• Member Since 25th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Path_of_cloud


Death God

T
Source

Spike is helping Rarity at Carousel Boutique when disaster strikes. But love blooms in the worst of conditions, strengthened by the fire. Yet a romance between a pony and a dragon is bound to have certain... complications, that will require an epic adventure and the strongest of love to overcome.

Sparity

Bonus Chapter: PM for link, NSFW.

Picture:In Matrimony by *coyoterainbow

Authors notes: The first chapter is super short (its also really awesome if I do say so myself) but the rest won't be. Promise. There will be some combat later on, but at the moment, it won't be super graphic, so again, dodging a bullet. The first 2 or 3 chapters will be a little sad/tragic, but its not the tone of the story, and its nothing to bad so they won't be tagged. The entire story will not be written like the first chapter. Lastly, as the story evolves tags are subject to change.

Chapters (13)
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Comments ( 381 )

hmmmmm... a lot of the dialogue gimmicks you use to show emphasis are unnecessary. you could easily show that characters are screaming without stretching words all over the place.

I'm not saying that you can't stretch words...it's just that it's something you should seldom use.

555129 Indeed but without saying Spike screamed (which obviously I refrained from doing in the first chapter at least) I was concerned it would escape some people. Plus lets face it Rarity has a thing for the dramatic and after all the years Spike has spent with her he's probably gained a little flare for it himself. I tried to limit to moments where the scream would be spread out over a period of time to emphasize that dramatic nature of theirs.

555167 I can understand that...at least tell me why you're spreading the CONSONANTS.

"OPPPPPPPPPPEN" that reads like pppppb's *spittle*

If anyone comes up for a better first name for the doctor that starts with a J I'd be most appreciative, cause I don't like Jolly but I couldn't come up with something better :unsuresweetie:

555182 I don't like to stretch the end of words its not as dramatic and cuts off the clean emphases though i do suppose it can be awkward, but in a moment of pure genius I'm gonna blame Spikes forked tongue :facehoof:

555189 happy coincidence................ it makes more sense further into the story to be fair.

Good Celestia, you wrote a small novel their i must admit I'm compelled to read it when i have a few hours of down time

555202..... Me to, couldn't help myself i didn't feel like using muffin headed doctor and that was the first thing that popped into my head :moustache:

Well there a lot of little grammatical errors, but I'm really liking this story so far and that hasn't stopped me from reading this. Can't wait for more!

555325 yea i may have gotten just the tiniest bit coma happy

555448 Hahaha. I love you, Din. :rainbowlaugh:

The story is written in 3rd person limited narrative so you only have the information Spike has and as in any 3rd person writing your allowed to access thoughts, even if its rarely seen. If you've ever had the displeasure of being knocked unconscious, coming out of it is rather unpleasant and extremely disorienting (hence the swearing, the stuttering is his mind trying to piece everything together, ugh is a vocalization of pain but its a thought to you think ouch before it comes out of your mouth after all, and Spike is pissed off having your body not react to your thoughts will do that to you) and the authors note at the start their serves as a guiding light for anyone who hasn't gone through the process of unconsciousness. Frankly I love how i did the first chapter it is unique, creative, and it gives the reader a insight into the charters without spelling it out for them. I would also love to hear what other people think about it as again I'm quite proud of my little leap of faith their.

Us pony-folk is a generalization however any family or caretaker would reasonably be more informed on the matter. Doctors learn hundreds of diseases, injuries, cures and any number of other things; a pony doctor isn't going to take time to learn about dragon health issues that he would never feasibly see (the doctor having a moment of IS THAT A DRAGON was a emphasis to this point).

If you don't like it don't continue to read it (although everyone should at least read the first 2 chapters before judging), simple really. I honestly just don't care. So thanks for reading and here's the door don't let it hit you on the way out.

P.S. Here's a secret teenagers are really really into sex and unless i describe it its not a mature tag but its still a possibility :ajsmug:

555831 :twilightblush: somehow ultimate Sparity fan doesn't seem as exciting as ultimate Spiderman.

This story....
media.comicvine.com/uploads/5/52044/2060390-i_like_it_super.jpg
I could always read a good spikeXrarity :pinkiehappy:

555525
ok so you made some corrections but still....

images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26600000/Princess-Luna-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-26686392-633-350.png
"Thou art a kill-joy!" :facehoof:

there is a difference between "reviewing" and looking for things to pick at :ajbemused:

Favorited and following

Definitly a good fic. I'll be making sure to be keeping an eye out for updates :twilightsmile:

557664 thanks :pinkiehappy:

And yea I'm gonna fix those corrections when i have more time and then I'm just gonna delete both his comments and edit my response to him as a generalization and make it sound less like me being a ass back and more of a guideline for any confusion.

555683
:rainbowkiss: I feel so loved!

557648
lol i didnt even notice the resemblance in the words when i wrote that lol

fav'd and tracked, looking forward to the next update. I wonder what caused the second floor to collapse?

560352 it'll be directly mentioned in the next chapter but the whole building shakes rather violently. Not a whole lot of things that can cause that :raritywink:

575661 I know right to an almost sickening point really :pinkiesick:. I figured the picture would push everyone over the edge. :ajsmug:

575703 ..... stop reading my mind that's totally guessable by a combo of my picture for cover art and my summary.

575591 OH MY CELESTIA THAT IS CUTE............:rainbowderp: hmmmm.... Ill go take a time out now.

575794 Yes i think that's the first picture to actually cause a immediate d'awwwwwwwwww to come out of my mouth. I got strange looks from everyone around... Its just so damn adorable and i felt it fit the chapter well so i couldn't resist.

575803 LOL I know how ya feel lets just say Ill never read fics in a cafe again have a tendency to forget other people exist. :derpyderp2:

Over the edge of dawww. Im freefalling and im Loving it.

575836 Ya people tend to back away slowly when you start breaking out in uncontrollable laughter :rainbowlaugh: Or a real sad fic and you start crying (okay i don't cry to be fair cause im more or less heartless but still I can imagine the reactions) :raritycry:. That would be really awkward :pinkiesad2:

576676 SPLAT! Somebody get a shovel over here. :rainbowwild:

wow... just.... wow :eeyup:

Love it!! Continue!!!

wow so cute. Please continue!

Why I haven't check this one before?
Nice way to make an engaging intro for the story by the way.

624764 Only person to ever comment on that by the way, which is a shame as I really liked how I wrote it but it gets no attention.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_grin.png

Why do we enjoy so much fluffy smushy stories? Is it cuz they're happy? Cute? Adorable?
I don't know but In my case I'd say cuz they make ME happy. That's all I need to know. Goog job mate.

So this did not get proofread by anyone other than me, in order to meet my self inflicted deadline. As such I treated it like a Honors English paper (I hated my teacher and she hated me so making her pass me with straight A's was one of many ways I ruined her year :ajsmug:). Good times. Anyways if you happen to catch a mistake my bad.:derpyderp2:

Enjoy the fluff, humor, and sultryness.

Well, a few errors here and there, but nothing too bad. I liked it! Good show my dear chap!

646470 I try and if you feel so compelled pointing out the errors in a constructive way is always welcome not necessary though.

spike and rarity are gonna "get-it-on" so to speeke.deviantart.com/emoticons/moods/love/lust.gif

646528 two of your comments responded to in 2 mins, I am awesome! I'm not sure how a gem heart is a reaction though... guess I'll go with you love itdl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Bonbon_OMG_LOVE.png

646569 So to speak my ass. I write clop and this is getting written although it'll be posted separately to keep the teen rating and so those who don't want to read it won't have to :raritywink:

646507 Sorry, in the middle of writing my own story. >.> I know you must HATE these comments, but I'll try to find the errors and send them via PM later.

646636 No need I just didn't want you to think I was gonna rip your head off if you pointed um out.

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