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Chapter 1: Cute Enough To Eat1,543 words
Chapter 2: Once you Pop you can’t Stop1,531 words
Chapter 3: Break Me off a Piece of That Kitty-cat923 words
Chapter 4: A Chowder of Cats1,682 words
Chapter 5: Temptress in a Teacup1,764 words
Chapter 6: Justice, with a Side of Kittens1,570 words
Chapter 7: Unnamed (auto named on publish)1,457 words
Chapter 8: Break the Cage1,441 words
Chapter 9: To Cage a Rainbow1,384 words
Chapter 10: The Prettiest Rainbow To Date2,710 words
Chapter 11: Soft kitty, Warm kitty, Little Ball of Fur1,591 words
Chapter 12: Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Purr, Purr, Purr.1,949 words
Chapter 13: Suddenly Summoning a Prismatic Protector1,623 words
Chapter 14: Applejack — Crackerjack of The Sea1,379 words
Chapter 15: Aquafriends!1,536 words
Chapter 16: Skilaðu til Hesturþorpið.*819 words

Chapter 7: Unnamed (auto named on publish)

Chapter 7: Unnamed (auto named on publish)
(Or: The Chapter Which must Not Be Named.)

“Wow, this is really good!” Scootaloo said, transferring another few scoops of Chinese food onto her plate.

“I know, right?” Sweetie Belle said, closing her eyes and smiling contentedly — Rarity would say ‘absolutely adorable’ in spite of, or because of, the sauce-stains around her muzzle.

“Now, Sweetie Belle… what would Rarity think about your appearance?” Fluttershy asked, offering the filly a napkin before returning to her plate.

“She’d say that she’s adorable!” Apple Bloom piped up, taking her now-empty plate to the sink.

“Ya know, I reckon she would.” Apple jack said, interrupting her hearty and enthusiastic eating to agree.

“I wonder how much longer it’ll be…” Twilight said, glancing towards the door where Rarity and Rainbow Dash were. “If they don’t hurry up, we’ll finish up all the food before they can get any.”

“Ah, don’t worry about them, luv. They’re big enough to take care of themselves.” Spike said with a wave of his hand.

“Why are you even here!?” Twilight Sparkle asked, pointing an accusing hoof at the vampire.

“Rainbow Dash invited me, remember?” Spike replied with a shrug before turning to the purple dragon sitting beside him, “So, Spike… you were going to tell me more embarrassing things about miss purple pants over there, right?”

“Embarrassing? I don’t think Twilight would like that… I mean she’s a great friend, and good with magic, but she doesn’t take being teased too well.” Spike replied, gesturing to the unicorn,

“Fair enough.” Spike said, “Though I heard that once she gets into a book she can’t hardly put it down.”

“That’s right.” Spike said, nodding, “One time she stayed up for three nights reading nothing but a series of books, Starswirl: Mage of Awesome.”

The dragon leaned in toward the vampire and whispered, “For the next month everything she talked about was related to Mage of Awesome… she even ‘borrowed’ some of Shining Armor’s Oubliettes and Ogres rule-books to make her own Mage of Awesome campaigns!”

“Spike!” Twilight said in that annoyed tone that only she and Buffy seemed to manage.

“What?” the dragon and vampire asked in unison, creating an odd stereo effect.

Twilight made a disgusted noise and shook her head in annoyance.

When it was apparent that the purple unicorn wasn’t going to say anything else Spike (the vampire) asked, “You wouldn’t happen to have a copy of those, would you?”

“Of course I do, back at the library next to my comics.” The dragon answered and, with a bit of a grin from knowing that it would tweak Twilight, added “Would you like to play a campaign or two?”

Picking up on the teasing-Twilight sub-text, Spike replied “I’d love to.”

Twilight just groaned and pinched the bridge of her nose — it was going to be one of those days, er, nights.

* * *

The needle, held in Rarity’s magic, hovered over the pegasus as if waiting for Rainbow Dash to quit moving. There was a bit of thread trailing behind that eventually made its way to the pegasus’s side.

“Hold still! If you wouldn’t flinch every two stitches we’d already be done.” Rarity scolded Rainbow Dash yet again.

“But it hurts!” Rainbow Dash argued, stamping all four of her feet for emphasis in a pattern that would have been cute for a filly… which is why the action ended up making her look rather foalish.

“Well, you’re the one that said you didn’t want to go to the hospital.” Rarity replied, adjusting her glasses.

“Well, yeah, can you just imagine what they’d do to me after they found out I eat kittens?”

“Treat you like any other patient?” Rarity countered.

“As if!”Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes, “I was talking to Spike and he told me all about how freaks can be subdued by ‘doctors’ and then taken to a lab and studied.”

“Oh, dearie, you really shouldn’t believe everything you hear…” Rarity said with a shake of her head, “Besides, I bet it’s just a story from one of his ghastly comic books.”

“I don’t know if Spike reads comic books.” Rainbow Dash replied, wincing as the needle plunged into her side. “In fact, I don’t know if he’s read the Daring Do books, I ought to get him to sometime.”

“I would think that he’d just be able to ask Twilight… you know, living in a library and all that.”

“No, wrong Spike.” Rainbow dash laughed. “He’s actually pretty cool, I’ll have to introduce you… I already invited him to Pinkie’s we’re-glad-your-trial-went-well-and-you-didn’t-explode party.”

Rarity just rolled her eyes and got back to work, it seemed that all her friends were more than a little strange. She was so close to being finished with this little sewing job, though she really had to question whether or not installing a zipper into Rainbow Dash really was as ‘awesome’ an idea as the pegasus claimed it would be.

* * *

Meanwhile, deep in the Everfree Forest creatures stirred in the darkness.

Strange creatures, with red eyes, and loose, pasty skin. Strange creatures with red eyes, loose pasty skin, and vague and undefined magical powers! — They had long bodies that somehow brought hotdogs to mind, if hotdogs had feet, and faces, and teeth, and claws, and magic… in other words not like a hotdog at all, except for somehow having that sort of associated with them.

They burst out of the underbrush, they dropped out of the trees, they exploded from the very bowels of the Earth, as if they were some sort of reprehensible creature offensive and forcibly cast from the Earth’s very presence… and also like a symptom of ecological dysentery.

More and more spewed forth, coming from every corner of the forest that could conceivably be likened to an orifice, as well as a few that couldn’t.

It was the hoard — the terrible hoard that had always been kept in check by the threat of The Cage, but The Cage was gone… the Cursed Yellow Terror would not be able to capture one of their members, its fearsome Stare would be rendered ineffective by the sheer number of the creatures! At long last they could strike at the Cursed Yellow Terror.

The creatures, they were to be feared and respected, for they were meat-weasels!

* * *

The door separating Rarity’s kitchen from her boutique’s main room suddenly opened revealing Rarity and Rainbow Dash and startling the three Cutie Mark Crusaders who jumped at the sudden sound and movement.

“Look!” Scootaloo said pointing a hoof at the two mares, she was about to continue when Sweetie Belle cut her off.

“It’s Rainbow Dash!” she said, in her best Scootaloo voice.

Apple Bloom grinned and laughed.

“I don’t sound like that!” Scootaloo said in outrage.

“I think you do!” Apple Bloom choked out as she tried to gasp for air.

“Hey everypony! Look at this!” Rainbow Dash said, turning her side to the room and lifting a wing to reveal a zipper closing the C-shaped cut she’d gotten when Double Oh had lasered his way out of Rainbow Dash’s digestive tract. “Isn’t it awesome!?” — Rainbow Dash emphasized the point by twisting her head around and unzipping her side, then re-zipping it.

“I am more than slightly disturbed.” Scootaloo said, in a tone that suggested the shattering of her childhood idol.

Sweetie Belle and Pinkie Pie both looked a little sick while Apple Bloom got a smile on her face that anyone who knew her had associated with darker shades of humor — Applejack and the other Crusaders were thereby both apprehensive and forewarned for what Apple Bloom was about to say. The rest of the room’s occupants, however, were caught unawares.

“Flesh-pockets!” Apple Bloom said, before degenerating into a bout of giggling.

Apple Bloom had singlehoffedly made half the room’s occupants’s Chinese food threaten to return.

* * *

Meanwhile, in another plane of existence, Aquaman stood before his friends and colleagues at the monthly meeting for the Justice League, finishing up his retelling of how he had been summoned to a world full of colorful ponies to help them with the true meaning of justice.

“…and so I concluded my song about Justice and was teleported back!” Aquaman said thrusting a green-gloved fist into the air, “It was Outrageous!”

After a few moments of silence Oliver Queen, the Green Arrow, turned to Batman and asked one question, complete with sarcastic air-quotes: “Batman, have you been testing your ‘non-toxic’ shark-repellent on Aquaman again?”

Author's Note: