//------------------------------// // Start of Negotiations (Twilight) Part 1 // Story: dC/dt ≠ 0 // by I Thought I Was Toast //------------------------------// Changing Times’s Notes: First and foremost, I feel the need to emphasize that my largest priority with gathering these reports is not to make an objective historical account of our peace negotiations with the changelings. There are already plenty of historians that are trying to do that, and we do not need another. Rather, it is my goal to inspire hope in our potential future with the changelings. Even today, there is doubt and uncertainty surrounding them, but it is my wish to sooth the fears of the populace and show how we can truly coexist. Start of Negotiations: A Report by Princess Twilight Sparkle of Equestria I suppose I should begin with the day the Mo and I met, shouldn’t I? It was a rather... chaotic day. Discord showed up uninvited with an unwanted guest, and I had the mother of all diplomatic situations dumped on me by an enemy of the state. What was I supposed to think? What was I supposed to do? Honestly, I was probably more stressed and afraid than I remember. Knowing what I know now, though—knowing what would ultimately come from this meeting—my fears seem so silly and unnecessary. The first and only warning I needed that today was going to be a bad day was blearily opening my eyes to find myself staring into a different pair of red and gold ones. It was far, far too early for this, and I sighed internally as I pretended to go back to sleep. I was not in the mood to deal with any kind of draconequi that day. “Oh, Princess, time to get up…” Discord’s voice was, as ever, somewhere between charming and grating. “Mrgmfff….” I turned to my other side. “Twilight…” he groaned, summoning an alarm clock to ring in my ears with a snap. “Please get up. I don’t have time for your games right now, and Celestia’s given me a load of work heavier than that flaming ball of cake-fuelled indigestion she has floating around the planet.” It was a trick. It had to be. Everything was tricks and pranks with Discord – even his work – and I was not in the mood to get up from bed to be instantly pranked. If he was going to mess with me, I was at least going to enjoy a little bit of satisfaction in denying him for as long as I could. Really, it was only logical to bury my head under my pillow and try to make him magically disappear. The draconequis-who-was-not-there heaved an extravagant sigh. “Alright, little Miss Know-it-all, just remember that you could have avoided this.” There was the insidious thunderclap of cracking knuckles, and hiding beneath the pillows suddenly seemed like a much less intelligent decision. A flash of something managed to penetrate my feathery shield, but I wasn’t sure it was lightning. Knowing Discord, it could have been the brilliant flash of maroon flavored alfalfa. “Shoo.” I heard his fingers snap and felt a distinct lack of my wings or horn. Whereas before I had been annoyed, now I was livid. I started to round on him to give him a piece of my mind when I heard the second snap. “Bee.” I pulled in a breath, but found myself choking on the air as if it were thin soup. My lungs felt strangely empty, and as I spied my new seahorse-like tail and felt something suspiciously like gills on my neck, I understood. I glared at Discord, and he grinned like a madman with fine taste in tea and hats. “Doo.” It was at this point a veritable ocean decided to deluge itself upon me. Hard and fast, the water essentially pinned me to the bed. I couldn’t move to intercept Discord, so I decided to simply wait things out with a sigh. I should have known provoking Discord would make him do something like this. It was always easier to just go along with what he wanted. Eventually, the flooding stopped, and I was able to take stock of my surroundings again. The draconequus had at least been considerate enough to leave my belongings dry, although my bed was damp from the water I was shedding on it. My dresser and vanity were fine, although the mirror appeared to have a light coating of mist, the pillows and rugs in front of the fireplace appeared just as cozy as ever, and the books—must not forget those—were all in perfectly pristine condition. Discord just floated there with that smug smile of his. His serpentine body coiled about the air above me, idling back as if resting in one of Rarity’s many fainting couches. “Ready, Your Highness?” “You do know most ponies would have used a bucket of water, right?” The room rumbled as I spoke—my glower rigid and strong. My very bones ached from the vibrations I put into the words, and I inwardly cheered at such a successful use of what Celestia called her ‘To the Sun’ voice. Discord merely chuckled at my statement, however, and lightly patted me on my head. “Oh, that’s so sweet. Maybe one day you’ll even sound as grim as your oh-so-sunny teacher.” He winked, slinking through the air around me like a serpent constricting its prey. “Until then, try to keep in mind who she perfected that little trick on. Now, are you coming? If not, I have several more arguments that I’m sure you’ll find very persuasive.” It was tempting—it really was—but, in the end, logic won, and I relented with an exasperated sigh. “Fine… but this had better be good. Can you fill me in on the way, or are you going to be nothing but an enigmatic plothole?” Discord laughed and flew to the door, opening it for me. “I thought Celestia was the enigmatic one.” I shook my head trotting down the hall. “No, she’s the cryptic one.”            It was a quiet snicker, but it was a snicker, and, if there’s one thing you learn with Discord, it’s that it’s the quiet laughter you need to worry about. “So you’re saying Celestia is a cryptic plothole?” He grinned. My glare was cold enough that I could have functioned as the Matterhorn again, and he promptly let it drop. “Got it. Celestia’s just cryptic,” he grumbled, crossing his arms and frowning momentarily. His grin soon came back in force, though, and I mentally prepared myself. “Luna must be the plothole.” I sighed, letting him get it out of his system. “And only together are they a pair of cryptic plotholes.” A snap of his talons summoned a list of all my friends and family. “What does that make Cadence, though? Is she—”            I was not going to let him finish that statement. My mind was already filled with all sorts of horridly gross images of what he could say about the alicorn of love, and I was sure he would say something at least ten times worse than anything I could come up with. “Eep!” I cast the silence spell without thinking, letting Discord continue without a sound. It took a few seconds for him to realize something was wrong before he stopped to pout at me. The silent snap of his fingers stole the sound of a tree falling in the forest, restoring sound to the hall.            “Alright… alright…” he whined as he filled the list with some chicken scratches from an actual chicken. “I was just having a little fun.”            “Thank you.” I smiled my first real smile all day.            “Yes, well…” Discord coughed. “We have business to attend to.” He clapped his paw and talon together, grinning. “You see, I was recently approached by somepony who wanted a meeting with one of the princesses. Of course, I said no, but he was just so insistent until—” He gasped, swooning as he held his talon to his forehead and wriggling his whole serpentine body from side to side. “Oh the equinety! When I actually bothered to listen to his tale?! He has just the most awful case of a friendship problem I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t help but scoop him up and bring him here for you! He’s waiting in the study for us!” I fought the urge to massage my temples. A princess didn’t— Yeah, no. Not winning that fight this morning. I rubbed my forehead with one hoof as we moved along. Walking with three legs was a little awkward, but the relief from the slowly building headache was well worth it. “And did you think to run a background check and see if this pony happened to be who he claimed to be?” I sighed.            He gave a nonchalant wave of his paw, brushing my worries off like they were nothing. “Relax, Princess; I got things handled. I magically locked every cabinet, door, chest and orifice that could even remotely hold some precious state secret, and I replaced all the documents in the room with a random collection of foals’ drawings.”            I arched an eyebrow at the slippery serpent beside me. “You actually took precautions? Just who did you put in my study?” “You’ll find out.” We had arrived, and Discord chuckled softly as he opened the door, immediately setting off warning bells in my head. Unfortunately, he was already pushing me through the door. I tried to squirm my way out of his grasp, but it was too late. “Don’t worry, Princess.” Discord slithered in after me. “I’ll be here the whole time. If he’s actually a threat, he’ll find himself dumped right in the middle of the guards’ training barracks in Canterlot faster than Tia orders cake for dessert every night. Isn’t that right, little princeling?” His last statement was not addressed to me, but to the room we had entered.