“SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!” Rarity screamed as his one good eye closed, and his head fell to the side. She threw her front hooves around him and buried her head into his chest. “Please Spike, don’t leave me” she muttered, as she cried into his chest.
“Mmhumm. He’s only lost consciousness ma’am. While we'll have to bandage him up and fix his eye, he appears to be quiet stable,” said the doctor, a young blue unicorn with brown hair and heart with a cross through it for his cutie mark, as he pointed to a number of beeping machines and screens.
Rarity blushed a deep red, made all the more obvious due to her white coat. “Thank you, doctor……… I’m dreadfully sorry, but with all the excitement I never caught your name”
“Jolly Dreamer but everyone calls me J.D., and I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave for an hour or so. We need to run some tests. I suggest you use this time to inform anyone else close to him of his condition and what has happened to him. I don’t mean to stress the matter but dragons are a bit………… mysterious to us pony-folk, and it would be extremely helpful to gain as much medical information on him or his kind as we can” said the doctor, although he almost seemed nervous about the idea.
“An excellent idea indeed,” said Rarity, as she bent down and kissed Spike on the cheek. “When you wake up I’ll give you something much better”, she whispered into his ear.
This time it was the doctor’s turn to blush. “Well….. um….. yes, hurry along now don’t want to keep the news from anypony to long.”
Rarity left the hospital room, but not before she noticed that the doctor seemed to have nodded off into some kind of day dream. She trotted out of the hospital as fast as she could; Twilight needed to know what happened. The whole horrible accident and the events leading to it started to play through her head, as she ran to tell her friend the news.
A few days ago Spike had turned seventeen; he hardly resembled the young dragon that had come to Ponyville only four years ago instead he now stood at six hooves tall, a good hoof and a half above the average pony, and almost nine hooves from snout to tail. He had also grown a beautiful pair of amethyst wings, six hooves wide a piece, with emerald green folds. And his body had become extremely toned, with very dense but not overly large muscles. Most importantly though he was now only a year from being considered as an adult by pony standards and was now considered adolescence by dragon standards.
For Rarity however, another year was too long to hold in her feeling for the gentledragon of her dreams, and she knew none of her friends would judge her for acting now. Rarity had fallen for Spike three years ago, a combination of his generosity in the fire ruby matter and how truly humbling it was when his love for her had caused him to gain control of his inner greed and end his rampage. She had known of his crush before that and, like every other pony, had simply played it off as childhood fancy, but in those moments she knew that it wasn’t a mere crush and that he truly loved her for who she was. Of course Rarity wasn’t against his newly found appeal, in fact she found the dangerousness of it all quite thrilling, but she loved him for who he was, who he had always been, and his newer form was nothing more than a very juicy cherry on top.
Rarity had planned on telling Spike about her feelings at his birthday party; another one of Pinkies’ best parties but after all the next party would always be her best, Rarity never understood how she managed to always out do herself. When she got to the party however, she decided against telling him, the party was too large and too many ponies wanted his attention. It simply would not do for how she wanted them to always remember the moment, when they both shared their true feelings for the other; no, she knew something more intimate, with only the two of them would be the best. And so Rarity started to hatch a plan, once Spike had been able to sneak away from the crowd for a breather, Rarity made her move.
“Hello, Spike,” said Rarity, approaching Spike from behind.
Spike jumped a bit, not expecting the visitor during his escape. He was happy for the interruption though; knowing instantly from the beauty held in the voice who it was. “Hello, Rarity trying to give me a heart attack are we?”
Rarity couldn’t help but giggle at the fact that she, a beautiful fashionista, had scared the large muscular dragon before her; however she quickly covered her mouth with her hoof to stop the unlady like outburst.
“Well if I had known me being scared would cause you to create such an adorable sound, I’d of been afraid more often.”
Rarity blushed the lightest pink, but thankfully it had been to dark out for Spike to notice. “Yes…. Well I wanted to congratulate you personally on you seventeenth birthday Spike, your growing into quite the fine gentledrake.”
Spike took the compliment with both a small blush and obvious increase in pride, neither of which he tried to hide from the beautiful mare in front of him. “That’s very generous of you Rarity. Thank you, you may have just made my night.”
“Spike, darling, I’m not quite through. I wanted to invite you to Carousal Boutique this Saturday evening, so I could give you your birthday gift, I do apologize, but I wasn’t able to give it to you tonight due to unforeseen complications.”
Spike was obviously taken back a bit by this information. “Rarity, you didn’t have to do that, just being here with you on this night or any other is gift enough for me. What time would you like me to come over?”
Rarity felt a small knot in her stomach. After what Spike had said, she felt even surer then she had before, “Five would be just perfect darling.”
“I’ll be at your door by four forty-five; after all a gentledrake never leaves a lady waiting,” Spike said lowering himself into bow.
“Indeed, but I won’t be letting you in until five,” replied Rarity mischievously. “Now come, I think we’ve stolen enough time from the world”, ‘although I wish we could steal just a little more’ Rarity thought to herself, “and you have lots of guests still. Wouldn’t want to keep anypony waiting to talk to the birthday boy.”
“No, I suppose not,” sighed Spike sadly, and with that the two of them walked back to the party together, practically leaning against one another.
To Rarity it felt like Saturday had taken a short lifetime to come. She had planned everything down to the last nanosecond; every last detail was to be fabulous and perfect. Her mane and tail were to be done in her everyday style simple, elegant, and beautiful. She had a new dress that she had very carefully crafted without Spike ever noticing, no small feat considering how much of his time he spent helping her. It was black with onyxes embedded into it, causing it to glitter in the light. It fell down her side and back and was cut at the sides, so that her cutie mark and hind legs were framed by the dress, very tasteful but very sexy. And to top it all off, the fire ruby necklace Spike had given her right before his birthday all those years ago. She could just see Spike’s jaw drop when he saw her in it, but she planned on waiting till she shared her little secret to put it on, so as not to stupefy him beyond hearing the single most important thing she hoped he would ever hear. Rarity had already prepared the dinner the two of them would share on their first of what she prayed would be many dates; a fabulous new salad recipe she had picked up on her last trip to Canterlot which she was assured by the chef could be complemented nicely with gem shavings for dragons, having served it to visiting dragon dignitaries himself, along with a sweet dry white wine from the personal cellars of the Alicorn Princesses, a gift from her last birthday, that was being chilled as she stepped into her shower.
As she stepped out of the shower, she looked over at her clock 4:45 on the dot; looking out the window she saw exactly what she expected, a handsome young dragon waiting outside her door. What she hadn't expected was the beautiful bouquet of flowers he was carrying. She hurried down the stairs and opened the door with her magic.
“Spike, darling, come in.”
“Hello Rarity, I know it’s for my birthday, but I brought you some flowerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…….” Spike held the word completely mesmerized by Rarity’s beauty; in her haste to open the door. She had yet to dry off, her coat glistened from the steam coming off of it, and her hair fell straight instead of its normal styled look.
“Spike, it is not polite to stare at a lady,” Rarity said attempting to scold him, but the blush growing on her face gave away how much she enjoyed having his eyes focused on her, running up and down her body.
“rrrrrs. Sorry Rarity, sometimes you’re just to stunning for me to control myself. Do you have a vase I can put these?” replied a rather reddened Spike.
“Of course darling,” she responded, as she levitated over a white vase with a purple diamond pattern running up its side. “Now if you don’t mind, you are indeed early, and I need to finish getting ready. Feel free to make yourself at home.” She pointed to a new red luxury couch; it was considerably bigger than her old one, large enough that a dragon slightly bigger then Spike would be able to lie down comfortably and wide enough that a dragon Spike’s size and a pony could lay next to each other on it.
“Take your time,” Spike said, laying himself down on the new couch, he seemed quite comfortable on it and a bit taken back by the fact it had been added in without his knowledge.
A mere ten minutes later Rarity descended the stairs, looking as beautiful as she always did. Spike was still a bit stunned just from looking at her though. No matter how many times he saw her like this, he always seemed to treat it as if she was even more beautiful than the last time.
“Beautiful,” he whispered to himself.
“What was that darling?” asked a perfectly aware Rarity.
“I, I was saying that you looked very nice today,” he recovered.
“Trust me darling, you haven’t seen anything yet,” a sultry mischief easily spreading over her face. “In fact I think it’s time we discuss why I invited you over here………..”
Suddenly everything began to shake violently.
“RARRRRRRRRRRRITY!” screamed Spike, lunging forward from the couch. He quickly, but gently, grabbed Rarity and softly threw her into the couch, as a large section of the second floor fell where Rarity had been standing moments ago. Where Spike was standing now, and she would always remember the look on his face not of fear but of happiness, pride, love, and content as he said six words, “I will always love you, Rarity.” And Spikes world went black.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Rarity screamed as a surge of magic, which would humble even Twilight; shoot from her body levitating the mass of flooring off of her dragon. Underneath where the pile of wood and nails had been moments ago, laid a bleeding Spike. His whole body was covered in cuts and bruises, his wings had giant holes in them where boards had pierced the thin webbing, but worse of all his right eye had a long jacked scar where a nail had ripped down the side of his face…. his eye was bleeding, he was blind. Rarity knew his tough scales and leathery hide had saved his life, and that she would have been painfully crushed to death if he hadn’t saved her, but it didn’t make it easier and she still blamed herself. And in that moment her love for him soared, her magic once again increased to a never before known level as she teleported herself and Spike straight into the lobby of Ponyville General. She had reflected on her new found magical ability for less than a nanosecond, as the nurses and orderlies carefully hoisted Spike on to a stretcher. She was by his side instantaneously as the head nurse, Nurse Redheart, begun issuing orders and calling for a doctor.
She was just outside Twilight’s and Spike’s home, a library magically carved into a still living tree, as the memories faded back to reality. She knocked on the door.
“Hello Rarity, where’s Spike I thought he was going over to see you?” answered the lilac bookworm
“Twilight darling, we need to talk, there's been an accident.”
“Of course Rarity, come inside quickly,” a visibly shaken Twilight responded, no doubt running through the hundreds of possibilities of what could be wrong.
Rarity walked in as the door glowed with a lilac aura and magically shut behind her.
Fav'd
hmmmmm... a lot of the dialogue gimmicks you use to show emphasis are unnecessary. you could easily show that characters are screaming without stretching words all over the place.
I'm not saying that you can't stretch words...it's just that it's something you should seldom use.
555129 Indeed but without saying Spike screamed (which obviously I refrained from doing in the first chapter at least) I was concerned it would escape some people. Plus lets face it Rarity has a thing for the dramatic and after all the years Spike has spent with her he's probably gained a little flare for it himself. I tried to limit to moments where the scream would be spread out over a period of time to emphasize that dramatic nature of theirs.
555167 I can understand that...at least tell me why you're spreading the CONSONANTS.
"OPPPPPPPPPPEN" that reads like pppppb's *spittle*
If anyone comes up for a better first name for the doctor that starts with a J I'd be most appreciative, cause I don't like Jolly but I couldn't come up with something better
*twitch*
I feel like there's already a story with this name around somewhere.
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555182 I don't like to stretch the end of words its not as dramatic and cuts off the clean emphases though i do suppose it can be awkward, but in a moment of pure genius I'm gonna blame Spikes forked tongue
555189 happy coincidence................ it makes more sense further into the story to be fair.
Good Celestia, you wrote a small novel their i must admit I'm compelled to read it when i have a few hours of down time
555202..... Me to, couldn't help myself i didn't feel like using muffin headed doctor and that was the first thing that popped into my head
Well there a lot of little grammatical errors, but I'm really liking this story so far and that hasn't stopped me from reading this. Can't wait for more!
555325 yea i may have gotten just the tiniest bit coma happy
No.
555338
Yes.
555360
Wtf.
555448 Hahaha. I love you, Din.
ultimate sparity fan writes a fic,
anabolicminds.com/forum/attachment.php?attachmentid=51505&d=1327199456
The story is written in 3rd person limited narrative so you only have the information Spike has and as in any 3rd person writing your allowed to access thoughts, even if its rarely seen. If you've ever had the displeasure of being knocked unconscious, coming out of it is rather unpleasant and extremely disorienting (hence the swearing, the stuttering is his mind trying to piece everything together, ugh is a vocalization of pain but its a thought to you think ouch before it comes out of your mouth after all, and Spike is pissed off having your body not react to your thoughts will do that to you) and the authors note at the start their serves as a guiding light for anyone who hasn't gone through the process of unconsciousness. Frankly I love how i did the first chapter it is unique, creative, and it gives the reader a insight into the charters without spelling it out for them. I would also love to hear what other people think about it as again I'm quite proud of my little leap of faith their.
Us pony-folk is a generalization however any family or caretaker would reasonably be more informed on the matter. Doctors learn hundreds of diseases, injuries, cures and any number of other things; a pony doctor isn't going to take time to learn about dragon health issues that he would never feasibly see (the doctor having a moment of IS THAT A DRAGON was a emphasis to this point).
If you don't like it don't continue to read it (although everyone should at least read the first 2 chapters before judging), simple really. I honestly just don't care. So thanks for reading and here's the door don't let it hit you on the way out.
P.S. Here's a secret teenagers are really really into sex and unless i describe it its not a mature tag but its still a possibility
555831 somehow ultimate Sparity fan doesn't seem as exciting as ultimate Spiderman.
Favorited and following
Definitly a good fic. I'll be making sure to be keeping an eye out for updates
557664 thanks
And yea I'm gonna fix those corrections when i have more time and then I'm just gonna delete both his comments and edit my response to him as a generalization and make it sound less like me being a ass back and more of a guideline for any confusion.
555683
I feel so loved!
557648
lol i didnt even notice the resemblance in the words when i wrote that lol
fav'd and tracked, looking forward to the next update. I wonder what caused the second floor to collapse?
560352 it'll be directly mentioned in the next chapter but the whole building shakes rather violently. Not a whole lot of things that can cause that
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Kick ass fic
*In story text*
" . . . but she loved him for who he was, who he had always been."
*Author rewrites Spike into something different*
Seriously, again he's mister buff man and has wings. Didn't you see S.2 ep. 10? Why u so ashamed of Spike?
Anyways that aside, this looks like it will be a really good story, can't wait for the aftermath.
Finally getting around to reading this. I would be editing, but I'm on my phone currently. Also...
THE GRAMMAR! OH GOD, I NEED GO EDIT THIS EVENTUALLY! I like it so far, but it seems a bit rushed and cliche.
Nice work. Here is a picture of J.D. and Perry Cox as ponies!
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SPOILER ALERT!!!
and was now considered adolescence by dragon.
-"adolescent by dragon standards" might work better here.
She had known of his crush before that and ,like every other pony
-The space needs to be moved to the other side of the comma.
Rarity couldn’t help but giggle at the fact that she, a beautiful fashionista, had scared the large muscular dragon before her
-Well, she does know martial arts... not that that has much to do with it.
“Spike, darling, come in”
-Period?
Good chapter, but the text hurt my eyes.
1842239 That's something new with Fimfiction; I suggest changing the font style and text size. The one it autosets to is quite horrible.
555183 What about john smith?
I love the Scrubs reference!
1378662 cool
YES! Scrubs! Cloud, you are officially the best.