Changing Times’s Notes: First and foremost, I feel the need to emphasize that my largest priority with gathering these reports is not to make an objective historical account of our peace negotiations with the changelings. There are already plenty of historians that are trying to do that, and we do not need another.
Rather, it is my goal to inspire hope in our potential future with the changelings. Even today, there is doubt and uncertainty surrounding them, but it is my wish to sooth the fears of the populace and show how we can truly coexist.
Start of Negotiations: A Report by Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria
I suppose I should begin with the day the Mo and I met, shouldn’t I? It was a rather... chaotic day. Discord showed up uninvited with an unwanted guest, and I had the mother of all diplomatic situations dumped on me by an enemy of the state.
What was I supposed to think? What was I supposed to do?
Honestly, I was probably more stressed and afraid than I remember. Knowing what I know now, though—knowing what would ultimately come from this meeting—my fears seem so silly and unnecessary.
The first and only warning I needed that today was going to be a bad day was blearily opening my eyes to find myself staring into a different pair of red and gold ones. It was far, far too early for this, and I sighed internally as I pretended to go back to sleep.
I was not in the mood to deal with any kind of draconequi that day.
“Oh, Princess, time to get up…” Discord’s voice was, as ever, somewhere between charming and grating.
“Mrgmfff….” I turned to my other side.
“Twilight…” he groaned, summoning an alarm clock to ring in my ears with a snap. “Please get up. I don’t have time for your games right now, and Celestia’s given me a load of work heavier than that flaming ball of cake-fuelled indigestion she has floating around the planet.”
It was a trick. It had to be. Everything was tricks and pranks with Discord – even his work – and I was not in the mood to get up from bed to be instantly pranked. If he was going to mess with me, I was at least going to enjoy a little bit of satisfaction in denying him for as long as I could.
Really, it was only logical to bury my head under my pillow and try to make him magically disappear.
The draconequis-who-was-not-there heaved an extravagant sigh. “Alright, little Miss Know-it-all, just remember that you could have avoided this.”
There was the insidious thunderclap of cracking knuckles, and hiding beneath the pillows suddenly seemed like a much less intelligent decision. A flash of something managed to penetrate my feathery shield, but I wasn’t sure it was lightning. Knowing Discord, it could have been the brilliant flash of maroon flavored alfalfa.
“Shoo.”
I heard his fingers snap and felt a distinct lack of my wings or horn. Whereas before I had been annoyed, now I was livid. I started to round on him to give him a piece of my mind when I heard the second snap.
“Bee.”
I pulled in a breath, but found myself choking on the air as if it were thin soup. My lungs felt strangely empty, and as I spied my new seahorse-like tail and felt something suspiciously like gills on my neck, I understood. I glared at Discord, and he grinned like a madman with fine taste in tea and hats.
“Doo.”
It was at this point a veritable ocean decided to deluge itself upon me. Hard and fast, the water essentially pinned me to the bed. I couldn’t move to intercept Discord, so I decided to simply wait things out with a sigh. I should have known provoking Discord would make him do something like this. It was always easier to just go along with what he wanted.
Eventually, the flooding stopped, and I was able to take stock of my surroundings again. The draconequus had at least been considerate enough to leave my belongings dry, although my bed was damp from the water I was shedding on it.
My dresser and vanity were fine, although the mirror appeared to have a light coating of mist, the pillows and rugs in front of the fireplace appeared just as cozy as ever, and the books—must not forget those—were all in perfectly pristine condition.
Discord just floated there with that smug smile of his. His serpentine body coiled about the air above me, idling back as if resting in one of Rarity’s many fainting couches. “Ready, Your Highness?”
“You do know most ponies would have used a bucket of water, right?” The room rumbled as I spoke—my glower rigid and strong. My very bones ached from the vibrations I put into the words, and I inwardly cheered at such a successful use of what Celestia called her ‘To the Sun’ voice.
Discord merely chuckled at my statement, however, and lightly patted me on my head. “Oh, that’s so sweet. Maybe one day you’ll even sound as grim as your oh-so-sunny teacher.”
He winked, slinking through the air around me like a serpent constricting its prey. “Until then, try to keep in mind who she perfected that little trick on. Now, are you coming? If not, I have several more arguments that I’m sure you’ll find very persuasive.”
It was tempting—it really was—but, in the end, logic won, and I relented with an exasperated sigh. “Fine… but this had better be good. Can you fill me in on the way, or are you going to be nothing but an enigmatic plothole?”
Discord laughed and flew to the door, opening it for me. “I thought Celestia was the enigmatic one.”
I shook my head trotting down the hall. “No, she’s the cryptic one.”
It was a quiet snicker, but it was a snicker, and, if there’s one thing you learn with Discord, it’s that it’s the quiet laughter you need to worry about.
“So you’re saying Celestia is a cryptic plothole?” He grinned.
My glare was cold enough that I could have functioned as the Matterhorn again, and he promptly let it drop.
“Got it. Celestia’s just cryptic,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and frowning momentarily. His grin soon came back in force, though, and I mentally prepared myself. “Luna must be the plothole.”
I sighed, letting him get it out of his system.
“And only together are they a pair of cryptic plotholes.” A snap of his talons summoned a list of all my friends and family. “What does that make Cadence, though? Is she—”
I was not going to let him finish that statement. My mind was already filled with all sorts of horridly gross images of what he could say about the alicorn of love, and I was sure he would say something at least ten times worse than anything I could come up with.
“Eep!” I cast the silence spell without thinking, letting Discord continue without a sound. It took a few seconds for him to realize something was wrong before he stopped to pout at me. The silent snap of his fingers stole the sound of a tree falling in the forest, restoring sound to the hall.
“Alright… alright…” he whined as he filled the list with some chicken scratches from an actual chicken. “I was just having a little fun.”
“Thank you.” I smiled my first real smile all day.
“Yes, well…” Discord coughed. “We have business to attend to.”
He clapped his paw and talon together, grinning. “You see, I was recently approached by somepony who wanted a meeting with one of the princesses. Of course, I said no, but he was just so insistent until—” He gasped, swooning as he held his talon to his forehead and wriggling his whole serpentine body from side to side. “Oh the equinety! When I actually bothered to listen to his tale?! He has just the most awful case of a friendship problem I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t help but scoop him up and bring him here for you! He’s waiting in the study for us!”
I fought the urge to massage my temples. A princess didn’t— Yeah, no. Not winning that fight this morning. I rubbed my forehead with one hoof as we moved along. Walking with three legs was a little awkward, but the relief from the slowly building headache was well worth it.
“And did you think to run a background check and see if this pony happened to be who he claimed to be?” I sighed.
He gave a nonchalant wave of his paw, brushing my worries off like they were nothing. “Relax, Princess; I got things handled. I magically locked every cabinet, door, chest and orifice that could even remotely hold some precious state secret, and I replaced all the documents in the room with a random collection of foals’ drawings.”
I arched an eyebrow at the slippery serpent beside me. “You actually took precautions? Just who did you put in my study?”
“You’ll find out.” We had arrived, and Discord chuckled softly as he opened the door, immediately setting off warning bells in my head. Unfortunately, he was already pushing me through the door. I tried to squirm my way out of his grasp, but it was too late.
“Don’t worry, Princess.” Discord slithered in after me. “I’ll be here the whole time. If he’s actually a threat, he’ll find himself dumped right in the middle of the guards’ training barracks in Canterlot faster than Tia orders cake for dessert every night. Isn’t that right, little princeling?”
His last statement was not addressed to me, but to the room we had entered.
That's a wrong thing to say. Not all laws are designed to protect people. There's no point to make all laws protect them. So remove the "all". Because if an entire legal system is designed to protect a certain group of people then how will you prosecute those people if they do something wrong?
First you say that laws exist to protect them, then you say laws are enacted ((this is wrong to say. Laws aren't "enacted" laws are created. Enact means to do, to get something done. It also means to have the role of)) then you say that laws are being created right now.
important*
highest priority NOT largest.
Thus these essays are ((I think it's incorrect this way))
Isn't essentialy the secret let out with this book a "state" secret? First you say you censor all secrets then you let one? You should say "all but one secrets".
Isn't it kind of ironic that a changeling understands better Twilight Sparkle than he does his own kind?
It's also really strange that you say this fic is going to focus on these two while the Queen that is in the cover. I am quite hopeful that you will have her play a prominent role. Otherwise the whole thing is the same as deceptive thumbnails in youtube.
The changeling writer is a changeling. Unless he considers himself Equestrian then how do you even suggest that the changelings were in control? Also ditch the world "complete". There is no complete of anything.
You mean crazyness?
Something tells me those three are in the wrong order.
and horn*
was being dumped* I doubt all the liters of ocean in that harbor moved themselves upon Twilight's castle.
Painful? More like instant death. Unless you suggest the sun can be walked upon in Equestria.
For the record why do you go around it like that? Just say "Royal Canterlot Voice" and be done with it.
Twilight is Luna's descendant? How... that would actually suggest she had a husband or... you know what? I'll let you reveal that. Cause it's quite distracting.
At this point I have to wonder what the fuck tree and what the fuck Celestia. Seriously are these two talking in some way? How did the tree know what to do? Isn't the tree like a force? How come Celestia's and the tree's opinions coincide? Why does the tree castle have the friggin map in it that directs them where to go and how does it know where they are needed? Seriously by now I know the tree is a gigantic plot device or it is created by Celestia. I doubt the tree was so close to the castle by chance.
But enough of that.
By now you meticulously spent 4-5 paragraphs of describing ((please don't get offended)) utterly pointless stuff and succeeded in distracting me from noticing what's important. What you should have done is slowly describe stuff while the two were talking, and not dumpt the lot of this into my way. Also the sheer size of the chapters really takes a lot of time to read and that's something I don't like doing.
I spent two paragraphs getting into Twilight's thoughts, and NOW you tell me someone snuck up on her? How blind must she and Discord be not to notice someone like that? He must have been in the back of the door or something, otherwise I can't explain it.
You know it's funny how Chrysalis refers to them as subjects and Twilight as Minions but I'm going to give you a break since I've told you about this earlier.
Caste is ((as far as I know)) a societal term. That would suggest Twilight thinks he is the same rank of Chrysalis. While that may be true she doesn't know/have confirmed it. I am sure she doesn't exactly know if this difference is an indicator of status or actual biological differencies.
Stop giving Twilight author insight. In any case I get that we're dealing with unreliable narrator but there's a small problem... Why couldn't this mean simply that he's shorter than Chrysalis?
Who is speaking here? It's not clear. And I assume Morpheus is glaring at Discord? Why? Also same for future lines. Make it clear who is speaking.
"should have"? Why should have? delete the Should have. I don't understand it's purpose either.
pragmatic language? How is Prench artistic either? How is one more pragmatic than the other since both have latin roots? I... I don't get it at all.
Who's voice?
Where the ' " ' to end this here? Why is there even an ending if his speech continues immdiately? Moving on.
What does this have to do with anything...
Here in comparison I can say this distraction of one-two paragrapsh of Discord speaking isn't at all a distraction because it is in Discord's character to speak that way.
Doesn't that actually make knowledge the hivemind gets precede over singular knowledge meaning that most of the knowledge one has about the world comes from the hivemind? And how do changelings even decide what gets in the hivemind and what doesn't? Or does this essentially mean that changelings instantly share everything? TOO MANY QUESTIONS. But I guess this is the "quick" explanation.
Wow wow wow... hold that thought. Does the hivemind as a whole have a personality or something? Didn't you say up until now that the hivemind contained only knowledge? I don't quite get it.
I could just say here "Show don't tell" but... WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW!!! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! Opened a small dimension? From where? What? And also WHAT? How did that look like? How did it happen? Don't just throw these!
A small bubble of what? What? And again WHAT? Seriously are you just saying that that space was the size of a hammer? Explain.
How the bloody hell does arcane writing look different? Again... show don't tell! I get it it's a magical diagram but is the writing runes? Letters? What is it?
If it is theoretical it means it can't yet be done. If she has never seen it how does she even recognize it is a sub-circle?
Missing word "even".., with a ten feet* pole. Otherwise it's oddly specific.
Okay if you're trying to be crypto/dramatic like star wars then you're failing. Because I don't actually give a bloody damn about the changelings that had to die to get this. You know why? ((also I'm sorry if I'm being a bit rude)) Because I consider it stupid that they had to. Not because they had to get the spell I get that. I simply don't understand why they had to die... I know the reason they did it but I think it's quite stupid to see people die without there being any visible risk about it.
Okay I have a question. Is this contract going to last until the end of times or something? Do we really need to doom another species to eternal servitude for a moment of desperation? You do realize that this is kind of subjugating all the races to the ponies slowly right? Add to that the herd mentality and you've got a globalisation effect that sickens me to the core.
Oh yes Morpheus. They were simply secret books before you found them and you've decided to make them public for a whole species! That's a step backwards. Also who guarantees me that there aren't still changelings ((like the ones you suggested performed coups against the prince)) willing to steal such knowledge and actually using it against others?
How? I mean there's being cut from a different cloth, and there's being polar opposites. How does a kid turn like that? I just... you know you had better explain this. Chrysalis had better have her own voice in here cause you're gonna need it.
Did you just say globalisation changes another species's mentality? How... they are predators. They have to "kill" something don't they? This is getting more confusing by the minute.
You mean to tell me that they are going to agree to every and any war they intigate? Like really? It's better to say "if they were attacked in the meantime..." or something.
Does that suggest the prince has some control over what is shared? I mean he just clearly said ((at least to me)) that some changelings thought of this. My question is this... why didn't they do it?
Mead okay.. boar? Did you seriously just say Luna ate mandraboar? Isn't that still meat?
that a valid term?
You know that actually brings a problem as to why there would only be three. What happens when a changeling wants to imitate a creature that's not a pony?
Or is simply and plainly stupid?
Okay now I REALLY have to ask. HOW THE HELL DID YOU SURVIVE BEFORE!!!
Consciousness
Did she destroy the contract or the illusion of it? Also there is no such word as "baser".
Congratu-fucking-lations changeling prince. You just made the deaths of your oh-so-precious contract invalid. If you had just reforged or erased part of the signatures then it would be nice. But what you did just rendered a lot pointless and useless.
With the time the prince said he has I bet one month is too late. *shrug*
This is a TIRING read to say the least. The GIGANTIC chapters that took hours to comment upon do NOT help.
5948003
only in winter, when it is less hot
To be nitpicky (and, to my excuse, Twilight IS nitpicky (and probably a Grammar Nazi as well)), it would be "Spike and me" instead of "Spike and I."
A good way to keep track of when to use "me" is that "me" is always used behind a preposition - on, behind, before (in this case, by).
He also has a higher track record of betraying Equestria and nearly dooming all of you to slavery under Tirek. And that is when he's not going out of his way to annoy you, personally. Unlike Blueblood, who isn't even around.
Seriously, princess, your priorities are totally messed up. I'm not sure I trust you with negotiations after this.
Wait, Twilight is Luna's Great^X Granddaughter?
Or is Discord generalizing that all ponies are Luna/Celestia/Faust's descendants/creations?
... It's amazing. I don't know how to even be nitpicky here. Either I'm too engrossed in the story or you've done everything right, I absolutely love it. I mean, the exposition! The character introducti0ns! THE FACT THAT CHAPTER ONE GETS STRAIGHT TO THE POINT. Too many stories give too much backstory. This is very well presented. Now, I could probably give legitimate good feedback but this story is on too much of a hype train to stop at a station so IMMA READ THE NEXT TEN CHAPTERS. Bravo I say, Bravo!
Oooh! This was a little slow to start, but that First Chapter Ending is just GREAT! <3
Also you did a great job capturing the essence of discord! <3