Chapter 2: Welcome to the Panel
"This art may be perverted, but it's still well done," I said while looking over a lewd picture of me and a pony. "These people have some high expectations though,"
"Why are you looking at fap art?" The creature who revealed himself as discord asked,
"Because they took there time to draw me in the weirdest scenarios. Freaking tentacles man!" I said while showing him the newest weird piece of art I found.
The entire reason we were able to have this conversation was becasue no one showed up to the panel thing except for Fluttershy who was chilling up here with me and discord. She had one of those creepy stalker faces going on, and I swear she put something in my water bottle. Good thing I grabbed a soda before coming in here so ha!
"This is still more tame than the fanfiction though," I said while pulling over a laptop and opening it up to one of the websites that was dedicated to my show. "Seriously, look at all the self inserts!"
"I don't see the appeal. You're kind of an asshole," Discord said while making a cup of chocolate milk appear in his hand. I wasn't going to ask about that considering he literally pulled me between universes.
"Just because I tell people I don't like to fuck off doesn't mean I'm an asshole"
"It kind of does,"
"No, if i told everyone to fuck off I'd be an asshole. Your friend their for instance is someone I don't have a problem with," Fluttershy smiled at that and moved closer to us.
"Maybe I think your an asshole because you tried to pick a fight with me and that stall vendor."
"You a dragged me to another universe, and he was asking for it!" After saying that I turned toward the crowd of ponies that had gathered during our argument. "The fuck you all want then?"
"This is James' panel, right?" One of the mares in the front asked with a little shyness peaking in her voice.
"It is. Why?" I asked when the mare signaled for everyone that was waiting outside to come on in. Within moments all the chairs were filled up with mares and small colts alike. "That answers my question,"
"I was expecting them to slowly come here," Discord said wide eyed at the audience of mares.
"I wasn't expecting them to come at all," I replied while taking a seat behind a table. There was a large crowd out there, and they were here because of me? That doesn't make too much sense since I'm a fictional character here. "Why are they all here?"
"We saw you nearly beat up that stall vendor. A pony couldn't stand like that so we asked around and found that you had a panel here," One of the mares from the crowd answered.
"That doesn't explain why you're here,"
"You're the real James! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity,"
"How do you know I'm not some imposter?"
"We don't!" I had to facepalm at that. They don't know if I'm actually the real James. They just assume I am because I can stand in weird postures for them.
"Fine, whatever. I guess welcome to my panel." I pulled the microphone over to me before jumping on top of the table to get everyone's attention. "Hello minions..."
There was a lot to do at the start of the panel, but I'm going to save some time and skip to the more interesting bits like the Q&a and a few interesting moments. Trust me when I say there were some insane moments during the entire panel.
***Q&A***
"Are you and Jason dating?" One mare from the front row asked. I froze when she asked that, they fucking shipped me with my friend who was a dude!
"NO! I'm happily single," the entire crowd started whispering about something. Eventually one of the mares toward the back raised a hoof and I pointed to her.
"Do you want to go out?" Did one of these ponies literally ask me out? I wasn't even going to answer that question and pointed randomly into the audience for the next question.
"How did you get here?" asked a feminine voice, but it was different from the other mares for some reason. Looking up to where I pointed I saw what looked like a anthropomorphic dragon.
"That dude over there-" I pointed toward Discord who was currently talking to Fluttershy, "decided to bring me here. I didn't know about this until a few days ago."
"How did he do that? Last I heard only Celestia and Discord held those powers." Realization hit them all instantly, and the entire audience turned to Discord as if they were part of a hive-mind. I think I did a bad thing here.
***2 hours after the riot***
After extinguishing the fire that had sprouted from the riot that tried to destroy the 'chaotic demon from Tartarus'. I wasn't sure what this guy did, but he clearly pissed off all of these horses at one point or another. This did explain why he didn't walk around with his 'normal' appearance.
The dragon from earlier was now on stage since she was helping me extinguish the flames. She was wearing a shirt that had a picture of me, and Jason beating the crap out of each other. Pretty accurate if you ask me.
"Thanks for the help ms..."
"Ruby, and you're welcome James,"
"How did you know my... never mind T.V. show. I keep forgetting that,"
"So, you're really James?"
"Yeah. Hard to believe there is a show about me here. I mean I'm just a dude that tells most people to fuck off,"
"That's what everyone likes. You don't pretend to like everyone like these ponies do." Ponies pretend to like each other? It's better to just tell someone if you don't like them if you ask me. I mean why put up a facade for someone if you don't like them at all?
"Strange. Back home most people try to get everyone to like everyone. Kind of the opposite here,"
"I suppose it's because we lack a balance."
"A bit of a philosopher are you?"
"I picked it up from you," I never said any of my philosophical ideas aloud. How did she know about that?
"I never-"
"Sometimes, the show says your thoughts," That was wrong. That is really fucking wrong! Why would they invade my head like that? I never said they could use me as a fucking character, but here they are going into my fucking head while they're at it!
"That's not right. What exactly does it show?"
"Nothing big, just what you think when something big happens like when you got hit with that surprise test."
"FUCK THAT PROFFESSOR!"
"Everybody said that," It was nice talking to this dragon person thing. It was getting dark out from what little natural light came in through the door, and that was when I realized I had no where to sleep. GOD DAMN IT DISCORD!
heh not bad so far
\(*-*)/ my fears are put to rest! I was actually worried that I messed this up already.
Bizarre story. I find your line of logic interesting though.
6418334 I like unique stories. I also like bizarre stories so I figured I'd write one.
Interesting concept, I'll read it soon.
6418409 I've only seen it once before , and It was from one of the ponies perspectives. I figured I'd try my hand at it.
6418424 Yeah I've seen it before too, but like you said not often.
6418444 Was it the one where Luna summoned the human, and Lyra got him instead? or did you actually find a different one?
6418453 I don't remember it's been a long time, could you send me a link?
6418465 Give me a sec. Radio gave me a link awhile back so I'm wading through those comments to find it since I don't recall the title.
Edit: Finally found it
6418465 I found it. Check the other reply.
6418490 Thanks I'll compare the two and see what I think.
6418492 k
Holy shit I'm loving it haha
6418593 Happy to see you like it.
It's interesting. I'll keep an eye on this story.
6418632 \(*-*)/ It's something!
Normally, I find humans that have arrived in Equestria a bit predictable but I see some potential. The protagonist unwittingly discovered himself that he is the unwitting tv star for ponies audience. the guy sensately doesn't seem to be the sharpest tool of the shed, I hope that he realizes that he is not a shining example of humanity, and that his general attitude toward his fellow man is actually deplorable and he will try to act like a descent human in front of these ponies being the unofficial ambassador of his species. I could imagine that will be stuck to do product endorsement to make a living and that he is going to be forced to be in a show that caters to young foals and have to act like a sort of Barny the dinosaur, and act like a rigid automaton.
6418637 Welcome to the other story mix-up.
I always see these humans ending up in equestria, but how many of them get Discord as a cab driver? Not many (I think anyway). Also his character is going to have to follow a certain path in the future. As for an example of humanity there is already a T.V. show so they have an idea on what we are like. Also they can try to make him endorse products, but do you rightly think any character I create would agree to doing such a thing. maybe if they got payed a lot, but not for any other reason. Again it's nice to see you here as well mix-up.
Discord you are an IDIOT
6419236 It's Discord! He makes amazing plans, but forgets certain details about said plans. In this insane it's the fact he took a dude that had no idea he was in a T.V show and brought him to another universe. Now the dude is going to act very hostile towards some people. Thanks for reading.
6419622 That was a comment though.
6419852 Why? Too amazing for you?
Very nice. Liked and tracked. Hope it won't die and keeps getting better.
6420332 I don't let stories die...often. I try to keep me interested by not focusing solely one one story. Keeps my creativity going and makes these stories good. thank you for the like and I hope to make this worth your time.
So have Discord just run off?
If so then i'm sure a lot of them would take him in.
6420602 For now. Remember that he has seen the equivalent of clop so he might be wary of staying with one of them.
This is pretty good!
6422436
James's thoughts on them showing his thoughts.
6602006 Thoughtsception!
Little does he know............ but this is part of the show too.
6891215 Hush! He doesn't need to know that!