Chapter 1
A/N: this work is presented to you by Altoid, TotallyNotaBrony, and me.
Chapter 1
“Hey Twilight,” Valiant called as he peered out of the library window. “You know what usually shouldn't happen in a night sky?”
There was no reply, Twilight was probably ignoring him. So he talked louder.
“When the sky starts spinning around and balls of light fall is that a natural phenomenon here in Equestria, or what?”
There was the sound of hooves on the upstairs floor and a purple unicorn peered into the room. “What are you talking about?” she asked.
Valiant gestured to the window. “You’re the egghead. Take a look.”
Twilight walked over to where the orange earth pony stood. “That’s...strange,” she said, looking outside.
“So it isn’t normal that the sky has a hole in it?” Valiant noticed a strange vortex that loomed over the town hall. “It kind of reminds me of the the movie Independence Day.”
The mare gave him a blank look. Valiant was not a very good roommate. He slept late, rarely cleaned, and was always making references to things that only he seemed to understand.
“Sounds like another one of those democracy things that you love so much.” Twilight said flatly, still watching the sky.
Valiant hungered for a closer look. He opened the library door and stepped into the strong wind caused by the weird disturbance in the sky. His black mane was blown backwards.
“Do you think that is a good idea?” Twilight called after him.
“Do you think I’m someone who cares for good ideas?” he retorted.
Twilight watched him work his way towards the town center, fighting the wind. Against her better judgement, she decided to follow him. But before she left, she decided to take along a book about weather phenomenon.
By the time the two of them got there, a crowd of ponies had already gathered in front of the town hall and were watching the maelstrom grow.
“I don’t like this,” Twilight muttered to herself.
“What do you think would happen if I fired a projectile into it using Pinkie’s cannon?” Valiant asked, his full attention on the sky.
“Please don’t,” the unicorn begged.
Valiant ignored her and scoured the crowd of ponies and found the one he was looking for.
“Hey Pinkie!” he yelled.
The pink earth pony bounced up to him, seemingly unaffected by the wind.
“Yes Valiant?” She asked excitedly.
“Can you get your cannon for me?” He replied. “The one that I improved.”
“Okie dokie lokie!” She zipped off and soon returned with the cannon that Valiant had named Party Cannon Mark II.
“Have you tested this thing yet?” demanded Twilight.
Valiant shrugged. “Shoot first, ask questions later. It’s the American way.”
Twilight sighed. Valiant had been this way ever since she’d met him. Some ponies would even go so far as to say he had a few screws loose.
Valiant looked around for anything that could be used as ammunition and noticed the book Twilight had brought with her. He snatched it from her magical grasp and loaded it into cannon.
“Hey! Don’t-” Twilight protested but was cut short by a thunderous boom as her book was sent flying into the cloudy maw.
The other ponies momentarily turned their attention to Valiant as he looked expectantly at the clouds. Suddenly, another explosion echoed a response to the cannon blast.
Everypony turned their attention back to the sky just in time to see something fall out of the vortex and crash through the town hall roof. The clouds instantly started to clear but Valiant wasn’t interested in that. He hurried towards the rubble of the building.
Twilight watched him go, all the while hoping that whatever fell from the sky wouldn't hurt somepony. Or at least wouldn't hurt somepony other than Valiant.
The orange stallion pushed the debris aside and discovered Twilight’s book. He looked at it, momentarily depressed that the object he had seen falling was nothing more than the item he sent up in the first place. Then he noticed something move out of the corner of his eye.
A sunny yellow unicorn stallion with a multicolored mane was slowly crawling out of a crater in the floor. He looked surprisingly good for a non-pegasus who had just fallen from the sky.
The unicorn looked around blearily. “It seems the experiment was successful.”
Valiant stared open mouthed at the seemingly unharmed pony.
“Let’s try that again and see if we get the same results,” the unicorn said to himself.
“Whoa, dude, just take a step back and un-science yourself.” Valiant walked over to the other pony.
“Who dares tell me to un-science myself?!” demanded the unicorn. “I am a mad scientist, not some hack job wannabe.”
“I’m Valiant,” said the orange pony. “Mad scientist? I’m cool with that.”
“Well, now that I look around, this doesn’t appear to be the lab I started out in,” the unicorn said, seeming to notice that there was a damaged building around him. Taking a moment to think of a alias for himself, he decided the name of the project would do. You never know when there might be a CIA agent looking over your shoulder trying to steal your ideas.
“You can call me Nova.” he stated plainly. “I am very ‘unique’ scientist, as you can probably tell right now.”
Valiant glanced at the yellow pony’s cutie mark. “I suppose so. What’s that symbol stand for?”
Nova took a moment to look where Valiant pointed, noticing the picture on his posterior. “That, my good man, is the symbol for the Nova project, which probably has too much sciencey lingo for you to understand it fully.”
Valiant gritted his teeth. He didn’t like being insulted one bit, but was also aware that any pony who appeared suddenly and spouted nonsense was a special case. You might say that he had experience with that.
A sudden thought occurred to the earth pony. “Wait, what did you call me?”
Nova facehoofed. “Oh, you don’t know what a man is, do you?”
“No, I do,” insisted Valiant. “Why do you?”
“Well apparently you didn’t see the hole that I came through in the sky.” Nova shrugged. “It was kind of obvious along with the damage to the building we’re in.”
“So you’re from Earth?” asked Valiant.
“Yes, I’m quite sure I am, how would you know that, though?” asked the unicorn curiously.
Valiant grinned. “Come on. There’s someone I want you to meet. We can troll her together.”
Outside, Twilight spotted the orange pony leaving the damaged building with another stallion in tow.
“What happened?” asked the mare.
Valiant shrugged. “I have no idea, but this guy will explain it to you.”
“I’ll try and put it in easy terms for everybody, because the full explanation would make your head implode,” said the yellow pony. He took a deep breath. “That big portal in the sky you just saw was what we call a ‘wormhole’ I used it to get from my lab to this... place.”
“That’s the simple version?” said Rainbow Dash, who had just arrived. The multicolored pegasus gestured to the roof of the building. “There’s more damage here than when Derpy tried to help out! And you say worms caused it?”
“A ‘wormhole’ is not made by worms, it is a hole through space, and sometimes dimensions, and the reason I am unharmed is easier to show than it is to explain.” Pointing to Rainbow Dash, Nova said, “Hit me with your best shot.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Twilight, looking at Rainbow.
“But he asked me to!” the pegasus pointed out.
“And when someone quotes Pat Benatar, you know they’re serious,” added Valiant.
“Just trust me, I’ll be fine, although can’t say as much for her.” Nova said.
With her mind made up, Rainbow Dash charged Nova. Nopony expected what happened next. Rainbow Dash was deflected backwards into a nearby house, slamming it with enough force that all the ponies gathered around heard the thud of her impact.
“I’m okay!” She stated afterwards and promptly fell on her face.
“Now you see what I meant.” Nova said waving a hoof in a dismissive manner.
Twilight’s jaw dropped. This was magic like she’d never seen before. Even more confusing, it didn’t seem to be coming from the yellow pony’s horn, but from a small device that was fastened to his front leg above the hoof.
“Bro, you are my best friend,” said Valiant, hanging a hoof around Nova’s neck. “I can just see us now, hanging out, making fun of Rainbow, and having adventures and stuff.”
Nova moved out of the other pony’s reach. “I think not.”
“But...but...” Valiant stuttered. “We’re both people on the inside! Doesn’t that count for something?”
“Wait, what?” said Twilight.
Nova nodded. “That’s right. I’m from another dimension.”
“There’s TWO of you?” shrieked the purple unicorn.
“I am not Valiant, I am Nova,” explained the yellow pony. “We are not as similar as we look.”
“I think she got that,” said Valiant, “I’ve just been telling her tales of Earth for a while now. She’s just a little shocked that someone finally came along and corroborated my story.”
“Well, now that we have all that in order, I must request resources,” said Nova. “I need them to resume my studies in science.”
“Good luck with that,” laughed Valiant. “It was hard enough trying to get things to build robots.”
Nova narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean by that?”
“Just what I said,” explained Valiant. “Of course, the ponies don’t have a whole lot of sophisticated electronics so I had to make do with steam power.”
“That’s a sad excuse for robotic technology,” said Nova. “I could make far more efficient designs even with the antiquated items I have on hand.”
Valiant got in his face. “Oh yeah?”
“Yes, I could, all I need is materials,” said Nova confidently.
Twilight looked at the two of them, clearly seeing conflict building. She had no idea what the new pony was capable of, but saw the look in Valiant’s eyes that told her trouble was brewing.
A young filly suddenly ran up, breaking the mood. “There’s a pony drowning in the lake!”
“Be right back,” said Valiant. “Got to save the day.”
“I’ll come with you,” said Twilight worriedly.
“If the pony dies, can I have the corpse?” asked Nova.
Valiant rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, mad scientist.”
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▲ ▲
There was already a small crowd of ponies gathering at the edge of the lake when they arrived a few minutes later.
“Oh look,” Valiant huffed, staring at a dark blue pony floating unconscious on the water. “Everyone is too lazy to save him themselves. How did he get out there in the first place?”
“Stand aside and let a scientist handle this,” Nova stated, walking towards the water. Everypony’s eyes opened wide when he stepped on the surface of the lake as easily as if it were a solid surface.
“Oh my God,” muttered Valiant quietly. “I am going to kill him and steal his stuff. Assuming he isn’t really pony Jesus.”
“I heard that Valiant,” Nova yelled, picking up the unconscious pony in the lake and beginning his trek back to dry land. “And Jesus was nothing more than an exaggerated story.”
“You take that back, godless communist!” shouted Valiant, splashing out into the lake.
“I need no god, I am SCIENCE!” exclaimed the unicorn. “And I have just proven that Jesus is little more than a fraud.”
“You didn't prove anything other than the fact that I like you a lot less now!” roared Valiant, charging at Nova.
The yellow pony deftly stepped aside, and trod on Valiant’s head as the earth pony fell into deeper water. Twilight realized that the unconscious pony wouldn’t be helped anytime soon as the two of them fought, so she decided to save him herself.
The motionless blue pony lay on the beach where Nova had dropped him. His soaked red mane lay limply. Twilight discovered that he wasn’t breathing. Panicking, she quickly used her magic to turn him over and try to get the water out of his lungs. She tapped a hoof on his back, hoping it would help.
“Come down here and let me strangle you like a man!” shouted Valiant in the background.
“I’m good, fighting you would be a waste of resources.” replied Nova.
Twilight had managed to get water to dribble from stricken pony’s mouth, but he remained unresponsive. She had to get him breathing. Tipping his head back, she placed her mouth on his and blew air into his lungs.
The blue pony’s eyes snapped open and his all muscles went tense, including his wings. He coughed up the remaining water in his lungs as Twilight released him. His eyes grew wide as he looked at her face and then turned to see the two ponies fighting in the lake.
He turned back at Twilight. “The hell is this?”
“You’re welcome!” she said, smiling.
The pegasus just stared at her blankly. “Are you going to thank me?” she asked, slightly upset over his lack of gratitude.
“I have never been in a dream where I had CPR done to me by a horse thingy.” He muttered to himself, not paying attention to the purple unicorn.
Twilight’s smile disappeared completely at the mention of him being in a dream. Please Celestia, not another one! she prayed.
The sound of the two ponies fighting in the lake attracted the pegasus’ attention. “This is,” he paused to think of an appropriate word, “different, to say the least.”
Nova wandered over to the shore, nonchalantly fending off Valiant’s attacks.
“Is that a force field you’ve got?” asked the blue pony in wonder.
“Oh this?” said Nova. “It’s a KERF.”
“You mean a Kinetic Energy Reflective Field?” said the pegasus. “Don’t those need a lot of power? I remember reading about them in Popular Mechanics magazine.”
“Oh please,” said Nova. “Only under-developed minds read that rag.”
“So my dream is making fun of me now?” asked the insulted pony.
Valiant gasped for breath as he hauled himself out of the lake “Sucks, doesn’t it? It gets worse when you find out it’s not a dream, dude.”
“Yeah right,” the pegasus laughed, “and I am Luke Skywalker from Tatooine.”
Valiant grabbed the blue pony by the neck and dragged him towards where Nova stood smugly.
“Going to try attacking me again?” asked the yellow pony, sounding bored.
“Hey, what are you doing? I will not stand to be manhandled in my own-” The pegasus’ voice was cut off as Valiant bucked him towards Nova.
By a strange coincidence, it was at that moment that Nova’s KERF ran out of battery power. The two ponies collided and fell in a heap.
“I can’t believe that worked,” said Valiant happily.
“What just happened?” asked Twilight.
“No idea, but I bet it would make an awesome action movie,” said Valiant, shrugging. The two victims of the battle sat up and looked around, dazed.
“This is not good,” the pegasus started to panic. “One second I am walking down a road drinking my third energy drink of the day when my chest started hurting and I passed out! Am I dead? Is this Heaven or Hell? You kick me again and I will kill you!”
“You probably just had a caffeine-induced heart attack,” said Nova. “A minor problem compared to my own.”
“A minor problem? A minor problem! Does this look like a minor problem to you?” demanded the blue pony.
“Yes,” said Nova, plainly.
“Then I hope you have a heart attack too. Preferably one that causes you to scream in pain while I listen!” The pegasus crossed his hooves in front of him, an angry look on his face.
Valiant grinned at Twilight. “I like where this is going.”
“And you!” the pegasus continued, glaring at Valiant. “You kicked me! Nobody kicks me, or assaults my person without consequences!”
“The consequences have already happened,” Valiant told him. “You had a sudden realization. Aren’t you glad you know the awful truth of your situation? Oh, by the way, that’s a cute harp you’ve got on your flank.”
“A what on my what?” asked the pegasus, looking at his hip. “I always thought it would be interesting to get a tattoo, but not one on my ass! It looks like a Celtic Harp, maybe it isn’t all that bad.”
“It reminds me of the logo on a bottle of beer,” remarked Valiant. “From here on I am calling you Guiness!”
“What? No! Call me Highlander, Claymore, Dublin or something epic like that.” The pegasus sighed. “Fine, call me Guinness. Am I dead and in some childish afterlife?”
“Nah, man, just a different dimension,” said Valiant.
“I don’t believe this,” muttered Twilight.
“Another dimension?” The blue pony’s mood suddenly changed to curiosity. “Like string theory and all that?”
“String theory is a hypothesis formed by uneducated scientists who don't understand the true nature of the multiverse.” Nova put in arrogantly.
“Everypony settle down,” said Twilight. The arguing ponies showed no sign that they noticed her.
“I have firsthand experience with the freaking multiverse,” said Valiant.
“You don’t have hands,” pointed out Guinness.
“Screw you,” said the orange pony.
“I am starting to get annoyed with your primitive reactions,” warned Nova.
“Stop it, all of you” said Twilight, trying to break in.
“And what are you going to do about it now that your batteries are dead?” Valiant asked Nova.
“At least I have a functioning brain!” the yellow pony shot back.
“What did I do to get myself into this mess?” wondered Guinness. “Lord, please forgive me for whatever sin I committed to cause this to happen!”
“Stop praying to your nonexistent god,” Nova groaned.
“That is it,” Guinnes shot to his hooves. “I am going to kill you!”
“Quiet!” shouted Twilight, a burst of magic amplifying her voice. The three stallions stopped their bickering and stared at her.
“All of you have problems,” said Twilight. “Fighting isn’t going to solve them.” The other ponies attempted to argue that point, but she cut them off.
“Now it’s clear that something out of the ordinary is going on here,” said the purple mare. “I’m going to write a letter to Princess Celestia for advice. Maybe she can sort this out.”
Valiant rolled his eyes. “Twilight, just when I thought you couldn’t do anything more stupid... wait, that’s actually a pretty good idea.”
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Dimension - Wolfmother
This gon' be good.
This ought to be silly.
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw4673_small.jpg
I don't usually check stories from the front page, but this one caught my attention. Not bad, I'm watching this.
Er, we should have edited this a little more. A few paragraphs have an extra indent. The first time "Guinness" is mentioned, it's misspelled.
BRILLIANT!!!
oh this is hilarious
omg Guiness oh this is perfect cant wait for the next chapter 
Oooh yeah, definitely going to enjoy this one.
I like ponies
Dear god. If Equestria wasn't doomed before, it is now!
Guinness! I love it!
Lovin this shit
This was just as funny as I was expecting. Which is to say, hilarious.
I'm glad that younall liked this, we'll get to work as soon as possible on the next chapter.
That may be a while though, atleast for me, I am 'off the grid' so to speak. I'm going to hold on fixing anything that's wrong here and there until I can get my computer online. I only have so much data available and somewhere around 10 days left before it resets to 0
That and my phone's screen is only a little more than 4" so kind of hard to read everything let alone edit it.
Oh boy...
Equestria is doomed. I'll get the popcorn.
648175 I'll bring the soda!
A genious douchebag and two religiously insane assholes.
652497
And proud of it.
“I need no god, I am SCIENCE!”
BEST.LINE.EVAR.
652497 You spelled genius wrong. Sorry I just had to correct you.
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/199/693/disgusted-mother-of-god.png?1321272571
Its the f**King triforce!
Wisdom = Science (since science is knowledge)
Power = Steam (steam can generate power)
Courage = Beer (because beer gives you courage)
....wait.....
so following this logic these are out main characters
a0.img.mobypicture.com/6060414192a70e86cba2af96aa23252c_view.jpg
As Courage (Link)
th05.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/075/5/c/my_steampunk_pony__cyborg_by_steampoweredstallion-d4ss0b6.png
As Power (Ganon)
And
chzbronies.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-brony-watch-out-we-gotta-total-egghead-over-here.png
As Wisdom (Zelda)
bp1.blogger.com/_iIgGzjVNEAk/SEXYknRkpdI/AAAAAAAAAng/84e-lYcQiiA/s400/yep%252Bwere%252Bscrewed.gif
*by the way no I haven't read the story yet but I just had to comment about that picture*
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I can triforce too! Right guys!? Am i doin it right?!!
Who the bloody hell is Valiant, and where is the fic in which he's introduced?
Oh dear, so much shenanigans will ensue.
Very intriguing.
1138084 I know this is probably too late, but he is from A Dream by TotallyNotABrony.