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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Dude nice chapter very emotional nvr xpected chris to be bisexual i give you 2 mustached spike
Although idk how to feel about this chapter, I still like the creative idea of an intervention. And I can't wait till the main Villian arrives (can't have a hero without a villian), I hope it's Alduin.
No you're turning him into a Mary Sue all that I hate myself bullcrap you better pull something out there because I am getting to the point where I don't want to read this now
oh my god i forgot about this completly it was a fun read but depressing
It...it's alive?
What?
I'm...wow...
You leave us high and dry for 6 months and you come back with this depressing stuff? This is a comedy!! (I still likes it though, hope to not wait as long in the future for more.) (GODDAMNIT SOMBRA STAY DEAD FOR ONCE!!)
Good god..... Its him!!
to quote George Takei, Ooooh myyy.....
a bisexual MC.......you've tempted us with it, will anything come from it though?
could It be Sombra?
6834853 captain chaos?!
What he isn't Dead!
Omg that was emotional stuff dude... I loved it.... And is... Is it him has the master of Shadows retuened
6998933
yeah, pretty much
This was Apocalyptic levels of cringe worthy Edginess, I got 3/4 the way through and just couldn't stand it any longer. Why do people think that to have an emotionally complex character you need to make them the most over the top, broken, edgy, cringe worthy person to ever grace the cosmos.
Literally everyone does this on Fim, I've only found a handful of people who actually wrote a half decent 'Deep' OC.
This is where I end the escapade of reading this story. It was rough in its descriptions and the writing style was choppy, but that is expected for most beginner stories. But THIS chapter has tipped the scales in my opinion of this story. The whole entire reason for his internal conflict and the intervention was good, but the backstory was what fucked everything all to tartaurus. It is too indecisive and contradictory to itself and often derails from the true message the MC is trying to convey about his past. The massive amounts of grammatical errors don't help the story's case at all. Finally, the reveal at the end of the story is the most cliché, bullshit excuse for villain introduction used by authors; the worst part being that it could have been worded better.
I know it takes a lot of effort to write all this plot for a story, but come on; this could have been so much better than this.
i can't go on with this story anymore.
I, honestly, could not read this whole chapter. I don't mean to the end, I mean the chapter as a whole.
That is, I just skimmed over it, and that's enough for me.
7838630 Me too
I NEED AN ADULT
That's a lotta birthday cakes
Wow.... this hits way too close to home for me.... aside from the parents this is a piece out of my book....
Well shit. I need a name for him now...
Zteldereen. That shall be his name, if I can remember it.
This was a emotional roller coaster.
Lets throw a yay he didnt kill himself yet party
Well... To be brutally honest, all of that sounded just like what every other teenager goes through, at some point. You try to figure yourself out, and you get burned - more often than not by yourself. You're thinking one thing, and the next moment - nope, that was just some passing thing. You feel like this is it, but it's never it. You think you can't be angrier, or sadder... but in a week, you've probed those depths even more. It's all new and hella confusing.
It makes sense. I mean, you're at that stage in your life when you're noticing new and exciting features your body has - your brain, primarily. Suddenly girls are cute instead of icky. Suddenly you get these flashing hot spots and want to sing your heart out, yet you're feeling depressed the very next day. It's just how it is - there are new things going on in response to hormones, things you haven't used before. Of course it'll be clumsy and awkward for the first few years...
So yeah, angsty and tragic story... that's actually neither terribly angsty, nor very tragic, to be honest. It's a stage you go through, and you hurt a lot of people (mostly with indecision, or stupid decisions) until you get a better grasp of what your body and mind are actually telling you. Getting on top of it all is this mythical thing called "growing up".
Of course, with him being 20, he still has some 5 years of growing up to do (the prefrontal cortex, responsible for things like restraint and planning, isn't fully matured until about 25). There are some parts of life you don't learn at all unless you actually do them (parenthood is a great example here; getting over social anxiety or break-ups is another), so many people don't learn them until much later in life.
All in all, I see no reason why he'd be moody and broody for six months because of all that, going as far as becoming an off-the-clock shut-in. I mean, on the one hand - sure, I suppose he still has some growing up to do... but at 20, you'd think he should have a fair idea of himself already, especially with all that experience.
I don't know... Maybe I no longer remember how it really was since I've left those years in the dust (so to speak), but it felt kinda weak as an explanation.