From behind the white Alicorn, a midnight blue Alicorn, equal in majesty and height, stepped out.
“Tia, I believe you may have overreacted.”
“Oh, um, quite right, Luna. Sorry everyone,” apologized the elder sister.
The tension in the room slowly defused at the appearance of the younger of the two goddesses.
Rainbow Dash, who had been standing next to Applejack the whole time, leaned over and whispered into her friends ear, “I think we’re about to see if Rarity can banish a sun goddess to the Sun.”
“I reckon so.”
Almost as if on cue, Rarity recovered from her shock, her previously overjoyed face taking a turn into angry and malicious.
“Who do you think are, telling us what we can do? We finally find happiness with one another and Spike asks me to spend the rest of our lives together, and you just come in here and think you can tell us no!” Venom dripped from Rarity’s words as she walked towards the princess. The goddess of the sun, co-ruler of Equestria, she who stood against Discord, banished her corrupted sister to the moon, and challenged the Queen of the Changelings, began backing down.
“It’s not like that Rari-”
“Did I say, I was done? Oh, no. You hypocrite! You preach love and tolerance and go on and on about wanting your subjects to be happy, but as soon as one of them has a chance too, you just flash in here and tell them no, they can’t get married cause one of them is a dragon and the others a Unicorn,” Rarity had worked herself into a frenzy, as Celestia found the wall with the royal flank.
“RARITY! ENOUGH!” Spike shouted, grabbing his love from behind in a warm and strong embrace.
“But why?” The previously angry Unicorn now sounded on the verge of tears, heartbreak resonating through her causing her to shake in Spike’s arms.
“I’m sure she has her reason,” Spike turned and looked at Celestia, “and it better be a damn good one,” he finished, flashing his fangs and focusing the rage in his eyes right into the eyes of the pony he thought of as his mother.
Celestia seemed to be at a loss for words.
“She has her reasons,” Luna spoke up. She had been standing next the punch bowl with a cup of Gummy’s favorite held in her magic. She seemed slightly amused at watching her older sister get a verbal lashing from the scorned lovers. Luna began explaining for her distraught sister, “Equestria has no laws against marriage between sapient beings of different species. It is rare notably, but not unheard of.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Twilight spoke up, her natural curiosity kicking in.
“Celestia explain to our friends and family why these two cannot currently get married,” Luna instructed, giving her sister a chance to redeem herself.
“Um, right. You see my little po-,” an aggravated glance from Spike cut her off, she had interrupted one of the happiest days of their lives she would treat them as equal and not talk down to them. “My friends… my family, Draconia, the nation ruled over by the Broodmother, ruler of the sky, and the King of Dragons, master of the earth, has laws against dragons marrying outside their species. It is not an act of bigotry though. You see dragons are extremely magical creatures, but unlike ponies their magic is more natural. It is tied directly into their emotions. A dragon’s greed, sorrow, and rage can bring destruction and misery if not properly controlled. On the other hoof, their happiness, love, and laughter can bring great fortune and feats of magic beyond understanding. It is therefore a source of great concern for the dragon nation that another species would attempt to trick a dragon into falling in love with them, as a way of abusing their natural magic. Equally important is if the dragon should discover the truth and their unleashed emotions be wrought upon this world.”
“But we’re not like that!” Rarity defended, slightly insulted at the very notion.
“I know. However, dragons are immortal beings, much like me and Luna,” Celestia motioned to her sister, “and as such even if your love is real, the loss of you to time could be too great for the dragon. You see, dragon emotions are so strong that once they find a true mate they will never find another. The cynical or depressed state that leaves a dragon in is extremely dangerous.”
The realization of losing Rarity forever seemed to hit Spike harder than any building ever could. But he would not be deterred, a fire blazing in his eyes as he met Celestia’s gaze. “I would rather be happy living with her for as long as I can, then spend even one moment wishing for what could have been.”
Celestia’s face shone of pride at her surrogate son’s words. “The dragons would agree with you. They are not heartless monsters after all. When they created the law, they also created a loop hole. If you two can prove that your love is pure and unweaning in light of adversity and the future to the dragon council they will allow your marriage, as well as give you an extremely generous gift. Before you ask, the Dragon Council rules alongside the Queen and King in the interest of the clans, though it is rare for the council or the king and queen to get involved in most matters. Also, I am forbidden to inform you of your reward for passing their trials, and trials they will be. The specifics are strongly protected, but I know that they are very difficult and very trying. It is not unheard of for one to perish during them, go insane, or despise the one they once claimed to love so strongly. I would normally advise against this course of action; however, I know you two would just do it anyway. I will be sending the council an official notice of your arrival and of your proposal. You will need to leave in two days’ time; you have until then to attend to any business or preparations you wish.” Celestia took a breath having finished her official announcement.
“Well said sister.” Luna raised her mug and prompted a toast, “however, I believe we should spend tonight together as friends and family. We may wish this night to last eternal, but tomorrow brings a new dawn and the beginning of a difficult trial for our young lovers. They will need our support in the coming trials, and while we cannot join them, we can spend tonight reminding them that we will always be by their sides, just as they will always be in our hearts. Now let us drink, and revel in old memories as we make new ones together.”
Everyone raised their glasses and mugs and yelled, “CHEERS!”
Celestia walked outside the boutique. Spike and Rarity followed after her.
“Celestia, I wish to apologize for my behavior,” Rarity started.
Celestia stood, her back to the two, “no need Rarity. I was so concerned about the whole thing that I over reacted a bit. If anyone should apologize it’s me. But instead of focusing on the negative details, we need to discuss the happy ones. The trials ahead of you both will be very difficult, and it is moments like these, surrounded by your family and friends, and in your love for one another, that you will find the strength to overcome them.” Celestia turned to face them, tears rolling down her face, a large warm smile, and eyes that screamed of love and happiness. “It is not every day my son proposes to such a fantastic mare after all.”
“Mom, you’re embarrassing me,” Spike pretended to whine, as he blushed.
Celestia’s smile grew as she heard the sentiment Spike had not used since he was a young hatchling.
“It’s not every day the greatest drake in the world proposes to me either,” Rarity reminded Celestia, as she snuggled against Spike.
Spike quickly draped his arm over his mare, as she leaned against her dragon. They felt as if any challenge would be trivial in the wake of their love.
“Let’s head back inside. I’m sure everyone would like to join in on these new memories that Luna promised all of them,” Celestia suggested, knowing that the two could spend the rest of the night as they were. Still she knew that tonight was best spent surrounded by those who cared deeply for them and their happiness.
And with that the trio walked back into the party, to join their loved ones. The party would last all night, but like all nights, it would end, and the sun would rise on a new tomorrow.
And you thought horrible things about Celestia, shame on you. Have a blanket, you'll need it on the moon.
Okay, so yea, it's about 500 words shorter then normal, but a chapter's length should be based on the events that happen with in it and not on some predefined word count. These events are pretty important even if it's a lot of explanations and dialogue.
Before anyone complains that there's a big ass paragraph in there and wah, wah, wah, it's called a monologue. It's a very useful part of written and spoken language where a person/character gives a speech. A paragraph has no size minimum or maximum it's about keeping pertaining information together, something many fim fiction people seem to not understand.
Now that we're done with the English lesson, lets talk story. The adventure is coming up and is introduced here. exciting isn't it. Twilight doesn't really get a chance to speak in this chapter. I know many of you are like "her mentor is at ends with her brother and best friend. Why isn't she delegating?" Things play out faster then Twilight can intervene or needs too really. I feel bad for the adorkable unicorn caught in the middle of all this but sometimes things do happen without her "saving the day."
How awesome is that ending sentence there? Honestly, I feel so bad ass for coming up with it.
OH GOD YES! FUCK YES I LOVE THIS IT WAS ABOUT TIME! YES SPIKE AND RARITY! Now I wait for the other storys.
842327
*Celestia looks at all of the neigh-sayers from last chapters comments.* "Do you like... Mmmm Bananas?"
So. I'm very glad that things turned out okay. I admit to yelling at the screen after I got over my speechlessness last chapter, but its all good now.
Impressions for this chapter: My first though after the explanation about the council? Oh great, another council. (I should qualify this with my belief about councils in fiction. The VAST majority of them are absolute dicks. I hate councils.)
Anyway, great chapter. Looking forward to more!
842412 Well this one will have a dick or two but let's just say the council is going to have a number of diffrent personalities after all if everyone was the same why have clans?
By the way the idea of someone yelling at their monitor truly makes me feel awesome. It implies I had just the right amount of shock value.
842397 The caps lock is located to the left of the a button. Happy to proved for your Sparity needs.
YAY NEW CHAPTER.
Good to see that it did not turn into a giant high like I thought it would. I am also interested in what the council will have to say in this matter as well as what the trials all consist of.
Can't wait for the next chapter. keep up the great work.
842474 Yes the trials and council will be quite fun. *Sadistic grin*
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1572-132355278014.gif 842466
celestia u hor
About time, i always love celly, i hate the people who think she is a evil dictator or something, tough she's good at trolling, inoffensive and good trolling.
finally someone wrote more into dragons than just creatures of greed.
if overreacting Celestia and borderline rarpist Luna ever got together, then Spike and Rarity would be screwed!!
also, was i the only one that was happy about the ending of the last chapter? cause i feel like a crazy person Mr.Clo-- *sighPath_of_cloud
Nice Chapter, but it only makes me want the next one even more. Love it and keep going ^^
Well at least Luna acted the more rational one. Anyway, this new chapter is great. I kind of want to say that maybe at the end of the trials, Rarity becomes a dragonness and becomes immortal like the other dragons.
Or maybe you'll take a page from my story, The Dragon That Would be Pony, and make Spike into a pony.
842520 Hmm, didn't no they spelled whore differently in Canada. (Sarcasm)
842510 And yet still adorable.
842602 Yes, yes she is.
842865 Victory! But on my own stuff Mr. works, it's just on your stuff that I suspect people are like "who the fuck is that?" I think we'd all be screwed to be fair.
842808 Cause dragons are fucking awesome!
843637 Yay, I'm doing this "writing thing" right! Woots!
843908 That's because Luna is adorable and having her show up Celestia amuses me. Nope, but not a bad guess. There are surprisingly few stories were Rarity becomes a dragon.
844182 Well I look forward to the next chapter. I'm also looking forward to the next SahSLL chapter.
844401 Did you see S2 episode 10? Ya know where EVERY Dragon had wings, and the teenage dragons had wings in different stages of development. In other words the wings sprout and grow as they get older. Yea hes older, hes grown up, he runs around doing shit for everybody, Twilight, Celestia, Rarity, Fluttershy, and most likely all of the other mane 6 and whoever else asks for his help. Physical labor = building muscles. The whole point of "but she loved him for who he was, who he had always been" was that his new size, age, and anything else he gained was not the reason she fell in love with him. He didn't need to get hit by a roof, she already loved him. In other words, I have full pride in Spike, but he's a dragon and guess what he's growing. It's been years, years!
844211 Yea someone should write that... wait a minute...
844687 and Rarity. She's has to prove herself to.
844743 You said you had a proofreader going over that right? Why's he taking so long in finishing it?
844932 He lost his lap top. Plus I'm still short 2000 or so words till the end of the chapter, side effect of real life sucking. Trust me though, it is so worth the wait. If I could get like 3-4 hours of peace to write without having to worry about complications it would be done.
844946 Oh I feel bad for him, I hope he finds it again soon. Good luck on writing more of the fic (depending if your family will leave you alone).
844972 Knowing them I have a Snowball's chance in a cat scanner. (If you got this reference have a cookie.)
844988 Sadly I don't.
845174 Big Bang Theory.
I smell a sex scene later on in the story[img]mlp caps lock[/img]
845317 Your gif/meme/picture didn't work. Also, not likely, already been there and tapped that... I mean did that. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure they'll have their fun, but its not really story driving at this point in time.
If your looking for more sex scenes you'll have to wait for updates on the other three. Which is actually deeply cruel of me to tease you with.
damn it and hoorha
845216 Ah...I don't watch that show.
Rainbow Dash, who had been standing next to Applejack the whole time, leaned over and whispered into her friends ear, “I think we’re about to see if Rarity can banish a sun goddess to the Sun.”
So.....much....win!!!!!
Thank you for another awesome chapter.
849277 Yea, it was too good not to incorporate in some way. Thanks for letting me borrow a moment of genius.
851950 I thought so
I rather like this so far, and I loved the "banish a sun goddess to the sun" line.
853288 Makes me wish I could take credit for the line.
awesome this chapter is great
Oh man... I really hope both Spike and Rarity passes the trials. Would be such a shame to see the two having to end their relation just because one of them fails a stupid, silly trial...
This is an excellent story! In the end, I hope it will prove itself that, indeed, "Love conquers all".
859876
875807 Yes, a shame... dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png Well, will just have to wait for another chapter, well you have to wait, I already know the end game dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Fluttershy_umad.png
875963 And it better be a damn good end game, or I will make Pinkie find you and cut you up with katanas.
Nah, just kidding man.
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/discord.png ლ(ಠ益ಠლ)
I WANT MOAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
923701 IT'S THE ANTI-CLICHE! Really it is. All the cliches are countered such as at birthday party confession and horrible incident leading to love.
Well, I'm caught up. Feel free to write and send me the next chapter to edit.
(FYI: I cringed a few times, but I'm not in an editing mood right now. I'll get to it eventually, though. Don't want people being deterred from your story due to bad grammar in the opening chapters, eh?)
SPOILER ALERT!!!
REVELATIONS
From behind the white Alicorn, a midnight blue Alicorn, equal in majesty and height, stepped out.
-Again, you seem to be slipping into "Lavender Unicorn Syndrome", although I could be wrong about the order making any difference. For me at least, you should always use names first, then mix in descriptives when you would otherwise have the same name twice or more in a short period.
“Oh, um, quite right, Luna. Sorry everyone,” apologized the elder sister.
-Does that mean there isn't a problem at all, or that there is one, but a solution is easy to figure out (if not necessarily to execute), or that there is one and no solution is apparent, but Celestia should have been more polite? In any case I think this doesn't fit Celestia's character, regardless of the fact that she is Spike's mother.
Rarity recovered from her shock,
-Interesting that RD predicted this BEFORE Rarity recovered. I guess RD knows anger even if she generally is a bit insensitive.
“It’s not like that Rari-”
-Ok, so there is some good reason. Probably international politics.
“Did I say, I was done?
-Comma seems extraneous.
Celestia seemed to be at a loss for words.
-Again, seems very out of character. She is being invited to speak, and she spoke up against Discord and just a few seconds ago when Rarity counter-interrupted.
scorned lovers.
-Poor choice of term. "Scorned" is usually used when one member of the couple is rejected by the other. Also, this subtly implies that the Diarchs know that they have been having sex (which actually seems out of place for them to do in Equestria's society, but I realize that opinions may differ).
Equestria has no laws against marriage between sapient beings of different species.
-Ok, makes sense, and besides it seems like the sort of thing that Twilight would have looked up at some point over the years (or Spike since he ALSO lives in the library).
It is rare notably,
-Consider "notably rare".
an aggravated glance from Spike cut her off, she had interrupted one of the happiest days of their lives she would treat them as equal and not talk down to them.
-Interesting point... I would think Spike would consider himself to be included by default, just like one can call a mixed gender group "you guys".
Draconia, the nation ruled over by the Broodmother, ruler of the sky, and the King of Dragons, master of the earth,
-Ah, diplomatic incident.
has laws against dragons marrying outside their species.
-More details, good...
It is not an act of bigotry though. You see dragons are extremely magical creatures, but unlike ponies their magic is more natural. It is tied directly into their emotions. A dragon’s greed, sorrow, and rage can bring destruction and misery if not properly controlled.
-Interesting... not seeing how it connects.
On the other hoof, their happiness, love, and laughter can bring great fortune and feats of magic beyond understanding.
-Arms control equivalent then. Seems a little loose actually, since love results in marriage, not the other way around. Of course, that could just be trying to keep the law less intrusive. The other option would be a "no fraternizing" rule.
Equally important is if the dragon should discover the truth and their unleashed emotions be wrought upon this world.
-Seems a bit oppressive then and prone to cause accidents. Does explain why it is less intrusive maybe.
The cynical or depressed state that leaves a dragon in is extremely dangerous.”
-Sounds like Rarity needs to become a dragon (perhaps through Spike's love-magic)... or at least immortal.
The realization of losing Rarity forever seemed to hit Spike harder than any building ever could.
-Consider "ceiling"... but I can see how this makes it a bigger statement while still keeping the reference.
Celestia’s face shone of pride at her surrogate son’s words. “The dragons would agree with you. They are not heartless monsters after all. When they created the law, they also created a loop hole.
-Again, Celestia seems out of character for having over-reacted before. She could have just said "There is a bit of a problem here!" from the start. It doesn't make much sense as a test, because then she would have been ready for the anger from them and recovered better. She fought effectively against Nightmare Moon so having an ally turn against her is something she can handle (unless she has stress from how badly that worked out).
unweaning
-Try "unwavering commitment". Unweaning doesn't make sense (and TECHNICALLY isn't a word according to my spell-checker).
as well as give you an extremely generous gift.
-Said immortality, or just a largish hoard?
Also, I am forbidden to inform you of your reward for passing their trials, and trials they will be.
-Immortality seems more likely given the second phrase,
The specifics are strongly protected, but I know that they are very difficult and very trying.
-Until this point I thought you might (or might not) have had a typo regarding the last phrase of the previous line I commented on.
I will be sending the council an official notice of your arrival and of your proposal. You will need to leave in two days’ time; you have until then to attend to any business or preparations you wish.
-Seems a bit like she is rushing them without need. She could just say "I can set it up for as early as two days from now."... unless the Council/King and Queen prefer these things both reported and handled very rapidly.
Luna raised her mug and prompted a toast,
-Doesn't seem like the sort of encouraging thing that warrants a toast. If she had said "So let us toast to True Love, and hope for their success!".
Celestia stood her back to the two as she began talking, “no need Rarity.
-Try this "Celestia stood, her back to the two," and leave off "as she began talking".
I was so concerned about the whole thing that I over reacted a bit.
-Concerned about the diplomatic stuff, or about their two lives?
and it is moments like these and
-Like what specifically?
but doesn't the elements of harmony grant immortality as shown in spike and his six lovely ladies?
844741 *clap* well said
2373787
That's what I'm doing for my stories.
I won't lie. I like this. The concept, everything.. Except the pacing. The pacing is rather erratic and jumps from 1 to 11 to quickly in my opinion. But otherwise it is decent, and I will continue reading. Plus, decent sparity is few and far between, so yeah.