equestria for whatever trifling reason and bind themselves under laws of ponies when they could have some many options.
Citizenship is NOT a trifling matter! You could have went for visiting merchant license or whatever, or set up a store just inside Everfree!
RAWR
6986853
Thanks.
6986872
Because he is a citizen of Equestria? He's a natural-born sapient individual who lives in Equestrian territory and cannot leave pony territory. It's a subtle way for him to say, "Look, I know I'm in your territory and that I have to play by your rules. I'm keeping everything clean and legal, so leave me alone." Plus, it's likely that in order to get a merchant's license, he needed to either be a citizen of Equestria, of have ID from a recognized nation (something that Eezdraug and the Zone are not). The P.O. box was likely from the same stipulations, because I highly doubt that "a grove in the Everfree" is a valid mailing address.
For any other HiE fic, citizenship should be a more serious decision, since they have a choice as to which set of laws they follow. Jack does not have that luxury.
I could imagine an instance in a game where the Merchants are akin to Timberwolves, I mean, then every store would know your name and it'd make sense. :3
FlutterJack FTW!
Did anyone else imagine O'Lantern looking like Scarecrow from Batman Begins and The Ripper looking like Slender Man?
6986627
I don't see that happening, but Fluttershy does want to be a tree I think.
6987001
It's a little curious that she's rather comfortable around Taur despite his size and violent appearance, enough to invite him to go watch the Breezies migration. Then again she gets along with Discord and he drives everyone else (except for Pinkie) crazy so maybe there's no ulterior motive and she's just aching for sapient company that can talk back. I believe Fluttershy would also think that Jack would appreciate the Breezies since they spread pollen like bees do. And while Fluttershy has admitted to wanting to be a tree, I don't believe she meant she would like to become part of one through Jack's gruesomely direct method that almost claimed Rarity.
Ripper is clearly Freddy Krueger inspired but I am picturing O'Lantern to look like Jack O'Lantern from Billy and Mandy. The thought just makes me smile.
control
per se
6987137
Fluttershy has shown a love for animals of all types, including animals that are actively trying to hurt her and her friends. Lumber Jack is an "animal"(a unique one, at that) who is capable of speech and chose, of his own accord, not to harm ponies. Additionally, he is a predator who agreed not to hunt her friends. Finally, the fact that he can speak would not separate him from animals in her mind, because Fluttershy can speak with animals- which I presume to mean she understands Sylvan(it's a D&D language all beasts are presumed to "speak", albeit simply). I see no reason why she WOULDN'T be interested in getting closer to Lumber Jack.
6987193
Ripper is Freddy Kruger (and the infamous Jack The Ripper). O'Lantern is similar to Jack O'Lantern in style, but the puppet's mouth also glows and is a little more stout.
A merchant who lives in an Eldritch location with non Euclidian geometries, and is arguably far more powerful than the assorted heroes and monsters who pass by.
Anyone else think of the various dungeon shopkeepers found in the mystery dungeon games and other roguelikes?
Woe unto any shoplifters.
That's brilliant and very Discord.
6986872 Pretty sure Jack would find being deported a very... unwelcome experience. Nobody likes being uprooted from their home.
6987861
Well, I guess the pain of being uprooted will depend entirely on how his synthesis with the plunder vines go. If his roots become more tentacle like then he might actually be able to have some form of self-locomotion. You know, kind of like those evil moving trees people see in video games, table top games and the occasional fantasy horror movie.
6988040
He still has roots, and with how much power he has those roots now go quite deep. Are they taproots? Are they fibrous roots? Either case, he would need to dig himself up and locomote dirt-and-all for any reasonable transport. Perhaps he may find a way to fly, hovering his dirt-and-all mass with the collective lift of his seeds and phytokinesis.
If he ever moved his main body neaer to civilization, he may need the services of an earth pony tree talent to alter his appearance to something less obviously unpleasant.
6987137
6987341
6986627
Fluttershy is shy around other ponies.
Any being that is different enough from Flittershy's mental image of "another pony" will not trigger Fluttershy's social anxiety.
Note: Fluttershy uses "another pony" to mean "another person who is part of society", meaning Gryphons also are considered "ponies" in Fluttershy's mind.
Fluttershy is incredibly self-centered, but just like the rest of the Element Bearers, she chooses to counteract her nature through active expressions of kindness.
Note: Rarity has a selfish nature, but chooses generous actions. Twilight has an elitist nature, but chooses friendly actions. Rainbow has a narcissistic nature, but chooses to bind herself to others. Pinkie Pie has a nihilistic nature, yet chooses to do actions that make others feel they matter. Applejack has a closed-minded nature, yet chooses to open up to both give and receive truths.
6987645
Next course of action: external attachable masks for his bipedal puppets to reduce chance of freaking out customers.
Logical evolution
6988397
Logical? Yes. Sensible? No. Not if he wants to keep having customers...
I get the feeling that this explanation can be used for a LOT of things.
This makes 3 Jacks now....
6989864
Lumber Jack
Jack o'lantern
Jack the ripper
?
6990679
Just 7 more and we'll have a full set!
6991931
Let's seem BlackJack for casinos, CarJack for either car repair or car thievery, Jackson for his kid, Jackass for the jerk.... wait.
I know it's probably not exactly correct but I always imagine taur looking like this: i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/jg2jlslfkaawx3j4xoka.jpg
Look at the wind will!
6993622
It's close, though. Replace the horse parts with equivalent wolf parts, and you've got the basic form down. Then make it about 2.5 times the size of a pony.
You're a real plant-up cometreean, aren't you.
6998100
Of course tree is. Did you really expect him to leaf such good puns alone?
6998226
Careful there, bud. Bad puns are my terreetory.
6998292
Careful that you don't get lost in a forest of puns. There are just so many branching paths that you wood get lost in there firever. A sad sap like you should just leaf.
6990679 Candlejack?
vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/villains/images/2/2e/Bvhvfnjvnmcv.png/revision/latest?cb=20130712174837
7010795
Flapjack.
ihop.com/menus/main-menu/pancakes/-/media/ihop/MenuItems/Pancakes/Original%20Buttermilk%20Pancakes/Original_%20Buttermilk_Pancakes.png?mh=367
Fluttershy reeks of her animal feces. Say what kind of soap do they use in Equestria?
7012384
Flapjack
i.cdn.turner.com/v5cache/CARTOON/site/Images/i88/flapjack_180x180.png
7026042
With that many animals in her home, I don't think any amount of cleaning yourself would get that kind of smell out.
The puns! I love it. Thanks for the laughs, wille
7026507 I'd say she's at least smart enough to have them go to the bathroom outside. Or use extra strength litter. Or both.
7072508
She cares for all sorts of animals.
Some of those animals eat their own poop.
Some even spread their poop on themselves. Like hedgehogs.
Hedgehogs are disgusting.
Lumber Jack's continuing evolution is moving in strange directions.
7073151 That they are, but still.
7026042 If you get this reference...
Screw it. I'm so very P.O.'ed because I try to search for the "Doggy Steak
poopSauce/Shampoo" picture from "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy" yet Google, Bing, and the wifi I'm currently using is craaaaaaaap.