dC/dt ≠ 0

by I Thought I Was Toast

To Move The Heavens Themselves (Twilight?) Part 4

This next part is where things get weird, and I can never impress just what exactly was given to me that day. I was expecting something like a dream or a movie. What I got was another life. We were only asleep for a few hours, but, in a way, we were gone for years.

Memory manipulation is weird like that.

I still wonder if they meant it to be that way. I look back, and the warnings were there, but I didn’t listen to them. Everything we knew about mind magic back then suggested that we would end up a scared and confused mish-mash of identities…

But the hive protected us.

I don’t pretend to know how, and the changelings didn’t even contemplate the danger—the significance! It was something so normal to them that they hadn’t bothered to question it in a long time.

Everypony who lives it has a slightly different experience though, so my current theory is that it filters the experience through empathy. In essence, small inconsistencies were created so that my sense of self was preserved. At least, in theory. I talked to Morpheus about it, and he described it as ‘flying in another lings wings.’

The problem is I don’t think it works a hundred percent on ponies. I’m still me most of the time—unless I call on Ichorous’ memories. Names slip. Pronouns shift. I really can’t describe it. I’m still me, but there’s also an Ichorous in the background.

Then again, maybe that’s how the hivemind works?

I digress, though. It’s time for the tale of Ichorous. Where do ve begin, though?

Synchronization complete. Beginning memory transference.

I woke with a gasp—images of pink and white and lavender clinging to our thoughts. Odd… ve didn’t remember falling asleep in a bed. There had been a cute mare out stargazing, and I’d been hungry. Ve recalled pulling some stunts, boasting a bit, then flaring my wonderful wi—

I hissed as pain exploded through my sides. I tried to move my wings to the side so I could get a look, but clenched my eyes shut and choked back a scream as the burning sensation increased. Without moving anything else, I slowly opened an eye and cast my gaze as far back as I could. With much trepidation, I inched my head around to see what was wrong. My brow furrowed as I failed to behold any of my marvelous gossamer wings.

A crash landing would explain the fuzziness pervading our thoughts, but my wings had to be crumpled badly if I couldn’t see them. Deciding to risk the pain, I snapped my head around to take in the full damage.

My wings were simply gone.

This time I didn’t hold back the scream.

There was the sound of hooves rushing into the room. I was vaguely aware of something pink and white. Somepony held me as I thrashed about, but I really didn’t care for any comfort.

Ve remembered now! Ve had dared the mare to a race towards the sun. The one who could get the closest before turning away won. Ve had gotten closer and closer until it burned. Our lungs were on fire as they struggled for air. Our muscles burned from forcibly streamlining our body in ways it wasn’t supposed to. It was so hard to find the strength for that extra lift, and the mare just giggled, flying in circles around me.

It was only when ve started to fall that ve had realized the burning sensation in our wings was more than simple pain. The last thing ve could remember before the blackout was the mare diving after us as graceful as a swan.

Ve played the scene over and over again in our head, no longer flailing, but still shaking. The wing holding me felt larger than I’d expect for a pegasus, but I didn’t complain as I fell asleep.

I woke to find the pain fizzling mutely in the background. Blinking the sleep from my eyes, I realized the sun was smiling sadly upon me.

“It seems my daughter’s mischievous streak got the best of her this time.” Sweet hive, I was in the presence of She-Who-Moved-The-Sun, and she had deigned to speak to me—worm that I was. I was not worthy to— Wait. Daughter?

I blinked, looking about the room. Sure enough, the mare from before sat—almost huddled—in the corner. There was the rather stark addition of a horn, and I blinked again, first one haw than the other.

By the First Father, I had made the moves on the daughter of the sun.

Her ears perked as I caught sight of her, while my own flattened. “Oh, no…. No. N-no. N-no. No. No.”

She slumped, ears flattening, and my protests got faster.

“Shh…” The sun shoved her hoof in my mouth, and ve quietly noted that she did not burn like her charge. “I am not going to smite you for courting my daughter. She certainly did enough to you on her own.”

The mare in the corner wilted further.

“That said—” I could hear the spark of mischief, like fire, in her voice. “—I think you will need some friends to look after you while you recover, perhaps even beyond that since you lost your wings.” She nodded to the shadows, and I jumped as She-Who-Paints-The-Night stepped from the darkness. “My sister and I must travel onwards. The land of Equestria is beset by a monster who turns day to night on a whim, and we must find a way to stop him before he thinks to spread his chaotic influence further than our home.”

She unfurled her wings dramatically. “I would be remiss to ignore the pain my daughter has caused you, though. It is only fitting that I leave her in your service until you are better.” The sun winked at me. “She will care for you until you are better, then rejoin me and my sister after ensuring you make it home.”

As she strode majestically past me, she leaned in to whisper in my ear. “Keep her safe. Perhaps get me some grandfoals. Do that, and I might just forgive you for scaring her to death.”

Ve stared upwards, quite sure I had misheard.

The sun shrugged, grinning as she stepped up to her sister. There was a flash of light, and they were gone before ve had time to even begin processing our situation.

The mare in the corner raised her head. “So—”

“No,” I interjected. “Whatever it is. No.”

She wilted again. “But—”

“No!” I interrupted again. “No pony is talking until ve have time to think all of this through! She never even got our name, and she wants grandfoals! She’s nuts!”

“It’s a phase.” Hoof met groaning face.

“I said no talking!” I tried to buzz, and it burned.

She was silent for a while after that. Our thoughts and feelings sped faster than sunlight—burning through our mind in a panicky fire. Fear. Sadness. Pain. Anger. Rage. So much rage. Ve didn’t know what ve were supposed to think. Ve were a monarch. Our wings were everything to us, and my wings were gone because of this mare. Ve weren’t even sure ve could manage a non-pegasus form if ve wanted to.

I sniffled.

“Radiant Dawn.” The source of my pain broke the silence. “My name is Radiant Dawn.”

Anger flared, and I hissed. “Ichorous—like the inky blackness of your heart.”

I— No. Ichorous was mad, furious, murderous even.

But time heals all wounds.

I’m sorry. I can’t do this…. Not to my satisfaction anyways. I could try to tell you their tragic tale, but nothing compares to living it: for I was Ichorous.

Ve felt his anger—so powerful, ve contemplated smothering Radiant in her sleep—and ve tasted her crush like a poultice of lilies and cherry blossoms even as ve ranted and raged while she tirelessly nursed us back to health. Her devotion and resolve was the sharp metal tang of steel and iron, and ve fell in love with the sheer determination she showed trying to smile every day. In time, our hostility was nothing but an act. Ve were mean, cruel, and utterly unbearable, all because ve thought that maybe she’d leave my worthless shell for greener pastures.

And she somehow knew and persevered. She tried to show us what she saw.

I cannot give you what you need. I’m not some trashy romance writer, so I won’t even try to give you the years ve spent stupidly rejecting her love and bottling my own behind filters— Morpheus, told you about filters, right? Well, ve— Ichorous used them for years to hide from what he was feeling—much like a certain prince did when he first came to Ponyville.

Eventually, he couldn’t hold it in anymore…

...and ve decided ve would move the heavens themselves for her.

“I stumbled upon some new medicine today in the market.” The room brightened, as always, when Radiant entered. “Strange fellow, but all the regular doctors were out of town. I had to pay him with a song and a dance of all things.” A tuft of cloud met a rainbow’s glow. Plucking a feather from her wing, she stirred. “He said it was ‘Best if stirred with a fine friends feather, then drunk all together,”

“You could have waited for a real doctor.” I gave a soft thrum, cursing inwardly. It was so hard to snap at her these days. Even the mindless drone was difficult sometimes. The taste of honey-dipped steel grew, piercing my shell with warmth, and I retreated behind my haws, forcing my blood black to hide the blush creeping up my neck.

She thought I was concerned for her.

All sorts of warm, fuzzy caterpillars blossomed into butterflies in my stomach at the thought, and ve promptly plucked the wings from them, shoving the corpses in the recesses of our mind. My feelings were moot. A monarch was worthless without their wings, and ve would do best to act like the lowly worm ve had become.

Radiant handed me a glass of fizzing, purple medicine. “Odd that I need to drink it too, but the doctor said the magic only works if it’s given by one who cares.”

I paused, cup at my lips. I could hear the faintest quaver to her voice, a hint of nervousness. I cast out the tiniest snippet of wind—thankful once more that I hadn’t lost everything with my wings—and the wind sense told me thump of her heart beat was just a little faster.

She wasn’t lying, but there was something she wasn’t sharing. Ve didn’t know what to make of that, but perhaps she merely meant to give a show of solidarity. She had gone to greater lengths before when trying to get me to open up.

She toasted me and we drank. There was a brief hint of wine in the air—regret or maybe guilt—and a few violently violet bubbles popped in the bottom of my glass as I lowered it.

Something was wrong.

Ve felt the stirrings of volatile emotion, and clamped my filters down before it could spread through my system. Even then I could taste it radiating off of Radiant Dawn. What was once sweet honey was now a rotting cesspool of writhing maggots that wriggled in their own filth—a substance close to and yet oh so different from honey.

“Oh, schmoopy-doo.” I recoiled as Radiant’s pupils turned into little hearts.

It was addicting in its own disturbing way—the not-love. The maggots throbbed in tune with my heart, and they hissed with every breath I made. Meanwhile, Radiant’s emotions were one with me, empowering me beyond my wildest dreams. I struggled to hold my emotions in. Filters were breaking like eggshells as little maggots threatened to fill my mind.

I had to do something.

I had to stop it.

I would move the heavens themselves if necessary.

So I opened my filters and drank every drop from her system.

The maggots slithered from her heart to mine with abandon, cannibalizing the eggs of their brethren within me. Poison fed on poison, and they grew fat with gluttony until they burst in a shower of sweet honey. Love—pure and true—filled me to the brim, and I shuddered in ecstatic disgust. My carapace began to itch, and my mark began to glow. Ve realized with growing horror that I had acted in love, and that my next Chrysalling was attempting to interrupt my rescue.

I accelerated the drain to dangerous speeds as silken threads crept from my glands to cocoon me whether I wanted it or not. The faster I worked, the faster the chrysalis came, and ve feared I’d have too little time. Ve didn’t know what the poison would do if left in Radiant, and ve were terrified of finding out.

As the final strands of silk fell in place, I felt the drain complete. The soul crushing stare she had maintained for hours broke as she blinked, eyes returning to normal. I reached a hoof out to the wall of my prison, and I mouthed the three words she deserved to hear. Her hoof tried to meet mine as she mouthed them back, and I smiled.

She knew.

This is where things went wrong. Not even Father Arachne knows what it was exactly, but something in the love poison corrupted Ichorous’ transformation. The memories blur into dreams of ravenous maggots. There are vague impressions of chitinous swarms marauding the countryside.

Raiding. Pillaging. Searching for something white and pink as ve loomed far above in the air.

It kind of reminds me of what Spike said he remembered from the day he rampaged through Ponyville. There weren’t any thoughts. Just feelings and desires, and I find it absolutely terrifying to think that Spike or Morpheus could get stuck like that. One mistake is all it would take….

But it also makes me sad.

Ichorous made one last memory that wasn’t consumed by the maggots. Ve can remember finding her at the hive. She kept pleading for us to stop—to let her find a cure—but ve couldn’t.

The maggots were always hungry, and they struck at her in distress.

From deep within the maggots I watched her fall. They made me twitch—the writhing worms. They wanted to move on—to find more food—but I forced myself to watch as dawn turned to dusk.

I had to save her.

I wrenched my haws open so my eyes could meet hers. I tried to reach her with wings or magic, and yet the maggots held me as I held them.

We were at a standstill.

I continued to struggle, and at last I managed to reach out a hoof—the hoof that had hit her. That was all I could do. She slammed into the ground, and was still. With a great shuddering breath I wrenched back control of my lungs to wail to the heavens. Seconds passed, and I saw her barrel rise and fall.

Yet the swarm moved in.

The swarm moved in, and the maggots writhed, and ve knew I would soon lose myself once more. I would be damned if I didn’t try to save her, though. I would move the heavens themselves for her.

The heavens themselves…

The heavens…

Maggots swarmed over my eyes once more as I reached to the stars and pulled.

It blurs again after that, but I can guess what happened. The Badlands had another name in most of those books Third Eye gave me. A number of them came from before Luna’s banishment. Back then the desolate wastes were known as Starlight Basin. Ponies feared both them and Luna for she had supposedly brought the stars themselves down to Equis in her fight with Discord.

But I know the Badlands are scars from a different fight. There was a single coherent thought from Ichorous in his last shred of memory. He wanted to move the heavens themselves if it would save Radiant.

I don’t know why he thought it would, but he did, and the last of his jumbled, feral impressions is a searing heat and a flash of light.

Author's Note:

First, Lore! Oh my gosh, after 100k words I finally got some Lore in. It feels weird really. I know it's not exactly forcing it after all the build up and hints, but it feels that way still. In addition, I had to do this weird juggling act, because giving any more than I gave here felt like I would have an obligation to expand further until we had a massive story in a massive story. Now I'm thinking I might do a detailed version of Ichorous' tale after I finish dC/dt, but then again... I also had loose plans for other potential sequals, and dC/dt is only like 1/3 done.

Anways, second! Curse Flurry Heart the "first and only alicorn baby" for making this so difficult! This was the best of four lore choices. The first was this, but a romance with Luna and love poison remains turning her into Nightmare Moon, but that felt contrived. The second was this but it was Cadance's ancestor rather than Celestia's daughter, and the passing of the story was the reason she knew of changelings, but that didn't make sense with her her more hostile attitude towards them. The third was this and some random mare, but it felt kind of random even if it is more realistic that the royal sisters weren't involved with everything. And the fourth was this. I feel it's a good compromise, because the sister's involvement is very little, but it also gives me things I can use for Celestia and Luna.

Regardless, the story is now firmly an AU in the most technical sense. I don't think I'll use an AU tag yet, but keep it in mind. It was like that before, but I hadn't strictly defied the show before that I can think of. I had defied the comics and several semi-canon sources, but they're only semi-canon.

Third, if you're wondering how this is the hearts and hooves tale, Third Eye did say he changed things to avoid Celestia's eye and that history itself blurred the tale over time. There in fact never was a prince, and, ironically, the 'prince' became the dragon.

Fourth, thanks to Malefactory for editting this time, and a shout out to all the other editors as it seems like real life is hittin' them hard lately. Critique is always welcome, but try to say at least one positive thing amid any negative comments. It may not seem like much, but it can be the difference between a comment appearing to be a senseless bash rather than thoughtful advice.

Obligatory Patreon Link

Comments

[Hiirome]

Well. That was some tale. Huh.
And Twilight is using the changeling ve now ! A permanent after-effect it seems... Well, hope to see the next chapter to see the others consequences of this memory seance... ^^

[Pretentious Narwhal]

Interesting . . . I do like me some good lore.

[TheStratovarian]

I liked this, in a strange alien way, this clicked. Of a way that makes a perfect alien sense. That it is, and it was, but it echoes. Oh how it echoes, and shines.. Oh how it shines.

[EchoWing]

If it helps, you can just go with the thought that Flurry Heart is the first natural alicorn born to an ascended one. Any offspring of Celestia would be born of a natural-born alicorn, and your story remains safe in that context.

[wlam]

a romance with Luna and love poison remains turning her into Nightmare Moon, but that felt contrived.

It would also rather ruin the point of her character. In a big way, the fact that Luna chose to turn into Nightmare Moon is what defines her. Making it something she was poisoned into would just remove any of the meaningful moral conflict from that.

That said, I still have barely any idea what actually happened in this chapter or why it matters. Came a bit out of nowhere, that. I think it might have been better to have them relive the life of an average changeling, give them a bit more of an appreciation for their perspective on the world.

[djthomp]

Yikes, that didn't go well. Given that there's no present day daughter of Celestia kicking around, I'm assuming this whole crisis pretty much ended terribly for everyone involved? Love poisons, not even once.

I'm curious why this story in the particular is the one that the Everfree hive feels is necessary to share with outsiders. Context for the rest of their to be revealed history?

[I Thought I Was Toast]

7670156
As it's not really important or likely to come up, one of the semi-canons of the stuff revealed outside the show I break is Twilight not being immortal and Celestia and Luna actually ascending. Ascended alicorns are immortal(read ageless) and can give birth to mortal alicorn foals that are akin to a fourth tribe rather than their God-like parents.

Thus, Radiant Dawn would be dead anyways. She just had the misfortune of dying spectacularly via star fall.

7669894
Full form is technically the next iteration, but even changelings view Hives as different entities than themselves. I mean, the scale alone makes it hard to relate, nevermind the mental differences.

[kotor511]

7670836 I can't really believe the fact that Celestia is even remotely willing to give Changelings a chance to make peace now, if she had indeed taken her daughter away by one of them.

Moving on is only possible to a certain extent.

The way it seems in this story, is that a Celestia who willingly saved the changeling, was severely disappointed with an immensely bad karma falling back on her, in a cruel twist of faith. During a time, as indicated, where Discord was doing his thing to equestria, no less. That should have put even more stress on her.

All that should be left with her, would be enormous regret, suffering, distrust and hate for changelings, if they really had killed her daughter.

Regret mostly, because she left her daughter to deal with him on her own in her naive ways, after Celestia saved him, ultimately leading her to use the love 'poison' on her crush. So in a way she is also responsible for her own daughters death.

That would cause just as immense self blame, as much as she'd feel utter hatred towards changelings.

The whole story would leave a scarred mess, in mind/soul/heart. So it couldn't possibly be as easy for her, to actually give changelings a chance as she does in the beginning of this story.

For all it's worth, she should have stomped Morpheus into mush the moment she met him.

Especially considering the power levels you're taking this story to. With an alicorn being able to bring down actual stars as an attack of choice, while spawning nukes (or magic that behaves as such) in a place.

That said, power levels like those for alicorns, or changelings alike, really bother me anyway, simply because if Celestia and Chysalis had those powers during the invasion of Canterlot by the changelings, there shouldn't be much left of Canterlot.

Considering Celestia's scarring over the loss of her own flesh and blood caused by a changeling, this should have been more then likely as well.

That said, both would never have even fought in the wedding hall, but rather teleported away to decimate the 'Everfree' or some large place in their coming brawls. They obviously have the potential to do so in your story, and Celestia has a really good reason to harvest a very deeply emotional grudge against changelings, that should fire her up the moment she met one again.

The invasion wouldn't have helped that, it should have made it worse.

Hence my disbelieve in Celestia actually wanting peace with the changelings, and reaching out, instead of herself going on a witch hunt after them.

[Nalis Faber]

Ah, so this is what I get for starting this story up again after going months without reading it. I'm so lost ;_;

I think I'm following, but a lot of this story is very confusing.

[HiddenMaster]

This was confusing. Granted, I think it's somewhat intentional here.

Also, on them having to see the memory...

That's a blatant lie. People talk. People tell stories, and get their point across. Sure, this has more impact in directly experiencing it, but they could easily have been told what had happened in the past.

The fact that no one raised questions on being linked in the face of so much previous hostility or wariness to changelings doesn't add up, but so much of this is confusing that I'm sure you have some justification somewhere. I just have no idea what it actually is.