So it Begins
Chapter 17: So it Begins
"Are we there yet?" Bon Bon complained while lifting her head from her chair's armrest.
"You didn't have to come, Bonny. We're going to be flying for awhile just to get one of these things." I said while getting up from my own chair to stretch. "Anything going on, Gretch?"
"If you look to your left you'll see clouds, and to your right, guess what, more clouds." Gretch replied with a sarcastic tone. For the last two days she's been like that; she must really despise these diamond dog people for her to hate them so deeply. Maybe it'd be a good idea to talk with her about it at some point.
"Well, I'm going to see if there's anything we missed on the ship, see ya." I said while walking up to the ladder that's at in the middle of the room. I grabbed a hold of it and began to climb when the blimp jerked a bit, but Gretch wasn't worried so why should I be. Taking a deep breath I continued climbing the rather lopsided ladder until I reached the next floor. This place isn't exactly friendly to anyone that needs help, is it?
Without anyone screaming in my ear or distracting me I was finally able to get a good look at what was up here. The room was very spacious with wooden crates everywhere. When I looked up I could see multiple hot air balloons being filled up to keep the thing floating...I don't think that's how blimps work. In the corner was that computer that Ruby showed me those 'unique' fanfictions about my life which still creep the hell out of me. I do not want to see anymore tentacles in my lifetime.
I began to make my way towards the back of the blimp passing all those crates that seemed to form a maze up here. Did we always have that couch? The more of these crates I passed the more curious I became until I finally couldn't stand it anymore and picked one to open. The crate I walked up to had a strange insignia on it with what looked like a ponified yin-yang symbol on it. The top of it was nailed down, but the nails were rusty and jutting out in various directions so I grabbed one and yanked it out. This was a horrible idea.
"Gah, owowowow." I said as I pulled my hand away from the crate and looked at it. I had a splinter the size of a tree jutting out of my finger! Most people say to use tweezers for something like this, but I'm a real man and tried to pull it out with my teeth! When I bit on to it and started pulling my head flew back and I gave a successful huzzah! I looked towards where my former wooden enemy was and...it broke in half. FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!
I looked around for anything to help me pull the little nuisance out of my finger, but I couldn't find anything! There was nothing here except for more of those fucking crates! I looked down at my finger and sighed as I knew my only option right now was to dig out the splinter with my nails. This wasn't going to be fun.
***Behind the craters***
"What is he doing?" Healing asked as she peered through a small crack between the crates. Unlike James she was not too keen on touching the crates that were clearly splintering and barely holding together as it was.
"I think he's trying to pull out that splinter," Surprise said as she stuck part of her head through the opening. Healing just stared at her for a minute before speaking back up.
"He can't grab it. He bit off the part that he could pull it out with"
"*Gasp* He's clawing it out!" Surprise semi-screamed as she saw James digging his nails under the splinter in order to remove it. A magical aura surrounded Healing's horn as she prepared to cast a spell. but Surprise quickly smacked it. "We can't let him know we're here yet."
"You don't dig out a splinter though! It's unsanitary and would hurt worse then the splinter itself," Healing reasoned.
***Back to James***
'Fuckfuckfuckfuck! I hate those damn splinters!' I thought to myself as I finally clawed out the stupid piece of wood from my skin. I was bleeding a little from where the little bugger was, but I was free from its torment and could move on with my life. I though I heard something hit the floor from behind the crates, but I couldn't find a way around them to see what had caused it so I just moved on back towards the ladder. Before I reached it however I saw that cannon again
"Seriously, this thing is useless," I said as I kicked the side of it which I deeply regretted as I started bouncing around on one foot.
"Hahahahaha, I simply love how I don't even have to do anything to you for a laugh, James!" Discords voice said somewhere nearby.
"Oh great, the goat snake." I said to myself as I walked over to the ladder which was only a few feet away. "How about you go annoy Bonny instead of me."
"I would but you are a unique brand of chaos! You're that chaos that tries to create order! It's simply brilliant." He said while his weird yellow eyes appeared on the side of a crate. "I tried something similar, but I couldn't quite disguise the chaos as well as your people could, James"
I grabbed onto the ladder and began to slide down while keeping my middle finger just in discord's view until I was back at the bottom. Fuck that guy.
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6714265
When my dogs got fleas, I just vacuumed every day, gave them their medicine and eventually the problem went away.
6726265
yeah. it's finally over with. thank god
6727026
by the time we, me and my roommates, found out, it was too late
6763078 I'm worried it's already gone off the rails. If you want to see the story that inspired this, here's a link
6850017
That is still one of my favorite lines! Though you drawing porn of it... I'm not going to stop you nor encourage you to do it.
6891733 I will let you have your way for now, but..... THE TRUTH WILL BE KNOOOOOOOOOOWN!!!! Come on down to our dimension travelling store on Tuesdays and Thursdays. James plushies will be half off on before-mentioned days. If you have no knowledge on how to get to my store go to Twilight Sparkle for the spell to send you straight to my store.
6893418 That sounds brilliant. Is it the same store that discord goes to on Wednesdays?
6893471 yeah. He comes because of the chaos setting i added for customers who have no idea what they want. Basically it mixes my entire store up every time that they walk through. He says he likes the view. He also likes that I have everything you could ever want. I have literally everything, from every corner of the multiverse. I'm also expanding to go multi-multiversal.
6893491 That will be so useful for getting things from that one universe with living cheese.
6893493 not many know this but there are cows as deities in that universe. I collect milk and the living cheese from them. Thats where i get the milk that discord uses. Those explosions werent just chaos magic. Its one of the subproperties of the untreated milk
6893644 I'll take 20 gallons!
6894516 sure. Send $30 or approximately 45 bits(if thats what you are using) through the void in a letter with the name Hunterr's travelling bazaar and i will send your 20 gallons along with a complimentary package of 10 gallons each to the main characters in your stories. In fact, you get 5 free gallons for basically advertising my business, along with another 5 gallons for being a writer
6894562 That's a lot of exploding milk.
6894564 they have alot of cow deities to milk. They also really like rope for some reason. Which i have in plenty. I have far too much in fact.......... Want some rope?
6894799 Why not? I'll take the rope, exploding milk, and can you toss in drinkable glass?
6894808 hmmmmmmmmm. You drive a tough bargain but here you go. (Slices hole in the fabric of the universe with Gilgamesh's Naginata, and then proceeds to drop all of the aforementioned items through the hole, before sealing it back up) they should arrive at their various locations in a few minutes. There is a lot of traffic right now.
6894851 Holy crap! That was fast.
6894861 of course it was fast i can literally use anything that has ever been used for transportation, throughout the entire multiverse to get it to you. I never leave my customers hanging.
6894906 I'll take whatever delivered this then!
6894914 Gilgamesh's Naginata. Item first featured in the story "The Mighty Warrior of Epicness." Weapon has the ability to send you anyplace in the multiverse and is also used as a conduit for powers of individuals such as Gilgamesh himself. Though just a weapon with teleporting powers to powerless beings. Currently on sale for $100 dollars or 150 bits. But i like you so you can have it for free as long as you keep writing.
6895013 so I just have to do what I've been meaning to for the past 3 months?
6895026 yep, it would also help if you could put a word in about my store. Not as many customers as i sould like know about it. Sure most of the discords come and browse, but i want a more diverse clientele. Pinkie just scares me and rarely buyes anything, and then twilight wont stop bothering me about all of the different cultures i experienced. I had to put a lock on the door, which had to be specifically designed for her.
6895049 Do you want me to actually put that into the story, because that can easily be arranged.
6895055 well, i mean, if you want to. It was mostly a joke. But if it doesnt interfere with what you have planned then it would be pretty fun to see in there. Thanks.
6895072 Hey, I don't know what Discord does off screen...I don't think anyone does.
6895582 neither do i really. I hear him talking to himself about flying slimes, pony worms, and all sorts of other crazy stuff but i only know that he takes a really long time to shop. I think his longest time was 2 weeks and 5 hours. Exactly.
6895614 Jesus! What did he buy?
6897065 Some exploding milk, some exploding glass, some chaotic cannonballs (you never know what they'll be) 4 lightsabers, a UNSC Infinity, some spartan armor, a new and improved party cannon, his very own pocket dimension, a twicane, a magic school bus, a copy of the internet, a random soul, a servant of nurgle, a servant of khorne, a servant of tzeentch, a high school, Earth, around 189 thousand security cameras with wireless connectivity, a phone service,a nice winter coat, 10 alicorn amulets, a wizards wand, and a customized version of a paladins armor. He probably bought more but i forgot the rest. All in all it cost him 2 trillion dollars or 2.3 trillion bits.
6897094 How do you figure the dollar to bits conversion?
6897098 well to be honest, im just a little bit liberal with it. Its pretty much a 0.3 to 0.5 percent increase for transferring it into bits. But thats only because im selling them for a lot cheaper than they actually should be sold for. For instance the naginata should either have been your soul, or lifelong servitude, and thar was JUST the naginata. So i feel like the deals are very fair. Criticize if you want but i feel fair.
6897246 Oh...would that eternal servitude include free housing or snacks?
6898170 yeah it would but i have never given anyone that deal before so yeah, and i dont have the housing available. I would have to build it in advance
6898175 I mean eternal servitude can't be so bad...well depending on what that servitude entailed.
6898204 dont take that deal, ever, unless the fate of many lives are at stake.whoever you make the deal with can do whatever they want with you. They own your soul so even death wouldn't let you escape them. The things they can make you do are unspeakable, and most who offer that deal are usually very cruel. Like any of the chaos gods. Tzeentch, Nurgle, and Khorne to be specific.
6898243 I thought you were selling the thing to me. So far you've seen decent so I assumed you'd have me watching your store or something.
6898275 to be honest i can just use clones for that. I dont need indentured servants to look after my stuff. Plus, as i already said im giving you the item for free. I have a large amount of them and i dont get many requests for it.
6898551 um...how do you have so many?
6898555 the multiverse theory. I just go to a world where Gilgamesh has either lost his weapon, has been defeated and had it taken from him, or just go to one where he's given it up altogether. Then i just collect the weapon from there. Since there is basically infinite universes i have a lot of options to choose from.
6898563 Teach me how to got to other universes! Maybe if I see how thing happen in one of them I can finish my story!
6898571 well theres a couple of ways to do it. The easiest way is to have something that has a connection to that universe, or if you have been called to it. It effectively acts as a locator for wherever the universe is in the Vastness. The second is to know that the universe exists and to just focus on thoughts of that universe and to also focus on going there(though this is a bit harder and takes more practice). The third method is the dangerous one. You can simply open a hole through the fabric of your universe with the Naginata and enter the space between universes. It appears different for everyone. For instance, whenever i go there i see a massive library. But there are dangers such as eldritch abominations (though those are rare) but the main danger is just getting lost in the vastness. Use the naginata for all of these methods since it is what allows you to go to rip the hole in the first place, and you also need it to get back. But dont worry the Naginata is bound to your home dimension so if you want to go home just focus on it and you can rip a hole straight there, since it kinda attracts your Naginata. I dont know if i mentioned this but you can also use it to teleport anywhere in the dimension that you are currently in. Dont worry if it takes a while to learn how to use it properly it takes practice. Soon youll be popping in and out of universes (maybe your own stories) in no time at all. If i forglt to mention something then just tell me.
6898604 Sounds legit...also complicated.
6898613 pffft. Theres probably more ways but those are the three basic ones. Just count yourself lucky that you wont pop up on anyones radar by using the Naginata. If you were using something like a powerful spell a lot of people would come down on you. Hard. But since you are not you dont need the license that they would want you to have. The most observant would be these guys called the UIP. Pretty cruel at times, but they can also be your best friend. They absolutely despise slavers though. Theres a saying to it. "Those UIP bastards will walk up to a megalomaniac warlord who slaughters millions, shake his hand and ask them to lunch. But if you own one slave they will slowly and carefully turture you to death while making your family watch." They are VERY brutal. But they would never come after anyone using a small artifact like the Naginata.
6898642 I'm not sure whether to hate or like these guys.
6898650 you sound like most of their universe. They are pretty fucking terrifying, and then theres the ISA. They're secret service division. Black ops and all of that stuff. The nastiest sons of bitches ever seen. They take their job as killing like a fish to water, killing is in their blood. They love it, and they will kill whoever is in their way. They even developed a zombie plague for fun and used it in multiple worlds that had disagreements with the UIP, and i will not even go into the research division of the UIP. They have the blackest of magics. They found the secrets to let themselves feed on souls to use magic. Its pretty horrifying. Pray that the UIP doesnt choose to conquer our world. Because there would be nothing we could do to stop them. But they do treat their citizens very fairly so they have that going for them.
6898677 Okay now those guys I would dislike.
6898691 no one likes them. But no one will ever speak against the ISA because they WILL come after you and hunt you down along with all of your family and close friends, while recording it to show the other agents back at their bases. They know everything about everyone and are masters of fear.
P.S. the research found a way to take souls so even in death, there is no escape if they want to keep you with them for research or torture
6898721 isn't you talking about them in such a way painting a target on your back?
6898733 if they have found this universe then my words would either amuse them or they would just not care in general. Its not like im giving away big secrets, the ISA is well known for what i have told you. Plus they might just want some goods since i AM a merchant.
6898751 hmmm/ Then let's talk about something else before the mind police come along.
6898757 so is there anything else you want to know or do you need something else? I can deliver whatever you want to you as well as to your characters if you so desire.
6898765 Nope, it was nice chatting with you though.