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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Minor suggestion. Use line breaks when the scene changes.
[ hr ] It's that without the spaces.
Oh crap. She's BA-ACK.
WAAAAAIIIIT a second... Main character learns that the mlp world takes place in another universe... also learns that a select few people in his universe act as the Bearers of Harmony... the introduction of Descent as a defined character... Nightmare Moon as the first confirmed major villain... Trixie also being evil for... some reason... the Bearers of Harmony having control of the elements (TS: Magic and Energy; PP: Water and Ice; R: Earth and Crystal; RD: Storm and Lightning; FS: Air and Wind; AJ: Wood and Plant)...
! You're not just taking inspiration from Highscool DXD... but from La Magia de Amistad, too!
5989550 Well, that fan comic series does make for good inspiration, plus I figured it's best to start off with Nightmare as the first antagonist with Trixie as a minion, and the girls needed more than just elements of harmony to assume anthro form, so I gave them elemental magic similar to the girls, though in the comic Applejack's going to get fire so I swapped it with wood and plant manipulation
5989664 True. Plus, Fluttershy was given the ability to control wind and nature, with the secondary ability to heal. Can't wait for MOAR.
5989664 But really... I'm just glad I'm not the only person on this site who knows it exists... oh, and kudos on not having AJ having some confounding backstory. Though it does call for some genuine intrigue, her stubborn approach calls for some... sad moments.
5989719 Well he hasn't heard all of their backstories. So when he gets alone time with each of them he'll find out more about what they were like and such.
Nice chapter.
So none of them noticed Trixie hanging around nearby?
The training scene seemed a tad simple, and I am thinking along the idea of Spike sparring with Applejack. I can just sort of imagine the whole thing going like one of those cliche martial arts movies/anime where the student just gets thrown around without landing a hit. Granted I don't know what type of fighting style she uses (a western style like boxing or an eastern style like Karate or Kung Fu?)
The elements was also... I am not going to say bad because using classical elements can be fun and has potential. And as the author is it your purgative to write what you think you can. On the other hand I can't help but wonder if you had incorporated other ideas such as the powers of the Power Ponies (though I suppose Speed for Pinkie and Strength for Fluttershy would be making it closer to high school DXD again). Or other possibilities such as "Probability Alteration" for Pinkie or "Observation Haki" for Fluttershy (power from One Piece that allows you to intentions, locations and give precognition of danger). Item creation still seems like a very Rarity thing.
Otherwise nice chapter.
5992968 probably Chun Kuk Do
Great, The Most Boring (In My Opinion) Of Elements.
*Sigh* They Don't Make Purple Dragons Like They Used To
Ah Well I Hope He Can At Least Have Different Types Of Fire (like Eat Something And Have That Effect The Fire's Properties OR That You Are Creative Enough To Make It Interesting)
Ah, Descent and having elemental powers tied to the Elements of Harmony... Glad to see even more taken directly from mauroz's comic...
His blood split
Then when the leave themselves open
Spike watched in amaze at how affective her elemental magic was
" she started manipulating air around them into a breeze."
1. Spilt.
2. They.
3. Amazement, effective.
4. Unneeded quotation mark.
Part of me expected a message to show up after hitting the target.
7243742 And I think that message would say '+10 points', along with 'Overkill'
HIS ex-girlfriend
Yup so Highschool DxD story but it's awesome and hilarious that puts the anine to shame but still I liked the anime and now I found this story so yay.
7131537 Tell me about it; In Dragon Mania Legends Fire is the chepest and the first Element you get...
Fight, flight, fire and freak the freak out.
"Thank you kindly, Mrs. Drake," Rarity said, "If would be rude of us to turn down a request now, wouldn't it?"
the 'if' needs changed to a 'it'.
This reminds me of Mauroz's comic.
7704261
So, I'm not the only one. :3
7258444
Ten points to griffindor.
this is some WIZARAD crap right here XD
He trained for what is implied to be the first time yesterday. Waking up today he should feel like dying, he is so sore.
This was a awesome training chapter I can't wait to see him use it.
Just to let you know…air & wind are the same thing. Wind is basically air when you add motion to the atmosphere depending on how high and/or low the pressure is in the area 😅
10582530
lololololololololololololololol