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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I just love this story.
on a banana though
Taking notes?
They don't have a Cheerilee emoticon, so, yeah. Next best thing?
For science!
hahahaha. that ending.
I can't breathe! I can't breathe! ROTFLMAO!!!
Cheerile's thoughs:
For reference only just making sure.
Spikes thoughs:
And applejacks feelings:
Amazing story 10/10
oh god, my ribs! oh that was hilarious.
Cheerilee feels she need to see Big Macintosh again.
Good thing I didn't have anything to drink when I read that ending...I would need a new monitor!
10/10!
Never gonna get the image of AJ dressed as 7 of 9 outta my head...
5674906
Now there's an idea for fanart. Any takers amongst you artists out there?
Well this chapter is just the sweetest thing I've seen so far this year
(Well... maybe the second sweetest.)
Imperturbable Apple Bloom is best threat to the grownup masquerade of being in control.
Applejack didn't get her husband's first dance? That's kinda heartbreaking in its way
I was imagining Spike going drill sergeant, pointing to random colts and fillies and ordering them to dance as a way to break the ice, and saying the only way to get out was to ask someone on their own first. Their way was probably better.
The Ponyville school building has a gym hall and locker room? The wonders of magical architecture.
On the one hand, they've gotta figure something out or that fire problem is gonna keep coming back to bite them. On the other hand, it is hilarious.
Hum... Big Mac is going to receive one good wrok from Cherelee.
the notes bit was icing on the cake.
5675092
Yeah, I'm gonna say that it's off to the side a bit, behind some trees. That's why you don't see it in any establishing shots in the show. (That's actually not too far-fetched. At my old school, you really could not see the gym hall while looking at the school building itself, because it was across the street and past some residential buildings.)
I mean, they have a cellar with a printing press. You'd think they have a gym somewhere, in case P.E. takes place while it's raining. ... Wait. Huh, actually you could just ask the pegasi to make sure there's good weather over school grounds for every P.E. class. Then I suppose you could get away with only having an outdoor sports ground, so never mind.
Am I overthinking this? Probably. Anyway, point being ... there's a gym. Why? Because I needed one for the joke to work.
5676754
I cannot fault this reasoning. And yeah, the newspaper printing room had slipped my mind
A.J., you sly mare.
Looks like Big Mac is going to get the best Hearts and Hooves day present of all!
Just when I feel like I caught up to you in the humor department, you put up a chapter like this. I might have to rewrite some of the jokes in my next chapter of HTN and step up my game.
5716303 Wow, what a wedding.
Hmm...
I have read every chapter of this as of the date of this post. But while I can see the similarities to many common romantic comedy tropes, (pair gets married in vegas because of being drunk/the girl got pregnant from their previous one night stand) the problem I have is that there is NOT a valid reason for these two to have gotten married. Neither was drunk, AJ wasn't pregnant, and from the way I read it they hadn't even had a single date, EVER. Combined with the fact that both of these characters are otherwise very level headed, and NOT prone to dramatic moments of spontaneity, this makes the idea that they would just up and decide to get married in such a manner utterly absurd. While I have female friends that I have known long enough, and are at least as close to them as canon AJ and Spike are to each other, if one of them suddenly came up to me and said "Lets get married!", I would be wondering "What the fuck is going on?" rather than going "Sure why not." (My already being married not factored into that.)
There just doesn't seem to be any reason for these two to have had any attraction to each other prior to getting married, and while they were friends for years, right now the only seeming reason they are attracted to each other is because they both like sex. Also the fact that AJ said the thing she loved the most about Spike was the sex is incredibly worrying. While a good relationship CAN, and usually does, have great sex, it doesn't start there. Either AJ doesn't know any better, or didn't really think about the question at all. The other possibility, and honestly the one I think is most likely, is that the author does not have any real relationship experience.
I also caught that little author mouthpiece moment with AJ about "waiting until married to have sex". Contrary to religious opinion/doctrine, being married does not magically make sex better. It's actually being in love with the person that does that. Marriage doesn't factor into it at all. For the wife and I, sex did not mystically improve after the wedding, and the only reason we got to have more of it afterward was that we got our own place. (Having your own place does improve your sex life, because it opens far more possibilities...)
Now all that being said, baring that entirely out of character action of getting married in such a manner, I actually enjoy this story so far. The characters (again baring my issue with why they got married) seem very natural and rather believable. Granny Smith isn't a racist bigot, but rather upset about not spending such a wondrous moment with her grandchild. Rarity isn't a jealous bitch, but rather never got to share the design she made specifically for the wedding of one of her closest friends. The, so far limited, friction between AJ and Spike due to the incredibly dramatic differences in upbringing are VERY well done. AJ is used to massive gatherings/events, but those are only family members, while Spike's circles include not just nobility, but the ruling royalty of both Equestria and the Crystal Empire.
All in all if there was simply a more believable reason for the pair to have gotten married, I would upvote this in a heartbeat. It's hitting all the right note for a great slice of life/romantic comedy, while still keeping true (baring the issue with the marriage) to the characters I have come to love. But that initial breach of my Suspension of Disbelief is so massively jarring, that it casts a tainted shadow over the rest of the work. I won't upvote this, let alone recommend it, but nor will I downvote it. It remains in my favorites so that I can see how it plays out to the end, but in all likelihood it will be removed later on.
5724563
First of all, I appreciate in-depth feedback. So thank you for taking the time to write such a long comment. It is appreciated.
Alright, let me respond to one thing at a time here.
Quite frankly, either of those would be far more out of character in my opinion. If you wanna know where the initial idea came from, it's from a Sitcom I like: Dharma and Greg. Couple gets married on their first date, families have to come to terms with it. So there's your trope. The idea I had for this story was basically to make something sitcom-like, not the romantic comedy movie. And this is the premise.
Well, if Rarity had asked for all reasons, then the answer would have been different. This is a young relationship, so the physical intimacy of it is still fresh for both of them. Thus it's on the forefront of AJ's mind. (Plus, she quite frankly wanted to tease Rarity with that statement.) At any rate, sex didn't play a part in their decision to get married.
I'd appreciate it if you refrained from speculating over my personal life just from reading my fiction. I've never been married, but I've had relationships. That doesn't impact how I think these characters will act in their relationship, however.
Mouthpiece? Reading a little much into a cheesy one-liner there, aren't you? I have zero problems with people having sex before they get married, and I don't think being married makes sex any better. I'm not religious in any way, shape or form, nor do I have any reason to speak out against sex before marriage on any moral reasoning. As I said earlier, I've never been married, but I've had sex. Sex is about having fun and being intimate with your partner, married or not. And yes, being in love makes it better, which should tell you something about Spike and AJ's feelings for each other. The only statement any of my stories are trying to convey is this: Sex should be fun for all involved. If you're not having fun, you're not doing it right.
Well, good for you. I mean that sincerely.
Thank you. That's all i can say to that.
Well, I'm sorry if the premise kills it for you. But keep in mind that two of the things you previously praised (Rarity and Granny's reactions) hinge on that very starting point of their unexpected wedding.
Again, thank you in all sincerity for your thoughts on the story (baring the issue of undue speculation on my personal life) and your honesty. I always like to hear what people liked and what they didn't like about a story. It helps me to see where I can still improve my writing.
I can't believe nobody's said it yet. So I will.
Ahem.
BANNED FROM HAVING SEX IN THE LOCKER ROOM!
*le sigh*
Such sexual deviants, hilarious!!