Celestia gasped in pain, the intake of breath into her lungs stinging like needles in her chest. She blinked, the light unusually blinding and piercing. For a few moments, she was... confused. For one, she wasn't in her room in the Crystal Palace. Rather, she was in a dark... cell?
"Glad to see you finally awake, Celestia..." a voice hissed, distorted heavily from an unknown magic.
Celestia turned quickly, expecting to find somepony, but was unsuccessful. She attempted to speak, only to cough violently, a glob of congealed blood exploding from her maw as she hacked away the pain that burned her lungs. The princess' eyes watered horribly, the pain emanating from her barrel becoming unbearable at this point. But, as soon as the pain started, it stopped, leaving Celestia gasping for breath, the coppery taste of fresh blood still coating her tongue.
"W-Who are you?" Celestia shivered, the unnerving silence annoying and stressing her greatly. The room was empty, save for the four walls that enclosed her. They were made of stone brick, and were etched in symbols she did not recognize.
"Well... that is a question, isn't it?" the voice mocked. "You seem to always think that YOU get to ask the questions..."
"You've sat upon your throne of power for too long, Celestia..." the voice chuckled darkly.
The solar alicorn opened her mouth to retort, but was interrupted by another string of coughs, the burning, stabbing pain assaulting her lungs once more, blood speckling the otherwise clean floor with red. Again, the pain ceased, the mare falling to the floor with a 'thud'. She whimpered uncharacteristically, the pain unlike anything she had ever experienced before. She gasped, snarling with rage as she attempted to summon up her magic. With a stabbing sensation, she collapsed once more, a cry of agony flying from her lips.
The pain... nothing could describe the pain...
She had a headache now, too...
"Now... I'm going to ask some questions... you will answer them. Are... we... CLEAR?" the voice boomed, seemingly coming from every direction now. Celestia's head span like a top, both physically and mentally. This voice... whoever or WHATEVER it was, obviously had her in some sort of magical trap or psychosis, her body simply not responding to her command at most points. She would have growled in defiance, but it stopped that, to.
"Yes..." she whimpered, finally.
She had no other choice. She would play this... game.
"Good. Now we are getting along." the voice stated. "Now... the scenario is simple. Answer the questions. TRUTHFULLY. That is all that I ask. Once you are done, you are free to go..." the voice boomed, emotionlessly.
Celestia shivered, the room she sat in unimaginably cold all of a sudden. Her teeth chattered, before she responded.
"What happens if I don't answer truthfully?" she asked.
.........
"PAIN..."
.........
"Let us begin, shall we?"
"Did you know Shining Armor was to ascend to alicornhood. Yes or no will suffice..." the voice asked, unnaturally politely...
.........
"Yes."
.........
"Good. Did you know that he would ascend into lichdom as well?"
.........
"No..."
.........
"Did you send them to fight Sombra, aware of his ascent to this pedestal of necromancy?"
.........
"N..."
PAIN.
She screamed, the pain actually causing her to gag and wretch, her eyes watering horribly from the sensation. After what felt like an eternity of agony, the throbbing ceased, leaving the hardened mare sobbing upon the floor like a filly.
.........
"DON'T LIE TO ME." the voice boomed, quite obviously irritated with her ruse. She snorted, or attempted to, and sat back up, her barrel burning.
"Now, did you send SHINING ARMOR and PRINCESS CADENCE to fight Sombra, aware of his ascent to this pedestal of necromancy?!"
"YES!" she screeched, the pain coming back in echoing waves now...
"Good. Now, how did you know of his condition?"
.........
"L-Luna. She was... Sombra's lover. At one point..." she sobbed, the pain echoing away now, only to inevitably return later. "He... he wanted immortality. To be with her..."
.........
"Good girl. See how we get along when you tell me the truth?" the voice mocked, clearly enjoying this sadistic game.
.........
"Now... WHY did you not tell Shining Armor of his destiny?"
.........
"He... I..."
"CHOOSE YOUR WORDS CAREFULLY, PRINCESS..." the voice growled, the cell she resided rumbling with the volume and baritone.
.........
"I... I am not sure."
.........
Nothing.
.........
.........
.........
"Good." the voice said, simply. Calmly. It was appeased.
.........
"One more question, Celestia..."
.........
"Are you resentful for what suffering your 'games' cost him? What sorrow you bestowed upon Cadence?"
.........
.........
.........
.........
.........
"Yes."
.........
.........
.........
.........
.........
"Good."
.........
"Now, Celestia. You are given one question. Choose it wisely..."
Celestia thought hard on this one...
On one hoof, she would know the perpetrator responsible for assaulting and interrogating a monarch of Equestria, but on the other...
She would know who to fear...
Who to hide from...
.........
"Who are you?"
.........
"Heh... my name..."
"Well... I am known by many. The most pretentious would be the 'God of Death'. The most insulting would be the 'Jailor of the Damned'. The most accurate would be..."
.........
"The Lich King..."
.........
"Sleep tight, Celestia..."
.........
This chapter. It requires explanation. For many reasons.
I can/can't wait for the next chapter.
6746961 Shouldn't you know what happens since you are also apparently a lich?
Bleh I've tried to stick to this story, but the wham wham wham serious violence suddenly -insert name here- is dying and such and such needs some sacrifice to live chapters. Coming one after the other after the other without much breathing room is just meh to me. Feels like a cluster fuck...maybe it the fact the chapters are very small and so you HAVE to post a bunch of chapters like this in a row to get anything done really. Or maybe not...Idk
Not going to down vote since I enjoyed myself for a bit. But I am removing this from my favorites and no longer following it, I wish you luck with the story. And I hope your skill as a writer continues to improves the more you do this.
Actually having to answer truthfully and VERY close to fully, damn I bet that rankles something fierce. And I could care less.
i.imgur.com/lUIlU4l.gif
NOW
Well, isn't that interesting. Celestia is certainly getting her just deserts for her manipulativeness in this one, isn't she?
I have to say, though, that "pedestal" thing just sounds kind of weird. Not weird in a story sense, but weird in a "that word doesn't quite fit" sense. Maybe you should consider replacing that with something else? Aspect, maybe. Shining holds the aspect of Necromancy, Celestia holds the aspect of Sunlight. You could make it an alicorn thing. I think it sounds better than pedestal, at least. That just makes him sound like he's some kind of statue or something.
I also have no idea who Celestia is talking about when she talks about Luna's lover, because she certainly can't be talking about the actual Shiny. That just makes no sense in the timeline. I'm confused by that. It seems like you assume we would already know that, but I don't think it's actually ever stated anywhere.
6747168
The updating scheme makes a bit strange, but if you think of it as actually only being four or five chapters that are formatted somewhat weirdly, it flows a lot better. All that violence stuff would probably fit together somewhat more seamlessly (and look a lot less overbearing) if collated and thought of as being one single chapter.
I wait again.
is that Bolvar Fordragon???
6747060 well, no, see, I'm not a lich from warcraftverse, I'm a lich from masterwork dwarf fortress, so totally different rules.
And I'm easily confused.
6747885 It's the Lich King. Think about what Kel'Thuzad and Shining have been discussing in the chapters beforehand...
6748506 ......... Ohhhhh ok then
One question to ask, and I don't think "who are you" is the right one. I personally prefer "How do I keep you off my planet"
Honestly this is starting to become a clusterfuck. Space out some of the big stuff happening so that we get some kind explanation or way to absorb what the hell just happened last chapter. Seriously, give some kind of space to all of this. Too much is happening too fast that at least I (I assume other too) can't keep up and so many things are left unsaid and completely forgotten. Like wtf happened to the undead army? Among a bunch of other things. With all this happening in a row with nothing between you also aren't giving things to build up in a dramatic sense. Like with the whole past Lich Kings thing. You could have had it build up properly and made us more & more suspenseful till a big reveal. You kinda did that, but threw it off by throwing so many things at us that kinda got pushed aside losing that suspension. Also what about Celestia dealing with the fact that she freaking killed her sister and letting that play out before this new burden here was placed on her.
I like this a lot. Wouldn't bother with this whole wall of text if I didn't. So I hope what I have said wasn't too discouraging or sounding of malcontent. This is good, but you are leaving a bit too many frayed edges in the story.
6748908 I understand were you're coming from, and I realize that several of the past chapters were intense and full of WTF. I guess I just got a little carried away. Also, because the chapters are so short, it might seem a bit more overwhelming than a single large chapter. The next two chapters are extremely low key.
If everyone is in favor of longer, more solid chapters, I will be more than happy to adjust.
Regards,
The Crystal Lich
PS. Thank you for all of the comments and favs guys. I had literally ZERO expectations when it came to this story, being my first. So thank you for the support. The next chapter should hopefully be out by tomorrow night.
6749556
Just a bit. Don't want you to hurry past too because speeding through can help you miss a lot of opportunities for writing. Think of an open world game, you just rush through and you miss some cool stuff that would have been really helpful later.
6749556
Personally, I think it would help the story if you adjusted to about 2000 words per chapter or so. Right now, I really like the fast pace and the quick updates, but the brevity also makes them feel a bit choppy at times. There is only so much that can actually happen in less than thousand words on average, which makes more complex scenes and interactions a bit difficult. Half as many updates of twice the length would be a good compromise.
6748506
Interesting, the first name that came to my mind was Ner'zhul.
"The Lich King..." "Sleep tight Celestia..." Oh shit bro! Fucked her up!
6747516 Sombra was Luna's lover, not Shiny. He was driven to lichdom by the thought of losing her, but it kinda backfired...
Obviously...
Like you didn't deserve it.
Impressive! Most people forget that the Vrykul accepted the Lich King as their God of Death.
7296816 And the worship and reverence of the Lich King as a god was orchestrated by none other than the good Archlich himself...
But Arthas broke free of corruption right before he got blown up at the end of his stint as lichking. Who's this scrub?
8851657
Simple.
It’s the Lich King.
8851713
It probably is the manifestation of the Lich King, not the Lich King proper