The Crystal Vizier

by Lich-Lord Krosis

A Midnight Visit

"I'm sorry, what?" Kel'Thuzad asked, his eyes narrowing at his king's... rather bizarre request.

"Please, Kel?" Shining pleaded, his head and neck just barely sticking into his archmage's quarters, the murmuring of several other ponies behind the prince signifying they were not alone. "My dad is here on a documentation visit, and I kind of told him about your little... collection."

"What did you tell him about my little collection?" Kel'Thuzad asked, slightly peeved that his ruler and friend was such an idiot sometimes. Shining bit his bottom lip slightly, a look of guilt blanketing his muzzle.

"I miiight have told him that it was a vast collection of magical artifacts from another world..." Shining began, his gaze turning upwards to sheepishly stare at his archmage.

"And?" Kel'Thuzad inquired, seeing the second half of his ruler's request being withheld.

"I also miiight have told him he and his colleagues could... um... see them?" Shining asked, puppy dog eyes adorning his sockets.

Well, I see it runs in the family...

The lich sighed, grasping his enchanted door to open it just a bit further, peering out at the small group. As Shining had said, his father Night Light, as well as several other stallions were outside, all murmuring quietly to themselves.

"Alright, Shining." Kel'Thuzad relented, his posture straightening itself as he cracked his neck loudly. "Just... let me say a few things, first..."

"Of course, Kel." Shining nodded, opening the large door inwards, revealing the archlich to the small group of researchers. Night Light, having seen the undead mage before, walked forwards, eagerly shaking Kel'Thuzad's outstretched hand.

His colleagues, however...

They reacted differently.

The one on the right, a grey unicorn with a jet black mane, refused his handshake with a scoff, and eyed the lich warily from a distance.

The smaller one on the left, however, was not as courageous. The diminutive light blue earth pony bowed low, shaking like a leaf.

Well... at least I won't have trouble from him...

"Good evening, archmage!" Night Light jovially greeted, his forehoof excitedly shaking the lich's claw up and down. Kel'Thuzad chuckled, returning the gesture with equal enthusiasm. As much as he preferred his true form to a false one, the well... 'unfriendly' sight of his skeletal appearance sent many ponies packing.

But not Lord Night Light. He was oddly... friendly with him. Even more so, it seemed, because of what he was. Regardless, it was nice to see racism was not engraved into the brain of every citizen of Equestria.

"A good evening indeed, Lord Light. To what do I owe the pleasure of your company tonight?" Kel'Thuzad spoke, his years of sweet talking and manipulation admittedly making exchanges like this... easier, to say the least...

"Well, as you know, the last time we spoke, I told you I was her majesty's..." Night Light began, only to be rudely cut off by the grayish unicorn behind him, the stallion rudely butting his way into the conversation, and group by pushing past his colleague, attempting to pass the lich by, and enter the room.

.........

Kel'Thuzad's temper flared, his every magically constructed MOLECULE screaming to rip the insolent whelp's skin from his body.

NO!

No...

Calm, Kel.

Calm.

"Might I ask where you think you are going?" Kel'Thuzad inquired to the darkly colored stallion, a sheet of ice blocking his advances towards the door. The stallion scoffed, his mane billowing around his head as he turned to regard the archlich.

"I came here at my colleague's insistence, archmage." the unicorn snorted. "I refuse to see why we can't come inside. Unless of course you have something to hide?"

Kel'Thuzad's mind roared with rage. Who the hell did he think he was?!

This is one of the things he hated about nobles. Always thinking themselves better than others. Kel'Thuzad's rage subsided momentarily, and his anger free sight allowed him to notice the small badge on the stallion's dress coat.

The Imperial Mage's Guild...

Kel'Thuzad sneered, his skull masking the facial gesture behind a smirk.

Ahh... these buffoons...

I was beginning to wonder when they would send the next 'researcher'...

"Not at all, Lord..." Kel'Thuzad inquired, his claws crossing over his ribcage.

"Count Onyx." the unicorn huffed, his agitation out if not getting a significant rise out of the undead magus more than noticeable.

With a symbol of utmost, yet mostly hollow respect, the Archlich bowed low before the noble, the equine's ego obviously appreciating the subordination as his muzzle adopted a smirk instead of a scowl.

For gods sake, Kel. Just marry him already...

Kel'Thuzad's poise in his rise to full height after the bow was interrupted rather rudely by his... ugh...

'Companion'...

Nightmare, for your own sake I suggest you shut it. I have more important matters to attend to.

Aww... you're no fun...

Like it or not, it was... refreshing to have an assistant and confidant at his disposal once again.

Even if he would never forgive himself for his brother's death and enslavement, he missed the sometimes mindless banter something with a mind of it's own can provide.

"Now, I suppose that you would like to see my collection then?" Kel'Thuzad smirked, Night Light and his more diminutive companion nodding eagerly. Count Onyx seemed to be... less than interested.

"Well, please come in, then." Kel'Thuzad invited, his barrier melting into nothingness as the equines approached. Almost immediately, the stallions stopped in their tracks, the small army of skeletal workers, assistants and guards turning their blue eyes toward them, passively acknowledging their presence for a mere moment before carrying on their duties.

"Archmage, I don't mean to be rude, but isn't... erm... necromancy illegal?" Night Light spoke slowly, his form slightly shaking as he turned to view the lich. Kel'Thuzad nodded, a low chuckle emanating from his nonexistent throat.

"That is correct, Lord Night Light. However, when you read the fine print, your son is actually the final word on the matter for every individual." Kel'Thuzad turned as his king shut the door behind them, a nod of acknowledgement following his gaze. "Seeing as a large portion of my life and all of my unlife was spent studying and perfecting the art of necromancy... I can say without a doubt that I am the most knowledgeable mind on the subject you will ever meet."

Night light nodded, a gulp accompanying the turning of his head to the extensive wall of wondrous artifacts, the two colossal guards on either side still eyeing the intruders warily. Kel'Thuzad, obviously unfazed, floated slowly towards the wall, waving a single claw once.

"Leave us." Kel'Thuzad spoke, the two massive earth pony skeletons bowing stiffly almost instantaneously before collecting their spears and lumbering away. Satisfied with the now expansive space, his guests moved into the void that the gargantuan constructs left, eager to see the collection in full.

"Lord Kel'Thuzad, I don't mean to pry, but where exactly did you find... well, all of these skeletons?" Night Light spoke, his flank gently lowering onto a set of pillows his son had just retrieved for the group. Kel'Thuzad turned to his king, whose nod gave him permission to tell the truth.

"Well... the majority of the skeletons here are of Equestrian death row prisoners. They are... extracted from graveyards in Canterlot, Fillydelphia, and Manehattan, before being discretely sent to the Crystal Capitol for reinforcement and resurrection." Night Light's muzzle softened slightly at that, his gentle smile returning.

Count Onyx, on the other hand, was far from calm.

"What gives you the right to dictate what is done to our kin's bodies after death, necromancer?" he spat, one hoof brushing his mane out of his face. "While their actions may have cost them their lives while they were amongst the living, they have an expectation of respect after their punishment has been carried out."

Once again, Kel'Thuzad was a breath away from removing this pompous noble's head from his shoulders, frozen in a silent scream. Instead, after his anger dissipated, he chose the logical route.

"Well, Count Onyx. I don't suppose you have another, less controversial source of bodies, do you?" Kel'Thuzad slowly inquired, his skull lowering to the unicorn's level to breathe frosted air into his face. The noble scoffed in revulsion, turning his attention to the prince behind him, a silent plea for help accompanying his gaze.

Shining stood stock-still, a single eyebrow raised at Count Onyx's behavior.

"I thought not. As a necromancer, I know better than anyone what the afterlife dictates." he lied through his teeth.

As often as he worked with body and soul, he knew little to none what happened to a soul after it left this world. While he was once a believer in the Holy Light, he quickly found that religion, while comforting to some, was not his forte.

He preferred logic.

Reasoning.

He despised variables and holes in theories, and the Holy Light left a lot. Hell, if he were to revisit religion, and was still into sacrificing innocents, he would more likely worship an Old God!

Those, he knew, were VERY real...

But, he had a noble to educate, so he cut his thinking for the time being...

"Count Onyx, how long on average does a pony corpse take to rot?" Kel'Thuzad asked, his hands grasping themselves in front of him, the brow of one eye socket raised in the unicorn's direction. Count Onyx stuttered for a moment, before clearing his throat. He was obviously caught off guard by the lich's question, and was quickly attempting to survey his mind for an answer to said question.

"Umm... several years, perhaps?"

"Incorrect." Kel'Thuzad's attention turned to his king, whom he prayed was paying attention to his brief lessons on necromancy the two had shared.

"Shining?"

At the mage's words, the alicorn snapped back to reality, his gaze shooting from the corner of the room, were the Helm of Domination still floated in it's many wards.

"Umm... It takes... eight to twelve years." Shining successfully remembered...

Well, half of the answer anyway...

"Kel'Thuzad, wouldn't those variables vary drastically depending on biome, weather, and temperature?"

Kel'Thuzad turned, the voice of the diminutive Earth Pony next to Night Light finally gracing them. Kel'Thuzad smirked, a subtle nod moving his skull.

"VERY good..." Kel'Thuzad praised, his hands clasping together in front of his ribcage. "Now, I hate to assume, but you are probably a doctor, or biologist, correct?"

The light blue pony nodded lightly, his fear returning somewhat as he extended a single, shaky hoof.

"Sturdy Splint, at your service." he nearly whimpered, his fur standing on end as the frigid claw of the lich wrapped his hoof in bone. "Forgive me for asking, but... how do you keep your bones so... clean? A corpse's bones, while certainly the last thing to decompose, weaken over time, surely if what my colleague has told me is true, you would have had to replace your entire skeleton by now!"

.........

"Very good question, mister Sturdy..." Kel'Thuzad chuckled.

"Let me show you."

With little flair or extravagance, the Archlich grasped his upper left arm in his right claw, and snapped it with a loud *crack*.

Everyone except Shining turned to look at the mage with disbelief, the prince's attention once again stolen by the incessant whispering of the Helm of Domination.

"Now, come closer, please." Kel'Thuzad beaconed, his right hand keeping his arm from falling completely off. With great interest, Sturdy Splint and Night Light gathered in closer to the undead wizard. With a grunt of exertion, the lich's fractured arm laid itself down upon the table next to him, sparks of arcane power still leaping from his wound.

"Now can you tell me why I don't have to?" Kel'Thuzad asked the two stallions, his gaze more of a teacher's than a predator's now.

"These... these aren't bones, are they?" Sturdy Splint asked, his muzzle slightly agape from the lack of pain the lich was currently feeling.

Or showing.

"No, mister Sturdy, they aren't. In fact, the only real, material objects on my body are my ornaments, my robes, and my spellblade. Every single part of my physical being is made up of arcane energy." Kel'Thuzad explained, his hand removing itself from his fractured arm to show the complex net of arcane threads and runes laced across the inside of his upper arm.

"Fascinating..." Night Light spoke, a single piece of parchment and a quill emerging from his saddlebag. Kel'Thuzad chuckled, holding up a hand as if to stop the stallion.

"Lord Night Light, if you are this interested in my magical make up, I may write up all that I know for you if you wish..." Kel'Thuzad proposed, his intact arm raising into a pointed finger, directed at a skeletal Pegasus behind him. "Minion, bring me an inkwell, a quill, and four pieces of parchment."

Without a stutter, the equine bowed, his wings splaying out to his sides as a sign of subservience. With clacking, unnatural noises of bone on cobblestone, he went to retrieve his master's requests.

"Why must you address them so... rudely?" Count Onyx whined, his form scrunching further up at the willingness of the skeletal servant. Kel'Thuzad sighed, his chains displaying his agitation by whirling slightly faster around his form.

"I address them rudely because they don't have emotions." Kel'Thuzad muttered, retrieving a small iron-bristle brush from his work table several feet away. Another wave of his hand, and a small jar of salt water was at his side.

"Just because they don't have emotions doesn't mean that they weren't once ponies, necromancer!" Onyx lashed out, his anger boiling over at the appearant abuse of his former countrymen's remains.

Kel'Thuzad sneered.

"Correct, Count Onyx. They were once ponies. But they now lack the higher cognitive function to even speak. The average pony corpse, if not cremated, spends nearly eight and a half years rotting away in a small wooden coffin, six feet under the ground!" Kel'Thuzad roared, his own anger breaking through. "What use is the skeleton after the flesh has fertilized the soil?! Bones can take hundreds of years to decompose, Onyx. Thousands if the biome is dry enough!"

"But that doesn't change the fact..." Count Onyx attempted to interject, but was swiftly cut off by a single frozen chain slamming down upon the unnocupied chair next to him, shattering the wooden furniture with ease.

"That what?!" the archlich roared, his anger at this sniveling worm's medial concerns skyrocketing. "That they were once ponies?! Well, they aren't anymore! They are the hollow remains of prisoners long dead! They don't even have souls, Onyx!"

Count Onyx watched on, seemingly unfazed as his anger slowly simmered higher.

"They are constructs, fool!" Kel'Thuzad mocked. "They are expendable..."

With a flick of his attached hand, a nearby skeleton was before him, floating him a sea of frost.

"Lifeless..."

With a slowly tightening grip, the lich slowly crushed the construct down to dust, the skeleton not caring in the least.

"Tools..." Kel'Thuzad finished, releasing his grip to let the fresh mound of bone meal fall to the ground, faint wisps of frost still seeping from the pile. With a grunt of satisfaction, the lich turned back to his desk, and the severed magical arm upon it.

Without another word in the subject, he dove back into his procedure once more, dabbing the iron brush in he salt water, before running it across the stump of his left arm. Night Light and Sturdy Splint both watched on as the mixture of iron and salt water activated the runes and spells weaved throught the bone, and slowly, but ever so surely, the bone melded to it's counterpart, which the lich had moved into position.

"Why a iron brush, archmage?" Sturdy Splint inquired, his vision captivated by the small display of bone remaking itself anew. Kel'Thuzad chuckled, sliding the jar of salt water over to the two unicorns.

"Because iron and salt water are the closest to blood."

.........

"W-what?" Night Light shivered, his gaze moving to look upon the lich's visage.

"When my former master remade me into... well... this..." Kel'Thuzad gestured to his skeletal appearance. "The process required blood to shape and form my body. Since blood is not readily, or ethically available... I've had to improvise to repair myself..."

"If you are done with your little 'lesson'..." Onyx huffed "I'd very much like to we these 'precious' artifacts you've collected..."

Alright Kel. ONE minute.

Thank you, Shining. It will be over in half that...

With a subtle whip of his hand, the Archlich's victim was suspended behind him by his hind legs, his head several feet above the ground. Another mutter of incantations, and his pitiful attempt at a counterspell was snuffed out like a dying candle.

Before Night Light and his assistant were even aware of what was going on, the massive skeletons were once again upon them. With surprisingly gentle force, they pushed the two other stallions away from their quarry, their spear tips leveled at the exposed throat of the dangling equine.

"You know, Count Onyx, you are the second disrespectful pup I've had to put in their place this week..." Kel'Thuzad chuckled darkly, his two chains wrenching the stallion higher, a single ivory claw unfurling to draw a line down his soft throat.

"U-unhand me this instant!" Count Onyx yelped, the severity of the situation finally reaching his stunned brain. Admirably, he was performing better under the lich's terror-inducing intimidation than most had in this world.

"Shining! Do something!" Night Light whispered quite loudly at his son, the alicorn turning to his father.

"Don't worry dad. He won't hurt him..."

He wouldn't DARE...

Shining shook his head, the echoing voice thrumming through his skull, his father shaking him lightly to once again gain his attention.

"I... I have contacts in the Crystal Court, monster!" Count Onyx halfheartedly threatened. "Y-you'll be sorry for this!"

At that, the archlich let out a sinister chuckle, snapping his fingers to move the spears of his guards closer to the stallion's neck.

"Nothing you do to me can possibly compare to what suffering I can inflict upon you..." Kel'Thuzad spoke, wrenching the stallion's muzzle ever closer to his face as he did. "I can't breathe, sleep, eat, drink, or die..."

"It is wise not to insult one who has nothing to lose..."

Kel, enough.

With a dark chuckle, the lich let the stallion down. With a clattering series of bones rattling together, the guards once again moved off, as if there was never a security threat at all.

"Now... If we are done with the interuptions, shall we?" Kel'Thuzad invited, floating towards his wall of trophies, the stallions in tow.

Comments

[SeventhBrony]

UPDATE and yet once again we are shown PRIME examples of WHY if I were to ever be placed in charge of a monarchy, the “Nobles” would be sorted and those that didn’t make the cut would be cleansed

[Kosmosu]

"It is wise not to insult one who has nothing to lose..."

Truer words have never been spoken.

Man it has been a while with this fic. Really hoping to see more.

[coduss]

lol, bet that poor bastard pissed himself

[WanderingPony]

That's a fascinating bit of sympathy Kel'Thuzad's got going on there with the iron and saltwater. I'd have never thought of it myself.

[LucidDreamer]

I am laughing at this stallion’s misfortune. And I don’t care one bit because KT is awesome.

[Sound Wave]

*Shivers* Ooh~~ Kel~ You bad ass mutha~

[Kossio]

Yes, you are back, good