Diamonds and the Rough
It’s amazing what you can do with a few simple enchantments. All you need is one spell to automatically transcribe what you say, one to read new text as it appears, and a powerful magic book that instantly sends messages across the world.
Well, not across the world. Canterlot isn’t even all that far away - if not for the trees and the mountains… well, actually the trees and the mountains were pretty significant. The point is that I could have, in theory, seen the tallest spires of the castle if I got above the treeline of the forest. If it was a clear day.
“I tried that technique you told me about,” Twilight said. Or, more correctly, wrote. It was almost as good as speaking. I was sure we could get a voice link going if we wanted, but it would take more advanced illusion magic than I knew. Right now, since I had no idea what Twilight actually sounded like, the book was speaking using my voice.
“Did it blow up in your face?” I asked. I’d shown her how to force some extra mana into simple spells. I’d developed it myself based on some hypotheses and notes from the Clover Manuscript. The famous unicorn had been well-known for exceptional mastery of basic spells and their applications instead of relying on more complex spellcasting. The problem was, the more mana you threw into them, the more likely they were to turn into an improvised fireball.
“No. I estimate I got about five percent more effect, and kept it stable.”
I frowned at that and looked across the room at the book.
“Five percent?” I ran some numbers in my head. I admit I wasn’t the best at magical theory. Twilight had shown that she was better with the math than I was in the two years since we’d started writing to each other. I was more about the application. Doing was the fastest way to learn, as far as I was concerned. “That means you barely added more mana at all! I told you, it’s safe to go to fifty or sixty percent!”
“I’m afraid to push it that much. It’s not safe.”
Safe. I rolled my eyes. Who cared about safe? I closed the book I’d been reading.
“Twilight, I keep telling you, if you don’t push it to the limit, you never learn where the limits are.” I sighed. “When I was your age, the Princess took me out into the mountains and made me learn how to use my power safely.”
‘When I was your age.’ I was starting to sound like an old mare. I picked up a stack of books I’d been meaning to put away. I was starting to get lazy about it. You developed strange habits when you lived alone.
“That reminds me. The Princess is going to Saddle Arabia for another meeting with their leaders.” The deadpan tone was unavoidable, but the total lack of inflection was starting to bug me. I needed to get a little more variety in the spell’s voice. “She keeps suggesting I take a vacation. I want to visit you.”
I dropped the stack of books I’d been holding, and yelled as I was buried in an avalanche of aging paper and binding.
“What?!”
“An’ you said yes?” Applejack snorted. I groaned and leaned against an apple tree. It was probably named Rupert or Jackanape or something like that. I didn't name trees. I didn't want to get too attached to anything as flammable as wood.
“I couldn’t say no!” I protested, as I stacked the bushels into the cart with her. She didn’t like me picking apples from trees with telekinesis, but never seemed to have a problem when it came to avoiding harder labor. “She already had it all planned out. She even sent me a copy of her checklist.”
“For a witch you’re an awful doormat when it comes to foals." That was only half true. I usually managed to say no when Apple Bloom wanted me to use telekinesis to let her fly around her room, or to make an apple taste like a chocolate cake. "I don’t suppose you plan on throwin’ her into an oven when she shows up?”
I rolled my eyes at that. “Why? If I wanted to eat a filly, Apple Bloom would be just the right size for my cauldron.”
“She’s too much trouble to eat. Prolly give ya a stomach ache.”
I laughed at that. “Yeah. Look, you’re good at the whole… hospitality thing.” I waved a hoof vaguely. “I need some tips on how to be polite to a guest. Like...entertaining tips for hosting a get-together at the ruins of an ancient castle.”
“If you’re so worried about makin’ a good impression, not looking like you roll around in the mud might be a start,” Applejack said. “I heard some mare’s just opened a fancy clothin’ shop in town. You could get a new cloak. One not made outta granny’s old rags.”
I looked down at myself. My cloak was in bad shape, to the point that the black had faded to dirty brown and grey, and it was liberally patched with polka-dots and pinstripes, all random scraps that Granny had had on hoof. It was comfortable in the way that all well-worn garments were, and it wasn’t like I had a lot of choice of outfits anyway.
“I guess I have the bits to spend…” Not going into town and living by hunting and gathering made it pretty easy to save money up. I still had almost all of the bits I’d gotten as a parting gift from Celestia, though I’d gotten rid of all traces of the tracking spells that had been on them. “Alright, where is this place?”
I never would have found it on my own. The building looked less like a store and more like a carnival attraction. It was tall and decorated almost to excess, though with all of the carousel images it made me wonder just what they specialized in. I wanted to impress Twilight, or at least look less like a homeless mess. I didn’t want to seduce her.
I took a deep breath and knocked on the door. It opened almost instantly with a glow of magic, and I found myself being pulled inside.
A young white unicorn pranced from where she’d been lying in wait. I was amused. She’d clearly been preparing this grand entrance for some time. “Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique!” She had a strong Canterlot accent. I had to hope she wouldn’t recognize me, if she was really from Canterlot. Then again, there was something forced and fake about it.
“...Right,” I muttered. “So look, I need-”
She gasped as she finally really looked at me. “Darling! Your cloak!” She grabbed it before I could say anything, the clasp breaking as she roughly removed it. “What happened to it?” She held it up, the light from the windows showing through the worn fabric.
“Six years of living in the woods,” I said, getting annoyed. “Look, that stupid thing may be ugly, but it kind of means a lot to me and-”
Her eyes went wide. “I didn’t… I’m so sorry, dear.” She lowered my cloak. “There’s only so much I can do for it. I suppose I could fix the hemming and re-dye it, but a cloak is only one piece of fabric and I can’t undo the wear…” She looked up at me.
“I figured. I wouldn’t mind repairs to this one, but at this point I need something new.” The mare was studying my mane, and I caught her looking over my scars.
“You really should take better care of yourself, darling. Why, you’re even filthier than the farm pony I went to school with.”
“Applejack?” I guessed. “You look like you’re about her age.”
“You know her?” the mare looked surprised. “No doubt she spoke at great length about me. After all, everypony remembers Rarity, the most fabulous and stylish pony in school!”
“Sort of. She suggested I come here.” That seemed to make Rarity happy. She reminded me a lot of the ponies from Celestia’s school, between her fake accent and the way she craved praise and attention and admiration… It made me feel sick. Maybe because I’d been the same way when I was her age.
“She gave you excellent advice, then!” Rarity pranced around me. “Now, what did you have in mind? Something functional, I suppose?”
“Well…” I bit my lip. It was awkward, but Applejack had impressed upon me the importance of just saying what you want instead of beating around the bush. If you weren’t honest about what you wanted, you didn’t get it. “I’m meeting a friend of mine in person for the first time. I want to make a good impression.”
Her eyes sparkled. I was suddenly afraid. She had the same look a predator did when it caught sight of easy prey. “It sounds like you need a makeover~”
I’d lived in Canterlot castle. I’d dealt with the nobility almost every day. They’d invented dozens of products to take care of one’s mane and coat. Polish for hooves and horns. Makeup for every possible situation. I’d lived under the personal care of what many considered the most beautiful pony alive.
And yet even Celestia didn’t have the sheer variety of beauty products and makeup Rarity had at her disposal.
“And this will help get this bounce back into your mane!” She said, excited. She’d dragged me to her bathroom and was rubbing things into my mane. Mostly without my permission. I’d stopped fighting. She clearly knew what she was doing and, well, it was really nice to be pampered again.
“This is the first bath I haven’t had to heat myself in years,” I said, as she worked. I kept my eyes squeezed shut as suds washed over my face. It was actually really, really nice, even if we’d had to drain the bathwater once already after it had turned into thin mud around me. I had maybe let personal grooming slip out of my daily routine bit by bit over the years.
“I can tell,” Rarity noted. “I do wish you’d let me trim your mane, or at least do something about your fetlocks. You practically look like a stallion.”
“They make me look wild and untamed,” I said. “Besides, they’re hardly the first thing anypony would notice about me.”
“True. You have striking eyes, and your mane is incredible! Or at least it would be if it wasn’t currently a filthy mess.” She dug her hooves into my scalp as she massaged my head.
“You and I both know I meant my scars,” I sighed. They hadn’t faded in the six years since I’d gotten hurt. Picking at them had been a pretty stupid thing to do.
“Dear, there are two kinds of problems,” Rarity said. “There are the kind that you can do something about, like your mane, and there are the kind that you can’t do anything about, like your scars. The key to happiness is to learn the difference so you can change the former and accept the latter.”
“I have accepted it,” I said, trying not to move as she used her magic to rinse my mane.
“You’re hiding it behind that cloak,” she said. “Trust me when I say you are a beautiful mare. Whatever stallion you’re trying to impress is going to love how you look, and hiding it seems like such a waste.”
“It’s a mare,” I corrected. “And we’re just friends.”
“Oh yes. Just friends. And that’s why you’re getting your first makeover in years.” Rarity giggled. “That’s fine, dear. You don’t have to tell me anything if you don’t want to.”
I felt my cheeks burning red. “I mean it. Just friends. We’ve never even met in person. She’s just…” I searched for the right term. “She’s my student. I’ve been tutoring her.”
“Ah!” Rarity gasped. “Forbidden love! The most delightfully taboo romance!” She swooned. I could hear her swooning. Even Blueblood was less dramatic, and I once saw him faint because a bee got into his carriage.
“You’re really not going to let this go…” I sighed. “How long will it take to finish?”
“Just a few minutes, dear. Styling will be a bit longer.”
“Not my mane. I meant the cloak.” I struggled, trying to remember which day of the week it was, and totally failed. “She said she’d be coming into town on… Friday. So that’s only two days from now? I think?” Probably.
Rarity stopped what she was doing. “It’s Thursday, dear. If your friend is coming on Friday, that means you need it done tonight!”
“Oh.” I paled a little. Rarity helped me out of the bath and started drying me off. “I’ll pay extra, or at least what I can. Turns out being a witch isn’t a high-paying position.” I was starting to worry I’d have to get a real job. I didn’t exactly have a lot of practical skills, and if I had to wait tables, well, I’d rather fight more timberwolves. I'd gotten a few bits from the Apples from time to time, but I didn't like taking their money. They needed help, with Granny being too frail and Big Mac being the only one old enough to work the farm full-time. Applejack was a big help, but she kept overextending herself and I was worried she'd get hurt.
Not like I was one to talk about that.
“Hmm…” Rarity seemed to be thinking. “I wondered if you were the Pony of Shadows that Pinkie Pie goes on about. I had thought she was just making up stories, like about her rock farm.” Rarity snorted. “I may not know much about farming, but I’m sure it’s not how you make boulders!”
“That’s me,” I said, holding my head high. “The most dangerous thing in the Everfree.”
“Excellent. Then I know just the way you can pay me for this work!”
“I’m glad we decided to do this after you spent an hour fixing my hair,” I complained, as Rarity led me through the scrublands. There were quarries and sinkholes all around us. My hooves were already filthy again from walking through the dust and dirt.
“Darling, I wouldn’t be seen with you in public otherwise,” Rarity said, with all the haughty bearing of a Canterlot noble.
I looked around us. “Rarity, we’re literally the only ponies within miles.” I gestured to the wasteland. “We’re well out of town, nopony goes this way unless they need rocks, and…” I hesitated. “And I have no idea why you actually wanted to come out here.”
“Rocks, of course,” Rarity said. “Oh, don’t give me that look. Not just any rocks. Gems, darling. My special talent is finding them, though actually digging through the dirt is such a bother. You seem reasonably strong, so you should be able to handle the physical labor, no?”
“As long as you don’t mind me digging with magic,” I shrugged.
“Excellent. We will make an exceptional team.” Rarity’s horn lit up, and she changed direction. I followed her. Part of me felt stupid. I was being led around by a pony only a little more than half my age. Then again, I lived in the woods and apparently had twigs in my mane that I hadn’t even noticed, so maybe I wasn’t quite as independent and awesome as I thought.
“Sure,” I sighed. “Exceptional.” We walked for while longer, until Rarity stopped, her horn pointing downwards.
“Right here,” Rarity said, making an ‘X’ on the ground. I motioned for her to back away. Then I motioned for her to back up more when it looked like she might still be in the blast radius. Forty paces seemed safe enough. I charged up my horn, and I saw her eyes go wide with alarm just before I threw a bunker-buster fireball at the target. The bright mote burrowed into the ground and exploded with a plume of dirt and fire reaching higher than Rarity’s boutique.
“There you go,” I said, proudly, waving to the crater with my bad hoof. “That has to be at least twenty paces deep. Should be easy to get the gems now.”
Rarity glared at me. She was covered in a fine coat of dirt. “There aren’t any gems.”
“You said-” I started, though she didn’t let me finish.
“There aren’t any gems because you blew them up!” Come to think of it, that coat of dirt had some bright sparkles in it. “A lady should show restraint and grace, not brute force!”
“Hey, you wanted a hole, I made a hole!” I frowned.
“I wanted to carefully dig and find the gems!” Rarity stomped in frustration, then gasped as she chipped her hoof. I sighed and rubbed my temples as she fished things from her bag and started polishing it.
“Rarity, I’m not some refined lady. I wasn’t even that when I lived in Canterlot. I’m a witch, and I blow things up.” I gestured to the crater. “I blow up timberwolves for Applejack. I blew up an old beaver dam as a favor to one of Applejack’s friends. I even blow myself up for the sake of research.”
“What about landsharks?” Rarity asked.
“I’ve never blown up a landshark,” I said, confused. She’d dropped her bottle of hoof polish and was looking behind me. “There’s a landshark, like, right behind me, isn’t there?” She nodded. I slowly turned to look, and saw a mouth big enough to swallow me whole, ringed with teeth like stalagmites. Or stalactites. Depending on if the were on the upper or lower jaw, I suppose.
My idle thoughts about speleology ended as it roared, blasting me with a wave of rancid air like a cheap griffon buffet.
I reacted with my usual aplomb, and threw a fireball down its throat. I was too surprised to focus, and so it was a weak sputtering burst of wet flame. The landshark backed off, and I saw its whole body, a shape like an arrowhead supported by six stumpy legs and girded with armor that the Royal Guard could only dream of. It was as strong as a hundred ponies, able to dig so quickly through soil and soft stone that it could almost swim in the earth like a shark.
And I’d just made it very, very cross.
Having learned survival strategies from a zebrican shaman, I already knew the perfect strategy, an ancient art of putting one hoof in front of the other and moving as quickly as possible away from the danger, while making a loud noise to alert wildlife and ponies near you that you were in danger. It might have looked a lot like I started running away while screaming, but that was just because they didn’t understand the subtle differences. (And if I was running away while screaming, it was from an angry landshark, and was entirely justified.)
“Blow it up!” Rarity wailed, running with me and, I noted, easily outpacing me. Curse my twisted leg! I couldn’t even leave her behind as a distraction!
“What happened to being delicate and lady-like?” I panted, struggling to keep up.
“I don’t want to be a lady-like meal!” Rarity snapped. “Use your witch powers!”
I couldn’t argue with that, especially since I was going to be eaten first. The landshark was already after us, diving under the dirt and swimming through it at our heels. I tried to remember what I’d learned about them in school, but either I’d forgotten or, more likely, I’d assumed I’d never run into one.
I ran through options in my head. Another bunker-buster fireball? It would probably work, but the modified spell was more for cracking rock than attacking monsters, and by the time I had it charged and fired, we’d be in the blast radius.
Well, it was a better choice than teleporting and watching it eat another pony. My horn lit up as I gathered power, struggling to focus as my heart pounded in my chest and my twisted hoof ached. I turned my head and fired behind us, the fireball burning into the sandy soil almost midway between me and the landshark.
I tried to grab Rarity and throw her before it went off, but she was still in the air as it burst behind me, and I felt myself thrown into the sky by the shockwave. Pebbles bounced from my skin and a larger rock hit me painfully right near my cutie mark. I fell heavily to the ground, rolling to a stop and groaning in pain.
“Well that was a pain in the ass,” I grumbled, trying to get the dirt out of my eyes. There was enough salt in the soil to make it sting more than it should’ve. I got a glimpse of where the landshark had been. There was a crater with a disturbingly red puddle forming at the bottom. It wasn’t going to be chasing anypony ever again.
“Darling, are you alright?” I could feel Rarity checking me over, moving part of my mane. “You’re bleeding!”
I checked it with a hoof. There was wetness behind my left ear. Wonderful. “I’m fine,” I sighed. “I’ve had worse than this.”
“Just because you were hurt before doesn’t mean you’re fine now,” Rarity admonished. “Come now, we must get you cleaned up. Injuries to the head are no laughing matter. The hospital isn’t very far, and they’ll be-”
“No hospitals,” I snapped, with more force behind it than I’d intended. I took a deep breath. “Sorry. I’m not angry with you. I’m angry at me for getting hurt. I just can’t go to the hospital. If I start leaving a paper trail, I’ll be found for sure.”
Rarity sighed. “Dear, whatever you’re running from, I promise that the doctors will be discreet. You’ve heard of doctor-patient confidentiality, no?”
“Just… I can’t,” I sighed. “Sorry.”
“You’ll at least let me do what I can, won’t you?” Rarity said. She brushed some of the dirt from my coat.
“It’s just a few bruises and cuts,” I shrugged. “Besides, we need to find some gems, don’t we?”
“I can get gems some other time.” Rarity helped me stand. I was feeling a little shaky. Maybe the hit to my head had been worse than I’d thought. I hadn’t even felt it, but the growing headache was rapidly drawing all of my attention.
“Rarity, in case you’ve forgotten, I need those to pay you,” I said.
“Hush. I’m not going to let a pony sit there and bleed just because I’d like a few extra sapphires and rubies. You got hurt saving me from being eaten, and that’s more than enough payment.”
I sighed. “Thanks.” I didn’t feel all that thankful, though. I felt more like she was taking pity on me. I also felt like somepony was trying to crack my skull with a hammer, so I wasn’t in a real position to argue.
“If you feel that badly about it, I’ll still need help in the future. Perhaps for a portion of the gems we discover?” Rarity smiled. “They’re practically as good as bits, and it would keep you from needing to find a more… visible job? I expect you’d object to waiting tables, if you won’t even go to the hospital.”
“That… would be good,” I admitted. “There are a few things it would be nice to have…”
“Of course. A mare like you doesn’t deserve to languish in poverty.” Rarity turned up her nose. “You don’t have to live in the woods, you know. I have a spare room, and I’m sure Applejack could help if you wanted to stay further away from town.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I like having a castle to myself.” That made Rarity stumble for a step.
“A castle?” Rarity looked at me with wide, surprised eyes.
“Oh yes,” I yawned. “You know how it is. An ancient castle, preserved magically against the ravages of time. Full of ancient tomes and artifacts that would keep an archaeologist busy for a lifetime, all in the middle of an enchanted forest.”
Rarity watched me, frowning, before turning away and sighing. “Well clearly you don’t have any ancient soap or shampoo, darling. But if you ever needed, say, an interior decorator…”
“You’ll be my first choice if I need somepony to come and dust off my ancient ruins,” I said. “Now let’s keep moving. Landsharks almost never travel alone. There could be more around here, and they’ll smell the blood.”
Rarity’s eyes went wide, and she started almost running.
But not so fast she that she’d leave me behind.
“Black,” I said again. “I don’t care if blue would go well with my coat color.”
“Dear, black is going to make you look like you’re going to a funeral!” Rarity sighed. “A decade ago, yes, black went with everything and was appropriate for all occasions. But current fashion is bright colors, accents that pop, and flowing lines!”
“I live in the woods,” I groaned. “Bright colors are going to fade and it’s going to be impossible to keep clean. Black hides stains.” Especially burns. I might be mostly fireproof, but my clothing wasn’t so lucky.
“I suppose,” Rarity sighed. “It just seems so… dull. A cloak with no bright colors, no patterns, just flat black? You might as well buy off the rack at that point.” She shuddered.
“Restrictions breed creativity,” I countered. “How can you consider yourself a fascist if you can’t make a cloak?”
“Fashionista, darling. Not fascist. They’re completely different,” Rarity paused. “Well… perhaps not different in Prance.” She tapped her chin, thinking. “I suppose you’re right, though. Even a cloak can be made beautiful with excellent use of materials and fitting.”
“That’s the spirit,” I said. Rarity herded me onto a stage surrounded with mirrors, pushing me with rolls of fabric. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror. Sure, my mane was the best it had looked in years, but my body was still broken. The scars from the manticore attack had never really faded, and my twisted leg was obviously bent. I wasn’t as scrawny as I had been, at least. All the running through the woods had helped me get in shape.
“Maybe something sheer… no, that will never hold up to rough usage,” she sighed. “I suppose wool is the best material, though it doesn’t do well when wet.” Rarity juggled bolts of fabric, pulling swatches from them and holding them against my coat. I waited, avoiding looking at myself in the mirror.
She tilted her head and looked at me.
“What’s wrong, dear?”
“It’s nothing,” I lied. I was starting to get annoyed that a filly was speaking to me like she was older than I was. I was totally unprepared when a rolled towel swatted my flank.
“Don’t lie dear,” Rarity sighed. “I told you before, you’re a beautiful mare. I’d love to design a few dresses for you. It’s rare that I see a unicorn mare who isn’t either a little twig of a thing or so rotund that Applejack would mistake them for her harvest should they be painted red.”
I snorted at that. I knew exactly the type she meant. “So what does that make me, muscle-bound and stallion-like?”
“I’d prefer to say well-built,” Rarity corrected. She held up more swatches. One brushed against my coat and I blinked at the odd sensation.
“Was that leather?” I asked, looking back.
“Yes,” Rarity said. “I have a small store of rather more exotic materials like leather and synthetics. Leather is a difficult material to work with, and most ponies dislike it for the same reason they dislike eating meat. If you’re uncomfortable with it, I can assure you it isn’t necessary for a cloak. I was merely going through all of my options.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “It just felt…” I struggled for the word. “Nostalgic. A griffon ambassador once gifted me a leather jacket when I was a filly. I wore it almost every day until I outgrew it.” I smiled sadly.
“A griffon ambassador?” Rarity seemed intrigued, just like she had been with the mention of a castle.
I sized her up. She didn’t seem like the type to keep secrets, and this was a small town. That said, it wasn’t like ponies weren’t starting to get to know me, even if most of them didn’t know my name. Her eyes got bigger as she sensed my debate on if I should answer the question or not, giving me the same kind of sad, teary look that Applejack’s puppy sometimes did.
“Fine,” I sighed. “Don’t tell anypony, but I used to be Princess Celestia’s personal student.”
“You know the Princess?!” Rarity gasped. “Darling, you must be incredibly well-connected! No wonder you live in a castle! If you could just mention me and maybe wear a few of my dresses-”
“Slow down,” I sighed. “I said ‘used to be’. We had a… a falling out.” I looked down at my twisted hoof. It had been a very long, painful fall. And mostly my own fault. “I’m living in the Everfree because I don’t ever want to see her again.”
“I’m terribly sorry,” Rarity said. “I suppose I got ahead of myself. It must have been quite something, though, living with the Princess.”
“It was… something.” I shrugged. “It wasn’t bad. It was better than the orphanage, but there was always this feeling like if I didn’t keep improving, I’d be sent right back. She never had much time for me, and when she did, she treated me more like a project than a pony.” I saw the look on Rarity’s face and tried to correct myself. “I don’t mean she was mean or anything. Just distant, and she had everything carefully planned out. Sometimes I felt like I didn’t have a choice.”
“Well, a teacher usually doesn’t give their students an option of what to learn,” Rarity noted.
“I guess. But she always made it seem like I’d chosen to do something, even when she was manipulating things to keep me in line. Like, she once asked me if I wanted to have a lesson inside or outside. When I said I’d rather be inside at night, she gave me a lesson on astronomy because I needed to learn to appreciate the night sky more. But I found out from the servants that I would have gotten the same lesson even if we’d gone to the gardens. It was all smoke and mirrors and forced choices.”
Rarity was quiet while I spoke. Maybe I’d managed to convince her that the Princess wasn’t as perfect as everypony thought.
“I wanted her to treat me like I was a person, but all I was to her was a pet. Scolded when I did something she didn’t like, praised when I jumped through her hoops, and never anything like an equal.” I rubbed at my eyes. “Then thrown into the street when I refused to do any more tricks for her.”
I was surprised when Rarity hugged me. It was a little awkward. It was clear she wasn’t used to doing it. I still appreciated it, leaning into her and trying to keep my sniffling under control.
“I promise I won’t tell a soul,” Rarity said. “I won’t even tell them if the Pony of Shadows herself needs a shoulder to cry on. I know what it’s like to have to put a face on in front of ponies, dear, and that high society can be… cruel.” She sighed. “I know it too well.”
I left the boutique with a new cloak. Rarity had almost stitched it into place, draping fabric over me and cutting it to shape. I had to admit that her magic was more impressive than I thought. It wasn’t as powerful as mine, of course - not that anypony was as powerful as me - but she had an amazing level of control with her telekinesis. I’d tried sewing myself, but I couldn’t manage to make the delicate, repetitive motions without ripping something. It was one reason I’d been having Granny Smith patch my cloak up.
She’d put my old cloak in a box after a few repairs, and the oddly heavy package was weighing down my saddlebags as I finally got back to the castle. I’d been smart enough to set up an arcane mark, but because of the castle’s ambient wards, I’d had to put it nearly at the bridge, so it was still a long walk, especially since my hooves were tired from joining Rarity on her little quest today.
I took the cloak off and carefully folded it. I didn’t want it to get wrinkled before the big day tomorrow. An old fireplace lit with a motion of my horn, logs bursting into flame. I had a lot of cleaning to do before Twilight got into town. I’d never been good at it, since I’d had a largely-ignored rotating cast of servants to clean up any messes I’d made. I had to start somewhere, though, and if I started with books I’d get distracted and forget the rest.
I grabbed my saddlebags and started dragging them towards the room of salvaged furniture that I called my own. The room across the hall was in good enough condition for Twilight, though the roof leaked a little where the weatherproofing enchantment refused to pick up the slack.
The box Rarity had given me was still oddly heavy. I pulled it out and opened it. My old cloak looked… well, not brand-new, but in better condition. The frayed edges had been re-hemmed, and an application of dye had smoothed out the worn colors to a warm dark grey.
The broken clasp had been repaired, and there was a new lining sewn in around the shoulders to make it warmer. I smiled. Rarity hadn’t just done what she could to repair it, she’d made sure it was still useful.
I pulled it the rest of the way out of the box, and saw why it had been so heavy. Rarity had put something else into it without telling me. Nestled into the bottom of the box was a jacket. A leather jacket. I put my cloak on the side and removed the jacket, my eyes going wide. A sheet of stationery fluttered to the ground, tastefully watermarked and penned with graceful hornwriting.
A gift for a new friend. It won’t wear out as easily as cloth, and you will both appreciate it more than the ponies in town and deserve it. Remember to visit so I can see how it looks on you. - Rarity
I felt myself start to tear up, and I hugged it to my chest, burying my face into the jacket. It smelled just like the one I’d had as a foal, like the good times when I used to think I was special. I collapsed onto my bed, still holding it, and wondered where it had really all started to go wrong.
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Why is this story not getting any attention? Maybe you should join some groups or something?
"-needed help, with Granny being too young-"
That's... probably not what you meant to write. Enjoying the story, btw.
5787656
If people want to post it to some groups, I wouldn't mind.
5787669
Tell no one. Make them think it was perfect. *Fixes quietly so there's no trace at all, especially not in the story comments*
5787676 I think you need to join groups to add stories to them. there is a sunset shimmer group that I recommend you join and add your story too. You can potentially get a lot of exposure that way.
Link: http://www.fimfiction.net/group/199035/sunset-shimmer
Did you mean Apple Bloom being too young or Granny Smith being too old?
This is the first Sunset Shimmer story I have read. I like it so far. I did not like her in the first movie but liked the redeemed version of her in the second. It will be interesting to see how this ties in with the regular story line.
I like this fic because it emphasizes the age difference between the Mane Six and Sunset Shimmer, something not present in EQG.
So Sunset is making friends with the potential Element Bearers. Hmmm..
I think their impression of Celestia is going to be soured.
5788129 if nothing else, I think they will be a lot less inclined to follow her blindly just because she says so. (Crystal empire, Discord, Tirek, etc.)
5788129
In fact, she could be a better Element of Magic than Twilight: she has spent years learning how to move throught the Everfree, the secrets of the old Castle of the Sisters, and making friends with the other future Bearers.... it would make more sense to be her the one who will lead the group against Nightmare Moon than a newcomer Twilight.
sorry if this was already answered, but how often is this going to update? it's an amazing story, and i'm eager to read more! i saw that there had been a new chapter roughly every day, but i was curious as to whether that would continue.
A very good story. From what little we know about Sunset history, I think that you are portraying her in character. With a reasonable grievance against Celestia, but, at the same time, with defects.
Regarding Celestia, I believe that most of the problems between them come from miscomunication. Celestia treated her as a studen when she wanted to be her daughter, and Cadence was the the breaking point for her. And, at the same time, even with all the problems that Sunset had (being prideful and power hungry) Celestia didn`t undestood the core of her motivation, that was simply to be a equal to her if she couldn`t be her daughter. A mess, in any way you want to look it.
Celestia and Sunset are going to need to have a long conversation if they want to save what little part of their relationship they can. And I think that all the secret is not needed, because Celestia and the Guard must think that she died when she jumped to the river. And hell, that has to be a heavy hit to Celestia if that is true, because I think that when she had calmed, she wanted to try to make amends at least, maybe after giving Sunset enought time to calm down and reflexionate about what she had done. After all, she had commited no crime in this alternate world (running away from autority, maybe).
And I am loving how is she making friends with Zecora, Applejack and and Rarity. Because, even if she is not the easiest pony to make friends with, she is trying, at least.
And with Twilight... Well, I want to see the next chapter. Sunset is right now... A mix of a teacher an a experienced equal, but the moment when they meet face to face that may change. The fact that Sunset managed to make Twilight take a holiday to see her is a miracle by itself.
I am very interested in seeing how are you going to continue this story. Good luck!
5788762
Assuming nothing else comes up, I'll be updating every day until the end.
5788973
The crime Sunset is worried about is that she spent time in the library learning Dark Magic, and part of her is convinced that Celestia would lock her up for that. Of course, she probably wouldn't, and there's another reason Sunset is running... but it's less of a crime and more of just not wanting to face her mistakes.
So, how many explosive runes has SS prepared around her castle? I'm just asking for the inevitable awkward explosion when Luna returns.
5790345
Hahaha
You have no idea how many. Sunset is super-paranoid.
5790391
Ah, excellent. Shall we expect half or three quarters of the Everfree to be leveled as collateral damage?
5790691
Don't be silly. Sunset Shimmer has tons of restraint and is a master of excellent life choices.
She'll only burn down half of Equestria.
5790793
Ah, I never liked that half anyway. We'll build a giant mall there. Name it 'Sunnyvile' or something. Sunnydale?
What is interesting is that NOTHING is non-canon yet. It doesn't need the AU presently even in my opinion (everything is the same but 1 difference is not an AU). As it stands it mainly makes canon more correct by filling in gaps.
Of course that could change quite a bit very soon.
It will be interesting to see how she feels when she meets Twilight and loses that "most powerful" monicker.
And yes this story does need more attention. I know I posted a link to it to the skype group I am in.
Okay, so Sunset got three friends now.
I don't think fascist means what you think it means. I'm pretty sure Rarity isn't a Nazi.
Wikipedia knows what I'm talking about
Edit:
Well maybe I should finish the chapter before commenting.
Very nice depiction of Rarity, and so many feels.
As paranoid as Sunset is, you'd think she'd be worried about ponies following Twilight (just to keep an eye on her for Celestia) and stumbling across Sunset-- not a trap because they weren't expecting to find her, but a consequence of having someone so high profile visit.
Otherwise, nice chapter, Rarity is probably working what she's heard about Celestia into her harsher experiences with high society right now in her mental map of Canterlot.
Sunset had the idea to jump off the bridge because of the sonic rainboom meaning within like seven hours celestia had replaced her? Why did she bother following her then?
There's a story behind that, I can tell.
*SNORT*
Okay that one got me.
YESSSSS
Six down, Five to go. I wonder who new will next interact with Sunset after Twilight's done with her visit.
I don't think you did the thing this time!
I wasn't sure after Applejack, but given Rarity and eventually Twilight, it looks like Sunset just might end up meeting and becoming friends with the whole Mane 6. I wonder that means for Luna's upcoming return... 🤔
7177489
Likely a Coco Chanel reference.
5879801
Nazis did have some snazzy uniforms though. It's an easy mistake to make.
5879801
I'm not the only one who got a laugh good.
WHEEEEEZE
They invented text chat
Oh, huh, unexpected time skip.
lol.
Ah, the humour between those two is delightful
Huh, she actually considered repairing it. How thoughtful.
Oof
That day, Sunset learned to fear another person besides Celestia
Ugh, knock it off, Rarity
...they're going to prank Pinkie?
Hey, you should have been more specific
Oh, I remember these things from Armed and Dangerous. Tons of fun!
Well. These seem to be a slightly different variety. Still, that game was tons of fun
Wait, what?
Can't wait for her to meet Twilight "OP" Sparkle in person
Eh. Once you show Twilight the library she won't notice any mess there could be around. Or any monsters. Or, anything at all really
wool does really well when wet. Even when wet it will still keep you warm
10692710
While that's true, it also retains that water and becomes very heavy.
Brutal!!! <3
It took a re-read to catch this one.
Well played...
You may have the magical power, Sunset- well, actually you're probably about the same power level as Twilight- but nopony is a match for the power of the Checklist!
Rarity is in top form here. She really feels like a less mature and more exaggerated but still true version of her future self, and the two have a fantastic dynamic.
I'm really looking forward to the meeting!
5879801
LMAOJSVAJABSJABS
Actually [grew up in Iceland voice] wool is the best material if you expect to get wet. It will get very heavy because it absorbs a lot of water, but it also retains heat even when soaking wet which is why sailors use it a lot.