Rainbow Dash Eats a Kitten

by Shark8

Chapter 2: Once you Pop you can’t Stop

Chapter 2: Once you Pop you can’t Stop
(Or If You Give A Mare a Kitten…)

Rainbow Dash walked along the streets with Pinkie Pie, who was yammering on about tangents to tangents to the pranks that they were planning on pulling, she seemed mostly oblivious until Rainbow Dash caught sight of a small alley-cat and her belly let out a fierce growl.

“Gee Dashie, you sound like you’re starving!” Pinkie obliviously observed, happily bouncing along and missing the pause and misstep that the pegasus made.

“Yeah…” Rainbow Dash said, feeling a bit guilty about her newfound appetite; it was odd: she never would have thought meat would be so good — kittens, especially, were so fluffy, and crunchy, and oh-so-delicious. Oddly enough though, full grown cats weren’t appetizing at all… they tasted rather too ‘sharp’ and were stringy. Her stomach growled again as her thoughts prompted more of the hunger which hadn’t been sated in two days.

“Oh, look there’s miss Cheerilee. Hi, Cheerilee!” Pinkie said waiving a hoof enthusiastically at the teacher who, for some reason, looked rather down.

“Why so glum?” Pinkie asked after trotting up to the teacher.

“Oh, well… it’s been three days since I’ve seen my cat, Sparky.” She said, picking at the food on her plate.

Neither she nor Pinkie noticed the nervous chuckle from Rainbow Dash along with the shifty-eyed look she gave as she said, “I’m sorry to hear that and have no idea what happened to Sparky.”

Rainbow Dash’s attention wandered back to the alley cat which seemed to be on its way to the small patio where they were, apparently looking for food scraps the ponies dropped. The cat was one that looked to be right between ‘cat’ and ‘kitten’ —“katten”?— and had a very pleasing speckled brown-gray and black coat.

Rainbow Dash lowered her head to ground level, opening her mouth as far as it would go and beckoned the cat to come forward with one hoof.

‘Come on, get in here!’ she thought hoping that she could snap up the katten before anypony could notice.

“Sparky was so sweet,” Cheerilee said, explaining to Pinkie Pie about the cat, “He would always know when I had a bad day at school and cheer me up with a purr.”

“I thought you liked teaching, though.” Pinkie said, scratching her head in puzzlement.

“Oh, I do!” Cheerilee said, trying to keep Pinkie from jumping to conclusions… especially since the last time that happened the Pink Terror had dragged her all the way to the swimming lake and pushed her in… something about experience being a great teacher after she’d mentioned that “it might be fun to learn how to swim” — who knew what she might do if she thought Cheerilee was dissatisfied with her job. “It’s just that some days are… stressful.”

“Why would teaching be stressful?” Pinkie asked.

And, with such perfect timing as only fate can supply, there came a shout of three voices in unison declaring: “CUTIE MARK MYSTERIOUS PET DISAPPEARANCE INVESTIGATORS! YAY!”

“M’wap?” Rainbow Dash said, her mouth full and the katten’s tail sticking out and lashing about like some sort of demented tongue and her eyes wide in surprise. Had she been found out and her shameful secret exposed to everypony?

Cheerilee sighed and massaged a temple before gesturing in the direction from which the shout had emanated — “That.”

“I see.” Pinkie Pie said, nodding in understanding just as the Cutie Mark Crusaders rushed the patio swarming Cheerilee.

“Hi, miss Cheerilee!” Sweetie Belle started, greeting their teacher.

“We heard you’re one of the folks who’s had their pets go missing.” Apple Bloom injected.

“So we’re here to solve the mystery!” Scootaloo finished just as a slurping sound and an audible gulp came from her hero, Rainbow Dash.

“So, can you tell us about your cat?” Sweetie Belle said, pulling out a pad and pencil.

“Just the facts, ma'am.” Scootaloo said, adjusting her fedora.

Across the patio the visiting detective, one Sergeant Friday, looked around in bewilderment for his hat as he paid for his lunch — he could have sworn that he’d set it on the hat-rack as he’d entered… finally sighing in disappointed defeat. This was why he shouldn’t take vacations, he always lost his hat. Always.

Meanwhile, Cheerilee did her best to not snap at the children. They meant well, or at least that’s what she told herself, multiple times, to try to keep herself under control.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo excitedly turned her attention to the pegasus.

“No! Why would I know anything about where Sparky is—” Rainbow Dash’s panic was interrupted by a loud belch and a tuft of fur fluttering out of her mouth to alight on the ground.

“What was that?” Apple Bloom asked, pointing at the furball.

“Nothing!” Rainbow Dash said, shifting her eyes between the Crusaders, Cheerilee, and Pinkie Pie, “Nothing at all.”

A few more moments of Rainbow Dash looking from pony to pony lasted before she made a mad dash out of the café’s patio and disappeared down the streets of Ponyville.

“What was that about?” Sweetie Belle asked, scratching her chin with her pencil.

“Heck if I know.” Apple Bloom shrugged.

“It’s just Rainbow Dash being awesome!” Scootaloo half-squealed/half-shouted, anything Rainbow Dash did was awesome, it was a law of nature or something.

Cheerilee rubbed her temple again, trying to get rid of the headache that was threatening to overwhelm her.

* * *

Rainbow Dash ran as fast as she could, trying to lose the eyes that were staring at her. She could feel them, watching, judging, condemning her for enjoying the kittens. It was all Rarity’s fault… if she’d never mentioned that kittens were cute enough to eat, she never would have tried it.

She sighed. She knew she really couldn’t blame Rarity… it was her own fault that she was cursed to desire the ingestion of the cuteness of kittens.

Rainbow Dash blinked in surprise… ‘ingestion?’ — she must’ve spent more time with Twilight Sparkle than she’d thought… and for the life of her she couldn’t decide what was more disturbing: becoming an egghead, or becoming a felevore.

Maybe she could get some advice on diet from Fluttershy, her old friend had a lot of experience with all sorts of animals. So, yeah, Fluttershy would be a great pony to ask for advice… though Rainbow Dash would have to find some way to discreetly ask the questions. For some reason she just knew the yellow pegasus would frown on her cat-eating.

In what seemed to be no time at all Rainbow Dash found herself in the meadow outside Fluttershy’s cottage and, as luck would have it, her friend was right there attending to one of the bears that she was acquainted with who, it seemed, had gotten his paw stuck in some sort of container that looked suspiciously like a cookie jar.

As Rainbow Dash neared the bear eyed her and then what looked like a moment of recognition washed across his face and he gave a growf-growl-growf which Fluttershy translated.

“Oh, hi Rainbow Dash… Edward Bear here says hello.” Fluttershy was slightly surprised at the turn of events, but quite elated to find one of her animal-friends talking to one of her pony-friends… it was just so magical.

The bear gave a few more growls and something that sounded like a chortle which, again, Fluttershy translated.

“He says, ‘Oh bother, what was the message I was supposed to give her…’” Fluttershy looked at the bear and gave him a questioning look. That was… strange.

The bear, however, was oblivious to this as it examined writing that was on its paw — bears don’t have paper, you know — before growling out another string for Fluttershy to translate.

“‘We know what’s been Nebelung at you and wanted to ask if you Korat join us for a game of poker, it would Manx us very happy if you would.’” Fluttershy translated, including the puns themselves… though she was quite confused as to how and why the names of cat breeds would feature in a poker invitation.

The bear chuffed and gwarf-ed again, ticking off items on his claws as he continued on.

“He says a lot of fun carnivores are going to be there: Manny the Manticore, Craig the Cragadile, Timmy the Timberwolf and… Spike. — I didn’t know Spike was a carnivore.”

“Well, why would you have been afraid of that big dragon if they didn’t eat meat?” Rainbow Dash asked, honestly wondering why the big dragon had scared her.

“Um, well, they’re so big, and large, and scary…” Fluttershy said, getting smaller and quieter with each descriptive word.

“Well, I’m sure Twilight wouldn’t let Spike attend such an event if it wasn’t safe…” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself as she rubbed her chin in thought… the thought of playing poker with a bunch of carnivores (and winning, obviously) was awesome, and how could Rainbow Dash pass up an offer like that?

Author's Note:

(Click the pic.)

Comments

[JustAnotherTimeLord]

5659888
Horses have feet. Just like how our feet include our soles to our ankles, a horse's includes from the hoof to the . . . whatever else. The hoof is the equivalent of a human toe, not the name of a horse's feet.

[ghost8472]

I like how rainbow dash started without any remorse :)

"made" instead of "maid"
"beckoned" instead of "beaconed"