Fifty feet.
From top to bottom.
Such a fate it would be to fall that far down...
It was a cool evening with a soft breeze blowing through Canterlot. Such a wonderful city with amazing people. Though, Sonata could argue about that. She wasn't amazing, and she knew it very well. Even people said so themselves. I mean, how could she feel so foolish? Thinking she was cute, happy, and fun? She was nothing but an idiot. And she wanted to end it.
How? Jumping. She stood on top of the school she and her fellow sisters almost took over. She was on the very edge, that one little step could plummet her down. She was fifty feet above ground, and below her, crowds of students and adults. They tried to tell her to stop and not do it. She couldn't hear them. Simply cause she ignored them.
After Battle of the Bands, nobody cared for the sirens. Especially Sonata. They hated her, made fun of her, all in the past. Move to the present, NOW they care for her? And why? Because they would be to blame for her death? Because they wanted to look like heroes? Because they actually regretted what they have done- No. No, that's not it. Why would people regret? Why would they care for a girl who acts like she's five?
She has seen herself. Stupid, immature, and ridiculous. She wanted to be fun, but she couldn't. It was hopeless. All the jokes and fun stuff she did, only just made herself look more stupid. People laughed. Not at IT, at HER. And she finally realized that she has been a waste of life. An accident. A fool.
She has been harassed all the time by kids because of what she did, and she hated it. Always covering her ears and crouching and crying, begging for it to stop. How people bully her, write crude stuff on her locker, and even making fun of her.
"'Taco Tuesday! Oooooooh!'" said a student from a flashback. "Grow up, sissy. Nobody cares about you and your stupid sisters, you idiot!"
"Slut!" yelled another teen from another flashback. "Skank! Whore! Bitch!"
"Go fuck yourself!" shouted another guy from yet another flashback. "You tried to kill us all!"
"I was just-" said Sonata during the flashback, but only got interrupted.
"Bullshit! You are a horrible person, you aren't funny, and you are nothing! Get away, psycho!"
Sonata covered her ears in real life, and tears flowed. She was broken by these statements. Wait, the Dazzlings! Oh, wait, the Dazzlings...
Love was all she wanted from her sisters, but no. None of them liked her. They weren't sisters, they were people forced to love each other, and it failed to work. Aria hates her, Adagio hates her, yet she loved them like sisters, as they were. Why couldn't they show love and respect back? Even at the times she was hurt by the others around? Even at a time like now?
"Aria, I made something for you!" said a cheery Sonata from the past.
Aria looked at the little card Sonata made with a poor drawing and some goofy handwriting. "Get that crap away from me." Aria said.
"Crap?" Sonata questioned. "Well, I see it as-"
"Did I say what you see it as?" Aria asked. "No. Go bug someone else with your stupid trash, will ya?"
"Sonata, for the last time... SHUT UP!" yelled Adagio, now in a different flashback.
"But I-" said a sad Sonata, but yet interrupted.
"Shut the hell up! Nobody cares for what you say! I could care more for Aria's stupid hair than your words and thoughts!" She twitched her eyebrow. "Why don't you settle your problems with the therapy person at our school or whatever?"
"Well... I thought you guys would help me feel better..." she answered slowly, a tear streaking down her cheek. "Y-you... you do love me as a sister, right?" She had a sad puppy look on her face, and more tears started to come down. She loved them, but they didn't.
"Yeah, yeah, we love you, sweetie." Adagio answered without any empathy or meaning. "Go play, yeah?"
"Why?" Sonata asked herself during the memory. "Why doesn't a-anyone l-l-l-like m-me? I'm just like them... or am I?"
She didn't know, nor did she even care. Her time is up, and her death is now. One... single... step...
"Gee," Sonata said to herself out loud. "It really does get colder the higher you get... And the fate of death is only growing warmer and warmer..."
She put a foot up... and-
"SONATA!" screamed a girl. Sonata heard it very well. It wasn't a girl who spoke on a mic or megaphone, it wasn't a girl who had a very loud voice to be heard easily from miles away, matter of fact, the girl wasn't below her. She was behind her.
THEY were behind her.
Coming out of the door to the roof stood Sunset, but not just her, but her sisters, too. Oh, but what could they want? A close up? They never cared for her, so why bother? Sonata had a likely feeling that if she stuck with life, she would enter back to Hell, and live with more suffering in life.
"Sonata," said Adagio. "Please-"
"What the hell do you want?" Sonata said, facing the trio. "Can't you see I'm busy?" She had tears starting to form and streak down her cheeks. She was clearly in an unstable and broken state.
"Listen, Sonata-"
"Leave me alone!" she shouted, scaring the crowd of helpers below. "You wanted this, so here you go!"
"Wanted?" Aria questioned. She took a step forward. "We never wanted th-" She took another step until Sonata stomped on the edge.
"ONE MORE STEP!" she shouted with all her rage. "One more step, and I'll throw your punk ass with me!!!"
This wasn't like Sonata at all. She never swore, never threatened, never shouted as loud as this before. She was definitely not herself. And this only scared the three even more.
But Sunset stepped up to the plate. "Sonata, we're here to help. We're here to save you." She looked at the crying blue teen, who was thinking deeply to cut her off right now with a leap. "We never wanted this, we never wanted to hurt you... I never hurt you..."
"That is true..." Sonata admitted, sounding a little resolved. But it doesn't mean she was. "But that's YOU. That's one person! One in the hundreds! Not even my sisters care!" She glared at Aria and Adagio, both in a hurt state of seeing their sister. They were hoping it wouldn't be their last time seeing her. "You two never liked me in the first place! Never! You made fun of me, hated me, never cared for me... the hell... the hell are you people?" She was breaking down, now crying when she was talking. "You're s-supposed t-to... to be m-my s-s-sisters. But you're NOT!"
"And we're sorry!" Adagio shouted. "We're sorry for not being there, we're sorry for not caring, and we're sorry for not loving you back. We knew you loved us both, like real sisters, yet we never gave you the same love or respect. We want to change that, Sonny." Sonata froze in place as she heard it. Sonny... that was her little nickname given by her sisters, and they always called her that. It was a nice, friendly, and adorable feeling her heart. That was the past, but years later, it was never said again. Until now.
"We love you, Sonata." said Aria. "We just never really showed you. We only cared for ourselves, and fought each other. From this day on, we'll care for you, Sonata. We'll be there if you ever get hurt, like the time you got hurt when riding that bike when we arrived here." Sonata got a memory flash. They were there, helping her after she messed up on riding a bike. Those were the first weeks on Earth, and she was clueless. But thank God her sisters were there.
"Or maybe when the one big guy years ago threatened to hurt you with his gang?" Sonata got another flash. A big guy in a jacket with two goons behind him, and he was ordering for Sonata to 'come have fun'. Next, the three were down and out, with Aria and Adagio hugging Sonata, as she was scared and frightened. Another caring memory of her sisters...
"Sonata, your sisters love you. No matter what. It wasn't best during the past, but now, they are here to show it! I care, too, and so will the school." said Sunset.
Rain started to pour from the grey sky, dimming the scene, making it darker and more dramatic. "I don't b-believe you." Sonata said. "I don't believe things will be alright. All I know is that big meanies will keep attacking and insulting me, again! And I know that my sisters won't help, again! And I'll be on this roof, guess what? Again."
"That's not true, Sonata!" Adagio and Aria said together.
"We're here to help this time. If any big bullies tease you or laugh at you like a joke, you bet your ass we'll take care of them! If you have any problems, you bet your ass we'll help you on it! Sonata..." Adagio's voice was cracking as she took a step without knowing. "We're sorry..." And Sonata couldn't believe what happened next. Adagio, on her knees, clutching her chest, crying. Crying real, watery tears. Never has she seen that. Nor has she seen that on Aria, as she was looking down, and though rain poured, she could see the crystal tears falling from Aria's eyes. They... they really did care for her...
"Don't leave, Sonata..." said Aria, looking up with makeup running and her hair dripping wet. "We love you..." Her voice wasn't as tough as it always was. It was broken and emotional.
"I don't want my awesome sister to die..." said Adagio, looking up with her tears flowing like a river. "Not today... We should've known you were in pain."
Sunset just watched the two cry, and looked at Sonata with worrying and sorrowful eyes. She mouthed, 'They love you, Sonata. Don't hurt them..." This made Sonata cry even harder, letting more tears fall down her face and fall off, flying down to the ground below her. A place she thought was gonna end up today. Well...
"Guys..."
It wasn't.
Sonata took a step away from the edge, and walked towards the girls. Immediately, she rushed and opened her arms, snot and tears running even more down her face.
The sisters then formed a group hug. "I'm sorry... I'm so, so sorry!" Sonata said, digging her face into Adagio's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"
"And we are, too." Adagio said, rubbing her gentle hand through Sonata's wet hair to calm her down. "We promise this'll never happen again."
"I'll promise, too." Sonata said back, this time more calmer and happier. This made Adagio bring up a warm, friendly smile to her face. Her sister was safe...
She looked up to Sunset, who was crying from the pure look of sisters coming back together. Adagio quickly mouthed, 'Thank you.' Without Sunset, the two sirens wouldn't be able to help her. Sunset helped them go through how to help Sonata, how to be a better person, but most importantly, how to be a better sister.
And the sirens, from that day on, were finally sisters. All loved each other, all cared for each other...
Holy guacamole!
That was very intense. Good thing that was a good ending.
Dang that was intense. I never enjoy seeing a character I love suffer, and I do love Sonata.
Really glad she didn't take the long drop.
Hm. Amazing what it took to snap the other two awake, but I'm glad they did wake up here. The sheer antagonistic behavior from the other students feels like a little bit of a stretch, but maybe those were just the highlights, or what her suicidal brain remembers? It probably doesn't need defending that someone who wants to die might see things as a little worse than they are, but given the way Sunset was treated even after months of being harmless, part of me doesn't doubt that Sonata heard/remembered every word right.
6457224 the editor for this?
6458626 sure. Shoot me a pm.
this wasso powerful, and heart breaking! your writing really shows their emotions so intensely! kudos to you on such a fine story.
Every time I see one of your stories, it always seems better than the last. Very powerful stuff here. Keep it up!
She should have jumped...The only reason they care now is because she was about to kill herself...So really if she didn't attempt the jump they to this day would still bully her and not care for her...Only when her life was on the line did they realize they loved her, yeah right...Funny how her predicament was like mine but instead of doing suicide I turned my personality around and became something that they all feared...Suicide is only an answer when things will never change...And things never change...
Some issues:
1) I can't square the most congenial high school in the known universe with the bullying and venom in this story. Sunset Shimmer turned into a brainwashing demon, and the school still forgave her instantly. By the standards of the show, the sheer amount of harassment you employed to make this sadfic work beggars belief.
2) A mythological beast from another dimension believes in Christian theology about hell?
3) Sonata's repeated use of "flashback", a technical literary term, to describe her own flashbacks.
4) The only way this could be more maudlin was if Maud Pie was in it.
5) Everything is wrapped up neat and tidy, like a mawkish after-school special. I don't particularly buy Aria and Adagio's change of heart. Maybe they do care, deep down, but this overemotional gushing doesn't seem in-character at all.
Despite my laundry list of criticisms, your writing isn't bad, but it sorely needs emotional restraint and understatement and to be consistent with the source material.
I love a happy ending.
Perhaps an alternate ending where she jumps? In the end its your call, but other than some illregularites it was a fun read.
6460336 I AM thinking about making an alternate ending chapter... Don't really know yet... Depends if people really want that.
Cute story. A few difficult-to-quantify issues with the presentation, but I liked it on the whole.
6459987
Did we watch the same Rainbow Rocks? (did you watch Rainbow Rocks at all?) Sunset was not "instantly forgiven" in any sense. As for your last sentence, that's unnecessarily harsh, although the vitriol of harassment levelled at Sonata is overkill. Realistically (in this world's context), the students would do to her what they did to Sunset – ignore her, glare at her, and/or occasionally throw a rock at her or make a snide remark if the opportunity arises. I actually agree with you on points 2-5, for what that's worth, and you summed up the story's legit issues better than I could.
6460931
"Instantly forgiven" in the sense that they were willing to give her a shot at redemption, as opposed to calling the cops or demanding she be expelled. The only actual discrimination she suffers in Rainbow Rocks was Apple Bloom kind of blowing her off at the beginning. A far cry from what's presented here.
If anything, Rainbow Rocks implies she's torturing herself far more than any of the other students are.
It's certainly evocative. You did a nice job with the emotions.
However, I would suggest finding an editor who's good at helping with dialogue. The conversations were stilted and felt artificial.
......thank you. Needs a little editing but..... thank you.
LateBronyWriter
6460423 Yes, I would love(hate) to see another ending.
An alternate ending would be nice. What's with all the suicide fics anyway?
media.tumblr.com/a83104c4d0b26488782480e8aacf22f6/tumblr_inline_mhpsptVCIc1qz4rgp.gif
Like already said you did a really good job getting on Sonata feelings, still a editor would have been helpful
6460423 i would like an alternate ending too
6460931 no one EVER SAID this was set in the same setting as the movie, so your argument that it is wrong because the behavior doesn't line up with the movie is sort of rendered void. now it would be different if he specifically said it was set in the same setting as rainbow rocks and equestria girls. THEN your argument would be valid
6475369
Just skimmed through the story again, and you're right. None of the events in EQG1 or RR are mentioned even once. So it is at least possible this story is set in a humanized universe that isn't Equestria Girls.
But surely you can see why I and others assume it is – the specific characters, the fact that they're in high school. If not, then you're just being pedantic. Either way, an AU tag might be warranted.
6476249 yes i can see how one would assume (no sarcasm intended) and yes it should have an alternate universe tag
Hm, alright. Not a bad story, for sure. The narration is pretty good, but I think I need to address a few issues. For one, I think the level of harassment for Sonata is kinda... taking it too far. Sunset just received glares and getting ignored for brainwashing students. What did the Dazzlings do? Pretty much same thing. Another thing, I think Aria and Adagio's confrontation with Sonata is a bit forced, especially with the flashbacks provided. Perhaps add a scene of them, realizing their mistakes?
But anyways, like I said, it's not a bad story. I'll give it a like.
6487409 Thanks!
6488845 No problemo.
Da feels… I cry manly tears…
Why must I be so sensitive?
I'm not one to cry, so when I read your story, I did. You deserve a trophy.
I'm not crying!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!! WHO LEFT ONIONS HERE!!!
Qa.
Damn those onion cutting ninjaz
7841200
Idk
My GF is literally the only reason I've not yet given my self over to the frost.
Because which ever comes first, winter finally claims me, or my salvation. Ill cling to that terrible illusion, Hope.
Writing is a bit shaky. The "in a flashback" "in the past" etc really made me squint and want to slap you. But all in all ot was enjoyable and relatively sweet.
I loved this so much.