I just thought of something. If (and WHEN) Apple Bloom does get all these fillies preggers, s/he will probably stay a colt, and later be a stallion, yes? Biggest herd in recorded history?

Before I say anything else, I must commend you for your perseverance and dedication. If a story of mine received such a negative rating I'd most likely just flat-out stop working on it and proceeded to weep over my supposed incompetence in a dark corner...

Anyway, I've read every chapter available of your story so far—even those deleted ones thanks to saving the whole thing on my HDD when I first stumbled upon it—and I must admit that I generally enjoyed it and even found some parts amusing.

As for your work being very similar (at least at the beginning) to some other story... honestly, as long as you hadn't outright plagiarised the piece that inspired you, I don't really care; this entire fanfiction thing is based on derivation, after all. I haven't read the latest "[CENSORED]" chapter yet, but it is clear as day that you took your own spin on the story after Scootaloo's affair with AB.

Okay, let's talk about the story itself for a change. I won't give you a review of any kind, mainly because I don't consider myself a capable enough person to undertake such a task, but I will nevertheless note the things that grabbed my attention in some ways.

In some paragraph you've mentioned that AB in her colt body was only a head shorter than her hulk of a brother. From that point on I stopped looking at this fic as a foalcon story, and saw the characters in a new light—at least from a stricte biological standpoint. They were no longer little kids on the brink of puberty by human standards, but individuals capable of bringing their offspring to term without much danger to their own physical well-being.

I'll just assume that a pony's sexual maturity process in your universe is wholly different than that of a human, and for the sake of my own sanity I will cling to that notion like a drowning man to a lifeline, especially given the consequences that the actions of our youthful characters will surely (I hope ) entail. I guess I just dare to expect that their bodies are more 'reasonable' in a way, as in not to allow a kid who is neither physically nor mentally prepared to bear a child to become pregnant.

I also can't help but comment on the flawed sexual education system in the Ponyville community. If my previous assumption is even slightly accurate, then whoever designed their core curriculum will be in a heap of trouble... for not taking into the account the possible influence of a mischievous spirit of chaos

The attitude of the adults doesn't help either—with the colts's level of knowledge being proof of that.

The only thing that's stopping those poor, confused colts from going wild on the estrus-addled fillies is a misguided perception of their predicament being a contagious ailment; a carelessly constructed deterrent instilled in them by their respective authority figures. Now enter Apple Bloom, a savior, a sage, freeing them of their superstitions and lifting the veil of ignorance clouding their minds, all the while offering new tantalizing pleasures of flesh seemingly without any consequences. They would be mad not to accept... not to say downright mean to their suffering female colleagues.

Ha! In in the wake of the inevitable population boom those prude adults of Ponyville will just wish their school had better sexual education. Reforms are sure to come...

Of course all of this rambling becomes pointless if you decide that the characters in your story are simply not fertile during their first heat, or the lingering effect of the Moon Tea prevents them from being impregnated. Oh well, I'll deal with it somehow... it's not like pregnancy and impregnation are my two biggest turn-ons...

*sniff*

As for the grammar department in your story:

I haven't noticed any major problems that would overly distract me from reading, the occasional typo or duplicated words notwithstanding, although your punctuation could use some touching up. It's mainly the case of some forgotten commas and dashes, but it is still something you can improve.

The only real complaint I have is that, as of the last few chapters, you have stopped using anything to indicate a scene change. This was especially noticeable in the latest chapter where the transition between the flashbacks was a bit confusing at first for me.

Wow, I've written a small novel here... time to wrap this up.

I think you should give the readers a chance to read the chapters that you have unsubmitted. I'd suggest putting up a link (to GDocs perhaps) in the top author's note in the "Scootaloo in Perspective" chapter. I don't know if the mods made you do it or if you've made that decision on your own, but I can certainly say that my experience with your story would have been different if I hadn't had the opportunity to read it as a whole.

Lastly, it's too bad you fell victim to a knee-jerk reaction of people that thought "Boy Stuff" was a complete rip-off of another story. It certainly doesn't deserve the awful rating it currently has accumulated.

That said, I will be looking forward to future chapters of your story—and to what extent will our gender-bent protagonist contribute to increasing Ponyville's population

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Wow, I don't know what to say. I'm honored you'd give such an in-depth review. Even if you pretend not to be qualified to do so out of modesty. I'll try to address some relevant points if I can.

Just a forewarning, I might have to delete your beautiful comment too. I had to get rid of references to a certain story, and I sort of had to do so for the comments too. I hope your opinion that my story is derived from another one isn't enough to make it get removed again... I'm probably just being too cautious in that regard.

If a story of mine received such a negative rating

"If people aren't mad at you, you're doing something wrong." - Riley Freeman

Also I sort of wrote like 23 chapters before even posting it here. I wasn't going to post it at all, but someone told me they enjoyed it and I should share it instead of just hiding it in obscure corners of the Internet.

In some paragraph you've mentioned that AB in her colt body was only a head shorter than her hulk of a brother. From that point on I stopped looking at this fic as a foalcon story, and saw the characters in a new light

One teeny little problem with that. Have you seen the size of these ponies' heads?!

I meant "only a head shorter" as a joke about how insecure s/he was about being small. Though I do imagine him pretty tall for a colt. However, you are free to imagine the characters as tall or small as you like! Or write your own version where they're all sixteen year old anthropomorphic beach bums!

whoever designed their core curriculum will be in a heap of trouble

I don't know if the mods made you do it or if you've made that decision on your own

It's not the mods' responsibility to make you do anything. They just revoke your story, and wait for you to do something to make them change their minds. The reason given was "seems to contain play-by-play copies" that my story was "like changing around and rewording some of the sentences" and "they look close enough." So I removed anything that I could possibly imagine as what they said, and I don't know if I went overboard or not. I already have bad enough judgement to post this story in the first place, and judging how to deal with admin dislike is not any easier. I'm actually kind of nervous about the times where the characters mention what they've done, but I hope that won't need to be removed too.

I would definitely be more confident if they'd told me to do something, but it'd probably be along the lines of `throw your work out and write another story` if they did, so I'm not really going to make a big deal of it. There are... honestly very few places where I can share this safely and confidentially, where anyone at all who wants to read it will see it, where it won't get banned for being underage, where it won't get banned for being bestiality, where it won't get banned for being derivative of a commercial work, and where it won't get banned just for being porn. I'd rather not spoil my only chance here by trying to argue with them or provide content that the admins might not like. They said "We don't suspect any particular malicious intent from you here, so there's no penalty associated with this action beyond revoking the story," and I'd really like to keep it that way.

Any advice here would be appreciated... I don't think I can post a Google Docs link because it'd oppose their decision. Is that just being paranoid?

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Just a forewarning, I might have to delete your beautiful comment too. I had to get rid of references to a certain story, and I sort of had to do so for the comments too.

I have censored the one direct reference to the story you were inspired with; I hope you won't have to trash "my beautiful comment" now

One teeny little problem with that. Have you seen the size of these ponies' heads?!

I meant "only a head shorter" as a joke about how insecure s/he was about being small. Though I do imagine him pretty tall for a colt.

When I imagine mlp:fim ponies in my mind's eye, I see something like this https://derpibooru.org/827393 or this https://derpibooru.org/284266 instead of their overly cartoony renditions from the show. I guess that must be the reason for my—slightly far-fetched from your perspective—assumption.

However, you are free to imagine the characters as tall or small as you like!

And that's just what I will do!

Or write your own version where they're all sixteen year old anthropomorphic beach bums!

Heh, I'd very much like to do that... writing my own story that is. But to my great frustration, I seem to be suffering from a lingering case of writer's block. I have several stories in the works, all of them outlined in detail and some even partially written and needing only the finishing touches to finally be submitted, but for some reason I can't force myself to finish them. Even a short story I tried to write for the sole purpose of breaking that block got into a standstill...
I guess that recently I have started writing longer than usual comments to hopefully—*ekhm* let's not jinx it

whoever designed their core curriculum will be in a heap of trouble

I wonder if that would be enough basis to sue her to pay child support

As for that matter concerning the unsubmitted chapters:

I don't think that simply linking a GDocs document outside of the actual story would be much of a problem, whether you do it in an author's note or on your profile page. It's not like it would be leading to content which is banned on the site, like... SONG LYRICS, or underage human pornography. But then I must admit that I have no experience in interacting with mods, so I don't know how they would react. I wouldn't want to coerce you into taking actions that might later cause unintended consequences (although I really, really doubt you'd get a permanent ban for something like that), so I'd play it safe for now and just ask a mod if you're allowed to do this.

Wish you luck

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In short estrus happens appelbloom has it so bad that she asks discord for help. discord turns her into a colt and appel bloom now helps other fillies with their estrus.
I know it's a bit short this way and i hope it gets rewritten but wat can you do.
The Discord thing was the problem if i heard it right but i'm not sure

My only issues is u named Derpy dipsy and didn't spell her last name right Doo not dew