For the past millennium, the small and technologically-advanced Equestrian Empire has waged war against the old and corrupt Cleomanni Confederacy, employing weapons of terrifying might in their struggle. It has been three years since they lost.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Took me some time to get to reading this but at last I have completed this first chapter. Lots of setting-building interspersed with the character, a big plus.
Wut.
Hmm. It's been a while since I've read a good dark sci-fi themed fanfic, much less a MLP related one.
Can't really give any decent feedback unfortunately, just the usual many thanks for making a day or two great for me.
it's just a bit sad that various crap that in it's entirety isn't worthy compared with 2-3 senteces of this fic gets more recognition these days....
*sees tags*
GDI Korn! Clean up after yourself when you invade other universes!
Well, you certainly aren't wasting any time, are you?
So is this language based on something? Is there an online translator somewhere for this?
While it's good to make the audience hate your bad guys, let's try to veer away from one dimensional psychopaths if at all possible.
Oh don't act like your hosts are innocent in all of this you condescending prick.
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The Equestrian language in this is entirely made-up. Like English, it's an SVO language, so the word order is mostly the same. I also came up with Ardun, the Cleomanni language, and that one is more like OSV/SOV. Verbs tend to pile up at the ends of sentences in that one.
"Mesha asrii, aspare kuka," literally means "Eat me, you c***".
Mesha = Eat, gnash, gorge oneself on.
Asrii = "This little one" (a typical pronoun used by ponies in a diminutive sense, as in those who consider themselves as lacking a place of honor or a noble title; higher-ranking ponies would use "asrea" instead).
Aspare = You.
Kuka, Kuk = A very profane word for female genitalia.
In Equestrian, "ut" is the possessive particle, and it modifies pronouns into their possessive forms. "Aspare" means "you", and "Aspare ut" means "your". In the next chapter, when Storm shouts “Mela aspare ut giege!” at a cleomanni who's trying to raise an alarm, what she's saying is "Shut your mouth".
The term for the Equestrian Empire is the Tonnanen Harredo, which means something like Equestrian Great Herd/Khaganate/Empire.
Tonna = People
Nen = Heart
Tonnanen = "People of the Heart" or "The Most People-like People". The concept doesn't translate into English very well.
Har- = Great (prefix)
Redo = Herd
The lexicon is incomplete and I'm basically making it up as I go along, but contains something like over a couple hundred words at this point. When coming up with ideas for the phonetics of the Equestrian language, I wanted it to sound soft and pleasant but also paradoxically harsh and intimidating. Almost Scandinavian in sound. One of the central ideas of the story is ponies-as-combatants. Ponies taken seriously as fighters, by some of the galaxy's most dangerous super-predators. That sort of thing. Not just dabbling with warfare, not just dipping the tips of their hooves in, but actually going all-in. The sound of their language is calculated to sound proud and militaristic, but also effete and conciliatory. Elven, sort of.
Ardun is intentionally very Slavic or Hungarian-sounding and grating.
I'm engaging in a bit of sleight of hand as regards the villains. My intention was...
... to start off getting the audience and the protagonists primed to hate the cleomanni more and more as the depths and dimensions of their evil was revealed, only for that to be undermined later on when sympathetic cleomanni start to appear more often, and they're just as horrified to learn the truth as our "heroes".
Both sides are struggling with deep, prejudicial hatred against the other. Both ponies and cleomanni are xenophobic towards one another. There are no good guys in this story. Everyone is at least a little bit evil.
My inspiration for Revanchism, really, was playing GalCiv and Stellaris as ponies. I always thought the casual xenophobia in Stellaris was a little hilarious, if not just a bit creepy. There's a box you can tick that makes a conquered species into your chattels, and there's another one you can tick that makes them into food. It's so clinical and detached, because you're roaming over a star system map, managing everything with a bird's-eye view and you can't see the atrocities up close. It's like... "Do players even realize what they're clicking on?"
That said, frankly, I am a little bit tired of sympathetic villains. My benchmark is eighties movies. I'm intentionally going for pulpiness. If you're gonna have a baddie, why not have a bad guy who's as irredeemably bad as Clarence Boddicker from Robocop? So many villains these days have excuses for their evil, and that's treated as deep. Frankly, it gets a little irritating reading about some bad guy, and then, just before the hero can deal the final blow, while the villain is lying on the ground, he raises his hands and he's all like "Wait! Waaaait! I'm this way because my poor poochie died of cancer!"
I wonder if it'll ever occur to her that swearing that oath was a more terrible act than all the slaughter she committed under orders. I wonder if it already occurred to her, and the only thing keeping her from being crushed by the grief is sheer denial.
I hear glados talking when I read the computers lines 🤣
Nothing like utter terror in the morning to get your blood pumping
Hehe I'm definitely liking her
Maybe? But you would at least treat them alot better then how they treat you
Itll be useful for random trivia night with the other inmates
So basically the galactic version of the west minster dog show?
Hehe I like this guy too
It's always good to be paranoid. Especially trapped with these crazy scientists and killer happy rent a cops
Sounds like a powered keg for a much grander rebellion
This feels like a reverse of 40k to me
Run bitch ruuuun!!!
God damn that was a massive chapter
9685978
Right? Literal pedophiliac porn gets featured and crosses 100 upvotes routinely, but this, which is off to a phenomenal start, can’t get more than 80 upvotes over several years? This is by far the worst fandom I’m aware of. If only there weren’t so many genuinely good writers dedicated to it.
10328633
More like the Tau Empire… minus the direct brain washing and Greater Good philosophy