A Ray of Hope
Trials of Blood and Kindness
-
Chapter 9
A Ray of Hope
“Are you sure we should be here instead of at our daughter’s birthday party?” Rainbowshine asked as she fixed her puffy mane. “And why here of all places?” She looked around as rays of sunlight blinded her slightly. On her left side was the entrance to a restaurant. Her flank was comfortably perched on a white cloud while a hay sandwich and muffin laid on a blue table. Even after living in Cloudsdale her entire life, she was still amazed what one could make with clouds.
“Relax,” Blaze said as he gently grabbed his wife’s forehoof and stroked it. “Nothing ruins a good party faster than overprotective parents. We shouldn’t embarrass our daughter in front of her classmates.” His wife nodded, but the distress didn’t leave her face. “Is something still bothering you?”
“It does. I am worried about Fluttershy. She's still so devastated after all this time.” Rainbowshine continued with a whisper, “She can heal others’ wounds with her powers, but not the scars on her innocent heart.”
“Excuse me.”
Both pegasi turned to the source of the voice, as a familiar smiling face caught their attention. “Yes?”
“Did I overheard the name Fluttershy?”
Rainbowshine nodded. ”You heard right, miss… umm... May I ask your name?” She examined the young mare’s features, stopping at her unusual eyes.
“Oh right. My name is Ditzy Hooves, but everypony calls me Derpy. Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Ditzy. Do you know Fluttershy?”
She nodded. “Not personally. But I attend the same school. Because of a few issues with my flying and sight problems, I was held back a few classes. When I found out that there was another pony with similar problems, I tried to cheer her up with a– muffin!” Ditzy looked predatorily at the muffin on the table and licked her lips.
“One day I was about to deliver her a ‘have a nice day’ muffin, only to find out that her mansion was…” Her cheerful smile fell as her ears dropped. “I was devastated. I was afraid that something horrible happened to Fluttershy. Is she alright?”
“She is,” Blaze said. “Our daughter brought her to our home and told us what happened, and we’ve been taking care of her ever since. Rainbow Dash is having her birthday party today. If you want to see Fluttershy, she will be there.”
“Thank you!” Ditzy said as she spread her wings and and flapped them joyfully. She flew up, but then quickly landed back, her hooves sinking into the clouds. “Umm… where is Dash’s party taking place?”
“In our house,” Blaze responded.
Ditzy nodded. “On it.”
Dash’s parents watched as the pegasus disappeared behind cloudy buildings, only to appear again, flying back at them. Their eyes opened widely and they both flinched when the young pegasus slammed into the table. Ditzy shook fragments of wood from herself before asking, “Where is your home?”
“Come on, Fluttershy, it is just a party,” Rainbow Dash said as she tried to pull Fluttershy out of her room, a feat she found very difficult to accomplish now that her friend was at full strength. If she learned anything about Fluttershy in the past few weeks, it was to never provoke her during a hoof wrestle. Luckily, repairing the hole in the floor wasn’t too expensive.
“I… please, no,” Fluttershy squeaked as she held her ground, her hooves sunk into the floor.
“You have to lighten up a bit,” Dash responded, adding her wings into pulling her friend, but Fluttershy used her own to counter it. “Come on… it will be fun,” Dash said as he pulled with all of her strength, while her friend resisted it without dropping a sweat.
“But… there will be so many ponies watching, so many… I cannot,” Fluttershy responded before putting more effort into her resistance. Her rear hooves sank deeply into the floor as she used way too much strength, accidentally launching Dash at the wall. “S-sorry,” she said before running to help her friend, who was now stuck in a pony-shaped hole.
Dash slowly stood back up to her hooves and wiped the puffy cloud leftovers from her shoulders. Unable to force or convince her friend into participating in her birthday party, Fluttershy had left her no choice. After looking around to make sure that they were alone, Dash twisted her forehooves together and dropped her ears, while also widening her eyes. “Pleaaase…” she said with the cutest and most pleading puppy stare she could pull of.
Fluttershy just stared back at Dash. Her shy nature and fear of crowds began fighting against her guilt and desire to not disappoint her friend. She slowly looked to the side and murmured, “If… if you really want that.”
“Great, let's go,” Dash instantly said with renewed enthusiasm. She spread her wings, quickly grabbing Fluttershy’s foreleg before flying outside. While none of the rooms inside the house were big enough to hold a party, the outside platform on the second floor could fit enough ponies.
Rays of sun shone brightly over the party, forcing Fluttershy to cover her eyes with her wing. After a moment to adapt, she looked around. In the center of the platform was a long table that Dash’s parents brought from the dining room. The table itself contained a three level strawberry cake with fourteen candles decorating it. On several trays on the table were cupcakes, cookies, and muffins.
The platform itself was spacious enough for eight guests. For entertainment they had prepared slingshots aimed at small clouds to serve as a target, and a mid-air volleyball court for pegasi.
Fluttershy quickly hid her face behind her mane and shrank a little. She felt overwhelmed by the cheerful crowd as two classmates ran towards her with shocked expressions.
Rainbow Dash looked between her friend and classmates, quickly noticing Fluttershy's distress.
Dash knew Fluttershy for a long time and always viewed her as a hesitant and weak filly, a pony with a flying disability who was forced to endure the laughter and bullying of her classmates. However, ever since the race that nearly claimed her life, she met the real Fluttershy: a strong, dependable, and powerful thestral with a kind personality, who always pushed herself forward, fought against her own weaknesses, and practiced her flying day after day while enduring the weakening sun rays.
However, what she was seeing now wasn’t the facade of a weak, defenseless filly that Fluttershy displayed in the past. Neither could she see the brave and kind pony willing to help her friends. What she saw was nothing but a broken pony, way more vulnerable than the filly she once pretended to be.
Before that tragedy, Fluttershy didn’t hesitate to talk with the others. She had no trouble with ignoring their mocking remarks either. And now…
Rainbow Dash bit her lips as she thought deeply about her friend. I hardly recognize her anymore… Dash lowered her head and sighed, her ears and wings dropping. She is barely talking with Mom and Dad, refuses to go to school, the presence of other ponies terrifies her… she's even afraid of her own shadow.
Dash grit her teeth and closed her eyes tightly. Why? Why Flutters? She doesn’t deserve any of this! She slammed her forehoof against the platform before taking a few slow breaths. Slowly raising her head, she looked at her classmates who in the past were making jokes about Fluttershy, and now tried to cheer her up with words of condolence, displaying happiness over the fact that she was still alive.
It seems Fluttershy isn’t the only pony that changed… I am no longer an immature prankster who sought attention by causing trouble for the teachers. And they aren’t mean bullies anymore who like to laugh at another pony’s misery. A satisfied smile grew across her lips. We are no longer mean fillies and colts, but young mares and–
“Hey, isn’t that Rainbow Crash and Flutter Snitch?” called a familiar voice.
“So much for the maturity,” Dash murmured as she recognized the pony. “Dumb-Bell. What are you doing in my birthday party? You were not invited.”
The bronze pegasus smirked. “I borrowed an invitation. April Showers won’t be missing much anyway. As for why I am here...” He looked around before examining his raised forehoof with a bored expression. “I just wanted to see the disaster your party would turn out to be.” He looked to the side at Fluttershy. “I see you invited that loser of a pegasus who was too scared to show in class, or even leave a note to say that she’s still alive. Why am I not surprised?”
Dash spread her wings aggressively and shot him a glare. “Don’t you dare call her names!” She approached until their muzzle touched. “You’ve been bullying her without a break ever since our race. A race you couldn't even win.” He frowned and stomped at this remark before Dash continued, “You’re not welcome here.”
“She deserves it,” Dumb-Bell pointed out. “Because of her, my parents grounded me for months, and I had to say goodbye to hanging out with my buddies until my grades improved.” His wings spread as he pushed his muzzle against Dash’s. “My reputation suffered ever since. Do you have any idea how much time passed before I was invited into a cool party?”
“S-sorry,” Fluttershy said quietly, while the other guests shot their classmate disapproving glances.
“You have nothing to apologize for Fluttershy,” Dash said as she got between the bully and her friend. “And you. Didn’t you hear what happened to her? Show some respect!”
Dumb-Bell rolled his eyes. “Oh right, her parents. Tragic,” he said with mocking tone as he raised a hoof to his forehead, faking a dramatic pose. “I would care much more if she had the guts to at least tell us that she is alive. A lot of students thought she was dead.” He shrugged. “But whatever. I will give her a break for today.”
Dash felt urge to kick the insensitive bully in the flank in front of her classmates, but another familiar figure approached. “Hey Gilda!” she said, waving her foreleg at the gryphon.
“Sup Dash,” Gilda said as she approached with a relaxed posture. She raised her foreclaw and asked, “Wanna play volleyball? I will be careful with my talons this time.”
“Maybe later. Right now I need to show this unwelcomed guest the exit.”
Gilda looked at Dumb-Bell and smirked. “Say no more Dash, leave the rest to me." She grabbed the pegasus’ foreleg with her talons and pulled him. “I need to have a word with you. Do we have a minute?”
“No!” Dumb-Bell said before finding himself on the edge of platform.
“Okay, you have ten seconds to tell me why you came to ruin my buddy’s party. Then I will kick your flank,” Gilda said as she exposed her talons threateningly.
The bully frowned. “Pfff… You try to act cool and all, but you still hang out with that Dash loser.”
“Seven…”
“You think you scare me?”
“Five…”
“Fine. I came here to make fun of Dash. She cheated on that race, and after that Flutter Snitch told the coach that I was the one who challenged her. They got me into a lot of trouble. Since I still can’t attend parties with my buddies, I decided to mess Dash’s birthday party a bit to repay her. There, I said it, happy?”
“One…”
Dumb-Bell took a step back in surprise. “What? But I answered your question!”
True to her word, Gilda kicked him in the flank, pushing him off the platform onto a cloudy house below. The pegasus’ wings kept him in mid air as he massaged his flank. “Why did you do that? I answered your stupid question!”
Gilda smirked. “I never said I wouldn’t kick your flank if you answered it.” The pegasus growled and flew away, leaving Rainbow Dash with a satisfied smile.
As Gilda came back, Dash said, “Nice to see you here. This party just got a lot cooler.”
“Duh. There’s no way I would miss my buddy’s birthday party.” With a smirk, Gilda asked, “Side note, how much cooler this party became with me around?”
Dash shrugged and said, “Twenty percent, I suppose... “ A grin grew on her lips. “Twenty percent cooler… it has a nice ring to it.”
“Only twenty, and here I thought I was better than that,” Gilda joked before pointing at the other pegasi. “Are you ready to show those losers how to play volleyball in the sky?”
“Not yet,” Dash responded before pointing at Fluttershy. “I’m trying to lift my friend’s spirit and make her enjoy the party. She hasn't been herself ever since the accident.”
Gilda nodded before taking a step towards Fluttershy, who flinched in response. “Sup.”
“H-hello,” the young mare responded. She raised her forehoof towards Gilda, as the memory of her healing birds flashed in her mind, but shrunk back immediately as her inner fears won over.
“Hey, I remember you. You’re that pegasus who was poor at flying. So you didn’t hit the coffin like your parents after all,” Gilda said as she examined Fluttershy’s features, ignoring Dash’s weak punch on her shoulder.
“Y-yes,” Fluttershy responded as she shrunk even more. She looked at the floor, wishing she could sink into it without falling to the ground.
“Way to be subtle,” scolded Dash, causing Gilda to scratch the back of her own neck nervously.
“Oh...” the griffon said as she kept her eyes on the pegasus drowning in self-pity in front of her. “Sorry about that. I’m not good with this kind of stuff.”
After not receiving any response, Gilda decided to give a lecture. “Where I come from, always comes a day when a bird is thrown from the nest to learn how to fly, just like we get kicked away to live on our own.” The griffon’s words did little but make Fluttershy squeak nervously. “I will probably be kicked from my home soon to start my independent life. Just say to yourself that you were sent away to live on your own, and that your parents just don’t want to see you anymore.”
“I...” Fluttershy started as she stood shakily. “I don’t feel too well.” She went back inside slowly, as Dash facehoofed and shoot Gilda a disappointed glare.
The griffon blinked in confusion and said, “I screwed this up, didn’t I?
“You think?” Dash asked.
Both Dash and her friend started at each other, unsure of what to say. The silence was interrupted by a question from a guest. “We finished forming two teams for the game, but there is still one free spot on each team. Are you joining or not?”
Dash looked towards the entrance as her ears dropped. As much as she wished to cheer up her depressed friend and convince her to give this party a chance, she simply didn’t know how to anymore. “Sure, why not. It’s best to give Flutters some time to calm down.”
As Dash flew towards Surprise with Gilda by her side, the griffon asked curiously, “Why didn't you stop her from leaving? Maybe a game of volleyball would distract her or something.”
“I’d rather not,” Dash responded with a sheepish smile. “There is no way I can convince or force her to join us anyway.”
“Really?” the griffon raised her eyebrow. “It’s not like you to give up that easily.”
The pegasus stretched herself and massaged her foreleg. “I just think that she needs some time alone.” Dash chuckled, thinking of words that would lighten the gloomy atmosphere.
“Besides, In this case it is better to simply give up, trust me.” She pointed at the entrance to her house. “I don’t want my dad to yell at us for decorating the walls of the house with holes in my shape.” She grinned at the confusion on the griffon's face. "She is stronger than she looks."
Fluttershy locked herself in Dash’s room, a place her friend generously shared with her. The uncomfortable feeling of guilt and anxiety didn’t leave her for even a moment.
She looked at the door and raised her trembling foreleg, struggling to gather the courage to participate in her friend’s birthday party, but she couldn’t. The very concept of talking with ponies terrified her. Images haunted her mind: her secret identity slipping during a conversation, her classmates’ screams summoning hunters looking to finish what they started. “I’m sorry,” she murmured as her ears dropped.
After a quiet whimper left her mouth, Fluttershy noticed the sunrays out of the corner of her eye. She shut the curtains to block the unpleasant light and perched herself atop the cloudy bed, sinking into the soft surface. Mom, Dad… I miss you… Her eyes watered.
Fluttershy pressed her head against the cloud that served her as a pillow, seeking its comfort. She embraced it tightly, hoping against hope it could take the pain away while her tears sank into it. What should I do…?
Despite Dash and her parents’ acceptance and all the help they offered, attempting to cheer her up and even sharing their blood, Fluttershy felt as if something was amiss, a void that even they couldn’t fill. Where do I go, what do I do? Those two questions once again repeated themselves in her mind. Her confusion only grew each time she searched for the answer, and failed to attain it. Until now, her parents had always pointed the best direction. Studies of biology, animals care center, veterinary clinic, age altering spell, flight school, home teaching. Despite her old age, she was still trapped in young mare’s body, and certainly felt like one as she wished to feel mommy and daddy's embrace.
Fluttershy hugged the cloud with even greater strength, until it slowly stretched and split into two, desperately imagining her parents holding her in a tight embrace. But try as she liked, the softness of the cloud couldn’t replace the warmness of her parent's chests.
“What do I do… Mom, Dad… guide me, please,” she murmured to herself before looking towards the window, staring at curtains that blocked the light of the sun which everypony cherished so much. The sun that she had endured for hours everyday when going to flight school, now enticed her with painful road to reunite her with her parents.
Fluttershy shook her head and resisted the temptation. She knew the pain of losing somepony important, and she wouldn’t dare to inflict that on her friend.
Where should I go, what should I do? thought Fluttershy as her body shivered. The world outside this window was filled with ponies that would want to hurt her… hunters waiting for a chance to get her head as a trophy. She embraced her hind legs with her forelegs and curled into a ball.
Fluttershy closed her eyes and murmured, “I’m scared… where will my future lead me, what destination should I take?” she sobbed. I know that I cannot stay in this house forever, that I will need to leave sooner or later, but where? I do not want to leave.
Minutes passed while she heard Dash playing outside and enjoying the party with her classmates. Not that she could blame her. Her friend had tried to cheer her up and fill her with confidence so many times, and today she once again wasted her precious time.
Fluttershy’s solitude was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door. “W-who’s there?” she asked nervously, half of the cloud that had served as a pillow now held tightly between her forelegs.
“It’s me, Ditzy!” the muffled voice came from behind the door.
Fluttershy used her senses to examine the pony behind the closed door, and while she hadn’t seen Ditzy for more than half an year, she could still recognize her unique heartbeat.
“Ditzy? C-come in.” The door opened as an enthusiastic pegasus flew inside. “No, wait,” the vampony tried to say as she stood, but was too slow to evade the bodyslam. The cloudy bed shattered over the entire room as both pegasi were stuck in the wall.
“My bad,” Ditzy said as she and Fluttershy freed themselves. Fluttershy started wiping herself from the cloud-leftovers, only to be trapped in a tight hug. “I thought you were dead. Don’t do this again, please!”
“I… I’m really sorry. I was confused and afraid.”
“Say no more,” Derpy answered before pulling out a muffin from her saddlebag. “Strawberry muffin with a special surprise, just for you.”
Fluttershy blinked in confusion as she looked at the muffin presented to her. “Thank you, but I’m not…” She trailed off at Derpy’s pleading expression, forelegs curled under her neck and pout on her face. “Well, if you ask so nicely...”
“Yaaay!”
Fluttershy took a bite and a satisfied “mmm” followed as she felt the very original flavour. A few bites later, she licked her lips and said, “I missed your blood flavoured muffins. Ditzy.”
“And I missed sharing them.”
Both mares ate their snack and talked about good times as the atmosphere became a bit less depressing.
Their somewhat cheerful reunion raised Fluttershy’s curiosity as she decided to learn more about her friend. “Umm, may I ask you a personal question, if that’s okay with you?”
“I’ll be happy to answer.”
Fluttershy nodded before gathering her confidence as she rubbed her foreleg. “I was always curious, but never had the courage to ask… How is life treating you… as a half-breed thestral?”
“Good,” Derpy responded with her never vanishing smile.
“Really? But it must be hard from time to time.”
“It is,” Derpy said. “Being under the sun makes me more clumsy than usual, and my sight problems certainly don't help, but I got used to it.”
Fluttershy scratched back of her neck nervously. “And when others laugh at you?”
“Then I’m happy that they’re happy. I may even laugh alongside them.”
“And all the accidents you have? And the need to drink blood?” Fluttershy asked as her muzzle pressed against Ditzy’s.
Derpy puffed her chest. “No biggy. My mom feeds me a few drops everyday and dad says I have a body of steel.” She grabbed her friend by the shoulder and gestured with her forehoof around the room. “No matter what challenges you will face or troubles you are in. Always face them with a smile.”
Fluttershy looked at the floor. “I’m not sure I can. I don’t even know what I should do.”
The grey pegasus placed her wing on her friend’s back and continued, “When I see others happy, it makes me happy. Do you make anypony happy?”
“Umm…” Fluttershy rubbed her chin in contemplation. “Dash’s parents… I guess.”
“Did you feel better when it happened?”
Fluttershy’s ears straightened and a weak smile appeared on her lips. “I did.”
“Than how about going through life by making everyone happy?”
With growing confidence, the pureblood thestral stomped firmly and said, “You’re right, Ditzy. If I wasn’t there to save Rainbow Dash, her family would be grieving just like I was this whole time. Maybe there are animals and ponies I can still help with my powers.”
“That’s the spirit. You can start by moving to Ponyville and help there.”
“Yes, I… wait, Ponyville? Why there?” Fluttershy asked with confusion.
Derpy smiled awkwardly and blushed. “Oh, right. I forgot to tell you. Without your family to sustain the peace, Cloudsdale will soon turn into an underground… undercloud battlefield for many young purebloods and their newly formed clans. A huge fight over this territory between thestrals.”
"Oh," only one word left Fluttershy's mouth before her ears and wings straightened, her eyes widening. "Oh my!" Feeling as if her body turned into jelly, Fluttershy fainted against the soft floor.
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Derpy! Derpy! Derpy! Derpy! Thats all I can say Derpy! Derpy is so aewsome! I like this so far. Cant wait to see more
Someone really need to unite the Thestral clans and bring them to arms against the hunters.
The Hunters need to die.
It's just that simple now.
If Fluttershy's parents had killed them like they should have, they would still be alive.
If an enemy comes at you with intent to kill you or your friends or family, you kill them to prevent them from being able to do so then.
No... Fluttershy's parents should not have spared the Hunters, they should have killed them instead.
5932079 maybe, but not all hunters are bad, and not all vamponies are good.
5932190 But getting rids of them hunters will solve quite a few problems....And it clearly shown that the hunters will hunt them simply because they are thestral so...until i see a good hunter, i see all hunter are bad.
5932216 far enough,
but there wouldn't be any hunters if some of those vamponies didn't kill there families.
now, if the hunters were only hunting them just because they are different then I would agree with you all the way.
5931907
Thanks. Glad I wrote her right.
5932079
But if they do and win, who will keep them in check? Thestrals are both good and bad, and should they finish of the hunters, what will stop some pureblood villain to start some sort of campain against Equestria.
While what happened to Fluttershy's parrents was tragic, don't think that all thestrals are the same as them. After all, peaceful clans wouldn't start a war for teritory with each other.
Anyway. Should the clans unite under one leader, what will happen will depend on who this leader is. If he is a good thestral who would prefer peace over bloodsheed, than it give a chance for peaceful negotiations. Should it be power hungry villain, after hunters' defeat, the princess and Equestira would be next on the line.
5932183
While you have a point, sometime a war can be undone if one side decide not to fight. In this case it backfired as the opposite side used this weakness for their advantage, and this mistake cost them their lives, but it was their choise and consequences that came with it.
Now the question for Fluttershy is. Do she will follow their hoofsteps, or do she would need to restrain her peaceful nature to ensure her survival.
One think is certain. She can't stay in Cloudsdale, or else she will end up involved in this house war, and other pureblood thestrals would no doubt eliminate her to reduce the competition.
5932190
Correct. It is never simple.
5932216
I see your point, but so far you saw this from Fluttershy's perspective. You saw it from perspective of peaceful innocent family who wish to live in peace, and you saw hunters who eiter did their job out of duty or hate, and hunter who knew that they were innocent, but used this to fill his pocket.
On a sidenote. I wouldn't call thestrals who want to fight each other to gain territory the peaceful ones. Hopefully the sequel that focus on Fluttershy's adventures in Ponyville will give more light on a bigger picture.
5932249
I think that it depends on the hunters. Some hunt for cash, some hunt to protect, some hunt out of vengence, and some hunt because they believe that all thestrals are walking corpses and all purebloods are source of undead.
If you were told to hunt zombies before they turn your family, friends and innocent into more zombies, you would no doubt shot them first and ask questions later.
Also, if there are good hunters who would have a second thought about eliminating their target, I doubt the organization would keep them. I mean, who need monster hunters who hesitate to do their job because of morality.
So thats why Derpys so clumsy
Loving the story cant wait for more
Gilda and Derpy... the definition of subtle.
Ehh who and I kidding vampire Derpy is awesome
<---- I should know
5932305 thanks for the clear up.
LOVE your story still.
age race thestral about a thousand years or much older?
5932305 Nothing is true, everything is permitted.
No, I am not obssess with AC but this line is true in so many things...both literal and not.
5932249 so you agree with the hunters who hunt to only fill their pocket no matter if the family is innocent?
5933182 yes, but there are also bad vamponies, those hunters that killed fluttershy's parents are evil, for they kill for gold.
But think about it, their are always going to be good guys and bad guys on both sides of any battlefield, it isn't as easy as black and white.
Why are there hunters in the first place, to kill the monsters that killed their loved ones; because of those vamponies that killed in the past, their entire race are hunted like dogs. now don't get me wrong I am not supporting the hunters what so ever, both sides are guilty, and the innocent suffer, such is the way of vengeance.
Thank you for having this discussion with me.
5933257 You're welcome...Isn't it always like that? A BIG shade of gray area.
5933379 Eeyup.
5933076
Well. I didn't expand this world all that much yet, but I think that lifespan of common thestrals is few centuries. Purebloods on the other side can live for milenia. Not that any of them survived that long. At the moment the oldest pureblood have around 1 milenium and two-three centuries.
And then Fluttershy had the moment to think about how terrible that's going to be. Surprised to see Derpy being a half-blood...then again why not?
NOPONY WOULD SUSPECT DERPY HOOVES!
Ditzy caught me by surprise. It was a good one.
Also, a typo.
… How is life threatening you… as a half-breed thestral?”
I am pretty sure you want Fluttershy to say treating, rather than threatening.
Found some things you may want to edit.
That should be "at".
That should be "let's".
That should be "loser".
And that should probably be "feel".
way to be subtle derpy
5934826
5936595
Fixed, thanks.
5934774
Eeyup. No one ever suspects the inquis... I mean, Derpy Hooves.
5936821
I don't get it.
5936890
Derpy: My bad.
5938720 NOPOnY EXpeCtS tHe dERpY InQUIsITioN!!1
5938720 LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
I keep forgetting this is an X5 story. It just feels so... Different.
5934826
Hand over your wallet or I shoot! I swear I will! -Life, 2015.
Lovely. Nicely done.
Despite her old age, she was still trapped in young mare’s body
May I ask how long this story will be?
5949280
Thanks
5947780
What do you mean diferent? It is diferent story and diferent proof-reader/editor, but besides that, how is this diferent from my other work?
5954107
5954118
5954267
Fixed, thanks. Also, if you are pointing mistakes one at a time, it is better to make one comment pointing all mistakes than several pointing out, just saying.
5957299
Season 5, heh. That's going a bit far if you ask me.
5957685
Well... This story is already over. All there is missing is epilogue. Next there will be sequel that will focus on Fluttershy's adventures in Ponyville before Nightmare Moon's return (I plan to upload next story first with 3-4 chapters, and after it will appear, I will upload epilogue with link to this story. It is the best way to inform everyone about the sequel right away.
After this I plan to write about Nightmare Moon's return and we will see how it goes.
5957950 I can't put my hoof on it.
5957950 Over? AAAAWWWW!!!
This is the worst day ever...
Well, I suppose the Holocaust was worse...
BUT STILL!!!!!
6169431
I don't get it.
6169948 Because I LIKED this story...
6184976
Well, we are already working on the sequel (I and my editor Sage). It already have prologue, chapter 1 and chapter 2 ready. Once chapter 3 is done, I will upload Epilogue to this story, and sequel with prologue and first two chapters. Be patient.
is it weird that I think this answers the question "whats cuter then baby fluttershy? (or anything mlp in general) baby vampire fluttershy awww she so cute and (insert what ever seems appropriate here)"
*reading through*
Good, a chapter that won't be driving me insane. Just some fluffy moments with Flutter-
What.
*eye twitch* I'm...perfectly...*eye twitch* fine.
Man, power vacuums suck.
(Starts absent-mindedly tapping out a four-beat rhythm)
5932305 See the hunter who was cilled by Shackle (i wrote good his name?)
I would think Flutterbat wouldn't care anymore about the name calling. After having met those rotten to the core monster hunters and having seen her parents savagely killed in front of her I would think those bullies are just something she dismisses. Maybe you could have Fluttershy use the stare on Dumbbell.
Also Derpy kind of came out of nowhere. If she truly is friends with Flutterbat you should mention that clearly earlier in the story.
That's not how invitations work.