Rainbow Dash Eats a Kitten

by Shark8

Chapter 5: Temptress in a Teacup

Chapter 5: Temptress in a Teacup
(Or Let’s Let the Cat out of the Bag.)

“There you go.” Rainbow Dash said, as she set her last two kittens into the ridiculously large cage she’d “borrowed” from Fluttershy… she resisted the urge to devour one, they were needed for her plan.

The cage itself was strangely sturdy — and now occupied the alley behind the Chinese restaurant, sporting signage declaring the kittens as ‘Provisions’ (written in Rainbow Dash’s own nearly-illegible scrawl) — the one time she’d asked Fluttershy about the cage she was told that it was for holding meat-weasels, whatever they were. She’d never seen any thing in the cage, just it sitting all alone behind Fluttershy’s cottage, but now it would prove key to Rainbow Dash avoiding being ostracized because of her new non-vegetarian appetite.

It was odd, Rainbow Dash supposed, but she rather enjoyed her game of cards with Spike, Edward, and the others… much more than she thought she would have. It reminded her of something Fluttershy had once said: carnivores tend to be more gentle and less territorial than many herbivores. — The only reason Rainbow Dash didn’t immediately dismiss that observation was that it was Fluttershy making it, and the animal-friendly mare knew a lot about nature than Rainbow Dash ever would.

“Now all we have to do is wait for Applejack where we can ‘discover’ the evidence.” Rainbow Dash said to herself, resisting the urge to rub her forehooves together and laugh maniacally.

…For a few minutes — looking around, Rainbow Dash saw nopony looking her way and let loose her best laugh just to relieve her tension.

* * *

“There you go.” Apple Bloom said to Double Oh as she finished putting the laser-watch around his neck like a collar.

“Mew.” Double Oh said, pawing at the makeshift collar, almost triggering the high power laser.

“Now, you’re going deep into enemy territory, so keep your wits about you Double Oh.” Sweetie Bell said, gesturing at the chalkboard covered in scrawls.

The chalkboard showed their plan for catching Rainbow Dash in the act, as well as getting their Cutie Marks, and concluded with Mayor Mare giving them the keys to the city… along with a fifty-bit gift certificate for Chinese food… man that stuff was good!

The Crusaders gathered up their supplies and rushed outside, there was still a lot that they had to do to get ready for their plan… like setting up the net that they had made from yarn and cloth-scraps they’d begged off of Rarity who’d indulged them with what, to her, was refuse.

* * *

“There you go.” Applejack said, handing the jar of apple sauce to Twilight Sparkle… seeing how she had to be in town anyway, she thought she’d drop off the applesauce that she’d promised Twilight… not that it was the crushed or ground apples that people called applesauce, but a sauce for apples: two parts mayonnaise, one part caramel, one part tomato-paste, and just a dash of dried mushrooms! — It was great stuff, her own special concoction, developed as a filly and jealously guarded… until now, what with sharing it with Twilight Sparkle.

Well, now it was off to take care of business with Rainbow Dash… Applejack sighed, it wasn’t like she didn’t like the pegasus, just that… well, Rainbow Dash was ornerier than a mule with sand in his britches. Well, at least is wasn’t having to help with Pinkie Pie, that girl was more confusing than a rattlesnake in a cowboy hat! (Applejack could never figure out if the rattlesnake was wearing the cowboy hat, or if it was inside the cowboy hat… which is why it was so confusing.)

So she trotted along, towards Cāntīng mă māo, glancing down the street to see Apple Bloom and her friends setting up some sort of contraption that had, apparently, been nearly destroyed by Derpy making deliveries. She shrugged and continued on to the alleyway where after a minute of waiting Rainbow Dash alighted.

“Glad you could make it, Applejack!” Rainbow Dash said, perhaps a bit too cheerfully.

“Well, I gave my word…” Applejack started to reply, before her attention was drawn to a rather large cage containing kittens and labeled with a sign that she thought read ‘provisions’… it might have also said ‘perversions’, but Applejack couldn’t think of anything that would mark the little furballs as perverts.

Unless they were related to the ‘furries’ that Big Macintosh ranted about… apparently he thought they were pretty perverted, taking animal skins and wearing them like a pony’s own clothes, sometimes adopting affectations of those animals. Big Macintosh said, “‘Tain’t natural! Dressing up to to look like something you’re not, along with assuming its nature!”

Applejack smiled remembering the conversation and how she’d laughed when she pointed out that he was part of a LARP group and such could be said of him. (Of course he’d denied that, claiming that LARP represented a noble and dignified endeavor to become a part of a story in a way that lesser methods could not… and that it contributed to experience, especially on “Double-XP Wednesday”.)

The mewing of the kittens drew Applejack back into the present.

“Hey, do you happen to know why there’s a cage of kittens here?” Applejack asked Rainbow Dash.

“Sure do!” Rainbow Dash said, having already thought up phrasing that the Element of Honesty couldn’t call a lie, “It’s because they were put here by the pony responsible for all the missing pets!”

“I dunno… it seems awfully convenient to me.” Applejack said, rubbing her chin.

“Ah, come on Applejack… it’s not like there’s a law of the universe that says because the Cutie Mark Crusaders thought of it that it’s either wrong or doomed to catastrophe, right?” Rainbow Dash said, elbowing Applejack in the ribs.

“I guess it’s plain to see that the Cāntīng mă māo has been using the town’s cats in their food.” Applejack said as she stared intently at the restaurant’s back door.

And in that moment, while her attention was turned away, Applejack failed to see Rainbow Dash’s cocky and slightly creepy smile slide into place.

* * *

“There you go!” Derpy said as she handed over the third crate to the gryphon, “that’s the last of them.”

“Thank you, miss.” The gryphon replied, twirling his long mustache with a talon, “If that will be all…”

“Well, you do have to sign this form.” she said, bending over to fetch her clipboard and accidently hitting one of the large crates.

There was a small, quiet chorus that sounded like a clowder of kittens emanating from the crate.

“What was that?” Derpy asked.

“Only the freshest and most high quality ingredients for my cooking.” Gau the Gryphon said in a tone that made it sound intuitively obvious to the casual observer as he finished signing and handed the clipboard back.

“Oh, I see…” Derpy replied, “I guess that makes sense. And it’s got to be why all my friends love your food.”

“Indeed!” Gao the Gryphon agreed, “Only the finest ingredients, imported fresh from the Gryphon Empire would do, it’s why the Chinese food of Cāntīng mă māo is second to none here in Ponyville.”

“Well, I’ll have to try it sometime.” Derpy said before leaving, as she exited she saw those three adventuresome fillies rebuilding whatever contraption that she’d accidentally collided with earlier.

* * *

“There you go!” Applejack yelled at Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash as she stopped her gallop and thrust a foreleg at Gao the Gryphon, “He’s the one that’s responsible for the town’s cat-disappearances; he’s putting them into his food!”

Gao the Gryphon gasped, sputtering with rage for a moment before he roared back, “How dare you! I use only the finest ingredients, I would never stoop to using —” the gryphon shuddered violently in disgust, as if merely saying it was physically distasteful, “— ally-cats!”

“Can you prove this?” Twilight Sparkle asked, still slightly perplexed as to the how and why she had been dragged into this — yes, she knew (intellectually) that her official position as Celestia’s personal student had given her an unofficial official position… but how that translated into the authority in this sort of situation completely mystified her.

“But of course!” Gao the Gryphon said, folding his wings back into position and gesturing into the restaurant, “I just got a shipment today, even.”

“Well… Let’s go see.” Twilight said, hoping that she could ease Applejack’s concern over the situation.

The Gryphon escorted her into the building and after a minute of working the lid popped open one of the crates: it was a shipment of exotic vegetables that wouldn’t grow well in Equestria. He moved to the second and, likewise, it was full of vegetables. When he got to the third one Twilight was expecting more, but instead she was greeted with dozens of cute furry kittens.

“I would never use alley-cat.” Gao the Gryphon grumbled at Twilight.

“I think I’ve seen enough…” Twilight said, indicating the crates before she turned around and returned to her waiting friends.

“Well?” Rainbow Dash asked, even as she was interrupted by her belly growling. It was apparently really bad because she put her foreleg on her stomach like it was hurting.

“He’s not responsible for the missing cats.” Twilight said, turning away to return to her library.

“I’m so hungry.” Rainbow Dash muttered to herself, looking around wildly for something to eat until her eyes set on a kitten sitting in a teacup just a few dozen yards away.

Rainbow Dash’s stomach growled yet again, ever more insistent for ever more katzenfleisch… she couldn’t resist, it was just too much. So she made her way over and, after inhaling the rich aroma wafting up from the teacup, picked it up and emptied its contents down her throat.

In an instant Rainbow Dash’s world turned upside down as a net, cleverly hidden on the ground and in plain sight, snapped up trapping the wayward pegasus… and an instant later three fillies jumped out from behind the corner of a building.

“We did it!” Sweetie Belle squeaked in joy!

“We solved the pet disappearances!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.

“It’s Rainbow Dash!!” Scootaloo yelled, pointing up at her hero even as her new hat slid over her eyes.

Author's Note:

(Click the pic.)

Comments

[Shark8]

5675213
Well, I hope you like it when you do get around to reading it.

[boombox89]

Finally! Been waiting for this!

[Shark8]

5688108
The new chapter, Rainbow Dash getting caught, or the reveal that the Chinese place was using cats?

[boombox89]

5688167 All of them.

[ghost8472]

I like how "clowder of cats" is defined in the previous chapter, but directly used here (indirectly used then with chowder).

"already thought up " instead of "already though up "
"student gave her" instead of "student given her"