Rainbow Dash Eats a Kitten

by Shark8

Chapter 15: Aquafriends!

Chapter 15: Aquafriends!
(Or Aquaman’s Awesomely Acceptable Adventure Alongside the Aquafriends Accompanying Awkward Anesthesia of Aquaman.)

Aquaman breathed in a deep breath as he stood, hands on hips, admiring the sunrise on the ocean. It was beautiful, and today he had a meeting to attend, it was time to meet with the rest of the Aquafriends; Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, and himself would be deciding on wether or not to admit new members — there were some good contenders, like The Flash, Green Lantern, and Booster Gold.

A good day, meaningful work, good friends… yes, he was fortunate. As the king of the seas, Aquaman’s natural leadership had rubbed off on the others and when they had formed their little “super-hero club” the obvious choice had been Aquafriends to mirror out how pivotal Aquaman had become to the group as a sort of de facto leader before their organizing made it official.

The only thing that marred the group’s dynamic was Superman, or rather how Batman and Wonder Woman treated him. While it was true that he had a vast arsenal of superpowers the other two gave him what they claimed was good natured ribbing, but Aquaman didn’t want it to become something that grew into bitterness or hate.

For one thing it simply wasn’t right, for another Superman was his friend, and for a third… well, he expected better behavior from at least the princess of the Amazons even if relations between the Atlantian kingdom and the Amazons were often strained and sour.

Making his way to the Hall of Justice, Aquaman found himself actually looking forward to reading Batman’s usually rather extensive reports on the prospective members even if, at times, Batman seemed wont to a bit of a bureaucratic bent.

Even so, the unappreciative treatment Superman had been receiving still bugged him. Yes, he would have to deal with it soon. He could still remember the two joking about Superman, “Ah, my soup’s cold! I’d better call Superman to heat it up!” Batman would say, and Wonder Woman would reply “Quit being a smart ass, there’s a microwave right behind you.” Or Batman would say “Gah! My gazpacho soup is warm, I’d better call Superman to cool it off with his super-breath!” rejoined with, “You have those instant cold packs in your utility belt, quit being a dick.” — Poor Superman, always on the butt end of Batman and Wonder Woman’s soup jokes.

He was deep in though about how to actually broach the subject to his two friends when he they both entered the Hall Of Justice laughing over some joke that Batman was telling.

“Ah, Batman, Wonder Woman… I was hoping to speak to you ab—”

Klaxons suddenly interrupted the king of the sea as the view-screens activated showing various maps, video-feeds, and a commercial for Mentos. The voice from one of the video feeds clicked into the speaker-systems as the klaxons subdued: “Aquafriends! We need your help!”

Aquaman wheeled around to the video-display and was confronted by the visage of Professor Patrick Connor O’Gordon, fifth cousin to Batman’s Commissioner Gordon, was apparently in his lab which appeared to have suffered some sort of attack, what with the back wall missing and all.

“It’s terrible, we-we need your help!” the normally unflappable scientist cried.

“W-what is it?” Batman asked, curious as to what was causing the carnage, and why there appeared to be a sparkling rainbow striking objects in the distance.

“That Creepy scarecrow guy, I don’t know his name—”

“Scarecrow?” Batman suggested.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Well he teamed up with that man, the one obsessed with toys…”

“Toyman?” Batman suggested again.

Again the professor nodded, “and there’s a girl, too, some little witch called Sabrina.”

“Curse her perfectly blond hair!” Wonder Woman interjected in a sudden, and disturbing, fit of unbridled rage.

Despite the high-tension that was mounted everyone turned to stare at the Amazon princess.

Suddenly aware of the attention, Wonder Woman quickly explained, “She was a terror in Amazon High-School.”

“But you’re hundreds of years old…” Batman said, obviously confused.

“Time is warped and space is bendable! Alright!” Wonder Woman snapped back.

Considering the times that Batman himself had been flung through space and/or time, he wasn’t particularly sure that wasn’t a good argument, still though, it left him feeling unfufilled.

The sense of urgency resumed when Professor Patrick was knocked from the view-screen by a red and blue clad figure, none other than Superman.

“I-I’m no good… against magic.” Superman explained, bruised and battered as he tried to catch his breath, “I need your help Aquafriends, there’s no other way to stop Rainbow Brite! No, No, not The Rainbow Whip!”

Rushing to Wonder Woman’s invisible jet and Batman’s Batplane, the Aquafriends constructed a plan as they flew. Batman was especially helpful, even delving into the villain’s histories and proposing a theory on what had happened: Scarecrow and Toyman joined forces to find the scariest toy in existence: Rainbow Brite… and make a giant version, then recruited Sabrina and using her abominable eldritch magic to give the thing life, a horrible and terrible parody of everything that might have once been good in children’s toys given life in order to spread terror across the world… it was obviously the work of the dastardly Legion of Doom.

The Aquafriends managed to get to the Professor’s laboratory in twelve minutes, but the damage was horrendous: walls had been ripped down and scientists and technicians were huddled in piles like weeping puppies, the smell of urine indicating that at least some of them were not brave enough to be heroes… or utterly terrified of Rainbow Brite… or under the effects of Scarecrow’s gas.

Wonder Woman lassoed the rampaging living-doll while Batman three multiple exploding batarangs at it, giving Aquaman enough time to close the distance and clock Rainbow Brite, sending the doll stumbling backwards.

“Don’t let Aquaman break my toys!” a voice shrieked from an otherwise inconspicuous corner.

“Quiet Toyman!” the Scarecrow hissed, preparing to throw several canisters of his patented terror-gas.

“Og, gross!” “Disgusting!” “Gonna hurg—” and other assorted sounds of gagging and retching rang across the open area adjacent the laboratory.

For some odd reason Scarecrows patented terror gas was something he produced after eating cabbage and Hormel chile, a true terror indeed, but the unpatented fear gas was the one that provoked a fear reaction in people… and he was reading canisters of these.

This was the scene that Superman, having been beaten into unconsciousness by Rainbow Brite, woke to see. In that instant he knew what he had to do, taking a huge breath he blew the terror gas, and the new fear gas, back into Scarecrow and Toyman… but wasn’t there one more?

“Winslow!” came the cry of a young woman, blonde, running toward the gagging, choking, and terrified Toyman.

“No! No! Get away, witch!” He shrieked, so hysterical he was nearly foaming at the mouth, slinging spittle with each utterance.

“N-no! Winslow… you don’t mean it, y-you d-don—” Sabrina broke down into sobs, the irrational reaction of Toyman obviously hitting her as hard as an emotional sledge-hammer.

As this was happening, Wonder Woman and Aquaman were regaining their feet, reading themselves to resume attacking Rainbow Brite — again the lasso flew, binding the big doll and allowing Aquaman’s mighty fists to break its magically animated face.

Rounding up Scarecrow, Toyman, and Sabrina the heroes placed a call to the police who were prompt in picking up the now-subdued prisoners… almost like they’d been waiting right outside the battlefield to snatch them once they were subdued.

“Well, that looks like another crisis dealt with, right Aquafriends?” Superman said, dusting off his hands.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll fly back to the Hall now, we’ve still got to talk about those potential recruits.” Superman said before flying off.

“Look, in the air! It’s a bird, it’s a plane! No, it’s a Birdplane!” Batman said, pointing at the retreating form of Superman.

Wonder Woman sniggered at Batman’s antics, somehow the Detective was always able to turn a joke at Superman’s expense.

“Batman, Wonder Woman… Superman is a valuable member of the Aquafriends, and as such you should treat him with a modicum of honor and respect… to do otherwise is unjust, and unbecoming.” Aquaman said, hoping that they would get it.

“I understand, old chum.” Batman said, though not without a twinkle of mischief in his eyes, “Flash isn’t a member yet, so I’m going to make all the jokes I can about him being Green Arrow’s sidekick.”

“What?” Wonder Woman asked, even as Aquaman groaned.

“Green Arrow’s sidekick is called ‘Speedy’.” Batman replied, barely containing a smile even as Wonder Woman groaned at the joke.

* * *

“You have some strange dreams.” Twilight said drily, unsure of what to make of the fantastical and outlandish dream Aquaman had just told her about.

“I know; they’re Outrageous!” Aquaman replied with a grin that said that he simply loved being himself.

Author's Note:

(Click the pic.)

(Click the pic; I bet it's Batman's revenge for getting blown off.)

Comments

[sniper 1232]

The last picture is me when someone asks me to help with simple math